Thus far, 2022 feels so refreshing compared to the last two years we’ve all experienced. And it’s safe to say that people are feeling safer traveling internationally again — which fills my heart to see people basking in joy exploring mother Earth! I had the time of my life treating myself to a solo trip to one of the most beautiful countries I’ve ever been to, the one and only Pura Vida lifestyle, Costa Rica!
Costa Rica is such a beautiful place to explore for any age group; it’s filled with various things to do all over the country. It was the first country I’ve ever been to in Central America, and it’s already my favorite one because of all the unique things they have to explore, the food that I couldn’t get enough of, and the Costa Rican natives being so welcoming and sweet.
I had the pleasure of staying in the capital, San José, but anyone who’s ever been to Costa Rica would say the best parts of the country to explore are outside of the city. But as the city girl that I am, I wanted to challenge myself to explore both sceneries, and I did just that, exploring different rural towns during the day and wandering San José for the nightlife scene.
Here’s a list of the best places to visit in Costa Rica.
La Paz Waterfall Garden Nature Park & Wildlife Refuge
Ajeé Buggam
La Paz Waterfall Garden Nature Park is located in Alajuela, Costa Rica. Arguably one of the most famous waterfalls in Costa Rica, La Paz is a must-see! It has five different waterfalls layers that look like it’s stacked on top of each other at different altitudes. The names of all of the waterfalls are Templo, Encantada, Magia Blanca, and Escondida, and the most acclaimed of them all La Paz.
La Paz waterfall is the most unique waterfall out of the five because you can see it as you drive on the road; it flows exquisitely in the La Paz River.
Ajeé Buggam
La Paz Waterfall Gardens Nature Park is actually split up into four parts that you can explore separately, the peace lodge (which is their five-star hotel, overlooking the waterfalls area), hiking trails, a nature park, and wildlife refugee. I would advise wearing active/comfortable attire and sneakers on your visit if you choose to explore multiple areas of the 70-acre park because it requires a lot of walking. The rescued wildlife refuge preserve is home to over 100 species that are native to Costa Rica and was quite a sight to see.
If you're a big animal lover like myself, you will really enjoy this! I got to see two-toed sloths for the first time in person, pumas, jaguars, ocelots, black-handed spider monkeys, toucans, and they had a whole butterfly observatory where the butterflies got to fly freely, and there was even an area where you could see them coming out of their cocoons.
Poás Volcano National Park
Ajeé Buggam
Costa Rica is the home of nearly 70 volcanoes, 61 of them being extinct or dormant, and six of them are active volcanos like Poás Volcano (which is not erupting when visitors visit), located in the Central Highlands of Costa Rica. Poás Volcano is about 8,887 ft tall. It was such an interesting experience feeling the weather shift; it went from low 80 degrees to several degrees cooler and cloudier the closer we got to the volcano site. The time I went to the Poás Volcano wasn’t the best time to see the volcano, it was very cloudy, and it only popped up for about 10 minutes during the 20-minute gated tour that was only 300 feet from the volcano itself.
It’s best to see the volcano around 7 a.m. or 8 a.m., but fortunately, I wasn't able to see it until around 1. When you're in the gated area to see the volcano, you’ll see that there is a light system indicating safe times to be around the volcano so people can leave the scene when it’s near the eruption stage. It was such a breathtaking sight; I highly recommend it!
Hacienda La Chimba
Ajeé Buggam
Hacienda La Chimba is definitely a must-see to add to your list if you enjoy adventurous outdoor activities! It’s located 20 minutes outside of San Jose, in a town called Santa Ana. I’d highly suggest going there in the morning and spending the whole day there because they have multiple activities that can be quite time-consuming. Out of all the activities I’ve done there, I loved ziplining most. It was my first time ziplining, and it couldn’t be a more perfect experience. They had about 5-6 ziplining areas ranging from different altitudes.
Then there is the high rope course that takes about an hour to complete, I’m a thrill-seeker, so this was a fulfilling experience for me to work through a physical obstacle course.
Ajeé Buggam
The park also features a coffee tour and a 5-9K hiking trial you can do that has different prompts to take pictures along the way. My biggest tip here is to stay hydrated and wear active gear. As an added plus, there was a restaurant there that served bomb-ass food and drinks that I was in heaven while indulging in it.
