Normalizing “The Talk”: How To Break The Ice Around STIs
April is STI (Sexually Transmitted Infections) Awareness Month, and let’s be honest: bringing up the STI talk with our potential (or existing) sexual partner can be… well, awkward.
According to the WHO, over 1 million new cases of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are collected every day, and the CDC’s 2021 STD surveillance data revealed that STIs are continuing to rise across the nation. Although STIs are highly common among adults over 25, the topic of safe sex and prevention still remains stigmatized.
Sharing your sexual history with a new partner can sometimes bring up an array of uncomfortable feelings. You may be worried that your partner will see you as “damaged goods,” fear being judged, shamed, or concerned that they may find you uptight for encouraging them to get tested. But according to Dr. Kameelah Phillips, board-certified OB/GYN and founder of Calla Women's Health, STIs don’t discriminate, nor should we.
“Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) happen to everyone, regardless of socioeconomic, religious or political lifestyle, she tells xoNecole. “There are many misconceptions and stigmas around contracting an STI, but it really only takes one partner to get infected, and STIs don’t care who you are, where you come from, or what your background is.”
Since most sexually transmitted infections are asymptomatic and can solely be detected through passive screening methods, undergoing testing is vital in determining your status and reducing the risk of developing serious health consequences in the long run.
Transparency, openness, and proper education are all keys to helping destigmatize the STI talk and normalizing the conversation. Creating a safe and non-judgmental space where individuals can discuss their sexual health without fear of criticism can help to dispel misconceptions that fuel the stigma surrounding STIs and allow both parties to feel safe during intimacy.
But maybe you still don’t know where to start. To help you get your STI talk moving in the right direction, we’ve tapped Dr. Kameelah Phillips to share how to break the ice when having “the talk” and get you on the way to safer and more secure sex.
What are some effective prevention methods for not contracting STIs that you feel may be overlooked?
"There are plenty of ways you can ensure you’re practicing safer sex — from condom use to dental dams and mutual pre-relationship testing and agreed monogamy. Now, I get it, mutual monogamy cannot always be guaranteed, so even for the longest-standing relationships, I recommend routine testing. Self-pleasure is also a sure way to avoid STIs. There is still some risk involved with every sexual encounter, which is why it is so important we remove the stigma associated with STIs and encourage patients to test regularly for STIs."
How often should sexually active individuals get tested for STIs, and what types of tests are available?
"A standard STI panel will include chlamydia, gonorrhea, trichomonas, syphilis, HIV, and hepatitis. Providers follow CDC guidelines, which vary depending on the STI. For chlamydia and gonorrhea, for example, we should be testing women 15-24 years old annually for these STIs regardless of the patient’s reported sexual behavior. Because these two common STIs are often asymptomatic, and there’s a lot of stigma around having an infection, automatically screening these young women for chlamydia and gonorrhea can help identify more cases and help protect patients’ reproductive health.
"A good rule of thumb is to ensure you’re getting tested for STIs annually or with every new partner. If you don’t get tested, you may never know. Many STIs don’t have symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to get tested."
What populations are at highest risk for STIs, and what are some targeted strategies for prevention and education?
"The CDC just released new data that found some racial and ethnic minority groups, gay and bisexual men, and our nation’s youth are disproportionately impacted and continue to experience high rates of STIs. In 2021, the highest rate of reported chlamydia and gonorrhea cases was among non-Hispanic Black or African American persons.
"Diversity in our healthcare providers is one way that we can foster a safe space for patients to feel comfortable talking about STIs and voicing any symptoms or concerns.
"Another important strategy specific to chlamydia and gonorrhea is an opt-out screening approach. Unless they decline, young women 15-24 years old are tested annually for STIs regardless of their reported sexual behavior. The CDC acknowledges this screening approach in its latest CDC guidelines as a way to improve patient acceptance, substantially increase screening, especially among patients who do not disclose sexual behavior, and be cost-saving."
How can individuals communicate with their partners about STI testing and prevention?
"Anyone who is sexually active should feel empowered to discuss their sexual health with their partner. Communication about sexual health is a normal and healthy part of a sexual relationship.
Some conversation starters include:
- “I like to talk with every new partner about STI testing for peace of mind.”
- “When were you last tested for STIs?”
- “I’ve started seeing someone new and want to make sure we both get tested to start fresh together.”
- “I’m worried someone I had sex with might have exposed me to something.”
What advice do you have for individuals who are nervous or embarrassed about getting tested for STIs?
"Getting an STI can happen to anyone. It's very common, and in fact, half of sexually active people will contract an STI by the time they're 25. Getting tested for STIs is easy and can be free, fast, and confidential. It is usually painless and just a quick swab or pee in a cup.
