7 Not-Discussed-Enough Signs That He's Absolutely NOT 'The One'
The one. If you got a group of 50 single women together (single women who desire to be in a long-term relationship, that is) and you asked them what they were waiting on when it came to being in something serious, I wouldn't be shocked if at least half of them said, "I'm waiting on 'the one'." The one who they love above anyone else. The one who seems like their soulmate. The one they want to spend the rest of their life with.
That's beautiful. No sarcasm. Love, when it's right, is the absolute ultimate. Yet sometimes, I feel like term "the one" gets romanticized so much that we overlook the very practical side of what being with that kind of man really is. So, let's explore that a bit. Via personal experience, a lot of observation, working with countless couples and even due to a bit of reading, here are seven conclusions I've come to as it relates to determining when someone absolutely isn't the one — no matter how much it seems like the opposite…on the surface.
1. You’re Not Clear on What “The One” Is
While this one might catch you off guard a bit, I think if I break it down a little bit more, some dots may connect. Sometimes, in our quest for "the one", we're not even really thinking about what role we want that person to serve in our life…because we're not absolutely clear on what kind of relationship would best serve us. What I mean by that is, do you really want to be married or have you been programmed — by family, friends, religion, the media — to think that you should be? Do you think that a soulmate automatically means that someone is absolutely perfect for you when really, since no one is without flaw, a perfect fit doesn't realistically exist (a great complement does, though. Check out "If He's Right For You, He Will COMPLEMENT Your Life"); therefore, you're kinda already setting yourself up for either non-stop or earth-shattering disappointment? Do you think that once you meet a suitable companion that giving them the title of being "the one" means that they will be your all and all (which is too much pressure to put on any one individual…ever)?
It's really hard to know if you've met "the one" if you don't have a good understanding of what that should mean and what that would require.
So, what do I think the one should be? The person who helps you to feel safe; especially safe within your authentic self. The person who brings consistent peace to your spirit. The person who challenges you to become a better version of yourself. The person who causes you to feel truly seen. The person who is a real advocate for your purpose. The person who loves, respects and celebrates you. The person who holds you accountable (without any pushback on your part because, again, you trust them). The person who doesn't make the thought of a long-term commitment freak you out. The person who you know you didn't settle for by choosing them. The person who is a true spiritual match.
When you can meet a person who checks these boxes off — and they are able to say that you do the same thing for them — you've definitely met someone who is in a league all their own. And the really cool thing is it's based in what's real — not some trumped up fantasy or even something that was birthed out of other people's pressure and expectations of what "your one" should be.
2. His Words and Actions Don’t Align
Now that we've touched a little bit on what a healthy definition of "the one" is, let's get into some signs of when a man absolutely is not the one for you. Let's start with when his words and actions are not in agreement with one another. I believe I've shared before that if there is a huge challenge that words of affirmation people go through (and I definitely am one), it's sometimes, we're so moved by what comes out of someone's mouth that we don't really expect them to do much more beyond that. For example, if they say, "I love you", oftentimes that can be enough and so it can take us a while to be like, "Hold up. When's the last time you did something that actually showed it, though?"
And here's the thing about words. If you look at them from a spiritual (in this case, I mean biblical) perspective, we are created in the image of the literal One who spoke words and things manifested once he did (Genesis 1-2). God said let there be light…and it was so. So yeah, we should see ourselves and others as literal vessels who also have the ability and power to definitely say something…and then make something happen as a direct result of the words that we said.
So yeah, sis. I don't care how much flattery he speaks, how many assurances he's given or how many promises he's made, there is no way that you trust in or rely on someone who doesn't actually treat his words like action verbs. If what I just said is a totally foreign concept to you…that's not good. And if you're with someone who is like this, that's a pretty telling sign that he's probably not the one for you. At least not right now, he isn't.
3. Your Value Systems Totally Clash
For many years, there was a guy from my past who I totally considered to be the one who got away. I felt that so profoundly in my spirit that some people in my world referred to him as that rather than using his actual name. Anyway, back in 2015, when I went on my heart pieces tour (check out "Why Every Woman Should Go On A 'Get Your Heart Pieces Back' Tour"), he was one of the people I connected with to get some of the answers that I needed in order to gain some real closure. That conversation lasted for hours and while that man is still sexy as hell, is thriving more than ever and I definitely get why we connected all those years back in the way that we did, when he started to share with me where he was spiritually and what some of his future goals were, I got that we had grown apart on levels that would definitely prevent us from living in any kind of harmony now. Past some climbing-the-walls sex and witty banter, we probably couldn't offer each other more than that. We just value different things now.