Ajeé Buggam
Doka Estate Costa Rica Coffee Tour & Plantation
Ajeé Buggam
Costa Rica is notorious for its coffee production, and let me tell you, I had about 3 cups of coffee some days from different areas because the coffee was so rich and smooth. There are coffee farms all over the country, but Doka Estate Costa Rica Coffee Plantation is one of the most famous and oldest ones because it’s a coffee plantation by a third-generation Costa Rican family.
The coffee tour the plantation offers is so thorough, taking you through all the meticulous steps of how coffee is made. From how to harvest it to sorting out different qualities of coffee beans and molding it, there are many steps in cultivating the coffee from the 45 coffee beans it takes to make a cup of coffee.
San José
Ajeé Buggam
There’s a bunch to explore in San Jose, from history and museums to culture. By far, restaurants and bars were my favorite. I had the best sangria, and tres leches dessert at Restaurante Silvestre; it’s one of the oldest yet most contemporary restaurants in the city.
Ajeé Buggam
One of the best areas I’d recommend to bar hop or explore restaurants is in Barrio Escalante; it is such a cute and hip section of the city, and so many things are so close for easy access to try out different places back to back. El Social is a modern yet edgy bar nearby where you can enjoy great music, watch a sports game, and have drinks in a mixed crowd.
Ajeé Buggam
Neon is a nice mix of a bar and lounge indoor/outdoor scene with great tunes playing in the back and a dance room if you feel called to move your body! If you're a beer drinker like myself, head to Costa Rica Beer Factory Inc; it’s such a cute beer brewery that offers a nice variation of beers to try.
Ajeé Buggam
Overall, Costa Rica is where all the action is at. My last few tips would be to plan strategically because Costa Rica can be expensive very quickly, but it’s well worth the experience. Also, if you get a chance, stay in different parts of the country to venture out more to see their beautiful beaches like Playa Flamingo and Manuel Antonio Beach and check out more adventurous sites like Skybridge in Monteverde Cloud Forest and tons more.
More than anything, stay present and enjoy your time witnessing one of the most beautiful countries the world has to offer. Pura Vida!
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As a writer who really pays attention to word meanings, something that can be a bit frustrating about our culture is the fact that based on whatever is popular at the time, folks will just up and change the original definitions of words to suit a particular agenda or whim — and the word “platonic” 1000 percent fits into this category. And perhaps that’s why we seem to continue to go in circles about whether or not people of the opposite sex can (and should) be friends and what that even can (and should) look like.
Let’s talk about it for a bit. Because as a word-literal type of individual, while again, I absolutely believe that men and women can be friends, at the same time, I think it’s about as rare as a red diamond to truly find yourself in a friendship that is…platonic.
It’s Time (More) Folks Knew What ‘Platonic’ LITERALLY Means
GiphySo, let's do first things first — let's define what it literally means for something to be platonic. If you go to your favorite search engine and put something along the lines of "What does platonic mean?", the first thing that you're (probably) going to see is a ton of dictionary definitions that say something along the lines of "of, relating to, or being a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex" (Merriam-Webster), "designating or of a relationship, or love, between a man and a woman that is purely spiritual or intellectual and without sexual activity" (Your Dictionary) and, my personal favorite, "purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, especially in a relationship between two persons of different sexes" (Dictionary). Yeah, bookmark that last one; I'll be circling back.
Keeping this in mind (and please do), where does the word "platonic" actually come from? From what I've researched, the philosopher Plato once penned something entitled "Symposium." In it, he addressed the topic of two people sharing the kind of love that is free of any type of sensual desire, one that is based on divine love alone. An author from the 1800s broke it down this way: "Platonic love meant ideal sympathy; it now means the love of a sentimental young gentleman for a woman he cannot or will not marry." A write-up on Merriam-Webster's site stated that "The term platonic was initially used to mock non-sexual relationships, as it was considered ridiculous to separate love and sex, but eventually this connotation faded away leaving us with today's notion of close friendships." Yeah, we used to live in a culture where love and sex were not separated. Hmph, that's another article for another time, though (check out "We Should Really Rethink The Term' Casual Sex'").
