Whether we're ready or not, 2022 is here. Besides receiving utter relief from what felt like both the longest and shortest year ever, I am also looking forward to some serious style upgrades, starting with why and how I make purchases moving forward. My purchasing philosophy before the 2020 lockdown was very similar to Ariana Grande and T.I’s: "I want it, I buy it." Lately, though, my habit of abundance has taken a back seat as I find myself more intentional about my money in regards to my wardrobe. And since I still yearn for the excitement of a new trend, it’s left me a bit confused.
To get a kickstart on my inner Marie Kondo, I picked the brain of the internet’s fashion favorites and asked one important question: What's one item in your closet that you're ditching in this new season of life, and what's something you're gravitating towards in its place?
Keep reading to see what these style stars have to say, and make sure to follow these ladies for everyday style inspiration.
Brittany, Style Influencer and Founder of GREIGE
"I'm trying to rid myself of overconsumption and have been making an effort to purge items that have been too fussy or trendy that I don't wear as often. I'm always on the go, so as of late I've been dedicated to adding more functional, classic pieces to my wardrobe that have longevity and can be easily put together and styled up with great jewelry and a statement shoe or bag.
"I've recently purchased an amazing pair of lace-up chocolate-colored 'Manhattan' sandals from the brand 10th Floor that I know I'll get a lot of wear out of. Now that the world is opening back up, I'm looking forward to all the fun shoes and bags hitting the market again to get dressed up for those brunches and dinner dates."
Nikki, Dallas-based Style Influencer and ¼ of Influencing in Color
"In the new year, I’m ditching bright colors. I know it sounds crazy! I love color but as my style matures, it has become more simple and streamlined. I’m really into neutrals and investing in classic pieces!"
Jen, Maryland/DC-based Style Content Creator and Photographer
"With the new year, most fashion lovers are thinking about their wardrobe and how they want to show off their personality through their clothes. While doing an audit of my closet I realized that I’m 'ditching' all of my more fitted jackets and super cropped ones. It’s not a look that works with who I am today no matter how much I try.
"In its place, I’m gravitating towards comfort and adding more oversized, loose jackets and outerwear. Think slightly looser trench coats that can belt for a more polished look, the ever-popular shacket, and even my beloved moto jackets in a slightly longer silhouette. I’m thinking of hitting at the hip or a little lower over above the hip. Speaking of leather, I also added a few maxi leather jackets and love it!"
Tashira, Style Influencer and Founder of The Joy Lounge
"In 2022, I’m ditching skinny jeans and gravitating towards more black designers like Hanifa, Fe Noel, Almasika, and Brandon Blackwood."
Valentina, Style Influencer and Digital Communications Manager at Catbird NYC
"One item in my closet that I am ditching in this new season of life is anything I have not worn twice. I am a stickler for cleaning out my closet each season, but the new rule going into this year is ensuring I am wearing my pieces up to 5+ times and giving it the life it deserves in my closet!
"Something I am gravitating towards [when] replacing any items I am cleansing out of my closet is, more space for vintage pieces! I want to start a capsule I can enjoy and also potentially have my little cousins enjoy as well once I am done with the pieces!"
Joy, Digital Content Creator
"An item that I'm leaving behind [are] vests. I tried my best, but they're not for me. I'm looking forward to leaning into styling more sneakers. Wearing them with dresses, playing with patterns, and of course, matching sets."
Dominique, Style Influencer and Content Creator
"In this new season of my life, I’m ditching items that don’t make me feel good! If I put it on, on several different occasions and it has consistently been an 'ehh, nevermind' — it’s gotta go no matter how good it looks on a hanger!
"I’m definitely gravitating towards more color! I love wearing black, but seeing dark-skinned Black women wearing color— and a variety of it— has been so refreshing to see! I’ve definitely been inspired to continue to wear more color."
Abria, Fashion and Finance Influencer
"I recently found myself parting ways with a lot of my 'business professional' clothing. As the world continues to change and I evolve with it, workdays look much different than ever before. I’m slowly but surely dumping any items left in my closet that I simply don’t feel my best in. Whether that be stuffy blazers or random t-shirts that have seen better days, they all have to go!
"In their place… I have my eye on a few special pieces or 'FinStyle Highs' as I like to call them that I have been hunting for and believe I’ll be adding to my closet in 2022. My goal is to finance a closet I absolutely love!"
Featured image via @intheblane/Instagram
Courtney is a contributing writer, based in Puerto Rico by way of Tennessee. Interested in the intersection of fashion and culture, she has an affinity for fashion, empowerment, and really good tacos. Keep up with her on Instagram (@hautecourtxo).