Two people having different values and standards isn't bad overall. It's absolutely horrifying, though, if you're trying to create a life with another person on a very intimate level. Matter of fact, I know a married woman now who loves her husband and yet regrets marrying him because she downplayed just how much some of their core values clashed back when they were dating. Listen, there are all kinds of people that you can love because you like them, you respect them and you enjoy them. It's a whole 'nother ball game when you're contemplating living with them and making little humans with them.
While relationships are all about compromise, if there's one area that should not be up for bending, it's your value system. If you and he aren't on the same page in this area, he's probably meant to be a friend. Or someone who taught you to put your values above a relationship — which is actually a really great lesson to learn.
4. He Doesn’t Bring You Peace (and/or You Don’t Bring Him Any)
Let me tell it, the reason why a lot of us don't prioritize peace as much as we should is because we didn't grow up in a household that had much of it to start with. And since there was so much chaos surrounding the people we shared that space with professed to love us, as adults, many of us think that love and turmoil/drama/a lack of harmony not only can coexist but should. Uh-uh. If you don't get anything else outta this, hear me when I say that no one is your one if they don't bring you peace — and they can't say that you do the same thing for them in return.
I've shared before that peace is a really layered, powerful and profound word, if you look at it from the Hebrew word "shalom". In modern-day Israel, when people greet one another with "shalom", what they are basically saying is "may health and prosperity be upon you". Yet shalom also breaks down to reference wholeness, completeness, tranquility and harmony. And harmony? That's about being in agreement with someone. Being on one accord with someone. Having a friendship, feeling unified and living in a way with someone else that shows that the two of you truly do fit together.
Whenever I do interviews and folks ask me what I want in a relationship, holistic safety and peace are always at the top of my list. Because if he and I don't feel safe in each other's presence, if we don't bring each other the shalom kind of peace — what the heck are we doing together? No. Really.
5. He Doesn’t Complement Your Life
I actually wrote an entire article on this topic before (also check out "The Right Relationship IMPROVES Not CHANGES You"). So why am I bringing this point up again? For starters, it's because it really can't be said enough (trust me). Also, because I want to share what a wife has been telling me, on repeat, about how much her husband absolutely does not complement her — and they are going on 20 years of being together. While I've got to respect the fact that she is honoring the vows that she took and so, for her, divorce is not an option (a lot of people are really flippant about the promises that they make; that is unfortunate), I must admit that she is a bit of a cautionary tale. She knows it too.
You know, I recently read a tweet that said something along the lines of, "Some of y'all are realizing that you never really wanted a man in your life. What you actually wanted was a son." Whew (check out "Are You His Partner Or His Second Mama?"). That said, my friend has been told, for years, including by her husband, that she can be pretty controlling and bossy. Not all of the time yet enough of it. And so, it would appear that she initially went into her relationship with her man to initially "make him better". It was all about her appointing herself to be his improvement plan. The problem with this is 1) that's not any grown person's job to do in someone else's life; 2) being so arrogant as to think someone else needs work and you don't is a recipe for ending up with mud all over your face, and 3) looking to change him means that she was more focused on what he had the potential to become than who he actually was/is.
As a direct result, she ended up doing what far too many people do — she married potential. A lot of that potential has never actualized because her husband doesn't want to become who she thinks he should be. He's content being the man that he is — and on some levels, has always been. Plus, since she's been more focused on him than she probably should, that has hindered her from growing as much as she needs to as well.
And that's the part of someone complementing another individual that isn't discussed, nearly enough. The literal definition of complement is "something that completes or makes perfect". Complete means "lacking nothing". While far too many people are out here looking for someone who will give them whatever they want on a tangible or monetary level, emotionally mature folks get that a true "lacking nothing" is someone who helps them to soar on a mental, emotional and spiritual level.
"The one" will fit you in such a way that you can't help but to become better as the result of them being in your life, as they are able to say the same thing about you. If you can't say that a man complements you, why would you stay with them? Being complemented is one of the best things about being in an intimate relationship. Straight up.
6. You’re Constantly “Convincing” Him
One of the joys of being single is the fact that when you're dating someone, you don't have to act like you're married to them…because you aren't (check out "7 Things That Make Marriage Different From Seriously Dating"). This means that even if you love a guy and/or you've been with him forever and/or you are in something long-term, it's still so much easier to leave because there is no contract (which is pretty much what a marriage license is) between the two of you. I'm not saying that ending the relationship won't hurt (check out "Why You Need To Grieve Your Past Relationship"). I'm saying that since you didn't say "until death parts us", why pressure yourself to act like you did?
Same thing goes with staying with someone to the point where either you feel like you have to keep convincing him to stay — or you've got to convince your own self to do it. And listen, this point can sneak up on you in some pretty cryptic ways. If you're constantly arguing and yet convincing yourselves to work it out, if you there are more bad days than good and yet you keep convincing yourselves that the good days are worth it, if you feel deep within you that there is probably more that you should be having and yet you too are afraid to let each other go to see what other possibilities are in store — those are some ways that you are definitely convincing yourself to stay. And sis, that's not loyalty. That's fear.
