How Successful Women Spend Their Weekends
It's no secret that the key to success lies in what we do on the weekends. You could spend it catching up on all things Shondaland or taking steps to get closer to your goal. Trust me, I'm all about balance, but it's how you spend your weekends that can determine when or if you'll accomplish the life that you want.
Related: Ashley Rouse Of Trade St. Jam Co. Shares Her Weekend, Her Way
From brunch to binging Netflix, these ladies have found the trick to having a successful weekend regimen that can make all the difference in the world for the rest of the week. I know I definitely took a few notes.
Jamaya Moore, Professional MUA
Courtesy of Jamaya Moore
As a freelance makeup artist, our busiest days are the weekends. When I first began my career, I would never take time off. It wasn't unusual for me to miss major life events with my family and friends. Now that I'm more established, I block certain weekends off to spend time with my kids, travel and catch up with my friends. We're all super busy so it's great to wind down and chill with my favorite people.
I'm a small business owner and mother of two active girls, so my life moves so fast! I'm always strategizing and planning so it's great to have a moment to turn off my brain. When I put everyone else's needs before my own, I became frustrated and burned out. I was pouring from an empty cup. Now, I'm adamant about having time to recharge even if it's an hour. I'm much happier and balanced once I reclaimed my time!
If I'm off on a Sunday morning, I'll take my youngest daughter to the farmer's market and Sunday dinner at my mom's house is one of our new family traditions, especially after my grandmother passed away in 2017. I need at least a half-day or full weekend day with no plans! My schedule is so taxing that I need time to free my mind. I love unwinding with a glass of wine and a face mask.
Aisha Howard, Atlanta News Anchor
Courtesy of Aisha Howard
The news grind never stops but, on the weekend, I focus more on reconnecting with my loved ones who may only get a quick text or short conversation during the week. I've been rediscovering Atlanta with my college girlfriends; since I'm back in the city after 12 years it feels like a new place. But even while we're out at a group fitness class or a brunch, I still look for opportunities to meet new people and make meaningful connections in the community. I'm always looking for a good news story!
On any given weekend, you can find me at a local charity event just attending or emceeing; church on Sunday and about five FaceTime calls with my mom. And I have to eat something really good, either out discovering a new spot or cooking at home. Because a good surf and turf with a crab cake appetizer is not meant to be eaten out of Tupperware at work at your desk! It's usually on Sunday when I tap into that free-flowing feeling and I relax my always-tense shoulders.
But I have to admit, I still check my email (less frequently) and keep up with what's going on in the news. Still, I never want to be defined by my career and the things that make me uniquely me become my secondary qualities. So I'm very intentional about nurturing my core and acknowledging who and what brings me genuine joy. It took me years to find a digestible balance recipe and I'm always open to tweaking it. Because when I'm true to me, I give my best seven days a week in any environment.
Regina Bonds, Confidence Coach
Courtesy of Regina Bonds
My life requires lots of early mornings and late nights, not to mention I'm a full-time mother to a rising middle schooler. By the time the weekend gets here, I'm screaming TGIF! And because I give 110% during the week, my weekends are both important and sacred to me. I don't take them for granted. I dedicate my weekends to slowing down and enjoying the simple things in life! The two words that describes my main objective for the weekend is SELF-CARE!
My weekends give me fuel for the next week. Because my weekdays are so structured, I allow myself to be more free-flowing on the weekends.
Friday nights normally consist of a nice dinner and a movie. My Saturdays are all about zen vibes and you can typically find me in my sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with no makeup on. I still get up early, however; it's for activities such as hot yoga, reading a good book, picking up some fresh flowers at the downtown market, and a mani/pedi. One of my highlights of the weekend is brunch followed by an evening of fun with my son at the pool or doing something adventurous. He keeps me on my toes.
Sundays are spent refueling my spirit by going to church. I normally go to church, get lunch with friends and family, then nap. Sundays around 6 P.M., I begin to map out my next week, so I know exactly what I need to accomplish to slay my goals for the week!
