It's hard as hell for a person to know when they should go for the bait. It can be quite confusing, to be honest. So many signals can become mixed when It comes to figuring out if someone is interested in you or they are just simply being polite.
Amongst being curved, embarrassed, or getting our lil' feelings hurt, it could also be quite intimidating to make a play for that Zaddy that you have your eyes on, but let's make sure we all have a clear understanding, ladies. There is a total difference between showing that handsome stud that you're interested versus full-blown chasing a man and scaring his ass off. It's all about reciprocity and vibes. If a man is showing the same type of interest in you as you are in him or giving strong hints, then that's your time to analyze your "go" signal thoroughly and go for the shot.
Shooting your shot doesn't have to a be a life sentence of curvedom. If you know what signs to look for and get rid of the outdated mindset that a man has to pursue you first, it could actually be an all-around confidence booster; a feeling of gaining your power back. It's simply about getting comfortable in knowing you have the capability of being "the chooser" and don't have to wait on a man to decide if you are worthy of being chosen.
Once you put yourself out there and show your interest, if he is interested, trust and believe he will take the lead from there. As scary as an ego hit can be, if the ball is in your court and you don't take the opportunity to score a winning shot, how else would you know what it feels like to win in the game of love? Scroll below for four ways to know it's finally time to shoot your shot:
Direct Eye Contact
If your future bae is giving you the googly eyes, you better believe that you have some type of captivating quality that has caught his attention. Men will typically shy away or look off from women they aren't interested in, all in hopes of not giving the wrong signal. But if he keeps gazing at you, looking directly in your eyes and making himself known to you, sis, that man is trying to catch your attention. It's up to you now to work your magic. Brush into him by accident, signal him over, or just plain out spark up a conversation with him. Men love humor, so compliment him in a playful way and see where it goes from there.
Body Language
Pay attention to the details. If he is being particularly conscious about his appearance while he's in your presence, you might have hooked your dream guy on the low. When he's overly smiling, biting his lips, fixing his cuff links, belt, or tie constantly, or touching his beard or hair over and over, he's more than likely trying to flaunt his best assets and he wants you to notice him. Men always want to be seen as masculine and powerful so if he's facing towards you, leaning in close, or he's tryna find a suitable place to put his hands, you've got this man intrigued and he wants to get closer to you; it's time to make a move.
Physical Contact
You know the saying "actions speak louder than words"? Well in this case, that's a sure bet. This is probably one of your easiest clues to tell when you should be pushing up on your possible man-to-be, or one of your options (if that's your cup of tea). A man is very unlikely to touch you in any way if he isn't somewhat interested in you. He might rub against you subtly, brush his hand over your shoulder, graze the small of your back with his palm, or simply grab your hands and hold them. Even if words haven't been exchanged about what's going on between the two of you, the physical chemistry speaks volumes and the volume is up loud and clearly saying, "Throw the ball in his court, sis."
Verbal Hints
This is more than likely the case for most of my millennial babes when it comes to meeting men via social apps. Most people have social media buddies or crushes that they chat with on a regular through DM, but even though you're chatting, you could be unsure what the vibe is with that person if they aren't sending you direct heart eye emojis. An easy way of knowing if he's worth scoring an alley-oop on is if he is being extremely flirtatious with you. When he's giving you compliments, saying nice things to keep you inspired or motivated, or showing interest in you, in general, he's giving you an open opportunity to show interest back. He's more than likely testing the waters to see how he can get in good graces with you and, if you're digging him, this is the ultimate time to let him know he's appreciated and slide him that number so you can text and not chat through DM.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Is The Man In Your Life Pursuing You Or Playing You?
Sis, Would You Shoot Your Shot?
Women Are Shooting Their Shot On Twitter And Receiving Surprising Responses
I Met Him In An UberPOOL & Now We're Married!
Featured image by Shutterstock.
- How To Tell If She Wants You To Make A Move - Introverted Alpha ›
- 5 Signs You Should Make the First Move | Her Campus ›
- The First Move Mistake Each Zodiac Sign Makes, According To Eric ... ›
- Will He Ever Make The First Move? 11 Signs You Might Need To ›
- Zodiacs Ranked By How Likely They Are To Make The First Move ›
- 6 Zodiac Signs Who Make The First Move In Dating, According To ... ›
- 7 Signs You Should Just Make the First Move Already, As Told by ... ›
Corein Carter is a Los Angeles-based blogger, content creator and podcaster. The New Jersey native has had a love affair with words since she began penning poetry in high school and later went on to study journalism at WSSU. The self-proclaimed "Naturalista" embodies all things spiritual, plant-based, and self-care in both her daily life and through writing. You may recognize Corein's captivating voice and well-rounded perspectives from her fast growing podcast "Play on Words". Follow her journey on Twitter and Instagram @inlivingcolored.
Exclusive: Dreka Gates Talks Farm Life, Self-Mastery, And Her Wellness Brand
Dreka Gates is making a name in wellness through authenticity and innovativeness. Although we were introduced to her as a music manager for her husband, Kevin Gates, she has now carved out her own lane outside of music as a wellness entrepreneur. But according to Dreka, this is nothing new.
In an xoNecole exclusive, the mom of two opened up about many things, including starting her wellness journey at 13 years old. However, a near-death experience during a procedure at 20 made her start taking her health more seriously.