There's no way around the fact that relationships, even healthy ones, have their ups and downs. Yet you know what? When a relationship is both good and beneficial, two people don't spend a lot of time convincing themselves to stick it out. The dynamic is so good that it's worth hanging in and the drama is so far and few between that it doesn't feel like a ton of grueling work.
7. You Are Never Satisfied
As a marriage life coach, I 1000 percent believe that a leading cause of divorce that isn't brought up, nearly enough, is the fact that two people who went into their marriage not knowing how to be satisfied and so, they had totally unrealistic expectations when it came to wanting the union, including their spouse, to "make them content". What in the world? If you haven't mastered how to be satisfied — fulfilled, happy, supplied, positive, alive — within yourself, what the heck is some other flawed human being supposed to do? Good lord. Amazing how many folks want someone else to do what they won't even do for themselves. That's another message for another time, though.
For now, as I close this out, I want to drive home the point that someone isn't the one for you, not if they can't satisfy you (some folks out here are so greedy, needy or entitled that NO ONE could ever satisfy them); no, the clincher is they aren't for you if they get you out of the satisfactory feeling that you (should) already have within— with or without their presence.
Here's what I mean by that. I can't tell you how many divorced people I know who are thrilled to be apart from their former spouse. And one of the main things that a lot of them tell me is that they feel more content than they ever had because their partner was constantly nagging and/or trying to change them and/or constantly wanting more and/or always moving the bar and/or causing them to doubt themselves. That's hell on earth, y'all.
The one? That's someone who only adds surplus to the satisfaction that you already feel. You're content, so they come in and cause you to feel…even more content. So, you know what that means, right? You've gotta get good with yourself, so that you can actually tell who is incapable of supporting you in remaining in the state of satisfaction that you're already in (alone). Bottom line, if you're with someone and you don't feel any of this — it's either because you need some time to get right with you or the dissatisfied emotions are alerting you that they aren't "your one".
Do I think "the one" is possible? A thousand times yes. I just think we need to be a lot more practical in our thinking about it. Your one isn't some Prince Charming. He's someone who comes in and supports you being a better self. The one is who will bring you closer to your ideal self. Anything short of that is settling. Anything less? He's probably not your "the one".
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
RELATED
For years, studying
zodiac sign compatibility has been a fascinating journey for those who want to understand the dynamics of their relationships better. Between the first date debates of Cheesecake Factory vs. coffee shops, we truly understand that sometimes looking to a higher power to guide you on who to date sounds like a good idea. So, it is no surprise that people often turn to Astrology to gain insights into their compatibility with others.
Since no one covers dating, love and relationships, and sex as we do at xoNecole, this guide will delve into the intriguing world of zodiac sign compatibility. Here is everything you want to know about how each sign interacts with others, how the planets impact compatibility and what are the most and least compatible zodiac signs.
Zodiac Compatibility Chart
(March 21-April 19) | (April 20-May 20) | (May 21-June 20) |
(June 21-July 22) | (July 23-August 22) | (August 23-September 22) |
(September 23-October 22) | (October 23-November 21) | (November 22-December 21) |
(December 22-January 19) | (January 20-February 18) | (February 19-March 20) |
Table of Contents
- The Big Three In Astrology: Sun, Moon & Rising Signs
- Cusp Signs and Compatibility
- What Makes Someone's Zodiac Sign Compatible
- Planets That Help Shape Zodiac Sign Compatibility
- The Most Compatible Zodiac Signs
- Love Matches by Sun Sign
- Least Compatible Zodiac Signs
- Opposite Signs and Compatibility
- Conclusion
The Big Three In Astrology: Sun, Moon & Rising Signs
But there is more to zodiac compatibility than just your sign. Even if you are slightly into Astrology, you’ve heard of the sun, moon, and rising signs. This is also called the "Big Three" referring to the three essential components of an individual's birth chart.
These components provide insights into their personality, emotions, and outward demeanor. Together, they offer a comprehensive view of a person's astrological profile, shedding light on various aspects of their life and character.
Evheniia Vasylenko
The Sun Sign
Key Characteristics:
- Represents the core of one's identity
- Governs one's ego, basic personality, and life purpose
- Determines one's zodiac sign (e.g., Aries, Taurus, Gemini, etc.)
- Reflects the conscious self and how one expresses themselves
Your sun sign is the most well-known aspect of your Astrology chart. It represents the essence of your being, your fundamental motivations, and your core personality traits. When people ask, "What's your sign?" they usually refer to your sun sign.