Krystal Lee, Radio Personality, Founder of Girl + God
Courtesy of Krystal Lee
Girl, I HAVE to get my rest and try to get my life! Not only am I a radio personality, but I also run Girl + God, Girl + Goals and Krystal Lee LLC, which is all things Krystal Lee. So, for the weekends, I try to recharge and rest. Even though I sometimes work on the weekends with radio or speaking engagements, I try to rest as much as possible.
Ultimately, I love to relax and have peace on the weekend. I delete my social media a lot, mostly on the weekends, so I'm not scrolling and obsessing over other people's lives. I just think we are overly exposed to so much. I use the weekends to read the Bible and watch my favorite sermons. I love this because when I'm recharging and getting my physical rest and trying to make sure I'm geared up and prepared for the week, not only am I journaling and focusing on what lies ahead for me, but I have to make sure I'm filled with the Word and make sure I'm ready for the week.
I try to catch up with my family and friends if I can. But honestly, I can't do without candles, my diffuser, a motivational book to inspire my entrepreneurial side and a bed. As long as I have this, I'm set!
Courtney Martin, Photographer
Courtesy of Courtney Martin
My typical weekend consists of a little sleeping in, family time, a few 'out of the house' activities and church. Saturdays are my "sleep in" days (and when I say that I mean sleep an hour or two past 7 A.M.) Sometimes I just need that extra time to enjoy my soft bed and comfy pillows.
Some must-haves for each weekend are a schedule of events and some really good rest (mental and physical). The weekends can come and go so quickly, so I make sure that I plan out what I want to do ahead of time. Whether it's a few things to do around the house or a time to step out, I try to have a general idea of what I want to do and when I want to do it. My Sundays start pretty early because I go to the 8:45 A.M. church service but this allows me to have ample time afterwards to catch up on my TV shows, do necessary things around the house or enjoy more time with family or friends.
Rest is important because sometimes I find myself missing out on good quality sleep and relaxation time during the week. Rest is not only sleeping but it's also giving my mind and body a chance to slow down, regroup and recoup. This is achieved by doing something that is not too demanding but pleasing, such as curling up in my favorite spot to watch a movie or chilling outside to enjoy some fresh air and a nice breeze. I rest up as much as I can, which helps me have enough energy to do all that I have planned. Plus, it gives me a full tank to run on for the upcoming week!
Samantha Smikle, Founder, NRODA Eyewear
Courtesy of Samantha Smikle
I love the ease of the weekend. It makes me feel like I have all the time in the world and that feeling is everything when I need to sort through business ideas and decisions that I'm conflicted with or creatively blocked about. Being able to take a break in between work mode and grab drinks with friends, go shopping or to some event in the city gives me new energy and a reset that I sometimes need before I get back to business… because for a full-time entrepreneur, business does not stop on the weekend.
Usually with working a 9-5, you get back to yourself as soon as you leave the office or wherever your place of work is. As a full-time entrepreneur who works from home, my work days are round the clock between working from my phone at the gym, at stop lights while driving or even in the bathroom. My self-indulgent, guilt-free quality time with my loved ones (even if it's just binge watching Queen of the South on Netflix) is essential to keeping my cup full.
My weekends are fulfilled when I have plans with friends and family – it's a must.
Most times it's hard to connect during the week with both real and self-imposed deadlines and pressures. Social guilt is real as an entrepreneur, when you know you have a million more things to do and the success of your business is riding on you. But dinners, brunch, happy hours, shopping with friends and family on the weekends is just as critical to my self-care, productivity and sanity as meeting deadlines. It allows me to take a conscious break from the business side of my identity.
Yaadira Brown, Medical Student, Howard University
Courtesy of Yaadira Brown
Now that I am on summer break from medical school, my weekend is typically spent engaging in longer workouts at the gym, working on the logistics and content for a new business venture/platform I will be releasing later this summer, and most importantly, journaling. My journal is where I challenge myself to keep track of all that is happening in my life as well as write out my goals and affirmations.
Along with my journal, every weekend is complete with headphones and a water bottle. They make for a peaceful and productive weekend for me. Writing in my journal is therapeutic and is something that holds me accountable. My music is also therapeutic. Music is a big part of who I am. I do almost everything to music.