“There's so many different levels, and now, I'm in a space of just integrating all of this good stuff that I've learned just about just being human, you know?” Dreka tells us. “So it's also fun because it's like a journey of self-discovery and self-mastery. That's what I call it. So it's never-ending.”
Courtesy
If you follow Dreka, then you’re familiar with her holistic lifestyle, as she’s no stranger to promoting wellness, self-care, and holistic living. She even lives part-time on a Mississippi farm, not far from her grandmother and great-grandmother’s farm, where she spent some summers as a child.
While her grandmother and great-grandmother have passed on, Dreka reflects on that time in her life and how having a farm as an adult is her getting back to her roots. “So the farm was purchased back in 2017, and it was like, ah, that'll just be a place where we go when we're not touring or whatever,” she said.
“But COVID hit, and I was there, and I was on the land, and I just started remembering back to going to my grandmother's during the summertime and freaking picking peas and going and eating mulberries off the freaking tree in the bushes.
“And she literally had cotton plants. I know some people feel weird about picking cotton and stuff. She had cotton plants and I would go and pick cotton out of her garden. And she had chickens, and I literally just broke down in tears one day when I was on the farm just doing all the things, and I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh. I'm literally getting back to my roots.”
"I literally just broke down in tears one day when I was on the farm just doing all the things, and I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh. I'm literally getting back to my roots."
You can catch glimpses of Dreka’s farm life on Instagram, which shows her picking fruit and vegetables and loving on her animals like her camel Eessa. Her passion for growing and cultivating led her to try and grow all of her ingredients for her wellness brand, Dreka Wellness. However, she quickly realized that she might be biting off more than she could chew. But that didn’t stop her from fulfilling her vision.
Watch below as Dreka talks more about her business, her wellness tips, breaking toxic cycles, becoming a doula, and more.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy
Tia Mowry Details The Status Of Her Relationship With Twin Sister Tamera
When we think of iconic sister duos, twin stars Tia and Tamera are often the first that come to mind. However, it seems their once inseparable bond may have drifted apart over the years.
During a sneak peek of her all-new docuseries on We TV, Tia Mowry: My Next Act, the Sister, Sister actress spoke openly about her new life following her divorce from ex-husband Cory Hardrict.
"I came into this world with a twin, and right after that, I went into a 22-year relationship," Tia shared, referring to her 14-year-long marriage with Hardrict. In the clip, she also added how challenging it’s been to cope with online chatter concerning her public separation. "People are wanting to know what happened and why it happened so much that they are trying to create narratives and stories in their own head and then putting it out there," she says.
Courtesy
Tia reveals that after signing her divorce papers, she had to immediately return to work, making it difficult for her to fully process the situation without support. "I wasn't really able to fully process what really was going on," she shared. "I knew what was going on, I knew what I was doing, but I didn't have time to just stop and really process what had just happened."
"Being alone has been the most challenging part of my divorce,” Tia added. “It's times like this when I feel and wish that my sister and I were still close and I could pick up the phone and call her, but that's just not where we are right now."
However, signs of a riff in their relationship have been present for some time.
In May, Tamera spoke withET's Denny Directo at the 49th annual Gracie Awards and shared that she didn’t plan on playing Cupid for her sister Tia, following her divorce.
“See, this is the thing, Tia is living her life right now and Tia is doing Tia,” she told the reporter. “I feel like she doesn’t want any of our input right now, and I can only respect that.”
"I think she is doing her,” Tamera added.
When Tia's reality show was first announced in April, Tamera told ET that the news came as a surprise to her, as she only found out after it was made public.
"I didn't know until I found out with the rest of the world," she said. When asked if she would appear on Tia’s new series, Tamera responded candidly, "She didn't ask me. She didn't, so I take that as no."
In the past, Tia and Tamera have alluded to communication breakdowns, most apparently in their reality TV show, Tia & Tamera. On the show, the two discussed preferring to resolve issues through email rather than phone calls to avoid potential disagreements. In one episode, Tamera candidly admitted, "We really don’t have any" communication skills.
“I think we get defensive; it escalates to something more than what the argument was really about,” Tamera told her sister at the time. “We end up yelling at each other.”
“That’s not a good way of communicating. My way isn’t a good way of communicating and your way isn’t a good way of communicating,” Tia added. “And we need to find better ways of communicating.”
Now Tia embarking on a new journey with her show, Tia Mowry: My Next Act, premiering on Friday, October 4 at 9:30 p.m. ET/PT on We TV. The eight-episode reality series follows Tia as she “navigates her newly single status, a new phase of motherhood, as well as building businesses and juggling her ever-evolving career,” while reclaiming the narrative around her life and relationship post-divorce.
"I mean, I'm all about being authentic,” Tia told PEOPLE about the show in July. "[The show will] basically dive in and show the world who I am as a person. And I really wanted to do this to share my story.
She continued. "I feel like a lot of people were creating narratives without knowing a story and understanding me and understanding my feelings. And this is my opportunity to use that platform to share my truth."
Having always been part of a duo — first as a twin sister and later as a wife — Tia is now ready to embrace her independence. And we’re here for the journey.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Arnold Turner/Getty Images for ESSENCE