4 Ways To Stay Sane When You Work From Home
In addition to the fact that I can now proudly say that my dream job is my day job and vice versa, since becoming Managing Editor, my wish to work from home has been fully actualized in the process. With the rise in prominence of remote work, more and more of us are indulging in the inclusive ability to clock into our 9 to 5s while rocking our PJs and "bumming" it on the couch. It's a blessing I don't take lightly because I've worked through some crazy-long commutes, paid for lunches daily (which added up and caused me to gain the Office 20 in the process), and depending on where you work, investing in a wardrobe is a requirement that's no easy (or budget-friendly) feat.
However, while convenient AF and cost-effective as hell, working from home is not without its drawbacks. Although I don't struggle with productivity, in my work from home life, I do sometimes teeter the boundaries between work life and home life, as well as being faithful to a routine. But in the past year, I've gained some valuable insight and tips on how to rock this work from home life. Check them out below.
Establish Work/Home (Life) Boundaries
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You know the workaholic who loves to work and, in that regards, puts their pleasure over matter? I'm totally that girl. I've always known I had the potential to be a workaholic, but I really became privy to my somewhat dangerous habit when I started working from home. That tendency of course lent itself to how I went about my day and often, that meant not allowing there to be clear boundaries between when I worked and when I lived because of how blurred those lines were.
I would wake up, unlock my phone, open my email app, and start work before I even brushed my teeth or washed my face. I'd feel obligated to work whenever I was near my laptop. I'd feel obligated to work whenever I got a text message or read a message while I was out for a couple of hours. That's not the way to live, sis. Since then, I've made it a point to draw clearer lines between Work Sheriden and Home Sheriden. Work Sheriden now only works when she considers herself ON. I "clock in" and I "clock out", and once I've clocked out, I don't have to feel like I'm in work mode just because my home is my office.
Create A Space You Love Working In
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If you're going to set up shop in your home, you might as well make it an inviting space to be in. I don't have a traditional office sectioned off. Instead, I work from my couch. Sometimes, I offset the monotony with a seat at my desk in my bedroom, but let's face it, a couch is so much kinder to the body.
I like to set the mood with a bit of aromatherapy to help calm my senses by having soy candles burning. Lavender anything is a favorite of mine and has healing properties that include improving the mood, treating stress, migraines, and anxiety, as well as stimulating the brain. Music is another favorite of mine. My Feel Good playlist is such a vibe-setter and can definitely add some life into an otherwise quiet space. Podcasts and interviews are also great audio-stimulators that provide motivating ambience while I work.
Be Loyal To A Routine
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A routine will be your best friend and your greatest ally when working from home. I don't have my day super detailed to the T, but there are some things that are mainstays – twice-a-week meetings and a once a week mandatory check-in call are examples of that. Additionally, there are tasks that stay the same throughout my week too. I've learned to do my best to adhere to a to-do list for the most part when it comes to tackling the day-to-day tasks and leaving room to give my energy to other things as they come up.
Perhaps even more important than that, was my commitment of keeping certain elements of my day the same and making sure to create a routine out of it:
6:30 a.m. – Wake up, wake up
6:30-7:30 a.m. – Relaxing in bed, sometimes doing nothing, sometimes reading, sometimes just catching up on a show or two that I like
7:30-8:30 a.m. – Brush my teeth, wash my face, shower, and make some breakfast
8:30 a.m. – I usually begin my workday around now, even though I prefer to wait until 9
8:30 a.m.-12 p.m. – Editing, uploading, writing, emails, meeting(s)
The remainder of my day follows that rhythm with the occasional hour break to eat and fit in a quick workout routine. My work day usually ends around 8, 10:00 at the latest. Having some sort of semblance of a routine allows me to understand my day in pieces versus being overwhelmed by anxiety of always being go, go, go and do, do, do.
Isolate Time For Meaningful Breaks
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As you can see in the aforementioned tip, I really value my breaks. When I worked traditional desk jobs, I was accustomed to the obligatory 15- to 30-minute breaks companies allot their employees but I didn't realize how easy it would be to forget all about those necessary pauses when I was doing what I love full-time. For the first few months (read: six months), I forgot to pause.
I'd work 12- to 14-hour days, barely stopping for bathroom breaks but my daily water intake wouldn't let me. So, you can imagine that lack of care went double for making the time to eat. When I'm busy, it's very easy to forget to eat and a couple of hours can quickly turn to five without me even realizing it. But it is vital that you isolate time for breaks. Thus, nowadays, I try to have a minimum of three half-hour breaks each day.
Unplug. Chat with a friend. Take a walk. Read. Cook for yourself. Whatever you do, place your work day on a time out and do so as frequently as you need to.