Anyway, as with many things (especially in our culture), the word "platonic" is kind of used in "broad strokes" these days (bromances, female friendships, etc.). However, because there continues to be this forever discussion — and oftentimes debate — about whether or not men and women can be "just friends," I'm going to tackle this topic strictly from that angle — from the place where platonic actually originated.
You ready?
Yes, Men and Women Can Be Just Friends. But…
GiphyAt this stage in my life, I'm pretty sure that I have more male friends than female ones. There are layers of reasons why, yet I think a huge one is because I like the balance that masculinity brings to my femininity (especially as I'm learning to embrace different aspects of my femininity, intentionally even more). And while every single one of my male friends is respectful and is a super safe space in my world on every single level that I can imagine (and have been for years now), there are probably only a couple who I would say 100 percent qualify as being…trulyplatonic.
Why would I say that? Well, I'll illustrate this point with something that one of my male friends once said to me. He's super cute. He can sing his ass off (and definitely has one of my favorite speaking voices). People see us out together often, and some have told us that they assume that we've had something going on at some point. Anyway, after hearing someone share their theory about us, I told it to him.
Me: "I told him, 'He's my brother. We would never mess around.'"
My Friend: "Correction, you are like a sister. You are not my sister, though. Under the right conditions, you could still get it."
When I shared that exchange with another male friend of mine, he basically cosigned on the sentiment: "Shellie, I have never approached you like that because I really respect you. I want to be good for you for the rest of our lives." (That reminds me: check out "Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?" when you get a chance.)
Then I went to one more guy homie and ran both statements by him: "Girl, yeah. If I didn't want to keep you in my life long-term, I would've tried to holla a long time ago!" And he and I have been friends for almost 20 years at this point. When did he get around to telling me this? Eh, maybe two years ago. LOL.
So, my takeaway from all of these "for real?!" exchanges is even though men and women can be just friends, there is a certain level of intention, self-control, and ability to see into the future (on some level) that must go into account — because, just because something more-than-friends-like may not have gone down, that doesn't mean there isn't a "dormant seed" lying around somewhere…whether it's one-sided or on both sides of the friendship dynamic.
As you can see, I just provided you with three instances where the male friends in my life; we've had nothing sexual or even physically intimate beyond a hug when we greet each other in nature — although things aren't exactly platonic if there is some sort of attraction or sexual/romantic curiosity that simply never got explored. Because again, according to Plato, a platonic relationship is free from all of that kind of…tension — or possibilities. Zero. Nada. Zilch.
And now you probably get why I entitled this article in the way that I did…right? I mean, just think about it — out of your male friendships, where is there NO sensual desire or dormant romantic interest…on your side and/or on his? If you're not sure about "his"…have you ever asked him? Or them? Because again, once I really let the definition of platonic sink in, I think maybe two guys in my life totally fit the bill.
This brings me to my next point.
Are You Platonic? Or Are You Friend-Zoning?
GiphyNow that you know that probably 70 percent of the people you know (both online and off) have been using the true meaning of platonic all the way wrong, let’s go about deeper: when it comes to your friendships with men, are they genuinely platonic or…is it more like you’re friend-zoning them?
A few years ago, I penned an article on the topic entitled, “Before You 'Friend Zone' Someone, Read This.” If you’re skimming this on your lunch break, I’ll summarize friend-zoning as knowing that a guy has so-much-more-than-platonic feelings for you, yet because you basically want to keep the benefits of the friendship or even his emotions around, you will string him along on some level.
Personally, I can’t stand friend-zoning. I think it’s selfish, with some sprinkles of manipulation and wasting someone’s time. Don’t agree? How would you feel if a guy was friend-zoning you? (Yeah…exactly.)
This all needs to go on record because, knowing that a guy wants to “take it there” with you (whether sexually or romantically), you not full-on addressing it and/or giving him just enough hope to take you out, listen to all of your stories about other men and give you the attention that you need knowing that he doesn’t have a shot in hell — that is NOT a platonic friendship and honestly, you’re not being a good friend at all. Friends protect each other’s hearts, not abuse them.
A platonic friendship means that you both have no interest in each other, and, as Plato put it, while you may have a strong and solid bond, it’s spiritual love that connects you. And what exactly does that mean? Spiritual love also deserves its own article, yet the gist would be that you recognize there is a purpose in your friendship, yet it’s about wanting what’s best for one another and even helping each other to get there.
For instance, a platonic friend of yours may know that you desire to be married one day, so he has no problem setting you up with a good guy in his life. And if things go well, he would have no problem standing up as your own best man (without feeling like he’s dying inside) because he never saw you beyond anything but a friend. A guy in the friend zone doesn’t move like this; he likes you too much to help you move on with someone else. See the difference?
Why Relationships Should Start Off As NON-PLATONIC Friendships
GiphyBefore I end this with some tips on how to properly care for the few platonic friendships you may actually have, since the use of the word may require a bit of mental reprogramming, I do think we should also address that if you've got a good guy in your life, who right now is a friend and either you've never thought of him in that way or the topic has never come up — he's someone that you may not want to brush off.
What I mean by that is, it's one thing for there to be absolutely no interest in someone vs. never considering it before — and the reason why you might want to give it some thought is because, ask any healthy married couple who's been together for more than five years and I'll bet you my next rent check that they will say that the best relationships are birthed out of friendship (check out "Are You Sure You're Actually FRIENDS With Your Spouse?").
Yeah, just because you've filed someone in the "I see him as a good guy" category, that doesn't automatically mean that y'all's friendship is platonic. For instance, I have a male friend who is fine and I adore on many levels, yet the reason why it would never work on my end is because there are certain relational standards that I have that he does not meet. However, don't get it twisted — I've considered him because, on so many levels, we "fit." So, the mere fact that I ever seriously thought about him on that level means that we are "good friends," yet it's not exactly platonic.
I'm not free of potential sensual desire…I just choose not to act on it. Yet because I get the value of having friendship as the foundation for my own future marriage (should life play out that way), I am wise enough to know that I would've been a fool to not at least…ponder him and the possibilities.
So yeah, if there is a male friend in your life that the thought of dating or having sex with him doesn't make you want to throw up in your mouth, there's a pretty good chance that it's not a classic platonic dynamic — and you might want to consider if it could/should go to the next level — if not immediately, eventually. Because there's a pretty good chance that if you are thinking that way, he probably is as well.
Protect Your Genuine Platonic Friendship(s) At All Costs
GiphyLet me end this with how one of my platonic friendships rolls. We both think that the other is attractive, yet neither of us is attracted. We both give each other opposite-sex insights. We both have said that the mere thought of dating each other makes our noses turn up like there’s an odor in the air. And even when I try to imagine us together, my mind goes blank. I love, love, LOVE this man — oh, but it is absolutely nothing more than platonic — and he feels the same way. It’s as close to familial love without being blood relationships. It’s a rare dynamic, and that is what makes it so special. There is definitely a spiritual type of love there; no more, no less.
If you’ve got someone in your life who you feel the same way about (again, it’s got to be mutual; he must feel that way, too), you’ve got a gem of a situation going on because there is nothing like having the kind of friendship where you and a guy can hang out, exchange perspectives and thoroughly enjoy each other’s company, knowing that’s all it is and will ever be. Things will never get weird. No one’s feelings are gonna get hurt (from the whole friend-zoning thing). You don’t have to walk on eggshells. You can just be.
And that’s why I’m all for platonic friendships. And listen, if you’re blessed enough to have even one in your lifetime, be fiercely protective of it. Don’t take it for granted. Nurture it in a way that your male friend needs (because it probably won’t be the exact same as your female friendships). Y’all, platonic friendships are so bomb because, if it’s honored and protected correctly, it’s the one male friend that you can probably keep for life because even your romantic partner will not find it to be a (true) threat — hell, they honestly could probably end up becoming (some level of) friends with your platonic homie as well.
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I hope that I broke this all down enough to where, when you decide to use a word to describe your opposite-sex friendships, perhaps you will pause and ask yourself, “Wait, is this a platonic friend or a good or close friend?” Because the clearer you are on the differences, the easier it will be to know how to maintain your friendship — and feel about your friend. Feel me? Cool.
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