Renée Ervin, School Counselor
Courtesy of Renee Ervin
As a school counselor, I give so much of my time and energy to my students during the week that my mind and body crave the time for self. The weekend lends itself to a multitude of opportunities to recharge and prepare for the week ahead. One of the ways that I recharge is to spend time with the ones that I love. I will typically schedule dinner with friends that I haven't seen in a while, stop by a family member's house to check their pulse, or spend some quality time with my significant other. I also enjoy taking random road trips when it's warm and trying new activities that may pop up in the city.
My inner appearance renews weekly as I take the time to worship and praise my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ at my church in Indianapolis, IN. My pastor feeds my soul by delivering messages from the Word that only God could have inspired. My church family continuously fills me with joy, as we love one another and work together to uphold our church's motto of living, loving and serving like Jesus. When I am unable to attend church, I find my week is not as fulfilling and know that it is a must-have in order to successfully make it through the week.
Life is too short not to embrace the blessings that God has bestowed upon us all. The weekends, for me, allow me an opportunity to embrace those blessings and allow them to refill me so that I can be a blessing to others. I continue to learn daily that self-care is the first step in being able to be that blessing to others. What better time is there to take care of you than on the weekend?
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
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Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
The Reality Of Living With Severe Asthma – As Told by 2 Women On Their Disease Journey
This post is in partnership with Amgen.
The seemingly simple task of taking a breath is something most of us don’t think twice about. But for people who live with severe asthma, breathing does not always come easily. Asthma, a chronic respiratory condition that inflames and narrows the airways in the lungs, affects millions of people worldwide – 5-10% of which live with severe asthma. Severe asthma is a chronic and lifelong condition that is unpredictable and can be difficult to manage. Though often invisible to the rest of the world, severe asthma is a not-so-silent companion for those who live with it, often interrupting schedules and impacting day-to-day life.
Among the many individuals who battle severe asthma, Black women face a unique set of challenges. It's not uncommon for us to go years without a proper diagnosis, and finding the right treatment often requires some trial and error. Thankfully, all hope is not lost for those who may be fighting to get their severe asthma under control. We spoke with Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq. and Jania Watson, two inspiring Black women who have been living with severe asthma and have found strength, resilience, and a sense of purpose in their journeys.
Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq.
Juanita Ingram has a resume that would make anyone’s jaw drop. On top of being recently crowned Mrs. Universe, she’s also an accomplished attorney, filmmaker, and philanthropist. From the outside, it seems there’s nothing this talented woman won’t try, and likely succeed at. In her everyday life, however, Juanita exercises a lot more caution. From a young age, Juanita has struggled with severe asthma. Her symptoms were always exacerbated by common illnesses like a cold or flu. “I've heard these stories of my breathing struggles, but I remember distinctly when I was younger not being able to breathe every time I got a virus,” says Ingram. “I remember missing a lot of school and crying a lot because asthma is painful. I [was taken] to see my doctor often if I got sick with anything so I was hypervigilant as a child, and I still am.”
Today, Juanita says her symptoms are best managed when she’s working closely with her care team, avoiding getting sick and staying ahead of any symptoms. Ingram said she’s been blessed with skilled doctors who are just as vigilant of her symptoms as she is. While competing in the Mrs. Universe competition, Juanita took extra care to stay clear of other competitors to ensure she didn’t catch a cold or virus that would trigger her severe asthma. “I would stand off to the side and sometimes that could be taken as ‘oh, she thinks she's better than everybody else.’ But if I get sick during a pageant, I'm done. I had to compete with that in mind because my sickness doesn't look like everybody else's sickness.”
Even when her symptoms are under control, living with severe asthma still presents challenges. Juanita relies on her strong support system to overcome the hurdles caused by a lack of understanding from the public, “I think that there's a lot of lack of awareness about how serious severe asthma is. I would [also] tell women to advocate and to trust their intuition and not to allow someone to dismiss what you're experiencing.”
Jania Watson
Jania, a content creator from Atlanta, Georgia, has been living with severe asthma for many years. Thanks to early testing by asthma specialists, Jania was diagnosed with severe asthma as a child after experiencing frequent flare-ups and challenges in her day-to-day life. “I specifically remember, I was starting school, and we were moving into a new house. One of the triggers for me and my younger sister at the time were certain types of carpets. We had just moved into this new house and within weeks of us being there, my parents literally had to pay for all new carpet in the house.”
