

#SayOurNames: Black Women’s Leadership & Our Quest For Equity
Last Wednesday evening (August 19), Senator Kamala Harris took the virtual stage of the 2020 Democratic Convention and addressed the nation as the first Black and South Asian woman to accept a major party's vice-presidential nomination.
From a pandemic to divisive leadership and economic uncertainty, Senator Harris' historic achievement comes at a time when our country is in dire need of leadership, and more specifically - Black women's leadership.
Because we know that when Black women step into their power, what needs to be done, will be done.
A Legacy of Leadership
Last week also marked 100 years since the passage of the 19th Amendment, and while Black women were integral to its passing, their fight for a seat at the political table was just beginning.
Harris' achievement is the latest in a legacy of Black women's suffragists whose leadership galvanized communities and shattered glass ceilings. She notes this in her speech at the 2020 Democratic Convention saying:
"They paved the way for the trailblazing leadership of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. And these women inspired us to pick up the torch, and fight on. Women like Mary Church Terrell and Mary McCleod Bethune. Fannie Lou Hamer and Diane Nash. Constance Baker Motley and Shirley Chisholm. We're not often taught their stories. But as Americans, we all stand on their shoulders."
Image: Mason Trinca / Getty Images
In recent years, we've seen a new generation of Black women effecting change in politics, education, business, and beyond. Black women represent the fastest-growing segment of entrepreneurs, with the number of Black women-led startups doubling since 2016. They also represent the most educated demographic and have become a political force with a record number of Black women set to run for Congress.
Despite these advancements, Black women disproportionately face challenges at the intersection of race gender. These challenges are not new and actualize themselves in injustices such as workplace biases, disparities in health care, income inequalities, and the erasure of Black women in today's fight against police brutality.
"Anti-Black racism is once again at the center of national consciousness, an unavoidable reality amplified by twin pandemics—the COVID-19 pandemic and the uprisings in response to unyielding forms of state violence," said Shermena M. Nelson, Chief of Staff and Director of Programs and Community Engagement at the African American Policy Forum (AAPF). "Both COVID-19 and police violence have made blatantly apparent the racial inequalities that persist in American society."
Image: September 2020 of 'O Magazine' honoring Breonna Taylor
For Nelson, AAPF's mission to dismantle structural racism and other barriers that disempower marginalized communities is increasingly important during this time of consciousness.
"We want to maximize this moment of attention, guiding attention to work that is transformative and sustainable. This cannot just be a moment."
Nelson joined a line-up of modern leaders like Linda Sarsour, co-founder of the Women's March, and Reverend Marcia Dyson at the virtual Black Womxn's Summit hosted by the Office of the Dean of the Chapel at Howard University, Senator Harris' alma mater. Hosted on Black Women's Equal Pay Day, the intra-racial summit celebrated Black womanhood while exploring other topics like education, health, sexism, and police brutality, among others, that uniquely impact Black women.
"With the killing of Breonna Taylor, we see once again the need for narratives that account for the racist police violence against Black women and girls. These stories are too often left untold, these names too often left unsaid."
Protecting Black Women in Today’s Social Climate
When it comes to Black women, public outrage often trails to that of their male counterparts. It's been approximately five months since Breonna Taylor's death and her murderers have still not been arrested.
We've seen this time again in cases of police violence toward Black women and girls like Oluwatoyin "Toyin" Salau, Atatiana Jefferson, Charleena Lyles, and Sandra Bland - a case that many of us first associated with #SayHerName, a 2014 campaign launched by AAPF to bring awareness to the names of these victims whose names we often do not hear.
But it shouldn't take for Black women's wrongful deaths to prompt action. How can we begin to effectively dismantle the structures that promote our erasure, so that we, and consequently all Americans, can walk in our full power?
"To properly diagnose and attempt to remedy the disparate violence we must use a framework of analysis that can identify the particulars of these two crises, namely, the ways in which race, gender, and class interact and compound," said Nelson. "We have to look at this as a structural issue. These killings are not just one case. One situation. One moment. They are the products of centuries of discrimination and systems that were uniquely crafted to oppress."
Our country is in a polarized, vulnerable state, one that presents many challenges, but the bright opportunity for widespread and institutional change - but only if we act. To do so, we must support organizations that are doing what is needed to knock down racial barriers and create pathways to equity.
"I believe there is a role for everyone. Education is a key way to support. Educate yourself, your colleagues, your friends. Make conscious, intentional efforts to elevate the movement. Lend your support to organizations who are doing the work (donate, volunteer, attend, promote), and remove your support from organizations and individuals who are opposed to the work."
The power to change leadership and advocate for existence lies in our right to vote. With arguably the most important election on the horizon, now is the time to show up for Black women the way they've always shown up for us all.
"This is not a time to passively observe or wait for others to step up. The time is now. We cannot wait."
To learn more and support the work of the African American Policy Forum, please visit aapf.org.
