These Are The Micro Trends To Get You Through Summer
Summer is finally here and we're seeing the latest in this season's biggest trends exploding everywhere. Excitedly exiting the cold and gloomy winter months, fashion girls everywhere are taking advantage of the coolest new and re-emerging styles for the warm weather season. With there being much anticipation to finally be outside after a year and a half, I've seen so many new and refreshing styles to add to my closet in anticipation of a stylish summer like never before.
Breaking free from oversized knits and sweatpants, I'm longing to engage in wild prints, bright colors and enticing looks as I just want to have fun with my outfits again.
From psychedelic prints to wide leg denim jeans, this summer is all about breaking out and going bold even if it's an occasion that calls for a cute yet casual moment. With there being so many styles worth talking about, scroll to find both classic and trendy items worth adding to your summer wardrobe below.
1.The Designer Shoulder Bag
Every stylish girl needs a designer shoulder bag in her life and Coach is the perfect starter brand. As the company makes a major comeback, their newly released styles are modern with a vintage flair. For a designer bag with an affordable price tag, this Coach pillow bag is a go-to bag for summer.
2."Boy" Shorts
Oversized shorts made their first appearance early last year during the first round of quarantine but now that we're back outside, pair them with chunky socks, sneakers and a cute crop top and you've got a comfy cool girl look for a casual summer day. For an easy on the go look, add a dainty hoop earring along with stackable rings and layered necklaces for a feminine touch.
3.The 90’s Jean
High-waist denim is a classic style that is here to stay but it's the wide leg trend that is making its way back into our lives this summer. The wider the leg, the more stylish the silhouette. From white to blue denim, add a variety of washes to your closet this season.
4.The Updated Maxi
A maxi dress should be on top of every wish list this summer but it's the style of dress that matters most. This year's asymmetrical trend is adding major appeal to all types of clothing styles and this dress is one of my faves so far! Casually paired with a flat or high-heeled sandal, this is a perfect look to compliment a beautiful warm sunny day.
5.The Oversized Button Down
Always essential no matter the season, an oversized button down is a stylishly lightweight addition everyone needs in our wardrobe. Easily tossed over a casual look, a classic white button down is a girl's best friend. What I love about a button down is the variety of colors, prints and lengths to add to your wardrobe mix.
6.Oversized Blazer
Another must-have in your closet is an oversized blazer. For summer, I strongly suggest a lightweight soft light pastel or brightly colored option paired with a stylish crop top. A blazer is a must-have every season, but it's the color that matters most this time of year.
7.A Matching Set
One of my favorite trends this season, big bold prints are the micro trend we never knew we needed. There's something about this head to toe print-heavy look that genuinely makes me happy. Keep an eye on matching sets in different colors, prints and materials for a variety of looks to choose from.
8.Abstract Prints
Transitioning from tie dye to water colors, this season's newest color mix is the abstract multicolored print. There's no question when adding a standout swim piece to your wardrobe this summer created but when in a retro-inspired multicolored print, it's a match made in paradise. Playful prints are huge this summer, so adding a few pieces to your wardrobe this season for a modern yet vintage is a psychedelic trip you won't regret.
9.Colorful Sunglasses
Colorful frames are having a major comeback this season. It's been a while since I've had the urge to match my sunglasses with my outfit but I'm on the hunt for a range of vibrant shades that will effortlessly brighten up my everyday life. We're adding color to our wardrobes from our head to our toes this season.
10.Platform Slides
My favorite shoe style for summer, the platform thong sandal is the chicest look of them all. I can't get enough of the elevated look, and how it takes an everyday casual look to new heights. With a variety of colors to choose from, these sandals can be worn with pretty much anything.
To get your fashion fix and to stay up to date with the latest trends, check out the xoNecole Style section here.
Featured image via @aniyamorinia/Instagram
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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You'd Be Amazed How Much This One Thing Can Keep You Out Of Divorce Court
I truly can’t believe that it was almost five freakin’ years ago that I penned “Why I'll Never Call Someone A 'Boyfriend' Again” for this platform. Now that I’m in the thick of writing my third book (due out later this year) and I’m revisiting this declaration, I am standing firm on it more than ever. There are no boyfriends in the Bible. Your taxes couldn’t care less if you have a boyfriend (some of y’all will catch that later). And acting like you’re married while having a boyfriend when you’re actually not? That is so hella counterproductive — on a myriad of different levels.
Yeah, the longer I live, the more folks I counsel, and the more that I observe humanity; in general, I honestly believe that this culture and how it dates, it teaches people how to divorce, not marry. “Fall in love,” place marriage rules in the dynamic, break up…rinse, and repeat. Then, by the time you actually do say marital vows to someone (which are serious, y’all), you don’t even really mean them or get the weight of them because you’re processing them as barely a step up from whatever you and your last three boyfriends promised to each other.
It's so countercultural to talk about relationships from this angle — and that is why I am hypervigilant about doing all that I can to keep married folks from calling it quits. Because what the Bible does say is covenant-keeping is very serious (Malachi 2:16, Matthew 19:1-12, I Corinthians 7:10-11, Ephesians 5:22-33), the reality is that divorces can be costly on every level, and, reportedly, about half of people who do divorce, on some level, end up regretting it (check out “What Some People Regret About Their Divorce”). So, if we can keep the ending of marriages to a minimum (or at least try), shouldn’t we?
