Tamera Mowry-Housley may be a well-known actress, television host, and author, but her most tremendous success lies in being a mother to her two children.
Mowry-Housley is married to former journalist and entrepreneur Adam Housley. The couple, who have been together for almost two decades, share a son Aden Housley, 10, and an 8-year-old daughter Ariah Housley. Since becoming a parent, the Sister, Sister star has opened up about her journey to motherhood and how it has impacted her life.
The list includes learning to be patient, overcoming mom guilt, being vocal about the many experiences one may go through, and so much more. Below is a look at what Mowry-Housley has said about motherhood in various interviews and blog posts over the years.
Tamera On Patience
In a recent discussion with Ebony magazine, Mowry-Housley revealed that after becoming a first-time mother in 2011 with her son Aden and welcoming her daughter Ariah in 2015, she realized that not everything needs to go "by the book."
With that understanding, the 44-year-old has learned to be patient with herself and her children, especially as they go through milestones, because she acknowledges that, in life, it takes time and various avenues to accomplish a goal.
"Motherhood taught me patience, not only patience with my children but with myself. There are times when your children may be going through a milestone, and you start worrying, but eventually, they get through it. Everyone has their own journey, their own time," Mowry-Housley explained.
"We have to allow ourselves to be patient with ourselves. If you have a goal, if you are learning something new, be kind to yourself throughout the process. I never saw myself as a control freak, but I thought if I did A + B, I'd always get that C result, and that's not the case. You can get the same result by doing different things, so look for different avenues. It doesn't always need to be by the book or when it's 'supposed' to be."
Tamera On Mom Guilt
In the interview, the Double Wedding actress disclosed that women generally go through mom guilt because they "innately" want to help others before caring for themselves.
Further in the conversation, Mowry-Housley elaborated that in order for an individual to be a better person for those they love, they must practice self-care.
"It is hard. I mean, I feel like women in general, we innately always want to help others before we help ourselves. But self-care isn't selfish. It's actually a necessity because if you take care of yourself, you are a better friend, a better sister or better mom. You can't truly thrive if you're depleted. So you have to always remember to fill that cup,” she stated while mentioning the mantras she created for other women.
"I also created some mantras just to inspire moms out there to maybe, you know, spread, spread that love, spread that wisdom. Because once I became a mom, I realized the importance of community. And it does take a village. And one of those mantras is taking care of yourself, actually is taking care of others.
Mowry-Housley wrapped up her statement by saying that it's acceptable for a woman to "prioritize" herself, even if it is for "a moment," and should not feel guilty for putting themselves first.
Tamera On Why It Is Okay To Ask For Help
In 2015, while expecting her second child, Mowry-Housley shared with Yahoo Parenting that she learned it takes a "village" to raise well-rounded children after accepting help from others.
The Strong Medicine star revealed that following the birth of her son Aden, she wanted to be in "control" of everything, so much so that she didn't want her husband Adam assisting her in anything she needed. Mowry-Housley stated that it quickly changed when she saw how exhausting it was.
"It takes a village. It was very hard for me to admit this in the beginning," she said. "I wanted all the control. I didn't even want help from my husband. Adam was like, Can I help? The moment you accept help, you find yourself happier. A child will benefit from a happy mom, not an exhausted one."
Tamera On Being Present
Since having her children, another thing Mowry-Housely has discovered is how to be present, something she admitted was slightly challenging to adjust to with her busy work schedule.
In honor of Mother's Day, Mowry-Housley uploaded a blog post on her website discussing how often she prioritized bonding with her children instead of focusing on her everyday responsibilities, such as cleaning and answering an email.
"My children have also taught me how to be present and in the moment, which is something that can be really hard to do when you are a working mom and have a lot of responsibility in your life," she wrote. "As a mom who can be a little OCD, my children have made me realize that it is okay to leave some dirty dishes in the sink for a while, or to not write that email right away, and to just live in the moment. I have learned that it is worth giving up a little control in my life, to be able to sit and watch a movie with them or just have time to bond."
Tamera On Why Parents Should Speak Up More About The Challenges They Experience When Raising Children
The last quote that Mowry-Housley shared regarding motherhood stems from parents opening up about the challenges they have experienced while raising their children.
