So often, we block our own blessings because we're too afraid to be uncomfortable, but Taylor S. Hunter, freelance photographer to the stars wants you to know that the key to success may be waiting for you right outside of your comfort zone.
Just one year ago, Atlanta-based, Marksville,LA-born business owner, Taylor left both her job and her hometown to invest in her dream of becoming a visual artist and since taking that leap of faith, our good sis has been consistently booked and busy shooting some of the biggest celebrities in the game.
Securing gigs with ESSENCE and Black Girl In Om, as well as having her work featured in Vogue, Taylor has worked hard to design a career that allows her to do what she loves and collect her coin at the same damn time. The 26-year-old full-time freelance photographer told xoNecole although her journey hasn't always gone as planned, her vision has always been clear. "I always had this goal in mind to try living out of the state of Louisiana. I love home. I love my family. I'm an only child so it's really just me and them, you know? But I just had that goal in mind."
Little did she know, stepping outside of her comfort zone and following her inner calling to pursue photography as a career would trigger a series of events that'd help Taylor do exactly that...
Planting Her Seeds
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In 2018, Taylor attended her first ESSENCE Fest. The budding photographer brought her camera around to capture photos throughout the event for fun. While there, she saw a plethora of events being hosted and decided to start signing up to attend them. "I went to the Black Girl In Om brunch in New Orleans and it ended up being a very intimate bunch of maybe about 15 women. So as I was there, I just started networking," Taylor shared.
Although the visionary considers herself an introverted business owner, she learned early-on that closed mouths don't get fed, and shy freelancers rarely get booked. "The thing about being an introvert is that you can learn the right skill sets to help yourself move past that fear, you know? I think we live in a very extrovert-dominant world. And when you don't fit that part, you kind of feel like, where do I flow in all of this?"
Like many creatives, Taylor is a sister in the imposter syndrome struggle, but according to her, the secret to eliminating self-doubt is showing up for yourself… Every. Damn. Time. She continued, "I've learned to really feel confident in telling people what I [do]. I realized that the more confident that I am in my abilities, the more that attracts the right people. And it helps me find the people that I'm looking for."
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"The more confident that I am in my abilities, the more that attracts the right people. And it helps me find the people that I'm looking for."
"I started talking about my work," she shared. "I had just gone natural and cut my hair. It was just a really big time for me to just step out on faith and just to be really courageous in what I do. So, I mingled with some members of the [Black Girl In Om] team and you know, I just told them about my work as a photographer and kind of planted my seed honestly without realizing it."
For Taylor, networking is a practice rooted in genuine interest and intention. She seeks to establish true bonds and not relationships forged by opportunistic desires, and her time at ESSENCE Fest that summer was no different. Although Taylor and the team would part ways at that time, the stars would eventually align so that it wouldn't be their last encounter. "We followed each other on Instagram and throughout that, I would just continue to share the work and to be a fan, you know, and I just continued to support the whole brand itself."
Managing Her Growth
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Taylor's business journey started the way most millennial entrepreneurial success stories do: in the DMs.
One year later, Taylor was contacted by ESSENCE to be one of two photographers for their Fashion Editorial Department. She also reconnected with Lauren Ash of Black Girl In Om and photographed her during her weekend there. Talk about a full circle moment. Only a year before, Taylor was taking photographs and attending events for fun at ESSENCE and now she was working the event -- her dreams were literally coming to life. She told xoNecole, "Manifestation is real. When you tap into that magic, it's just really incredible. It's really about visualizing yourself manifesting that dream because as soon as you believe in yourself and believe that it can happen, it really can happen."
"Manifestation is real. When you tap into that magic, it's just really incredible. It's really about visualizing yourself manifesting that dream because as soon as you believe in yourself and believe that it can happen, it really can happen."
In 2019, Taylor ultimately made the decision to leave her job as a non-profit project manager and pursue her freelance career full-time in Atlanta, where she would later develop her brand and continue to link with industry giants like ESSENCE and even shoot the Tyler Perry Studios Red Carpet Premiere, but she didn't pull off this major act of manifestation without getting her business plan all the way in alignment.