With all of this said, in walks something that I personally found to be pretty interesting. Apparently, after a whopping 40,000 couples were researched, with 94 percent accuracy, there is one thing that could predict if they would divorce. Or not. Are you ready to read what it is?
Did You Know There Is Such a Thing As “The Four Horsemen” in a Marriage?
GiphyIt never fails. Whenever I’m having a conversation with a couple who is seriously contemplating marriage, one thing that they will ask me is if there’s a way to ensure that they won’t get a divorce. I mean, if two people decide to not divorce, they won’t. That’s another message for another time, though. For now, what I will say is when I read about what The Gottman Institute considers to be “The Four Horsemen” of poor communication styles in a marriage, I totally got where they were coming from.
And what are they? According to the institute, it’s criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Although the reality is that pretty much all humans struggle with these on some level, let me briefly explain what it means to be excessive with them.
- An overly critical person gives unsolicited advice that the person on the receiving end either doesn’t want or doesn’t find to be helpful at all. Still, the critical person gives it because they always seem to think that they know best — including when it comes to timing.
- A person who speaks with some level of contempt usually hits below the belt or is super disrespectful in their delivery. They don’t mind being very sarcastic, dismissive, mocking others, or calling them names (bookmark this one).
- A person who is hella defensive usually struggles with not taking what they dish out, they can’t receive advice unless it’s connected to praise, and they absolutely suck at personal accountability, which is why they deflect, make excuses, and justify their actions a lot.
- Stonewallers are individuals who hold grudges, are passive-aggressive, and refuse to communicate. Of the four, this one is typically seen as the most immature course of action.
And when you take all of these in and then factor in that poor communication (because if you argue a lot, your communication skills need work) continues to be one of the leading causes of divorce (although I do find it interesting that, as far as sources of conflict go, career choices then parenting styles and then the divvying up of household chores lead the pack), whether you want to get married, are newly married or have been married for a while now, keeping those four horsemen in mind, along with being real with yourself about where you succumb to communicating that way, all of this is definitely worth taking special note of.
Okay, but those are four things and the title of this article says that ONE thing, in particular, can help you to avoid divorce most of all. What is it? Well, as far as which one of the four is the most damning, many experts say that it’s contempt. I get why. I mean, who wants to be intimate with someone, on any level, if they are mean as hell? After all, no one signs up to be another person’s emotional punching bag. Marriage is supposed to be an emotional safe space; not a battlefield.
However, according to the married couple John Gottman, Ph.D. and Julie Gottman, Ph.D., the greatest predictor of divorce is something else (although the four horsemen are definitely a huge part of what can prevent what I’m about to say next from transpiring).
The One Thing That Just Might “Divorce-Proof” Your Marriage
GiphySo what could actually keep you out of divorce court if you take and then apply it seriously? The Gottmans call it “turning towards” your partner. And just what does that mean? In a nutshell, it’s being intentional about making sure that your partner feels both seen and heard.
Honestly, one of the best ways that you can do that is through your body language (check out “15 Relational Body Language Cues You Definitely Shouldn't Ignore”) because it’s already pretty rude for your partner to try and express how they feel and you turn your back towards them or even switch your energy away from them. No one wants to be dismissed like that. However, turning towards your partner means more than just that.
Turning towards your partner is all about fully engaging them. I’ll give you some examples:
When you’re turning towards your partner, you are applying compassion. For instance, if they had a hard day at work and they express to you what’s going on, you’re not so quick to give advice or criticize; instead, you acknowledge what they said and respond with things like, “I can see how that would make you feel. Anything I can do?”
When you’re turning towards your partner, you are open to what they are saying, even about you, that you might not like. For example, if they bring something up that you do that bothers them or hurts their feelings, you don’t get defensive or pull that “You do it too” mess; instead, you take the approach of, “Will you explain to me how that affects you to the point where you are upset by it?” and then you LISTEN FULLY (meaning without interruption) to their response.
When you’re turning towards your partner, you take the stance that Dr. Phil has become well-known for saying: “Do I want to be happy or do I want to be right?” You get that because your marriage isn’t just about you, you are willing to compromise, be flexible, and do what’s ultimately best for the relationship instead of only focusing on things going your way.
These are merely three examples of what it means to “turn towards” your partner, and according to the Gottmans, whenever you do that, you have an 86 percent chance of staying together instead of a 33 percent chance if you don’t.
And just how can you become a master at turning towards your partner if this is a concept that is completely new to you? Good question. When two people make the decision to share their lives, this means that they are choosing to meet each other’s needs. The only way that you can know what those are is by asking — not assuming, not presuming…asking. And then, once you know, discuss with your partner if you are meeting their needs in a way where they feel like their needs are actually being met.
And what does that mean? Listen, I can’t tell you how many times I have been in a session with a spouse who has told me that they are a good husband or wife, and then, when I ask their partner if they agree, all hell breaks loose. Yeah, you can’t be in a relationship with someone and have the only vote on whether you are good for them or not; they definitely get a say. And if you’re serious about “turning towards” your spouse, you’ll want to hear what they have to say about if you are both good to and for them — in both the big and smaller things.
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At the end of the day, if you want to avoid divorcing at all costs (and here’s hoping that you do), turning towards your partner is about expressing empathy. It’s about facing them, figuratively and literally, so that you can better understand them, support them, and share in their needs with them. Because when you sign up for marriage, that’s a huge part of what it means to be a married person.
Marriage: Riding through life together. Avoiding the four horsemen at all costs. Turning towards each other. Daily.
Amen.
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