Two of the most talented people in the world recently celebrated their 11th wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe singer/songwriter extraordinaire, Alicia Keys, and superstar producer, Swizz Beatz, were wedded over a decade ago even though they have proven to be made for one another. To celebrate their bliss, they went on a 72-hour date that included a trip back to the house where their wedding was held. In Swizz's words, "Time goes by fast make every moment count." There's something so whimsical about the joining of two souls when they are icons separately and a force together.
On their anniversary, Alicia shared the sweetest words saying that she and Swizz are deeper than soulmates, they are twin flames. By definition, a twin flame is someone you have an incredibly intense soul connection with. Think "mirror to your soul."
Deeper Than Soulmates
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We all swooned when reading Alicia's caption honoring their vows on Instagram. Their love is real and we appreciate the authenticity of it all. Do you know how deep it is to say that someone is your soul's mirror? That's deep, deep. It's evident that their souls are made up of the same abundance and how beautiful is it that Alicia and Swizz found that kind of love when they found each other.
Alicia Keys & Swizz Beatz's Relationship History
Their love story didn't begin like a fairy tale. The two met as teenagers during a music project trip to Egypt. Alicia's first impression of Swizz was far from love at first sight. In 2013, she told Marie Claire, "Honestly, I didn't really like him that much. I thought he was too ostentatious." She went on to say:
"Swizz will have the fastest car, the biggest jewelry, the loudest jacket. Everything with him is really over the top. I used to see him and think, 'He is so annoying.'"
Once the Grammy-winning artist started seeing the rapper in a different light, this began the lovers' controversial journey. It's no secret that Swizz was still married to his first wife, Mashonda Tifrere, when rumors started swirling about his relationship with Alicia in 2008. Before we knew it, Mashonda told the world via Twitter that Alicia was "destroying her family." Swizz had a different perspective; he and Mashonda were separated. Chile, the whole situation was messy because there was also word that he had been having multiple affairs.
Despite all the schadenfreude, Alicia kept "Fallin" for Swizz and became the poster child for "I'mma stick beside him!" In 2010, Swizz proposed and the couple tied the knot just two months after the engagement. Together, they share two children, Genesis and Egypt. And they have also found a way to be one big happy blended family with Mashonda. The three superstars have noted that it took lots of time and prayers to make it on their love roller coaster. During an ABC Nightline special, Alicia shared:
"We love each other. We hang out with each other. We go to dinner together. Our family is one big, beautiful family... It is a beautiful partnership. I'm very, very proud of that. It's a real thing, and it's possible."
Mashonda even asked the wedded couple to help her with her book, Blend: The Secret to Co-Parenting and Creating a Balanced Family, a guide to creating an environment for kids rooted in happiness and health.
Today, you see a strong, loving husband and wife because they have really done the work. We pray their love gets stronger and stronger and make it another 11 years and another 11 years after that. To keep the lovefest going, keep reading for some of the sweetest quotes on their love.
Alicia on meeting Swizz after their initial introduction:
"The more we talked the more I noticed how his mind worked. Beyond the baggy jeans and arm tats there was depth. He was so aware of what was happening around the world."
Alicia on being his canvas:
"Later, stroke by stroke in the shadows of dusk, he turned me into his masterpiece, covering me in swirls of yellows, reds and purples. Never have I experienced anything more sensual. Which is why, when I missed my period a few weeks later, I wasn't exactly surprised. As that winter gave way to spring, we relished two pleasures: the engagement and the pregnancy."
Alicia to Swizz on their love:
"One of the best secrets is that we're friends. Best friends. We actually listen to each other and share with each other and are thoughtful about how the other feels."
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Featured image by Steve Granitz/WireImage
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Chalk it up to naivety or simply the hopeful romantic in me, but love never seemed like a distant concept to me. Sure there were tough lessons I had to learn and breakups that I needed healing from, but the hope of finding that special someone still remained. Yet, in my reflections, I couldn’t help but wonder why I kept meeting men who seemed good enough for the moment but would be better had we met at another time.
That is, until I considered one fated component of my dating life that was simply out of my control: and that was time.
When you can’t make sense of things on your own, the TikTok algorithm has a way of leading you to the answers you’re seeking. And during a recent scroll, I stumbled upon a thread of women echoing the sentiment that “men marry the woman in front of them, at the time they are ready to be married” — but could this be the root of my dilemma?
This notion, known as the "Cab Light Theory" is a concept that was introduced in the hit TV series Sex and the City. In the scene, lawyer Miranda Hobbes suggested that men are like taxis - when they're available, their "cab light" is on, and when they're not, it's off. “When they’re available, their light goes on. They wake up one day and decide they’re ready to settle down, have babies, whatever, and they turn their light on. The next woman they pick up — boom! That’s the woman they marry. It’s not fate. It’s dumb luck,” she tells her group of friends in the ladies' room.
GiphyThe theory is that men are ready and willing to pursue a romantic relationship when they're emotionally available and interested (light on), and if they’re not, well, it’s on to the next pick-up they go (light off). While men are not modes of transportation, there is a point to be made about how a passing notion in a TV series from the start of the millennium could still hold some truth today.
In the original video shared by creator Tay Talks, her take on the “Cab Light Theory” implied that men aren’t necessarily marrying their soulmate or even the love of their life, instead, “it was just the girl he was dating at the time he was ready to get married and settle down.” The “dumb luck” that Miranda Hobbes was referring to in the show is the chance encounter that a woman would find a man who is both financially sound and emotionally available enough to stop his dating pursuits and commit to one woman forever.
But as dating trends shift with new social and economic factors at play, how could it be that more “lights” aren’t going off for men?
In an illuminating piece by Psychology Today, men are more lonely than they’ve been in decades and their soil for choice isn’t helping. The article shared that dating apps drive new connections but have a gender imbalance, with 62% of users being men. And with women becoming increasingly more selective in preferring emotionally available men who share their values, men are now facing a relationship skills gap that can lead to fewer opportunities for long-term partnership if growth, healing, and deeper emotional intelligence are not achieved.
While it’s easy to oversimplify the headaches and frustrations that come with modern dating, we can’t forget that while timing does play a factor in us finding “the one,” we also have the power of choice within our grasp. Men and women both need time to heal, grow, and discover themselves on a deeper level — so would we really want to “jump in the cab” of someone who hasn’t gone through that process already?
Since love is one of those forces that we can’t just make happen a the snap of our fingers, it can be easy to fix a blanket theory into the reason behind our singleness, but it’s important to remember that we can choose to pursue other candidates who date with openness and desire for commitment rather than waiting until someone’s light hastily cuts on.
While love can be sublime it shouldn’t be random. And when love finds us, we shouldn’t have the question in the back of our mind whether we were the best our man could do at the time. We deserve to be sure.
So yes, the “cab light theory” is a cheeky concept that prompts us to appreciate the timing of our love life, but it should also remind us that alignment is everything.
Because the real question is: was his light not on, or was he simply not the one?
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