Multi-Hyphenate Serayah Talks Compromise & Why She'll "Never Be The Same"
FOX's Empire coming to a close may be the end of the road for the Lyon family and longtime fan favorite Tiana but as far as Serayah is concerned--things are just getting started. Admitting to being bit by the performing bug at about five years old, the insanely beautiful multi-hyphenate had big dreams from that point on of making a name for herself in the industry--and it's pretty safe to say that she's now living those same dreams out day by day. The Cali native has since been linked to some of the biggest names in the music industry such as Taylor Swift and Chris Brown.
And after giving fans a taste of her own musical prowess with her debut EP Addicted in 2018, Serayah is serving up something new with her forthcoming project Ray in June. Let's just say, the "Never Be The Same" singer is now set and ready to take center stage. xoNecole recently got the chance to catch up with the 24-year-old entertainer to talk all things Empire, her quarantine self-care routine, and why she says learning to compromise is a major key in relationships.
xoNecole: How have you evolved personally and professionally since being a part of ‘Empire’?
Serayah: Professional-wise, I've learned so much about the business. Personally, I just grew up. I started at 19 and six years later: I'm in my twenties and I'm a different girl than I was when I was a teenager. I've definitely matured and learned so much about myself and what I want to be and who I want to be in this world.
"I've definitely matured and learned so much about myself and what I want to be and who I want to be in this world."
What life lessons have you learned from your co-stars that helped you along the way?
A major life lesson is probably just to go for it and don't hold yourself back. Taraji [P. Henson] always says just go for it and don't hold anything back. And I think that's her mantra as you can see, she's a powerhouse. So I've always taken that advice from her and just shake off anything else that I've been going through during my day and turn it into my art.
Has there ever been a moment in time, maybe in life or in love, in your past that has changed you or that you really learned a lot from? Where maybe you felt like you’ll never be the same after this?
Yeah, I think with past relationships: I learned what I like and what I don't like and not to hold grudges. I learned so many lessons in 2019, growing past immaturity and egotistical thinking. And I think that's a daily thing that we all should try to do and it's something that I'm aware of now. It's hard because you're dealing with yourself so you have to be completely 100% with yourself, right?
"I learned so many lessons in 2019, growing past immaturity and egotistical thinking. And I think that's a daily thing that we all should try to do and it's something that I'm aware of now. It's hard because you're dealing with yourself so you have to be completely 100% with yourself, right?"
What has been the most surprising thing to you when it comes to love?
Mmm, let me think about this one (laughs). Probably compromise is a big thing, I think. And understanding. I think before we judge and before we get so mad at certain things, we should try to understand where another person is coming from. I learned that you're dealing with another person's past and history and life, so I think in relationships you have to be a little bit more gentle with certain things. Everybody doesn't have the same triggers but some things don't go down smoothly with some people. So, I think learning those things and trying your best not to do them and compromising in certain areas is where it's at.
What has been the most challenging thing to you when it comes to love?
For so long, you're so used to running your life the way you want it to run, that you never really think of someone else's opinion or thoughts on something. Especially when you're an opinionated person. So I think for me, it was learning to see where someone else was coming from and putting myself in their shoes to understand things and not be defensive.
"I learned that you're dealing with another person's past and history and life, so I think in relationships you have to be a little bit more gentle with certain things. Everybody doesn't have the same triggers but some things don't go down smoothly with some people. So, I think learning those things and trying your best not to do them and compromising in certain areas is where it's at."
What's been your quarantine self-care routine? How are you dealing?
I've been trying to deal. I've been doing some deep conditioning with my hair. I've also been bored so some days I put on a wig and do my makeup. But really it's just: wake up, get coffee, check my emails, see if there's anything I need to do for the day, then the rest of the time I'm just thinking of ideas for content. Why not? We have all this time.
What's next for you?
I wish I knew for sure (laughs). But I am definitely releasing new music in June, I'm releasing my EP. I'm still auditioning and I have some things in the works for film ideas, but for the most part I'm just seeing what I can get into after all this quarantining is over.
"Miss You" and "Never Be The Same" are available to stream everywhere now. And for more of Serayah, catch her on Instagram: @serayah.
Featured image by Shaun Andru/Instagram
Writer. Empath. Escapist. Young, gifted, and Black. Shanelle Genai is a proud Southern girl in a serious relationship with celebrity interviews, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and long walks down Sephora aisles. Keep up with her on IG @shanellegenai.
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
Victoria Monét Opens Up About Feeling ‘Validated’ Months After VMAs Turned Her Down To Perform
Victoria Monét has had an incredible year. Thanks to the success of the widely popular “On My Mama” that went viral, the singer/ songwriter’s Jaguar II album debuted in the top 10 of Billboard’s Top R&B Albums chart. She also went on to headline her own sold-out tour. So, when the MTV VMAs happened in September, everyone was surprised to learn that Victoria’s team was told that it was “too early” for the “Smoke” artist to perform at the award show. However, a couple of months later, the mom of one received seven Grammy nominations, including “Best R&B Album” and “Record Of The Year.”
Victoria is currently in London and stopped by The Dotty Show on Apple Music and shared how she feels “validated” after being dismissed by the VMAs.
“It really does feel nice and validating because, in my head, the reason why I wanted to be a performer at the VMAs or award ceremonies like that is because I felt like I am at the place where I should. I would work really hard to put on the best show that I could, and I was excited to do so,” she said.
“And I guess the best way to describe it for me is like when you're like on a sports team, and the coach is like, ‘No, you gotta sit this one out.’ When they finally put you in, and then you score all these points, and it feels like that feeling. You're like, yes, I knew it wasn't tripping, but I knew I worked hard for this, and so it's been super validating to just have these accolades come after a moment like that, and I know the fans feel vindicated for me.
While her fans called the VMAs out on their decision, the “Moment” singer kept it cute and is still open to performing at the iconic award show. “I feel no ill towards them because it's just maybe that's just truly how they felt at the time, but I hope their mind has changed,” she admitted.
Aside from recognition from the Grammys, she has also received praise from legendary artists such as Janet Jackson, Kelly Rowland, and Usher.
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Feature image by Amy Sussman/WireImage for Parkwood