"If you do test positive, it's just the first step toward treating it. And with common STIs, like chlamydia or gonorrhea, antibiotics will treat your infection. The real problem is when STIs go undiagnosed. Take chlamydia, for instance, it can lead to serious health issues like infertility."
If you’d like to find a clinic near you, you can use the CDC clinic locator at https://yesmeanstest.org/.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Rowan Jordan/Getty Images
- This Is How To Have Safe Sex In The Age Of COVID-19 ›
- How To Talk About Intimacy Issues With Your Partner ›
Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
Black women are not a monolith. We all are deserving of healing and wholeness despite what we've been through, how much money we have in the bank, or what we look like. Most importantly, we are enough—even when we are not working, earning, or serving.
Welcome to Black Girl Whole, your space to find the wellness routine that aligns with you! This brand-new marketplace by xoNecole is a safe space for Black women to activate their healing, find the inspiration to rest, and receive reassurance that we are one small act away from finding our happiness.
Want to discover where you are on your wellness journey? You don't have to look far. In partnership with European Wax Center, we're bringing you a customized wellness quiz to help you up your wellness game. Answer our short series of questions to figure out which type of wellness lover you are, what you need to bring more balance into your life, and then go deeper by shopping products geared towards clearing your mind, healing your body, and soothing your spirit.
Ready to get whole? Take our quiz now!
Why The September Surge Is The Perfect Time To Job Hunt For Your Next Career Move
Looking for a job is a full-time job in itself. When it comes to job hunting, everyone seems to be looking for a job, in an interview process, or getting ready to get back out there to make some kind of career change. Sometimes there doesn’t always feel like a light at the end of the tunnel but staying consistent can get you the new career you want.
With that being said, there are times of the year when your chances of finding your new career are better than others. One of those times is upon us now and it has been referred to as the September Surge.
What is the September Surge?
Okay so let’s just get to it. September Surge is the time of year when your potential to get a job is greater because companies go on a hiring uptick. The reason this is happening is because September marks the end of summer in most places. Many hiring managers, recruiters, etc. are coming back from summer vacations and are returning to their jobs.
The other thing to know is that most companies operate on a fiscal calendar that begins in September. This means that companies have the budget to fill positions and you will begin to see an increase in the amount of jobs that are posted as well as an increase in hiring activities.
This “surge" typically lasts from after Labor Day until Halloween, so you have a long time to get yourself out there if you are looking to make a career move.
How do you get prepared for September Surge?
I did some of the research for you and went to TikTok to ask an expert. Shaque’l Wilson, also known as the 6-Figure Chick (@shaquel_the6figurechick), has been a constant staple on #careertok where she posts her "jobs of the day," which usually include jobs in the tech space with six-figure salaries and incredibly sought after benefits packages. Through her content, she breaks down what you need to do to break into tech, scale the corporate ladder, and land a six-figure paying job in a way that empowers you to step into the job hunting with confidence and knowledge.
Shaque’l has helped hundreds of people land the career they want and offers services like DIY optimization of your resume and LinkedIn, as well as her accelerator program which gives you access to her and her resourceful team for a more hands-on experience.
Just my luck, Shaque”l happens to be very responsive to her TikTok comments, so I asked her what should someone who is job hunting have prepared for September Surge. She responded in a TikTok post and here are the top things that you should do according to the 6-Figure Chick to make September Surge work for you:
@shaquel_the6figurechick Replying to @Amer-Marie Woods hope this helps love!! #blackwomenintech #newjob #careertransition #jobhelp #septembersurge #layoffs
- Start applying to jobs early. Honestly, the time to start applying is in August. This is when recruiters gather all of the candidates that they will want to send through the application process in early September. Networking as early as possible gives you a better chance of being seen first and staying on a recruiter’s mind. But, no worries if you have not started yet, you should go ahead and get your materials organized now.
- Find companies that you are interested in and look to see if they have posted new job listings. You should also be doing this on the job boards that you trust as often as every other day. This is to stay on top of what new job postings are there because an influx of jobs will be appearing. A quick tip: Shaque’l has a TikTok that covers the job boards that she recommends besides using LinkedIn and Indeed, with verified jobs listed on them.
- Get specific on what job titles you are going to go after. You need to tailor or optimize your resume to that specific job. Additionally, you should also be optimizing your LinkedIn with keywords and updating your information so that when recruiters are doing a search you can be easily found. This part should be done first before you start to press the button on applying for jobs.
One last thing: always make sure you are networking! Your chances of getting a new career are higher when you have a referral from someone in the company.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Cecilie_Arcurs/Getty Images
