A Summer Style Guide For Your Last-Minute Vacations
The season I look forward to the most every year is Resort. Even if you haven't had an opportunity to enjoy a proper getaway this season, now is the time to get your last-minute plans in order as the final moments of summer quickly come to an end. While you can always find a sunny destination to travel any time of the year, this is the perfect time to take advantage of the final warm weather looks before fall inventory completely takes over.
Whether you're far from home or planning the perfect staycation, a getaway is an escape from your everyday life no matter how many miles from home. Not only is it important to take a break from our daily routines as a practice of self-care but perfecting your vacation style is just as important as the trip itself. Packing can be stressful so we're here to give you a head start on the hottest trends to wrap up your summer slaycations.
Sunscreen
First thing first, sunscreen is the main essential for a hot girl summer. When the sun's out, protect your skin with a layer of sunscreen to assist a healthy glow. I love Black Girl Sunscreen due to the cruelty-free ingredients that prevent that annoying white cast and boost radiant skin. Find this item at your local Target or Ulta.com!
Sun Hat/Visor
A major accent adding style to any vacation look is a straw hat. The perfect design can instantly elevate your poolside ensemble, adding a pop of chic to any warm weather look. Pair with a full ensemble or a bikini with a chunky necklace to give this key accessory even more life.
Slides
I love a good pair of slides. Finding a sleek contrasting platform slide to add to a beach side look is not only a comfortable choice but also a super chic and modern. Dress them up or down, for a chill vacation look.
Dad Shirt
A dad shirt can go a long way on or off the beach. Layered over your favorite swimwear, a button-down is a popular alternative to a classic cover-up. Mix it up with different color combinations for a contrasting bright and fashion forward look.
The Statement Maxi Dress
Every now and then we gotta go in the back of that closet and pull out that freakum dress, even on vacation. No matter the occasion, there's always a good chance that you'll need a sexy maxi for a cute celebratory dinner. A backless maxi adds sass while keeping it classy with a pop of skin. For an even trendier look, try a bold print with this classic style.
Shell Jewelry
The latest summer jewelry trend taking over the runways down to our social media feed is shell jewelry. This dainty design is perfect for a tropical vacation layered with your favorite gold chains. The perfect stackable accessory is a fun addition to your favorite bikinis. Where it as a necklace or belly chain to maximize your beaded options.
Crochet Set
No longer your grandmother's favorite hobby, crotchet is making a huge comeback. This two piece set is a sleek ensemble perfect for a casual beach stroll or a night out on the town. Pair with a flat open toe sandal for a comfortable yet eye-catching look.
The Jumpsuit
You can never go wrong with a one piece jumpsuit. An easy look to throw on and catch up with the group festivities, add a belt for a snatched waist line along with your go-to accessories. Pair with a sandal or sneaker for a cute and casual look, or a high heel for a grown and sexy moment.
Featured image by Getty Images
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images
