This Influencer Embraces Her Sexuality While Saving Smart
Money Talks is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they spend it.
Though social media only sees a sexy influencer when you come across her Instagram page, Tere Tatiana is the definition of beauty and brains, and proof that being sexy and smart can coexist in today's digital world. Born Tereion Tatiana Henry, the self-proclaimed "cornbread-fed Georgia peach" graduated summa cum laude from Claflin University with a degree in Public Relations. In 2009, admittedly thrusted herself into the balancing act of being a single mother and preparing for deployment to Afghanistan as a government contractor.
Her four businesses––Labeled Blu Collections, Labeled Blu Realty, Labeled Blu Transportation, Southern Hospitality Adult Daycare Facility––are a product of her ambition and determination to fulfill her purpose to break the stigma against women in today's society. Though she has not personally experienced it, she recognizes the struggles of social media influencers who embrace their sexuality while being respected as businesswomen and entrepreneurs. Tere told xoNecole that the only negative experience she encounters is upon first impression when people believe her brand is shallow and solely based upon the glitz and glam of the influencer lifestyle. "Once they get to know me or see the informative business information I share with my followers, they message me apologizing for misjudging me and some even want me to mentor them. It's always gratifying when I can change a person's perspective of attractive women in business," she shared.
Courtesy of Tere Tatiana
"I feel society can do more by not shaming women for being human. Being sexy or having sex period shouldn't even be a topic of discussion when involving business. There are so many women who are smart, ambitious, tenacious, and driven, but just so happen to be sexy. Society should celebrate that."
"To me, it's very important for women to capitalize on their own intellectual, their own education, and experience, their own swag. It also gives her a sense of ownership and accomplishment by seeing her baby through," she said referring to a woman's business, brand, or project.
In this installment of "Money Talks", xoNecole spoke with the 34-year-old serial entrepreneur and social media influencer about turning your influence into wealth, increasing your income during the COVID-19 pandemic and her journey to financial stability as a smart, sexy entrepreneur.
On how much she saves and if it’s in a high-yield savings account:
"With my current budget, I have a set $2,000 monthly savings requirement for myself. It's been working pretty good so far. It's in a high-yield savings account."
On her definitions of wealth and success:
"To me, wealth refers to a person's monetary value perceived by others, while having success is how a person perceives themselves. Having self-fulfillment that doesn't necessarily relate to finance."
Courtesy of Tere Tatiana
On the lowest she’s ever felt when it came to her finances and how she overcame it:
"The lowest I've ever felt was when my ex-husband, who is an officer in the military, and I didn't have $13 between the two of us to get our daughter a can of milk in 2009. Yes, we both came from very supportive families but it was the principle for me. It really triggered my mentality towards being financially secure. In my mind, it pushed me into leaving my daughter at four-months-old to go to Afghanistan to make fast money. I vowed I'd never have that feeling again. And thank God, I haven't.
"I channeled that negative feeling of not being able to provide for my child into building a legacy I can one day be able to pass along to her. I have pursued and secured several very lucrative streams of income, that way I'd have a better chance of maintaining financially if anything were to ever happen economically."
On her biggest splurge to date:
"My biggest splurge would be my 2020 Maserati truck. It has always been my dream car and I felt as though I've worked hard enough for long enough to treat myself to something nice."
Courtesy of Tere Tatiana
"I channeled that negative feeling of not being able to provide for my child into building a legacy I can one day be able to pass along to her. I have pursued and secured several very lucrative streams of income, that way I'd have a better chance of maintaining financially if anything were to ever happen economically."
On whether she’s a spender or a saver:
"I am a woman (laughs) so I would consider myself a spender by nature. I had to train myself to become more disciplined, which was extremely hard. Honestly, I could probably do better."
On the importance of investing:
"It's very necessary to invest. My motto in business and life in general: Everything is a flow. Nothing can come in if nothing comes out! You have to sow seeds. If for nothing else, making residual income. A lot of millionaires become millionaires or multi-millionaires from making residual income. I've invested hundreds of thousands in different business ventures, as well as into myself and my brand. I also invest in stock, I purchased some Facebook stock when they first went public, as well as Bitcoin."
Courtesy of Tere Tatiana
"Everything is a flow. Nothing can come in if nothing comes out! You have to sow seeds. If for nothing else, making residual income. A lot of millionaires become millionaires or multi-millionaires from making residual income. I've invested hundreds of thousands in different business ventures, as well as into myself and my brand."