As Jania grew older, she was suffering from fewer flare-ups and thought her asthma was well under control. However, a trip back to her doctor during high school revealed that her severe asthma was affecting her more than she realized. “That was the first time in a long time I had to do a breathing test,” she describes. “The doctor had me take a deep breath in and blow into a machine to test my breathing. They told me to blow as hard as I could. And I was doing it. I was giving everything I got. [My dad and the doctor] were looking at me like ‘girl, stop playing.’ And at that point [it confirmed] I still have severe asthma because I've given it all I got. It doesn't really go away, but I just learned how to help manage it better.”
Jania recognizes that people who aren’t living with asthma, may not understand the disease and mistake it for something less serious. Or there could be others who think their symptoms are minor, and not worth bringing up. So, for Jania, communicating with others about her diagnosis is key. “Having severe asthma [flare-ups] in some cases looks very similar to being out of shape,” she said. “But this is a chronic illness that I was born with. This is just something that I live with that I've been dealing with. And I think it's important for people to know because that determines the next steps. [They might ask] ‘Do you need a bottle of water, or do you need an inhaler? Do you need to take a break, or do we need to take you to the hospital?’ So, I think letting the people around you know what's going on, just in case anything were to happen plays a lot into it as well.”
Like Juanita, Jania’s journey has been marked by ups and downs, but she remains an unwavering advocate for asthma awareness and support within the Black community. She hopes that her story can be an inspiration to other women with asthma who may not yet have their symptoms under control. “There's still life to be lived outside of having severe asthma. It is always going to be there, but it's not meant to stop you from living your life. That’s why learning how to manage it and also having that support system around you, is so important.”
By sharing their journeys, Juanita and Jania hope to encourage others to embrace their conditions, obtain a proper management plan from a doctor or asthma specialist like a pulmonologist or allergist, and contribute to the improvement of asthma awareness and support, not only within the Black community, but for all individuals living with severe asthma.
Read more stories from others like Juanita and Jania on Amgen.com, or visit Uncontrolled Asthma In Black Women | BREAK THE CYCLE to find support and resources.
Practically every woman has a smoldering group chat that’s brimming with jaw-dropping red flags–from bad dates, promising love that never quite lived up to its potential, and fractured relationships that can serve as a cautionary tale on Iyanla, Fix My Life.
Most of my dating life–up to my late 20s–consisted of surviving a deluge of red flags and mistaking them for par for the course of securing sweet love. And, I often contributed to my own toxic red flags, like snooping through my then-boyfriend’s phone without his permission. (Yes, young, immature, and capricious).
Oh, how I wish my parents had equipped me with a helpful list of green flags long before I scribbled my name on my and my older boyfriend’s apartment lease and before I packed up the shabby U-Haul along with the shattered pieces of a broken heart, several months later.
However, since we’re now living and thriving in a revolutionary conscious era of healing, self-love, and breaking generational curses, let’s focus on the good: green flags. They are the hallmarks of a soft, joyous life and, of course, healthy love.
What Green Flags To Look For In A Partner
In case you’re new to the term, green flags highlight positive actions or traits, which are usually signs of healthy behaviors.
Licensed clinical social worker, Khalida Bradford, LCSW, at A Journey of Wellness Therapy, says, “In my therapy practice, I look at the green flags in the relationship, and I always have my client identify and list what their green flags are so this can help them see what they view as important. These green flags are going to be individual and some general, but it really is going to depend on what that person values and sees fit for their life.”
Whether you’re single and dating, looking forward to returning to the dating pool, or in a committed relationship, here are 11 green flags to look for in a potential mate or existing relationship.
1.R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Respect is the solid foundation of any healthy relationship. Without respect, a flourishing love is difficult to exist. A green flag is planted when they demonstrate they can respect you. The whole you. Your hopes, cares, reveries. Your noes and yeses. They even respect when you activate your boundaries.