- Aries (March 21 - April 19)
- Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
- Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
- Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
- Leo (July 23 - August 22)
- Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
- Libra (September 23 - October 22)
- Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
- Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
- Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
- Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
- Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
For example, if your sun sign is Leo, you will likely exhibit traits associated with Leo, such as confidence, creativity, and a natural flair for leadership. Your sun sign is like the spotlight that shines on your outer self, revealing who you are to the world.
Astro expert Avalldar Astrology says, "For many people, the Sun will not necessarily be the most influential placement when it comes to romantic compatibility, precisely because we have entire charts that we need to look at in order to see all the dynamics at play between all the planets."
The Moon Sign
Key Characteristics:
- Represents one's emotional nature, instincts, and subconscious mind
- Governs emotional reactions, feelings, and inner desires
- Determines one's zodiac sign based on the Moon's position at birth
- Reflects the inner, emotional self and how one processes emotions
While the sun sign represents your conscious self, the moon sign delves into your emotional world. It provides insights into your innermost feelings, reactions, and instincts. Your moon sign influences how you respond emotionally to various situations and process your inner world.
For example, if your moon sign is Cancer, you may be deeply sensitive, nurturing, and strongly connected to your family. Your moon sign can reveal why you react emotionally in specific ways and what brings you emotional fulfillment.
The Rising Sign (Ascendant)
Key Characteristics:
- Represents the mask or persona you present to the world
- Governs your outward behavior, first impressions, and physical appearance
- Determines one's zodiac sign based on the position of the Ascendant at birth
- Reflects the way you interact with the world and your immediate environment
The rising sign, also known as the Ascendant, is the sign that was on the horizon at the exact time of your birth. It represents the image or facade you project to others, your first impression, and your approach to the world. It's often described as the "mask" you wear in public.
For instance, if your rising sign is Virgo, you may come across as organized, detail-oriented, and practical when you meet new people. Your rising sign influences your appearance and how you present yourself.
Cusp Signs and Compatibility
Now let’s explore more about cusp signs and what that means for your compatibility. Cusp signs occur when an individual's sun sign is near the beginning or end of a zodiac sign, resulting in a blend of characteristics from both signs. Think Cancer (June 21 - July 22) sign born right at the end of the zodiac date of July 22.
For example, if someone is born on March 21, their sun sign would be Aries, but they are on the cusp of Pisces and Aries because the zodiac sign changes from Pisces to Aries on or around March 20. As a result, cusp individuals often exhibit traits from both adjacent signs.
When it comes to cusp signs, compatibility can be as intricate as the sun, moon, and rising signs. A few things to consider when thinking about dating someone who is on the cusp are shared traits, open communication, and individual variability. Effective communication is vital in any relationship. Cusp individuals may benefit from openly discussing their unique blend of traits with potential partners to foster understanding and avoid misunderstandings.
What Makes Someone’s Zodiac Sign Compatible?
First, know there are so many different types of Astrology, and different astrologers use different combinations, formulas, and theories to draw their conclusions for compatibility. In general, zodiac sign compatibility is the idea that particular signs are naturally more compatible due to their shared traits, while others may clash.
However, one way to get a better sense of compatibility, at least outside of the zodiac signs, is by examining the elements (fire, earth, air, water), modality ( cardinal, fixed, mutable), and extensively, aspects (conjunctions, trine, squares, and sextiles extensively).
Sounds confusing? We know, so let us explain.
The Elements of the Zodiac: Fire, Earth, Air, and Water
There are four elements in Astrology: fire, earth, air, and water. Signs of the same element often share common characteristics and are more likely to get along.
While signs within the same element tend to have good compatibility, there can also be strong connections between signs from complementary elements. For example, fire and air signs often get along well due to their shared enthusiasm and communication skills. Similarly, earth and water signs can form deep emotional bonds.
Zodiac Compatibility in Sex and Friendship
Fire Signs: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius
Characteristics and Qualities: Fire signs are known for their passion and energy while also being adventurous and impulsive.
Sex Compatibility: Due to that passion and energy, when two fire signs come together, their sexual connection can be intense and filled with excitement.
Friendship Compatibility: Their enthusiasm and energy will continue to drive the enjoyment of adventurous and dynamic friendships with fellow fire signs.
Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
Characteristics and Qualities:Earth signs are typically grounded and practical and are characterized as patient and reliable.
Sex Compatibility: Earth signs are sensual and grounded. They appreciate physical touch and connection. Physical intimacy tends to be fulfilling and harmonious in relationships between earth signs. A Taurus is focused on pleasure, and a Virgo is focused on pleasing, so this is a good match for both of them.
Friendship Compatibility: Earth signs value stability and practicality. They tend to form grounded and dependable friendships with other earth signs.
Air Signs: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius.
Characteristics and Qualities: Often described as intellectual, communicative, social, and flexible.
Sex Compatibility: Air signs are intellectually driven and enjoy mental stimulation. For them, communication is a key aspect of sexual compatibility. When two air signs connect, their mental rapport can enhance their sexual experiences.
Friendship Compatibility: Air signs are intellectually driven and enjoy stimulating conversations. They often have intellectually engaging friendships with fellow air signs
Water Signs: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces.
Characteristics and Qualities: Water signs are emotional, intuitive, empathetic, and sensitive.
Sex Compatibility: Water signs are emotional and intuitive. They seek deep emotional connections in their relationships, which can translate into profoundly satisfying sexual experiences when two water signs come together.
Friendship Compatibility: Water signs are emotional and intuitive. They tend to form deep and empathetic connections in their friendships with other water signs.
Quality aka Modalities
To take it a step further, let’s explore quality. Also known as modality, this refers to the mode of operation or the primary style of a zodiac sign. Each sign is categorized into one of three modalities: cardinal, fixed, or mutable, which describe the sign's general approach to life and how it interacts with the world.
- Cardinal Signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn): If your sign is cardinal, you're likely seen as a natural leader or initiator. You're often the person who starts projects, comes up with new ideas, and leads others towards a goal. You're dynamic and proactive but might need help with following through as you're always looking toward the next big thing.
- Fixed Signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius): Being a fixed sign means you're seen as stable, reliable, and persistent. You're the person who sees things through to the end, displaying remarkable resilience and determination. You excel in maintaining and nurturing projects or relationships but may sometimes be perceived as stubborn or resistant to change.
- Mutable Signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces): If you're a mutable sign, adaptability is your forte. You're flexible and versatile, able to adjust to new situations with ease. You're the person who can go with the flow and make the best out of changing circumstances. However, this can also mean you might find it hard to stick to decisions or be seen as inconsistent.
Aspects
Aspects in Astrology are about the angles formed between planets in your birth chart, reflecting the interactions between different parts of your personality. These aspects can be harmonious or challenging, shaping your character and life experiences.
- Conjunctions (0 degrees): When two planets align closely, their energies merge and intensify, creating a focal point of power or tension in a birth chart. This can be harmonious or challenging, depending on the planets involved.
- Squares (90 degrees): Representing challenges and obstacles, squares force us out of our comfort zone, propelling us towards growth through struggle and resistance. This also indicates challenges or internal conflicts and learning through overcoming obstacles.
- Trines (120 degrees): The trine is a flow of energy that brings ease and harmony, highlighting natural talents and facilitating effortless success in the areas affected. This aspect often reflects your talents or areas where you succeed with little effort.
Examples include Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius ( fire signs), as we mentioned above, so it comes as no surprise these signs are compatible.
- Sextiles (60 degrees): The aspect is when the planets are about two planets apart. This harmonious angle can be opportunities presenting chances for growth and learning. They require some effort to utilize but generally support your progress.
For example just to name a few, Aries sextiles Gemini and Aquarius. Taurus sextiles Cancer and Pisces. Gemini sextiles Aries and Leo. And Cancer sextiles Taurus and Virgo.
- Oppositions (180 degrees): Have you ever heard of the phrase opposites attract? Here, planets sit across from each other, creating a tug-of-war effect that can lead to tension but can also lead to significant personal growth through understanding opposing viewpoints. This aspect shows tension or conflicting interests, bringing out the need for balance and compromise.
Overall, understanding these concepts can offer a more nuanced view of your zodiac sign, revealing strengths, weaknesses, and potential growth areas. It can help you understand why you might gravitate towards certain behaviors or patterns in life and how you can use this knowledge for personal development and better relationships with others.
Planets That Help Shape Zodiac Sign Compatibility
So, what do the planets have to do with compatibility among zodiac signs? As we mentioned, a harmonious aspect (like a trine or sextile) between these planets in two individuals' birth charts can indicate strong compatibility, while challenging aspects (like squares or oppositions) might point to areas of growth, tension, or conflict.
The Sun- the very essence of our being. In relationships, it reflects our basic personality, our ego, and our core identity. When sun signs are compatible, it often indicates a natural understanding and appreciation of each other's fundamental nature, a key ingredient for lasting connections.
Sign it governs: Leo
The Moon- the realm of emotions, instincts, and the subconscious. Moon sign compatibility delves deeper, beyond the surface level of interactions, touching the heart of our emotional needs and nurturing instincts. A harmonious moon sign connection can mean a deeply satisfying emotional rapport and understanding, a feeling of "coming home" when you're with your partner.
Sign it governs: Cancer
Mercury- the planet of communication. Mercury’s influence dictates how we think and communicate, which is essential in understanding and resolving conflicts in relationships. Compatible Mercury signs often find a natural flow in conversation, understanding each other's thought processes and perspectives with ease.
