How I Knew It Was Time To See A Therapist
For decades, mental health, depression, and therapist have been words that are equivalent to cuss words among the black community.
Once 'depression' exits someone's lips, you'll hear two things, "Pray about it" and "Don't let the devil in your mind." Over the years, that word has transitioned into something powerful. Men and women are making it known that one's mental health is a priority. Celebrities and TV personalities are using their mental pain as a call-to-action. The veil is finally being lifted and thrown in the trash. Being vulnerable has somewhat become a requirement when communicating.
2016 was the worst year of my life, mentally and physically.
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At the time, my doctor diagnosed me with moderate depression, and it was wreaking havoc on my body. I would spend an hour in the bathroom stall at my job, crying every day before my shift. I was lost, sad, frustrated, and weak mentally and spiritually. I have already gone through two therapists that I only visited 2-3 times. I must say that I hated it. I didn't feel like a white person would understand my pain as a black woman, so I gave up on seeking help in that way. I relied on my prescriptions to do what they intended to do, which was to shut off my emotions, so I thought.
For three months, my mom would mention that I should see a therapist. I would get slightly annoyed because, at the time, I felt like I didn't need one. In October 2018, I decided to take a leap of faith and decided to see a therapist for the third time. Days before my first therapy session, I frequently asked the question, "Why do I need to see a therapist?"
Here are four signs that it may be time to see a therapist.
You don't feel like yourself.
We all have days where we feel a little "off", which could contribute to stress, not getting enough rest, and not eating the right foods. Imagine feeling "off" for four months straight and not knowing why you feel this way. Every day I felt like I was in a battle with myself and my thoughts. I still had to have the energy to get up, get dressed, and head into work, but it felt like one long Monday. As someone whose Google calendar reflects the schedule of a CEO, I prided myself on not forgetting and planning everything. However, during that time, I would forget important dates, names, my birthday, and why I went to the kitchen.
It felt like I was drifting through life. I lived every day in a subconscious state of mind.
What alerted me the most was I would drop things––not in a clumsy way, but I could be standing in pure silence, and I would drop whatever I had in my hands. I had a habit of dropping coffee mugs. When I saw my favorite coffee mug shattered in a million pieces on the floor, I knew that something had to change. When you can look at yourself in the mirror and not recognize who you are, it is a sign that you may need to speak with someone.
Nothing you've done seems to have helped.
You've gone to the doctor, took the required medication, talked to family and friends, or slept it off, and you still don't feel any relief. You've done everything in your power to feel better, and nothing seems to work. My biggest flaw was compartmentalizing my problems and suppressing my feelings so deep that I became numb. I knew I had to see a therapist when I could no longer ignore the hurt and the pain that I felt about myself and those around me. The harder I would try to forget, the louder and faster my problems revealed themselves.
You feel like no one understands you.
No matter how many times you've explained your issues, you feel that people on the receiving end aren't understanding your issues or that people are giving lackluster advice on what to do. I consider myself a good communicator. I take my time and express my words in a way, so I don't repeat myself. But back then, I felt like I was met with deaf ears or blank faces as if I were speaking a foreign language. Those were the moments I found the most frustrating.
I felt myself isolating myself even more. If my own family couldn't understand my pain, I didn't think a therapist would. Before I decided to go to therapy, I spent three months in isolation and no longer explaining my problems to people. That's when I knew I needed to seek help.
You are having a difficult time processing the loss of a friend or a loved one.
The year was 2012, and I was in school with approximately two months left before I graduated. Three days before my birthday, I experienced the loss of my uncle. That was one of the most challenging times in my life. After the funeral, I had to go to class the next day, and I couldn't function. My mind shut down, and I was going through the motions. I didn't remember the exams I took, what grades I got on them, or any new material. After two weeks, I wanted to quit school. I was no longer interested in my passion. Although I didn't go to a therapist at that time, I was encouraged to stay in school in my uncle's memory.
When experiencing any loss, it feels like you lost a part of yourself. What I've learned since then is that there isn't a right or wrong way to mourn. We all process loss differently than the next. There also isn't a timeline on when you'll get better. If it comes to a point where you can't function and slip into some depression, then it's suggested that you see a therapist.
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Featured image by Giphy.
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Writer, Empath, Listener, Self Improver, and a motivational speaker to her homegirls Teisha LeShea currently resides in California who loves to add fifteen million items to her Amazon cart. She is passionate about wellness, spiritual improvement, leveling up, and setting up twice a month therapy appointments. She writes with you in mind. Her listicle and personal stories will inspire you to dig deep within yourself to be a better you. You can follow her on Instagram @teisha.leshea and & @tl_teisha.leshea
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl In Motion: Paige Shari Addison Shows Us Why She's The Hostess With The Mostess
Paige Shari Addison is the epitome of an ItGirl, which is why she is one of 100 ladies on xoNecole's inaugural ItGirl 100 list in partnership with Hyundai. Hailing from Atlanta, Georgia, Paige started her journey as a host in high school by hosting parties. Since then, she has made a career in hosting, from parties to big-name events, and she launched Strictly RNB, a platform for new artists and R&B lovers. Paige reflects on her creative path in the limited video series "ItGirl in Motion."
“My first curated event at Criminal Records was incredible. It was all for up-and-coming artists,” she says. “I needed a platform for us as a collective to be able to give ourselves the platform instead of asking for it, instead of looking for it. I was like, I want to make sure I let people get this experience that I would give as a performer but enjoy the experience with them. It was a dream come true.”
The Atlanta native also has her own line of acai bowls called Soulfull Bowls. She started it during the pandemic after events and parties shut down. But it was her love for eating acai bowls and the reactions others had to them that made her want to make it her next business move. Being open to creating new ventures in the midst of uncertainty is a bold move and one of the reasons why Paige has the “it” factor.
“Being an ItGirl means you’re just authentic. There’s an air to us. We have confidence that exudes from the way we speak, the way we put our lip gloss on, the way we walk, the way we talk. I show up as myself everytime I walk into a room. I’m hospitable, I make sure everybody’s good,” she says.
Get to know more about the hostess with the mostess in the video above.
See our ItGirl 100 list in full here. Click through the gallery below for some BTS moments of Paige and our partnership with Hyundai.
Director: Mikkoh @mikkoh
Production company: @polly___studio
Producer/AD: Samuel Cho @choboi90
Producer/Tech: Paul Nguyen @paul__winn
DP: Cristian Bernal @cristianbernal
Editor: @30inthemorning
2nd Cam: Paul Nguyen
1st AC: AJ Paug @ajpaug Gaffer: Dennis Albert @dennisalbert_
Audio Mixer: Victor Chavez @vic_the__
PA: Rick Carreno @ispeakrick
PA: Tiffany Do @tivani.doee
BTS Photo: Prime @theartofprime
Car Detail: @sud_studs @slugglobal
Creative Director @hellobosco
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@xoNecole
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Feature image by Prime/ @theartof prime