On her savings goals and what retirement looks like to her:
"I would like to become even more financially literate in moving and saving money. At this point in my life, it's hard for me to fathom retirement. I feel as though I'm one of those people who always have to have their hands into something."
On her budgeting must-haves:
"My budget must-haves would be cosmetics (hair, makeup, nails), tuitions, paying myself first, and food! (laughs) I'm definitely a foodie."
On her intentions behind multiple streams of revenue:
"My streams of revenue are from my trucking, real estate, and adult daycare facility. I also still make over six figures yearly with my job as a government contractor. I'm also in the works of developing a virtual trucking course for those looking to get into the trucking industry.
"Having multiple streams of income is very necessary! In today's unstable economy, entrepreneurs must remain fluid in order to survive. Plus, it's common knowledge that most millionaires have at least seven streams of income."
Courtesy of Tere Tatiana
"Having multiple streams of income is very necessary! In today's unstable economy, entrepreneurs must remain fluid in order to survive. Plus, it's common knowledge that most millionaires have at least seven streams of income."
On unhealthy money habits and mindsets:
"I had a really big problem with having the attitude of 'I'll make it right back!'. I'm so accustomed to making and being around fast money. Even as a child, my mother was a popular hairdresser from my hometown, so I've seen fast money my entire life. I [overcame it when] I saw [that] I got more accomplished. I actually began to 'see' my money and how it was working for me. I became more financially stable. I was even able to show others how to adopt the same mindset."
On her money mantra:
"I actually have two: 1) 'I am unapologetic about my desire to live a rich life', and 2) 'Money flows to me with ease and grace'."
On the craziest thing she’s ever done for money:
"(Laughs) Looking back at it, I wouldn't necessarily consider it desperate, although I felt like it was at the time, but I was an exotic dancer in college. I wasn't desperate but I've definitely always had money on my mind. I've always wanted to be independent. My intentions were definitely in a good place, just misguided."
On the worst money-related decision she’s ever made:
"I would have to say going into my adult daycare business without a direct plan. It started as a group home, then evolved into a residential, then finally an adult daycare over the course of four years. Although this is a very lucrative industry, the investment and overhead was a bit of a blow to my financial plan––I would do more research next time."
On her budget breakdown:
How much do you spend on rent? $2,500
Eating out/ordering in? $1,000
Gas/car note? $2,000
Personal expenses? $6,000
For more Tere, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image courtesy of Tere Tatiana.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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A few years ago, I had dinner with my family, and some extended friends were invited. We had a great evening, and at the end of the night, someone at the table who has known me since I was a child said to me, "This is the most I've heard you speak since I met you." My response was, "When I'm with my family, I'm quite chatty." I think that was her way of saying I was much more social in this environment than she'd ever seen me at other events, and I understand why.
I've been a shy girl almost my entire life. Many people who know me intimately now as an adult would probably be shocked to hear this, but I was such a reserved kid growing up. I hated public speaking. I cried from nervousness after my first solo in church, and I was either extremely comfortable in settings or I’d shut down. As I got older, I realized that it wasn't just me being naturally shy or reserved; in some settings, my inability to feel comfortable was due to social anxiety.
@raquelmartinphd #anxiety #blackgirltiktok #tipsandtricks #drmartinhere
According to The National Institute of Mental Health, social anxiety disorder is a common type of anxiety disorder. A person with social anxiety disorder feels symptoms of anxiety or fear in situations where they may be scrutinized, evaluated, or judged by others, such as speaking in public, meeting new people, dating, being on a job interview, answering a question in class, or having to talk to a cashier in a store.
Doing everyday things, such as eating or drinking in front of others or using a public restroom, may also cause anxiety or fear due to concerns about being humiliated, judged, and rejected.
@itslerap Don’t feel alone in your struggles.. it’s more common than you think🥹 #fyp #foryou #socialanxiety #socialanxietytips #socialanxietyawareness #mentalhealth #blackgirlmentalhealth #allerapadgettandco #PostitAffirmations
How Social Anxiety Symptoms Can Show Up
- Blushing, sweating, or trembling;
- Having a rapid heart rate;
- Feeling their "mind going blank," or feeling sick to their stomach;
- Having a rigid body posture, or speaking with an overly soft voice;
- Finding it difficult to make eye contact, be around people they don't know, or talk to people in social situations, even when they want to;
- Feeling self-consciousness or fear that people will judge them negatively;
- Avoiding places where there are other people.