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
6 Tabletop Sex Positions That'll Unlock You & Bae's Most Primal Desires
Something I will never tire of is finding new ways to bring new layers to intimacy. A wall you use as momentum, a bathroom sink to help you keep your balance as he worships you on his knees, a shower that is usually for cleansing but evolves into a sacred ritual of shared intimacy.
My favorite kind of sex is the kind of sex that prioritizes pleasure and connection. So, technically and thankfully, I can say most of my sex life has been quite pleasurable throughout the years. But the memorable encounters for sure take the cake. One such encounter actually took place on a kitchen counter, and with it unleashed inhibitions in ways I never anticipated while unlocking levels to top-tier sex. And that, that involved a kitchen counter.
Why Kitchen Counter Sex Just Hits Different
What is it about having your hips pressed into the edge of a kitchen counter that lets out something so primal in you? The cool-to-the-touch feel of the countertop against exposed skin as you rise to meet him again and again. The urgency in every movement. The playfulness of repurposing an everyday space for something far more erotic. If you’re looking to bring that energy into your own sex life, keep reading for positions and tips to explore.
1. The Bounce House
They don’t call it Bounce House for nothing. In this position, the penetrating partner lies flat on their back on a sturdy table or counter while the receiving partner straddles them, knees bent and facing away. With their hands gripping the edge of the surface for support, the receiving partner slides or bounces at their own pace, owning the rhythm, the motion, and the view.
According to sex therapist Michael Aaron, Ph.D., who spoke with Women’s Health, the receiving partner placing their legs between their partner’s creates a tighter sensation, while staying fully astride allows for more bounce and range of motion. Either way, this one puts the receiver in full control, and you know we love a good woman on top position. Pleasure and power? Say less.
2. The Bicycle
Well, you know what they say about riding a bike. In the case of this table top position, it's the receiving partner who is the rider...but not in the way you think. While lying back on a sturdy surface or a table, the receiver will bring their knees toward their chest, bending them as if in a cycling motion. The penetrating partner stands at the edge of the surface, grabbing the receiver's ankles, and guides themselves inside, slowly so as to savor the moment. This angle puts everything on display for the penetrating partner while allowing for deep, connected thrusting for the receiver.
To take things up a notch , the receiving partner can touch themselves or flex their thighs to control the depth or the rhythm. Because, who says only one person gets to have control?
3. Counter Offer
How could we be at the table and not use it to eat? Enter: Counter Offer. In this oral-focused sex position, the receiving partner perches on the edge of a counter or table, lying back or sitting upright with legs parted or bent for comfort. The penetrating partner kneels or stands between their thighs, depending on the setup and the kind of attention they’re ready to give. No doubt, this one’s all about access and intention.
With the vulva front and center, the height makes it easier to maintain eye contact, use hands freely for things like breast play or incorporating toys, and take their time with every moan-inducing taste. And that’s on five, six, seven, ATE.
4. Standing Doggy
Standing Doggy is what happens when a classic like doggy style gets an upgrade. Instead of being on all fours on a bed, the receiving partner bends over a hard surface like a table or counter, keeping their hips aligned at its edge. The penetrating partner stands behind and enters from the back, using the angle to go deeper and create a strong, steady rhythm. This one offers maximum control and visual appeal, especially if the penetrating partner reaches around for a little extra clitoral stimulation throughout thrusting.
This angle can get intense quickly, so bonus points if the receiving partner engages their pelvic floor muscles or shifts their weight to adjust how the pressure hits, especially if your goal is to hit that G-spot sweet spot.
5. Top Shelf
Men's Healthcalls this one "Yourself on the Shelf," but we like to call it "Top Shelf" because it's giving full view, full grip, and climax potential that's hard to top. The receiving partner sits on the edge of a sturdy table or counter while the penetrating partner stands in front of them and slowly slides in, thrusting while keeping them in position. From there, legs can wrap around their waist, arms can encircle their back, and the closeness at peak ecstasy? Chef's kiss.
If you have the core strength, add lifting to the menu for the final strokes leading to orgasm. Otherwise, allow the surface to the heavy lifting and enjoy the pleasure.
6. The Thumper
What better way to remind yourself that you're both the snack and the entrée than with a little tableside service courtesy of The Thumper? This position has the receiving partner kneeling on a sturdy table or counter (keyword: sturdy), hands gripping the edge or braced in front for support. The penetrating partner can then either kneel behind them (if there's room for two), or stay anchored on the ground with both feet planted on the floor (similar to the previously mentioned Standing Doggy). It all depends on the mood.
Kneeling on the table offers just the right amount of leverage for deep, steady strokes. The receiving partner can play with tightness by either keeping their knees closer together for a snug grip, or open their knees wider to invite more access, depth, and stretch. The Thumper is versatile that way, and the most important thing? The receiver gets to be the main course. Yum.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock