Indicators That The Chemistry You Feel Is The Real Thing
Chemistry. It's a word that you will probably hear described a million different ways. A connection, a spark, or a bond. However, you choose to describe it, we all know it when we feel it. Or, do we really? We all know that dopamine is a real thing, especially when it comes to new love. Sometimes when it wears off, we find that what we thought was chemistry was just that good ole dopamine and you really don't have chemistry with the person. While I have absolutely no idea what makes you have chemistry with one person and not another, I do know that it is a real thing.
Before we go further, let me clarify that chemistry should not be confused with finding someone attractive. While it is important to be attracted to your partner, just finding them cute is not going to cut it. I have dated my share of FINE men (thank you very much) that I was so attracted to physically, but once I spent time with them, there was absolutely no chemistry. At all. I mean none. I'd rather wash my hair or walk the dog (and I don't have a dog) than spend time with some of them. We've all been there though, so how do you know that the chemistry you feel with a person is the real thing and not just the dopamine talking?
Eye contact.
You can make eye contact with them and it's not awkward. Now that doesn't mean that you won't blush or sport that goofy grin when you look into their eyes every now and then, but when there is chemistry, making eye contact is comfortable for both of you. I've dated guys in the past where I would look anywhere but into their eyes because it just felt weird and uncomfortable. Turns out, I usually didn't have very good chemistry with those guys.
You can be yourself around them.
We're all guilty of putting our best self forward on those first few dates so that we make a good impression. But ultimately, you should always feel as if you can be your true self around a romantic partner. If you can be yourself (good, bad, and ugly) around each other, it's usually a good indication that the chemistry is real. If you feel you have to be anyone but who you were created to be, it's not going to work. Trust me.
Silence is comfortable.
Every space does not always need to be filled with words. I've dated guys in the past where I would just chatter away about any and everything whenever there was a moment of silence because it was so awkward. I couldn't relax. But in my current relationship I feel so comfortable around him that it's not weird for us to sit in complete silence. No talking, no tv, no radio. Just us. You not being able to relax and enjoy silence and just being with your partner is not a good sign.
You get butterflies.
Everyone knows what this one means. That good nervous feeling. That flutter in your tummy. Yeah, that. When the chemistry is real, chances are you're going to feel them in anticipation of seeing your partner. If you're not at least a little excited to see your boo, chemistry is probably seriously lacking.
Time, what is that?
If there never seems to be enough time or time flies when you're with your partner, that is a good indicator that the chemistry is real. If you're counting down the minutes until you can make your escape, you're probably bored and lacking chemistry.
Your body responds when they touch you.
It doesn't even have to be a sexual touch. It can be as simple as a forehead kiss or a reassuring pat on the leg just to let you know that they are there. Your partners touch should make you feel something if the chemistry is real. Let me give you an example. My boyfriend and I take walks just to get fresh air sometimes. No matter how we start out I always somehow find my way walking on the outside of the curb. Without missing a beat he always places his hand on the small of my back and gently guides me back to the inside and I get goosebumps every single time.
You’re drawn to them.
Have you ever been to a public event with your partner and you separate and begin socializing with other people? But something draws you to them. Your eyes find each other no matter how crowded the room is, and you share winks and smiles at each other. And while you're having fun at the event, you can't wait to leave with them? That my good sis is good old-fashioned chemistry.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
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Erica Green is a Clinical Research Associate, blogger, and a sneakerhead. She has a love for all things women and she's pretty sure that women are God's greatest creation. Connect with her on Instagram @ erica_britt_ or www.lovethegspot.com
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl In Motion: Alicia Scott Is Bringing The South To The Forefront With Her Inclusive Beauty Brand
Meet Alicia Scott, CEO and founder of Range Beauty and "ItGirl from the South." Alicia is one of the many faces on xoNecole's inaugural ItGirl 100 list in partnership with Hyundai. In the limited video series "ItGirl in Motion," she describes what she thinks an ItGirl is.
"I believe being an ItGirl is always staying true to yourself no matter what. No matter what the trend is, no matter what people are saying across social, whatever is viral, you're staying true to your values, your morals, and your own standards and you set the tone always," she says.
Alicia personifies ItGirl, especially as a business owner. Her company, Range Beauty, targets those who are often underrepresented and gives them the opportunity to feel seen. "To start an inclusive beauty business, it means you're taking on an entire world. You're doing something that a lot of people unfortunately don't think is necessary," she explains.
She even includes a personal note with each package to echo further the importance of making customers feel included. "Every time an order goes out, we include a personalized note from me saying, 'I'm with you, I feel you, I see you, and you're never forgotten with Range,'" she reveals.
ItGirl In Motion with Alicia Scottwww.youtube.com
Being a beauty brand from the South, Alicia is also filling in spaces that other brands have often ignored. Range Beauty is based in Atlanta, Georgia, which is considered a major hub in the South. However, she says that the beauty industry often overlooks this region. "To be an ItGirl from the South is incredible," she states, "especially because beauty is so underrepresented here. A lot of brands overlook the audience and customers here, especially within the Black community. Honestly, raising my brand from here and putting the South on the map when it comes to beauty has been such a treasure."
Get to know more about the beauty boss in the video above.
See our ItGirl 100 list in full here. Click through the gallery below for some BTS moments of Alicia and our partnership with Hyundai.
Director: Mikkoh @mikkoh
Production company: @polly___studio
Producer/AD: Samuel Cho @choboi90
Producer/Tech: Paul Nguyen @paul__winn
DP: Cristian Bernal @cristianbernal
Editor: @30inthemorning
2nd Cam: Paul Nguyen
1st AC: AJ Paug @ajpaug
Gaffer: Dennis Albert @dennisalbert_
Audio Mixer: Victor Chavez @vic_the__
PA: Rick Carreno @ispeakrick
PA: Tiffany Do @tivani.doee
BTS Photo: Alisa Seripap @alisaseripap
Car Detail: @sud_studs
@slugglobal
Creative Director @hellobosco
Team Lead @kevingumbo3000
Project Manager @zakk_jullot
Creative Producer @iamkingsheyla
Designers @miacolemxn @noelspiva
@xoNecole
Director, Integrated Marketing @_vang
Campaign Manager @kingchachiii
Talent Lead @kaylawalker
Feature image Alisa Seripap