xoGift Guide 2019: Gifts For The Self-Care Enthusiast
Self-care looks different for everyone. Most importantly, self-care should include meeting your own needs, mentally and physically first, so that you can meet the needs of the outside world. It's less about self-indulgence and more about self-preservation. This catalog is dedicated to the self-care enthusiast AND the significant other who could use a little more self-care.
We decided to compile this list because no matter who you're gifting, they need some self-care items in their life. One can never have enough self-care. 2020 = self-full, not selfish. Shop on for some amazing recharging goodies!
Me Time: Dead Sea Soaking Salt
heritage1933
The benefits of scheduling me time are endless. Adding these bath salts to your scheduled bath will relax your body, ease stress, relieve pain and muscle cramps while also exfoliating dead skin. Prada's social media guru Candace Marie told us that she takes a bubble bath every single day as a form of self-care. "Because it makes me stop and say, 'This is my time.'"
Self-Care: A Day and Night Reflection Journal
Amazon
Tip: Self-reflecting three times a day makes for a happier soul. And this journal will keep you focused and aligned by jotting down your reflections. According to Insight Editions, "The journal offers a space to commit to your self-care routine with intention and dedication—helping you develop positive thinking, overcome challenging and stressful experiences and negative emotions, and cultivate a general sense of well-being and a healthy lifestyle." $13 sounds amazing for such a great product; talk about a good coin spent.
Tata Harper Aromatic Stress Treatment
Tata Harper's Aromatic Stress Treatment really creates a soothing feeling that promotes inner peace and serenity. A little goes a long way and it even aids troublesome migraines. With ingredients like bergamot, neroli, and sandalwood, it inspires a calming balance to soothe feelings of anxiety and stress.
The Gravity Blanket
I have added this item to my wish list because it's reminiscent of a forever hug. Many weighted blankets use Deep Touch Pressure (DTP) or Deep Pressure Stimulation (DPS) to improve relaxation with weighted materials like plastic pelts. Many consumers say that the beauty of the weighted blanket, or gravity blanket, is how it creates a comfortable cocoon that recreates the magic of getting a warm hug.
SELF CARE Candle for Self Love & Well-Being
Setting intentions are a major key in your self-care journey. ScentualGoddess.com is here to help you get it done with her Self-Care candle. The lid even reads inspirational affirmations to read aloud while burning the handmade soy candle.
Simple Pleasures Luxury Robe & Spa Set
Keep it simple with a luxury robe and spa set for that special loved one. This set has everything you need to create an at-home spa experience. From the body wash, bubble bath, bath soap, body scrub, body lotion to the plush bath robe, you can kick back, relax and ease your mind.
2020 Book'd & Black Planner
Book'd
Scheduling me time may sound extra but for most people, if you don't write it down, you can't make it plain. We are kind of obsessed with this specific planner because it's blackity-black-black. Not to mention, it also has pages devoted to Weekly Sections for: Call/Email/Follow-up, Sweat Plan, Prayer Target, Self-Care and Weekly Gratitude/Reflections Section. Planning daily practices of self-love and self-care while also maintaining a healthy work schedule can increase productivity and serenity.
Slip Pure Silk Pillow and Mask Travel Set
Slip
Whether you're on the road or in the sky, you'll need some help preventing bedhead and sleep creases. This set was made for travel but you can use the sleep mask for your daily night routine. We are sure the travel aficionado who uses trips around the globe as a self-care tool will love this gift.
Moon Essential Oil Diffuser
Urban Outfitters
Quickly transform your space, work or home, into a soothing zone of zen with a Moon Essential Oil Diffuser. It improves air quality, adding moisture to eliminate dryness while simultaneously enhancing the mood with the beautiful light to relieve fatigue and inspire creativity.
PLANT Apothecary GET HAPPY Bodywash
Don't worry, GET HAPPY or GET IT ON! Using geranium and peppermint, PLANT Apothecary created body washes to alleviate oiliness and dehydration. The luxurious lather and perfect scent wakes you up and covers you in pure happiness. It's perfect for the self-care babe that has sensitive skin as you can use this product from head to toe.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
7 Home Decor Choices That Promote Wellness
What Self-Care Looks Like To Black Girl Beautiful Founder Nikia Phoenix
How This Business Owner Is Loving Herself Through Fibroids
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images