Serendipity is real, sis, and Taylor wants you to stay ready so that when the right opportunity arises, you won't have to get ready. For up-and-coming photographers who want to turn their passion into a career, she suggested, "Shoot as much as you can and get as much quality work out there as possible. It's not about posting everything that you do, it's about posting the quality work and making it so that brands and customers see the value of working with you."
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Freelancing isn't for the faint of heart but for Taylor, an effective morning routine is one of the things that helps her keep her mental in tact. From a 4-5-minute weekday meditation to a devotional by Iyanla Vanzant, feeding her spirit daily is a powerful element in her life. According to Taylor, intention-setting is important for each and every month. When she sets a goal, creating systems that help build the goals into her life is important to her.
When it comes to productivity, Taylor believes time management is an entrepreneur's best friend. During our chat, Taylor also opened up about how having themed days of the week and automated client responses has kept her workload organized AF. Case in point, Money Mondays involve observing projected income for the week and accessing whether or not to look for more work in the week ahead, while Tuesday's theme is marketing and copy.
"I figure out what I'm going to write about on my website and my Instagram," she explained. "I've found that when you're consistent, you can definitely see the results. I used to post sporadically on Instagram, but now that I'm focusing in on a specific audience and reaching a specific group of women, it's been really important for me to take the time to devote to what I put on my Instagram. I'm trying to be a lot more intentional about what I put out."
She dedicates the last day of the workweek to photo design, editing, and learning because every entrepreneur should be a student. "Learning is self-care for me because personal development for me is, really important I feel like as humans we can tap into so much more potential just by learning more and more."
"Learning is self-care for me because personal development for me is, really important I feel like as humans we can tap into so much more potential just by learning more and more."
Reaping Her Coins
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Now that Taylor has an established career as a freelance photographer in Atlanta making a living strictly from the art, she can confirm that the leap of faith she took to leave her both her hometown and her job was definitely a step in the right direction.
Although Taylor's journey to entrepreneurial freedom hasn't been easy, it has certainly been worth it, and she had this advice for freelancers on the come-up, "One thing that's really important for me, and I feel like for any entrepreneurs, [is] to try to find ways to build more than one stream of income. That's what I'm working on right now is just figuring what other ways can I continue to make income."
Along with creating multiple streams of income, Taylor emphasized that leveling up your negotiation game can give you a major boost when it comes to securing a bag. She explained, "Learning different skill sets, like negotiating contracts, finding a lawyer, finding an accountant, all of that is extremely, extremely important. It's going to help when you do approach these brands and these companies that have all of these rules. It's going to help you understand that you can ask for something different than what they're telling you."
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"Learning different skillsets, like negotiating contracts, finding a lawyer, finding an accountant, all of that is extremely, extremely important. And then it's going to help when you do approach these brands and these companies that have all of these rules. It's going to help you understand that you can ask for something different than what they're telling you."
"I think when you freelance, you get so caught up in, OK, I'm just trying to grind and make the money that, anything you get, you're so grateful for, but then you look at a contract, and you're like, 'I don't know if this really benefits me.' All of that needs to be so thought-out," Taylor explained. "I think for a lot of creatives, it's hard to think that far—you're like, I just want to take pictures, I just love creating art. But what's really going to help you excel is when you know how to talk that talk on that business side."
For more Taylor, follow her on Instagram @GoldenTimeTay!
Taylor's Freelance Photography Arsenal:
Gear:
Favorite Camera:Canon 5D Mark III
Favorite Lens:35mm
Essential Lenses:30mm lens, 50mm lens (great for portraits and photographers starting out), 24-70mm lens (great for shooting events)
Just In Case: An External Flash
Admin:
Featured image by Terrence Porter.
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That’s why, when one couple came to me and asked what was something that they could do to light the fire (pun intended) in their own bedroom, the first thing that I asked was if they had ever tried wax play before. You should’ve seen the expression on their faces. LOL.