Sign it governs: Gemini and Virgo
Venus - the goddess of love and beauty, representing how we express love and what we seek in relationships. Venus sign compatibility is a key player in romantic attraction and shared values in love, dictating the harmony in how love is given and received.
Signs it governs: Taurus and Libra
Mars - the planet of action and desire. Mars influences our drive, our passions, and, yes, our sexual energy. Compatible Mars signs can lead to a fiery and dynamic connection, full of passion and vitality.
Sign it governs: Aries
Jupiter - the planet of luck and expansion. Jupiter's influence in a relationship can signify growth, optimism, and a sense of adventure, bringing a joyous and expanding quality to the bond.
Sign it governs: Sagittarius
Saturn - the teacher, representing discipline, responsibility, and long-term commitments. Saturn's role in compatibility is often about the durability and seriousness of the relationship, ensuring that the bond is not just fleeting passion but has the strength to endure challenges.
Sign it governs: Capricorn
The Most Compatible Zodiac Signs
1. Leo and Libra
When Leo and Libra are together, they are almost always the center of attention! With Leo being ruled by the Sun, they know how to satisfy the Libra's desire to be appreciated and reassured. With Libra being ruled by Venus, they know how to shower Leo with the love and attention that they deserve. Both Leo and Libra know how to bring out each other's true star power and help each other grow into their best selves.
2. Scorpio and Pisces
The watery pair of Scorpio and Pisces just instantly understand each other. Although not many others can match Scorpio's intense and passionate energy, Pisces is almost always up for the task! These two are able to be truly vulnerable with each other and appreciate the depth of their connection. Pisces' intuitive side always knows how to break through Scorpio's barriers and immediately knows how to comfort them. Scorpio challenges Pisces to take a walk on the wild side; Pisces encourages Scorpio to be themselves.
3. Aquarius and Sagittarius
Aquarius and Sagittarius never have a dull moment with each other! Sagittarians are always in pursuit of knowledge and live for adventure. Aquarians love to discover the most unique subjects and are always down for a good debate. This pair knows how to mentally stimulate each other. Although they both value their independence, they know how to effectively divide and conquer. They both enjoy learning from each other and helping each other explore new territories.
4. Taurus and Cancer
With Cancer's protective nature and Taurus' romantic tendencies, these two are one of the most loving couples ever! Tauruses help Cancers to ground themselves and provide them with the comfort and stability that they crave. Cancers help Tauruses get comfortable with expressing their emotional sides and make them feel appreciated. This couple is the epitome of the phrase, "Home is where the heart is." They truly understand how to make the other feel at peace and how to cater to each other's love languages.
5. Virgo and Capricorn
Virgo and Capricorn are the power couple of the zodiac! These two earth signs know how to get things done when they are together and can truly motivate each other. They both want to see each other win and will supply each other with the encouragement that they need. Virgo and Capricorn almost instantly bond over their witty sense of humor and their intellect. Virgo shows Capricorn how to appreciate the small things in life; Capricorn shows Virgo how to see the bigger picture from a new perspective.
6. Aries and Gemini
When Aries and Gemini are together, the conversation almost never stops! These two know how to keep things going and will always be the life of the party. The passion between these two signs is almost unmatched! Aries knows how to perfectly capture Gemini's attention and keep the relationship fresh. The Gemini values all of the Aries' complexities and knows exactly how to keep their fire alive. Gemini teaches Aries that life does not have to always be so serious. Even as a couple, these two are genuinely the best of friends!
Love Matches by Each Sun Sign
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Best Matches: Leo, Sagittarius, Gemini
Good Matches: Aquarius, Libra
Read More: Aries Woman And Aquarius Man Love Compatibility
Read More: The Love Compatibility Of A Libra Woman And An Aries Man
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Best Matches: Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer
Good Matches: Pisces, Scorpio
Read More: Pisces Woman And Taurus Man Love Compatibility
Read More: Watch This Taurus & Capricorn Love Match Put Their Relationship To The Compatibility Test
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Best Matches: Libra, Aquarius, Aries
Good Matches: Leo, Sagittarius
Read More: Gemini Woman And Leo Man Love Compatibility
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Best Matches: Scorpio, Pisces, Taurus
Good Matches: Virgo, Capricorn
Read More: Cancer Woman And Virgo Man Love Compatibility
Read More: Cancer Man And Libra Woman Love Compatibility
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Best Matches: Aries, Sagittarius, Gemini
Good Matches: Libra, Aquarius
Read More: Leo Woman And Capricorn Man Love Compatibility
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Best Matches: Taurus, Capricorn, Cancer
Good Matches: Scorpio, Pisces
Read More: The Love Compatibility Of A Virgo Woman And Scorpio Man
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Best Matches: Gemini, Aquarius, Leo
Good Matches: Aries, Sagittarius
Read More: Pisces Woman And Libra Man Love Compatibility
Read More: Libra Man And Cancer Woman Love Compatibility
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Best Matches: Cancer, Pisces, Taurus
Good Matches: Virgo, Capricorn
Read More: Scorpio Woman And Aries Man Love Compatibility
Read More: The Love Compatibility Between A Scorpio Woman And A Cancer Man
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Best Matches: Aries, Leo, Gemini
Good Matches: Libra, Aquarius
Read More: The Love Compatibility Between A Sagittarius Woman And Leo Man
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Best Matches: Taurus, Virgo, Cancer
Good Matches: Scorpio, Pisces
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Best Matches: Gemini, Libra, Aries
Good Matches: Leo, Sagittarius
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Best Matches: Cancer, Scorpio, Taurus
Good Matches: Virgo, Capricorn
Least Compatible Zodiac Signs
So you’ve read all about how you should analyze which zodiac sign is the most compatible for you. But what about signs you should avoid? For these, not only do the zodiacs come into play, but also the elements and modalities of each. Here are the least compatible zodiac signs.
