

From Mom Guilt To Asking For Help: 5 Times Tamera Mowry-Housley Kept It Real About Parenting
Tamera Mowry-Housley may be a well-known actress, television host, and author, but her most tremendous success lies in being a mother to her two children.
Mowry-Housley is married to former journalist and entrepreneur Adam Housley. The couple, who have been together for almost two decades, share a son Aden Housley, 10, and an 8-year-old daughter Ariah Housley. Since becoming a parent, the Sister, Sister star has opened up about her journey to motherhood and how it has impacted her life.
The list includes learning to be patient, overcoming mom guilt, being vocal about the many experiences one may go through, and so much more. Below is a look at what Mowry-Housley has said about motherhood in various interviews and blog posts over the years.
Tamera On Patience
In a recent discussion with Ebony magazine, Mowry-Housley revealed that after becoming a first-time mother in 2011 with her son Aden and welcoming her daughter Ariah in 2015, she realized that not everything needs to go "by the book."
With that understanding, the 44-year-old has learned to be patient with herself and her children, especially as they go through milestones, because she acknowledges that, in life, it takes time and various avenues to accomplish a goal.
"Motherhood taught me patience, not only patience with my children but with myself. There are times when your children may be going through a milestone, and you start worrying, but eventually, they get through it. Everyone has their own journey, their own time," Mowry-Housley explained.
"We have to allow ourselves to be patient with ourselves. If you have a goal, if you are learning something new, be kind to yourself throughout the process. I never saw myself as a control freak, but I thought if I did A + B, I'd always get that C result, and that's not the case. You can get the same result by doing different things, so look for different avenues. It doesn't always need to be by the book or when it's 'supposed' to be."
Tamera On Mom Guilt
At the same time, while talking toParade magazine, Mowry-Housley shed light on mom guilt struggles and the importance of self-care.
In the interview, the Double Wedding actress disclosed that women generally go through mom guilt because they "innately" want to help others before caring for themselves.
Further in the conversation, Mowry-Housley elaborated that in order for an individual to be a better person for those they love, they must practice self-care.
"It is hard. I mean, I feel like women in general, we innately always want to help others before we help ourselves. But self-care isn't selfish. It's actually a necessity because if you take care of yourself, you are a better friend, a better sister or better mom. You can't truly thrive if you're depleted. So you have to always remember to fill that cup,” she stated while mentioning the mantras she created for other women.
"I also created some mantras just to inspire moms out there to maybe, you know, spread, spread that love, spread that wisdom. Because once I became a mom, I realized the importance of community. And it does take a village. And one of those mantras is taking care of yourself, actually is taking care of others.
Mowry-Housley wrapped up her statement by saying that it's acceptable for a woman to "prioritize" herself, even if it is for "a moment," and should not feel guilty for putting themselves first.
Tamera On Why It Is Okay To Ask For Help
In 2015, while expecting her second child, Mowry-Housley shared with Yahoo Parenting that she learned it takes a "village" to raise well-rounded children after accepting help from others.
The Strong Medicine star revealed that following the birth of her son Aden, she wanted to be in "control" of everything, so much so that she didn't want her husband Adam assisting her in anything she needed. Mowry-Housley stated that it quickly changed when she saw how exhausting it was.
"It takes a village. It was very hard for me to admit this in the beginning," she said. "I wanted all the control. I didn't even want help from my husband. Adam was like, Can I help? The moment you accept help, you find yourself happier. A child will benefit from a happy mom, not an exhausted one."
Tamera On Being Present
Since having her children, another thing Mowry-Housely has discovered is how to be present, something she admitted was slightly challenging to adjust to with her busy work schedule.
In honor of Mother's Day, Mowry-Housley uploaded a blog post on her website discussing how often she prioritized bonding with her children instead of focusing on her everyday responsibilities, such as cleaning and answering an email.
"My children have also taught me how to be present and in the moment, which is something that can be really hard to do when you are a working mom and have a lot of responsibility in your life," she wrote. "As a mom who can be a little OCD, my children have made me realize that it is okay to leave some dirty dishes in the sink for a while, or to not write that email right away, and to just live in the moment. I have learned that it is worth giving up a little control in my life, to be able to sit and watch a movie with them or just have time to bond."