When it comes to things like that, I think that it’s still taboo for some, simply because they’ve only seen it on a movie screen or heard about it in true extreme sexual contexts — and so, they don’t think that it’s something that is “for them” when, the reality is, with the right tips in tow, wax play can be for pretty much anyone…and everyone.
So today, let’s add something new to some of y’all’s boudoir list of activities. Here are 10 things that will, hopefully, help you to see the flames of wax play (I’ve got puns all over the place today) in a whole new light.
1. Anticipation Does Wonders for Sexual Arousal
GiphyI once read an article by a mental health expert who said that anticipation is probably the greatest aphrodisiac of all. It builds excitement. It fuels curiosity. At the end of the day, it’s like a mental form of edging because you’re getting close to something that you look forward to — although you’re not quite there yet. Listen, he’s not off base because even science says that anticipation can give you a dopamine hit that can ultimately improve your sexual experiences.
Keeping this point in mind, how can watching hot wax drip from a candle and head toward your body not fuel some level of anticipation? Especially if it’s your first few times trying it? A woman by the name of Ana Monnar once said, “Anticipation is sometimes more exciting than actual events.” Just something to consider, when it comes to entertaining bringing wax play into your world, my dear.
2. Wax Play Is Peak-Level Foreplay
GiphyWe all know what foreplay is, right? Just to be sure that we’re all on the same page, a very basic definition is it’s something that typically happens right before sex in order to arouse the people who are about to have it. And since foreplay is pretty much the prelude to copulation, it’s important that “the appetizer” is damn near as good as the “main course.” Wax play can help to ensure that because, aside from what I just said about anticipation, it can also help you and your partner tap into your more sensual and seductive sides. It’s hot. It requires being mindful. And since so much give and take is involved, it requires both people to be very into the moment. Lawd. Wax play is sexy to even just think about!
3. Temperature Pleasure Is Lots of Fun
GiphyOkay, say that you’ve never played with wax (in this way) before. Have you ever incorporated ice cubes? I ain’t gonna let y’all get ALL up in my business, so…let me just say (for now) that some ice during oral sex ain’t neva hurt nobody…quite the contrary! There’s something about the unexpected cool that mixes around with the warmth of a mouth that is truly unmatched. Along these same lines, wax play brings in the heat and, what makes temperature pleasure/play so awesome is, that it uses the sensations of different temperatures to bring out different forms of stimulation.
Another thing that’s worth noting about temperature pleasure is if you’re someone who considers yourself to be on the sexually conservative side yet you do like this type of activity, whether you realize it or not, you’re low-key participating in a form of kink (yep!). This brings me to my next point.
4. Wax Play Is an Introduction to Kink
GiphyIt’s kind of interesting how some people clam up at the thought of a (sexual) kink when the reality is, at the end of the day, it’s about having a certain type of sexual experience (as opposed to a fetish that focuses on objects or body parts; like a foot fetish, for example). So, if it’s that simple, why does it intimidate a lot of folks? Well, kinks tend to delve into people’s fantasies or unconventional ways of thinking (like BDSM or voyeurism).
At the same time, the cool thing about kinks is you control how deep you want to go. Just know that if you do participate in wax play, there’s no point in turning up your nose to the whole kink thing; wax play technically qualifies.
5. Soy Does One Thing. Paraffin Does Another.
GiphyOkay, so let’s spend a couple of moments talking about the things that you need to get the most out of your wax play experience. First, please don’t be out here imitating movies. While they will have you believing that you should pull a taper candle from your dining room table and go ham with it, it’s best to go with massage candles; they are specifically designed for wax play and body massages (The Knot has a recommendation list here and Women’s Health has a list of their own here).
When it comes to candles, in general, I’m always a fan of soy because they burn cleaner and last longer. However, when it comes to wax play, two other reasons why soy is best is it’s natural and “burns lower;” this simply means that once the wax hits your body, it won’t be as hot as, say, paraffin wax will (because it has a higher burning point).
What all of this means is if you want a more comfortable experience, go with a soy (or even a shea butter or beeswax) candle. If you want to play with the big (wax play) kids, try paraffin.