1. Sagittarius and Taurus
Sagittarius and Taurus incompatibility is more obvious than most matches on this list. Sagittarius wants to be on a plane, and Taurus wants to be at home. Taurus wants tangible results, and Sagittarius finds happiness in exploring the mind and different ideals. This pairing isn’t the most compatible because they both want very different things in life, not to mention they are always at a different pace.
2. Scorpio and Gemini
Scorpio and Gemini together create chaos. Although they have a lot of fun together, this pairing is better off seen in a working environment, rather than a romantic one. The thing about Scorpio and Gemini is that they don’t get each other. It’s hard to understand where the other person is coming from, which often leads to miscommunication and hurt feelings between them.
3. Aquarius and Cancer
Aquarius and Cancer rarely get involved romantically together, as this pairing does better in a friendship than a relationship. Cancer can seem like too much for aloof Aquarius, and Aquarius can be too in their head for Cancer’s heart-centered, emotional energy. Cancer tends to be intrigued by Aquarius. However, the relationship is usually one-sided. Cancer will often feel like they are giving their all, but that is never enough for Aquarius, who may acknowledge Cancer’s efforts, but at the end of the day, it’s not what Aquarius needs to feel fulfilled romantically.
4. Capricorn and Leo
Capricorn and Leo have too many power struggles and ego conflicts in order to make the relationship peaceful and positive. Disagreements often arise within this partnership, and they have to work especially hard for the relationship to progress and grow. The thing about this couple is that Leo wants to be adored and cherished, and Capricorn isn’t about the theatrics.
Capricorn likes to take things slow and gradually evolve as a couple, whereas if Leo isn’t getting everything they need right away, they will feel let down and unloved. In order for this partnership to work, there needs to be compromise and honesty about what is expected within the relationship.
5. Libra and Virgo
Now, this pairing is on the list of least compatible because they are constantly questioning where each other stands and are rarely on the same page. This isn’t a complete disaster for a relationship, but it’s definitely not the top recommended either. The thing about Libra is that they don’t really get Virgo and Virgo’s meticulous thought process. Virgo feels the same way about Libra and thinks they spend too much time on things that aren’t as important to Virgo.
Communication can be good here as they are both more mentally active signs. However, Libra tends to be someone that Virgo never seems to fully grasp. They are both nurturing individuals, but in a relationship, they tend to feel like they aren’t getting what they need.
Opposite Signs and Compatibility aka Sister Signs
Ever wondered why you are attracted to someone completely opposite then you? This can be explained by the term sister signs. A sister sign is the zodiac sign located in the exact opposite position of your sign on the zodiac wheel. The relationship between opposite signs can be either soulmate energy or very challenging if both parties aren’t willing to look at their reflection and learn from each other.
Evheniia Vasylenko
The sister signs in Astrology are:
- Aries and Libra
- Taurus and Scorpio
- Gemini and Sagittarius
- Cancer and Capricorn
- Leo and Aquarius
- Virgo and Pisces
For example, with a Gemini, this pairing is all about having fun and expressing themselves. Gemini and Sagittarius, in many other pairings, often feel misunderstood, but these two match energy. Being both explorers of life, Gemini’s inner curiosity and Sagittarius’ need to know more make for not only good conversation but exciting experiences together as well.
Is An “Incompatible” Relationship Based on Zodiac Signs Doomed?
It's a myth that certain zodiac signs are destined to be incompatible. While your natal chart might reveal challenging dynamics, it doesn't dictate the success or failure of a relationship. Instead, it provides insights into areas where you might need to exert more effort or make adaptations. Understanding this can help you navigate relationships more effectively, regardless of astrological compatibility.