Bradford says boundaries are important because it ties into respect. “Having respect for someone’s individual boundaries is definitely a positive sign. When you think about healthy boundaries, you think about the need for someone’s personal space, time, privacy. You don’t want to date someone who for example, keeps calling your phone and not respecting your time at work; they’re not respecting your personal items–maybe they’re going through your stuff at home, driving by your house [unannounced]. Or, if you say, ‘My boundary is that I don’t allow people to come over to my house on the first few dates’ and yet they keep trying to come over.
"There are so many different aspects to what healthy boundaries are. And it’s a green flag if someone has already established healthy boundaries.”
2.Communication Is Top Tier
Clear and effective communication is typically a must-have skill or trait that companies require in the professional world, and for good reason. Likewise, for couples or people getting to know one another, the ability to communicate effectively is an essential building block to construing and maintaining a healthy relationship.
Forms of healthy communication include that they check in with you regularly. They are consistent in communicating. They put in the time to get to know you. Or, if you’ve been partnered for a while, they take the time to stay updated with all that’s currently going on with you. And my personal favorite: they are a good listener.
Establishing each other’s preferred method of communication is also critical. Do they prefer to text, email, or call? Do they like “good morning, babe” texts or, are after-work calls more their style? What works best for you?
As a writer/producer who sits poorly slouched over a computer typing for over nine hours a day, I prefer to give my carpal tunnel wrists, hands, and fingers a break by sending vivacious voice notes or scheduling phone calls with bae. Plus, I like the fact that I can convey my true emotion and tone through voice notes and phone calls. And vice versa, I can hear his too.
Relationships often falter simply because one or both people are unable to communicate the things they need or want. As the old adage goes, “A closed mouth doesn’t get fed.”
Thus, having top-tier communication is key because, as Bradford says, “It allows you to express your needs, wants, and concerns."
3.Safe and Secure
In a world that is often turbulent, unsafe, and overwhelming with uncertainty, it’s heartening to both meet and share your world with someone who makes you feel safe and secure.
You’re confident that whether you have a profound conversation with them, send intimate selfies, or share a litany of unfiltered details of yourself, those moments or items are safe between the two of you.
Another green flag is that your nervous system feels at ease and peace when you’re around them or when you simply hear the cadence in their voice. They create a perpetual, safe space enabling you to feel unencumbered to give your body, mind, emotions, and the many layers of yourself.
4.Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is a cacophony of hidden gems.
Photo by Case Kenny, That's Bold of You
Emotional intelligence is a cacophony of hidden gems. It is the golden key that unlocks the treasure to build and sustain a wealth of healthy love and relationships.
Does your potential partner or current partner display empathy? Are they caring? Mature in their decision-making and responses? Are they able to control and regulate their emotions?
Conflict is inevitable, but if they’re able to regulate their emotions–such as self-soothe, diffuse a fight, admit when they’re wrong, or empathize with you–hooray! These are all signs of green flags.
5.Trustworthy
Trust is like a whimsical botanical garden: In all its glory, it's built over time. You must plant the seeds of trust and continually water and nourish your efforts, long after the petals have bloomed.
A sure green flag is when you can wholly trust them–with every fiber of your being, and with your time and resources. You can even trust sharing your secrets, future plans, and dreams. You can confide in them with your past, which, let’s be honest, everyone isn’t equipped to handle. And you can trust both their words and actions.
There’s no greater euphoric feeling than the ability to trust whatever your potential mate or partner says because fidelity has been established. Like when he/she says the reason they didn’t answer their phone at 11:37 p.m. last Saturday was because they were sprawled out on the couch in a deep sleep–instead of letting your mind wander into a myriad of catastrophic scenarios, you can relax knowing they’re telling the truth. Or when they say, “She’s just a friend.” She really is… just a platonic friend.
6.Character Is A-1
As you grow and mature, what matters most in the grand scheme of life crystalizes. External factors like what they do for a living, how much money they make, how many degrees they’ve accumulated, or how chiseled their physique is, fade into the background of importance, while one’s character shines brightly in the spotlight.
Their character will demonstrate if they are reliable. Whether they are a person of their word. If they will show up when they say they will. If they’re truthful and embody integrity. And whether they uphold their character when they’re not around you.
A supportive person is also a green flag. Someone who encourages your endeavors, goals, and your loftiest dreams. Someone who celebrates your progress, wins, and success–and has compassion for your failures.