Tamera On Why Parents Should Speak Up More About The Challenges They Experience When Raising Children
The last quote that Mowry-Housley shared regarding motherhood stems from parents opening up about the challenges they have experienced while raising their children.
In an essay written in She Knowsmagazine, the Twitches star explained that at the time when she and her husband Adam were potty training their son Aden, they noticed that the then 5-year-old was still wetting the bed. The concerned couple, who thought they were doing a good job at potty training, researched online to see if Aden's bed-wetting was a common issue among children his age.
Following the research, Mowry-Housley found out that bed-wetting was a part of the potty-training process. Upon the revelation, Mowry-Housley disclosed that if it weren't for others sharing their stories and past experiences, she wouldn't have known the solution to Aden's problems and would have felt she was the only person going through it.
"I wish more parents knew that you aren't ever alone, and when you speak up about a challenge, in fact, you're probably saying exactly what someone else needed to hear in that moment," she wrote while encouraging others to be more open about their parenting journey.
"When we open up and support each other, whether that's on social media or IRL, we're always better for it. So no matter what your child is experiencing, I always encourage people to speak up and get real — because chances are, you'll find people with just the information, resources, and inspiration you and your family need."
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September is National Self-Care Awareness Month, so for my girlies who have been putting off self-care, here’s your opportunity to start. Self-care means exactly what it says: taking care of self. Why is it important? Well, many of us have busy lives that may include careers, family, and activities that consume us daily. Taking some time for self regularly can help prevent depression, stress, anxiety, and burnout.
In February 2023, Future Forum polled 10,243 people in six countries, including the U.S., and 40% said they are experiencing burnout, and 46% of that number are women. According to CNBC, many factors contributing to burnout include companies demanding employees return to the office, hiring freezes, and layoffs.
Psychologist Debbie Sorensen explained to CNBC why women and millennials are experiencing burnout in higher numbers. “We haven’t had time to recover from the trauma of what we’ve been through the last few years,” she said. “Women and young people, in particular, are putting an immense amount of pressure on themselves to keep going, keep working, no matter the cost.”
As women, particularly Black women, we tend to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. Other people's problems become our problems, and then we are expected to show up to work and show up for our family and friends with a smile on our faces. Whew, chile! What if we are having a bad day? How are we supposed to cope if we have to be everything to everyone? Well, here’s your sign to make time for yourself, especially on the days when you are feeling down.
Below is a list of self-care ideas for when you are having a bad day.
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Spend time in nature
Sometimes something as simple as surrounding yourself with trees, grass, and/ or water can improve your mood exponentially. The American Psychological Association’s (APA) research shows that spending time in nature can improve attention, lower stress, and reduce the risk of psychiatric disorders.
Got to a Spa
There’s nothing like going to a spa. You can relax in a sauna, get a massage, and just be. According to research, massages help release serotonin and dopamine, which are often referred to as “feel good” hormones, that will instantly perk you up and have you going about your day with a smile on your face.
Get Artsy
When was the last time you did arts and crafts? Drawing a picture, painting, or even coloring can help you discover your inner child, thus boosting your mood. Purchase an adult coloring book, or go to a paint-and-sip class by yourself, or you can make it a group activity and bring your besties.
Look your best
The old saying, “When you look good, you feel good,” didn’t just come out of thin air. There’s some truth to it. The Kentucky Counseling Center shared a link between self-care and feeling good. “Self-care regimens are extremely important not just to stabilize your day but to make you feel great. Simple things like getting a facial, taking care of your hair done, or exercising can make you confident because when you look good, you also feel good,” according to its website.
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Breathwork
There’s a reason why it is suggested that you breathe when you begin feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. Breathing brings oxygen back into your body, and WebMD reports that it can decrease the fight or flight response that happens when you are stressed.
Spend time with babies
I don’t know about you, but nothing makes me smile quicker than a baby, especially a smiling baby. If you’re the same way, then spending time with a baby or babies may help put you in a better mood, too.
Do nothing
Last but certainly not least, do nothing. There’s nothing like laying in your bed and not being forced to do anything. Stay in this moment and use this time to relax and replenish your energy.
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