Rather than viewing your chart solely for compatibility, use it as a tool for deeper self-understanding. Focusing on planets like Venus, Jupiter, or the Moon can reveal key aspects of how you seek emotional comfort and express love.
For instance, the Moon's placement can indicate your emotional needs and comforts, while Venus may reveal how you prefer to give and receive love. Jupiter, on the other hand, sheds light on the ways you feel most comfortable in providing for your partner. Recognizing these aspects can help couples understand their values and find common ground.
Conclusion
While astrology can provide valuable insights into potential compatibility, it's essential to remember that real relationships are complex and multifaceted. Finding your cosmic match is not solely determined by your zodiac sign but by shared values, communication, and understanding. Embrace the uniqueness of your relationships, and let the stars be a guiding light rather than a strict rule.
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- What You Really Need To Know About Compatibility Based On Zodiac Signs ›
Everybody wants a baecation, and we get it! What’s better than knocking boots in the beach cabanas in the Bahamas? Or, better yet, bent over, dangling off the balcony the way Big Red had Flash in Five Heartbeats. But, pleasurably so! It’s a one-of-one sensation – vacation sex. If we’re being honest, you probably don’t have to do all of that to have your senses heightened by vacation sex; as we’d imagine, so much of it is better because it has a lot to do with our mental state being so relaxed.
Vacation sex presents the perfect opportunity to show up and be present with our partners in ways that we’re not accustomed to doing in the day-to-day grind. It’s intimacy on a different level – intimacy without the distractions of bills, children, and such.
For this reason, the sex is going to be a hit anytime, anyplace, when it’s occurring even a 100-mile radius away from life. You don’t need a beach, and you probably don’t even need to leave the hotel room. What you’d been searching for but severely lacking? That was space and opportunity.
With that said, we thought we’d offer you 5 different sex positions based on the scenery or environment or scenery of your vacation.
1.Beachside Serenity
We’re kicking it off for the exhibitionists! If you’re going the typical beach vacation route, take advantage of the beach at sunset or under the moonlight. You may want to spray some mosquito repellent on, though. Just thinking ahead, here. But, we digress. Simple is better when it comes to the positions, in my opinion, because this is already a bold statement. Think sex positions like missionary or spooning, which also provide closeness and comfort.
Missionary is simple enough, and we’re all grown-grown, so we’re going to forgo the explanation here. And spooning is just cuddling with penetration – whoever is penetrating will be the big spoon.
2.Adventure Retreat
If you're in a more secluded and adventurous location, consider trying positions including but not limited to standing or bent over, using a stable surface like a rock or tree (we don’t recommend coming close to the edge if you’re on an elevated rock).
3.Luxury Suite Lovemaking
HBO
In a luxurious hotel room, explore sex positions that take advantage of the space and comfort. Examples of this include the Lotus or any position that allows you to make use of a large bed. In order to get into the Lotus, one partner will be seated in the center of the bed, legs crossed, and feet pulled in close to them. The other partner will climb on top, bringing the two of you face-to-face; find stability by embracing your partner – hugging them with your arms and legs. Ten out of ten recommend to the lover girls due to the tremendous amount of intimacy this position oozes.
4.Mountain Escape
If you're in a cozy cabin or mountain retreat, embrace the warmth of the indoors. Take advantage of the warm aesthetic! Cowhide rug meets cowgirl/reverse cowgirl, allowing you to enjoy the comfort of a plush bed or soft surface. Cowgirl is a highly coveted woman-on-top position. Reverse cowgirl is just you facing away from your partner.
But, in either variation, there are some things to consider. What’s your stroke game like? Are we bounding, grinding, figure-eighting? Or, a combination? Are we on our feet or our knees? It all comes down to preference, so you will want to play around and find what feels more comfortable to both you and your partner.
Also, know that reverse cowgirl offers an opportunity for optimal pleasure because it hits both the clitoris and the G-spot. You can also add a vibrator to the mix!
5.City Lights Connection
If you’re opting for a staycation or city streets are just your vacay style, for one reason or another, consider sex positions that offer excitement and variety. The tried, true, and beloved doggy style is one way to go and a fan favorite (let's be real here). It can be everything and/or nothing – as intimate or distant as you’d like it to be. It allows for some roughhousing – hair tugging, grabbing, and my favorite – back-scratching.
But most of all, remember to do what feels most comfortable for your relationship and sex life. As mentioned earlier, vacation sex can be a great opportunity when you realize it’s only novel because it offers you “space and opportunity” that may not always be present in the monotony of life.
So, don’t allow there to be an immense amount of pressure surrounding outdoing your other sex – your regular sex – if we’re right, that will come naturally because you’ll be so in the moment. So rested. And, so relaxed. Lean into that like a true cowgirl!
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