What Can Cause Social Anxiety Disorder
@ohmylawdthecableturnedff Like girl, leave me alone, I have social anxiety 😂
The risk for social anxiety disorder may run in families, but there isn't a specific reason to prove why some family members can experience symptoms of the disorder and others don't. Research has found that several parts of the brain are involved in fear and anxiety and that genetics influences how these areas function in tandem with stress and environment and how that plays a role in social anxiety.
As a kid, I often had many girls assume that I was stuck up, and it made me wonder for years if something was wrong with me. I found myself many times and even still now wondering how this woman who loves to be social in certain environments can, in others, clam up and not feel comfortable. Without having the language for my anxiety, I was labeled by many girls as "stuck up" or "the girl who thought I was better."
There are many layers to why that was the assumption, one being a suburban Black girl who was well dressed, so comments were quickly made if I wasn’t a social butterfly like “You think you better because you got on xyx, etc.”
It made it extremely difficult to be social in certain settings, and it wasn't until I got older and found community on social media with other girls who experienced social anxiety that I realized I wasn't stuck up or an introvert (as testing confirmed I was actually an ambivert), I was socially anxious. This realization made me feel comforted and helped me understand that as an entrepreneur and creative, I did have to network, but I could go about it in a way that made me feel comfortable.
I could research who would be in the room, practice my greetings, bring a friend to an event with me when I could, and overall remind myself that that shy little girl doesn't have to speak louder than the woman I am now. This realization and developing coping skills made me wonder why Black women aren't allowed to be socially anxious. Why do we always have to show up as the life of the party or ready to be the center of attention?
"There are many stereotypical biases that we have to go up against or manage, so we're taught that we don't have the room to be quiet or perceived as standoffish," licensed psychologist Dr. Shaakira Haywood Stewart explains. "There's this stigma and pressure to have to show up as a Black woman in the space. We don't have the right to be, sort of like the quiet, shy white girl in the back room. Like no, we have to go above and beyond. And there's a lot of pressure to have to do that in a lot of different spaces, and I can see how a lot of Black girls and women feel relieved when they find that they aren't alone in that feeling.
"There are many stereotypical biases that we have to go up against or manage, so we're taught that we don't have the room to be quiet or perceived as standoffish. There's this stigma and pressure to have to show up as a Black woman in the space."
"Even in our families and communities, there can often be a lot of pressure, even where you find a Black parent saying to a shy child, 'You better speak up,' and that creates a lot of anxiety. Parents are a bit more conscious now, not raising their children to believe they don't have room to be quiet or shy. Many of us weren't raised to have room to be shy; much of how we were socialized [were] with things such as speaking when spoken to, like when you were in the room, making eye contact as it pertains to socialization relationships."
How Social Anxiety Can Show Up in Black Women
The quiet Black woman who is socially anxious can easily get mistaken for being stuck up, "bougie," or even mean. "With my clients who are Black women that experience social anxiety, they're met with comments like 'Your face looks mean' or 'When I met you I thought you were mean but once I got to know you I realized you were nice,'" Dr. Shaakira Haywood Stewart says. "That sort of narrative happens a lot, especially in the workplace, which also contributes to how they're viewed in the workplace and where it can be assumed that they're not really a team player."
In addition to this perception having a negative impact on Black women in their work environment, this extends to how they are viewed in friendships and other forms of socialization. "You can receive comments like, 'Why are you so quiet? Why are you so standoffish? Why are you so bougie acting?'" she adds. "It really does create a barrier socially and even romantically.”
How Can Black Women and Girls Overcome Social Anxiety
In order to overcome social anxiety, Dr. Shaakira Haywood Stewart says that you must first understand what's happening to you in social settings. Understand that the anxiety you feel is a result of your nervous system becoming heightened when you're in large groups of people, at parties, etc. She also suggests therapy in order to find better coping skills to navigate certain situations as well as how to limit your social battery and situations with ease, although she notes that it might not be necessary in every case.
"If you're a Black woman dealing with anxiety, I see you, and I understand. Don't pick apart the anxiousness that you feel when you walk into rooms and instead focus on what you can control. How you look, your greeting, who you connect with, and how long you stay. Give yourself grace as you navigate social settings, and if you're someone who has passed judgment or assumed that someone was stuck up, ask yourself if they had an attitude or if it was anxiety. Extend kindness, and if you see a shy person, don't be afraid to speak first; it might just make their day and help them open up."
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Featured image by FreshSplash/Getty Images