Sure, a person’s enticing, dapper appearance and status may attract you to them, but ultimately, it’s their character that will sustain the test of a relationship’s time.
7.Thoughtful/Considerate
Thoughtfulness and consideration are powerhouse underdogs when it comes to green flags in relationships.
Photo by Case Kenny, That's Bold of You
Whenever you scrawl your list of top “must haves” in a highly desirable partner, in your journal–or as the honeymoon has long phased out and you begin to analyze the good, bad, and what needs improvement–thoughtfulness and consideration may not immediately make your Top Five, but these two green flags are powerhouse underdogs. After all, it’s the tiny things that make a monumental difference in dating and relationships.
Bradford believes, “Thoughtfulness and consideration go hand-in-hand. Like, the way someone thinks about you; they think about how something is going to make you feel. If there’s a certain behavior, action, or situation that they may be engaged in, they consider your feelings in it. They consider how it will make you feel.”
She continues, “For thoughtfulness, it’s someone who thinks about you in a way that shows a high level of interest and effort. In essence, they’re listening to you, they’re observing, they hear what you say. For example, ‘I heard you say you had a bad day, so I’m going to schedule a massage for you.’ Or ‘I know you like sparkling water, so I bought you a case of sparkling water.' They’re showing they are both thoughtful and considerate.”
8.Generosity Is Good for the Soul
There’s nothing sexier than a magnanimous beau. There are a multitude of ways one can be generous. And generosity isn’t to be conflated with the amount of money one has, ‘cause Lord knows I’ve dated enough men who were affluent and stingy, just as I’ve known men who've had modest means but were extremely benevolent and would happily give you their last $20, plus the warm coat off their back in the middle of a snowstorm.
Do they help the less fortunate, family, or friends with their resources? Do they tip well when they receive good services? Are they willing to lend their time, talent, or natural gifts to volunteer or mentor? If so, these are just a few ways they’ve demonstrated a green flag.
9.Financial Wellness
Money, money, money. If you’re currently in a serious relationship or have ever been, then you, too, can attest that finances play a significant role. While every couple has their own unique set of rules as to who should pay or split the bills, rent/mortgage, and life’s other never-ending expensive expenses, a partner’s financial wellness is a tremendous green flag.
“How secure they are financially? Someone who is in-tuned and mindful about how they spend, save, invest. Someone who isn’t overspending; they spend responsibly. Those are all major green flags for a partner to have,” Bradford emphasizes.
10.Values Family and Friendships
How a person treats their family and friendships is not all-encompassing of who they are as a person (because humans are capable of compartmentalizing), but their treatment of their loved ones is largely indicative of how their actions towards you, can and will be.
Bradford notes, “Someone who is family-oriented is a green flag because you can see what their values are. Family being important to them means they will also support you and encourage you to establish and maintain good relationships with your family.”
Does your person show up for their loved ones in times of need? Do they speak positively about those closest to them? Is your person a beacon of light or a source of joy, hope, and replenishment for their family and friends? If so, wave that green flag.
11.Acceptance (For the Real You)
If bae can accept the totality of who you are, that’s a green flag. They don’t try to change you or make snide remarks about how you would be more desirable or look better if you were something else. They appreciate and adore you for who you authentically are.
And they accept that when you do inevitably change–be it physically, emotionally, spiritually, or otherwise–they are appreciative of the new version of you.
I knew I had finally entered my healthy relationship era when I could freely divulge the scariest parts of me–my flaws and the emotional baggage from toxic ex-boyfriends and fun-boys–for the first time in my life. My then-partner fully embraced my most vulnerable parts and cheered me on in my journey of healing.
Becoming the Green Flags You Desire
Chile, I’ve endured an obscene amount of trial and error throughout my glorious dating and relationship years–but I’m grateful that through habitual meditation, therapy, prayer, and asking God to show me what healthy love truly looks like that I’ve finally gained clarity and wisdom on green flags that I should discern in a partner and epitomize myself.
Because after all, finding the healthy and positive traits we admire in our ideal person begins with embodying the qualities we seek in others.
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Featured image by Kadarius Seegars on Unsplash