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How I Make My Home A Sacred Space For Productivity
8 Realities About Working From Home
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Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Being a sexual empath shapes the orgasmic experience into an emotionally charged journey. The intense connection with a partner's energy elevates the pleasure of orgasm but may also leave a lingering sense of emotional fatigue. Experiencing a mind-blowing orgasm involves not only the physical release but also absorbing and reflecting a partner's emotions.
"Sexual empaths are people whose energetic level intensifies during sexual activity. It dramatically affects the way they connect with others during sexual experiences because they can deeply connect with their partner's sexual energy," said Kasey King, LMFT.
The exchange of energies during orgasm may involve absorbing both the ecstasy and potential negative emotions, adding a layer of complexity to the post-orgasmic experience.
King is a marriage and sex therapist located in Fort Worth, TX. She owns a private practice, Lavender Healing Center, that offers relationship, sex therapy, and healing services to clients located in Texas and Mississippi. King spoke with xoNecole about what sex is like for a sexual empath, the impact of sexual empathy on orgasm, and navigating sex with a sexual empath.
What Sex is Like for a Sexual Empath?
Engaging in sex as a sexual empath can be emotionally intense, leading to a sense of depletion. The empathic experience extends beyond physical release, often requiring a period of emotional recharge to restore balance.
"Because of their ability to absorb and give energy, sex can be euphoric but also leave you feeling empty and not in a pleasing way," King explained.
For a sexual empath, managing the emotional aftermath is essential to maintaining their well-being and preserving the depth of connection in future intimate encounters.
"Common patterns after sex are not always the same. Aftercare can look different for sexual empaths. While some empaths feel a deeper connection, others can disconnect and shut down. As a sexual empath, it may be important to discuss your post-sex desires before sex so you aren't left feeling used, and the experience is not one-sided," King recommended.
The Impact of Sexual Empathy on Orgasm
The drained sensation experienced by a sexual empath after sex extends to their orgasmic encounters. While the orgasm itself is a powerful culmination of physical and emotional elements, the aftermath leaves the empath in need of a thoughtful recovery. Their intense emotions can lead to a sense of emotional and physical fatigue.
"The exchange of their energy during orgasm is not always beautiful. You can have a mind-blowing orgasm and absorb your partner's negative energy while they are now rejuvenated. It is important to be mindful of your sexual partner's stress and emotional availability while engaging in sexual activity to ensure you are getting what you need as well," King said.
King shared that orgasms differ from other sexual empaths and can be more intense with other sexual empaths.
"Since sexual empath's energies are highly sensitive, it is easier to pick up each other's cues regarding pleasure, resistance, and anxiety," she said." Orgasms with similar energies are also more powerful and meaningful for that reason. When a sexual empath has sex with a non-sexual empath, orgasms may still occur. However, it may look different because energy is not always shared and understood. Non-sexual empaths can still provide their [sexual empath] partners with an intense orgasm because they took the time to understand what their partner needs."
Unfortunately, if a non-sexual empath doesn't take the time to understand their partner's needs, then their needs go unmet. And when the needs of a sexual empath are unmet, emotional disconnection ensues, and it casts a shadow over the intimacy in the relationship.
"Since sexual empaths feel on a deeper level and can meet the needs of their partner easily, they push their needs aside. [Sexual empaths] may fall into the role of 'people pleaser' or unintentionally sexually submissive. As a 'people pleaser,' sexual empaths can also misread the sexual experience and be left feeling foolish and unfulfilled," King revealed.
Navigating Sex with a Sexual Empath
Navigating sex with a sexual empath as a non-empath involves fostering open communication and mutual understanding. Recognizing and respecting the empath's heightened sensitivity to emotions is crucial. Prioritize clear verbal and non-verbal communication to ensure both partners feel heard and connected. Establishing trust and creating a safe space for emotional expression contributes to a fulfilling and harmonious sexual experience, allowing the unique dynamics of the empathic connection to flourish.
"As a marriage and sex therapist, I first assess a couple's sexual connectedness, then discuss their individual meaning of sex, which often differs," said King.
"In relationships where one partner is a sexual empath, practical exercises can include explaining your sexual cues because the non-sexual empath can often misunderstand them. Also, mutually engaging in non-penetrative intercourse to learn each other's needs, desires, and kinks on a deeper level," she added.
King noted that being a sexual empath doesn't necessarily mean your energy is shared equally or with a deserving partner.
"Sexual empaths can get sucked in, which may complicate the relationship. Empaths give freely yet aren't always verbally expressive. To heighten your sexual experience and have an amazing orgasm, ensure pleasure is not only expressed but understood. Know that you are deserving to receive what you give."
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