Oh, and if you’re wondering if you can never use “regular” candles — I mean, it’s your body. All I’m saying is some candles are designed for wax play; birthday candles? They are not. Feel me?
6. Massage Candles Feel Incredible on Your Muscles and Joints
GiphySo, here’s the thing about massage candles: If you’ve ever had a professional massage before, your massage therapist may have used them. And if you’ve gotten a high-end mani/pedi, some paraffin wax may have come into play (no pun intended). That’s because the wax from both types of candles has health benefits that include relaxing muscles, improving joint mobility, and increasing blood flow throughout the body. And when you factor in the fact that the better you physically feel before sex, the better sex will be during it — isn’t that just one more plus for and perk of wax play? I definitely think so.
7. The Aromatherapy Is Incomparable
GiphySomething else that’s awesome about most massage candles is they have a wonderfully alluring scent to them, by design. Yes, that matters too because there is plenty of data out here to support the fact that aromatherapy does everything from reduce stress and relieve bodily discomfort to treat headaches and fight off infections (word on the street is that it may even help with menstrual cramps and menopause).
As far as your sex life goes, aromatherapy is supreme because certain essential oils double up as aphrodisiacs. Lavender, neroli, and rose are proven to improve your sexual function. Geranium reduces anxiety. And listen, if climaxing is your ultimate goal, check out “Ultimate Climax Hack? 10 Scents That Make It So Much Easier To Orgasm” and then look for massage oils that smell like, say, vanilla, saffron or jasmine. Bottom line, a good massage candle that smells amazing is going to be worth every cent that you spent to purchase it.
8. You Will Learn Communication (and Dirty Talk) on a Whole ‘Nother Level
GiphyOne of the reasons why I once penned, “Are You Ready To Apply Your Love Language To Your Sex Life?” for the platform is because, if there’s one thing that I think is so awesome about sex, is it finds a way to incorporate all five of your senses (sight, touch, taste, sound and hearing) as well as your top love languages (words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch and gifts — if you’re open to it).
And when it comes to hearing (and words of affirmation), this is another area where wax play can be a winner because, as you’re learning what works for your partner and they learn what works for you, words have to be exchanged… perhaps even dirty ones.
And why is dirty talk so damn effective? According to scientific research, it has the ability to activate your entire brain (the biggest sex organ that you have) and when this is going on while you’re being physically stimulated — chile, the sky truly is the limit!
9. Wax Play Is Completely Customizable
GiphyYou know back when I was talking about soy candles vs. paraffin ones? Something that I didn’t mention, by design at the time, is that, although I will forever be Team Massage Candles when it comes to this particular topic, there are some known as wax play candles too. What’s the difference? Wax play candles tend to remain pretty hard (after being lit up) while massage candles are designed to melt into a liquid that you can massage on your partner’s body.
Why am I bringing this all up now? Well, it’s to serve as a reminder that wax play can be “dialed up” or “turned down” based on what you want to do. If you just want to put a twist on a massage, you can do that. If you’d like to test your partner’s tolerance level by applying more heat for longer, do that.
Just make sure that you use the kind of wax that doesn’t fully melt on shaved areas of the body (pretty sure why is self-explanatory), that you moisturize your skin beforehand (it’s easier to remove the wax…or whatever is leftover) that way and that you pour around 15-20 inches away from your partner’s body; that gives it time to cool somewhat on the way down. Oh, and if you don’t want to jack up your sheets, you might want to lay down a protective drop cloth (like this one here).
10. It Sure As Hell Ain’t Boring
Season 1 Friends GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyLast point — and it brings all of this full circle. Now that you’ve read all of the ways that wax play can benefit your sex life, how in the world could you associate it with “boring” on any level? Anything that can get you hype, cultivate eagerness, and enhance what you’ve already got going on…that is worth putting on your sex bucket list and trying at least one time, wouldn’t you say? And why can’t that time be…TONIGHT? Shoot your man a pick of a massage candle with a heart and watch him beat you home.
Then report back (with edits…LOL).
Something tells me that you’ll become a wax play fan — SOON.
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