In an essay written in She Knowsmagazine, the Twitches star explained that at the time when she and her husband Adam were potty training their son Aden, they noticed that the then 5-year-old was still wetting the bed. The concerned couple, who thought they were doing a good job at potty training, researched online to see if Aden's bed-wetting was a common issue among children his age.
Following the research, Mowry-Housley found out that bed-wetting was a part of the potty-training process. Upon the revelation, Mowry-Housley disclosed that if it weren't for others sharing their stories and past experiences, she wouldn't have known the solution to Aden's problems and would have felt she was the only person going through it.
"I wish more parents knew that you aren't ever alone, and when you speak up about a challenge, in fact, you're probably saying exactly what someone else needed to hear in that moment," she wrote while encouraging others to be more open about their parenting journey.
"When we open up and support each other, whether that's on social media or IRL, we're always better for it. So no matter what your child is experiencing, I always encourage people to speak up and get real — because chances are, you'll find people with just the information, resources, and inspiration you and your family need."
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Feature image by Jesse Grant/Getty Images for Disney
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32-year-old social media influencer and mother of five, Ariel B, did not set out to tell her story; but it was her truth that set her free. Her truth is also the inspiration for her new podcast "This Too Shall Pass," produced by Idea To Launch Productions. The podcast delves into Ariel's life and journey as a single parent and a domestic violence survivor. But it also serves as a window into her past traumas that have fostered her resilience.
In an exclusive interview with xoNecole, Ariel B. reveals that her online following grew after she decided to share the realistic, non-curated parts of her life on social media at the advice of her therapist. "Growing up, I was taught to hide things that made you seem less than," she says. "I didn't mind speaking at the shelter for women and children. I didn't mind speaking in my domestic violence group with other women, but I was ashamed to talk about it with people that I felt had a perfect life. So [my therapist] said 'No, you need to get used to telling your story. If you don't like it or you feel some kind of way, just delete it.' I started first on Instagram, and that was probably the first time I dipped my toe in the social media world of telling the truth."
Ariel's followers became inspired by her honest and raw day-in-the-life perspective: the days when she would be over her budget, her kids' rooms wouldn't be the tidiest, or when she'd be running late for pick-ups and drop-offs. Her relatability made single mothers everywhere feel seen, but there's much more to life Ariel's story that she's found the bravery to open up about.
The Florida native had her first child when she was 16 years old. Growing up in a middle-class suburban family, she says she felt judged by family and peers for having children out of wedlock. "I already had two kids before I got married," she says. "And when I got married, I think that was my parents' sigh of relief. Like, oh my gosh, she's finally married. She's not a single mother of two. She should be safe. It was a disaster."
Ariel says marriage was great in the beginning. Her ex-husband presented himself as loving and was a proud stepfather to her two children. After welcoming two more children with her ex-husband, she says that's when the problems started. "We were arguing all the time. The finances were bad. And then it got to the point where he was consuming a lot of alcohol all the time," she says. "And when the alcohol got bad, it got physical. I was embarrassed. I just invited all of my family to this wedding and everyone's so happy that I'm married, but I'm miserable."
Ariel eventually filed for divorce, and was then forced to get a restraining order after her ex proceeded to stalk her. Though these frightening moments are behind her, she's working every day to address the residual trauma. "It was a lot of trauma to get where we are, and a lot to finally feel safe," she says. "But I just wanted to do whatever I had to do so my children wouldn't have to heal from a choice that I made."
It's clear that Ariel's adorable children, ranging from ages three to fifteen, are her biggest inspiration. She often posts videos of herself teaching them important life lessons like how to create a budget and maintain good credit. It's these important life skills that many of her followers said they wished they had learned growing up. For Ariel, her greatest goal is to fill up their self-love tank. "The world is going to knock you down enough when you get older," she says. "So if I can push them out there at a hundred percent if the world can only knock them down to 80, I'd be happy with that. But if they only go out there at 80 and the world can get them down to 60 or less than half of who they are, that's a problem for me."
When it comes to her new podcast, Ariel isn't afraid of the judgments that may come, both from loved ones and strangers. "When you tell the truth, there's nothing to hide from," she says. "I am a single mother of five. I do have more than one child's father. We are on a budget. And when I was able to just be honest, I think I wasn't shameful anymore. I didn't have to pretend and I was able to tell my truth out loud."
"This Too Shall Pass" is out now!