Featured image by Getty Images
Chief Mom Officer: 23 Quotes From Working Moms Finding Their Balance
The truth is, Black moms create magic every single day. Whether we're juggling motherhood with a busy 9-5, a thriving business, or staying at home to run a household, no day is short of amazing when you're managing life as a mommy. This Mother's Day, xoNecole is giving flowers to CMOs (Chief Mom Officers) in business who exemplify the strength it takes to balance work with motherhood.
We've commissioned these ladies, who are pillars in their respective industries, for tidbits of advice to get you through the best and worst days of mothering. Here, they share their "secret sauce" and advice for other moms trying to find their rhythm.
Emmelie De La Cruz, Chief Strategist at One Day CMO
"My mom friends and I all laugh and agree: Motherhood is the ghettoest thing you will ever do. It's beautiful and hard all at the same time, but one day you will wake up and feel like 'I got this' and you will get the hang of it. After 4 months, I finally felt like I found my footing to keep my kid and myself alive, but it took vulnerability to take off the cape and be honest about the areas that I didn't have it all together. The healing (physically and emotionally) truly does happen in community - whatever and whoever that looks like for you."
Alizè V. Garcia, Director Of Social & Community Impact at Nike
"I would tell a new mom or a prospective mother that they must give themselves grace, understand and remember there is no right way to do this thing and have fun! When I had my daughter three and a half years ago, I was petrified! I truly had no clue about what to do and how I was going to do it. But with time, my confidence grew and I realized quickly that I have all the tools I need to be the mother I want to be."
Nikki Osei-Barrett, Publicist + Co-Founder of The Momference
"There's no balance. I'm dropping sh*t everywhere! However, my secret sauce is pursuing interests and hobbies outside of what's required of me and finding time to workout. Stronger body equals = stronger mind."
Lauren Grove, Chief Experience Architect, The Grant Access, LLC
"I try to give myself grace. That’s my mantra for this phase of motherhood…grace. I won’t be able to get everything done. To have a spotless house. To not lose my cool after an exhausting day. Those things can’t happen all of the time. But I can take a deep breath and know tomorrow is another day and my blessings are more plentiful than my pitfalls."
Rachel Nicks, Founder & CEO of Birth Queen
"You have the answers within you. Don’t compare yourself to others. Curate your life to work for you. Ask for help."
Tanisha Colon-Bibb, Founder + CEO Rebelle Agency + Rebelle Management
"I know love doesn't pay bills but when I am overwhelmed with work or client demands I take a moment to play with my baby and be reminded of the love, energy, science, and Godliness that went into his birth. I am brightened by his smile and laugh. I remember I am someone's parent and not just a work horse. That at the end of the day everything will work out for the good of my sanity and the love within my life."
Christina Brown, Founder of LoveBrownSugar & BabyBrownSugar
"Learning your rhythm as a mom takes time and can be uncomfortable when you’re in a season of overwhelm. Constantly check in with yourself and assess what’s working and what’s not. Get the help you need without feeling guilty or ashamed of needing it."
Mecca Tartt, Executive Director of Startup Runway Foundation
"I want to be the best for myself, my husband, children and company. However, the reality is you can have it all but not at the same time. My secret sauce is outsourcing and realizing that it’s okay to have help in order for me to perform at the highest level."
Jen Hayes Lee, Head Of Marketing at The Bump (The Knot Worldwide)
"My secret sauce is being direct and honest with everyone around me about what I need to be successful in all of my various "jobs". Setting boundaries is one thing, but if you're the only one who knows they exist, your partners at home and on the job can't help you maintain them. I also talk to my kids like adults and let them know why mommy needs to go to this conference or get this massage...they need to build an appreciation for my needs too!"
Whitney Gayle-Benta, Chief Music Officer JKBX
"What helps me push through each day is the motivation to continue by thinking about my son. All my efforts, though exhausting, are to create a wonderful life for him."
Ezinne Okoro, Global Chief Inclusion, Equity, & Diversity Officer at Wunderman Thompson,
"The advice I received that I’ll pass on is, you will continue to figure it out and find your rhythm as your child grows into new stages. Trust your nurturing intuition, parent on your terms, and listen to your child."
Jovian Zayne, CEO of The OnPurpose Movement
"I live by the personal mantra: 'You can’t be your best self by yourself.' My life feels more balanced when I offer the help I can give and ask for the help I need. This might mean outsourcing housecleaning for my home, or hiring additional project management support for my business."
Simona Noce Wright, Co-Founder of District Motherhued and The Momference
"Each season of motherhood (depending on age, grade, workload) requires a different rhythm. With that said, be open to learning, to change, and understand that what worked for one season may not work the other...and that's okay."
Janaye Ingram, Director of Community Partner Programs and Engagement at Airbnb
"My daughter's smile and sweet spirit help me to feel gratitude when I'm overwhelmed. I want her to see a woman who doesn't quit when things get hard."
Codie Elaine Oliver, CEO & Founder of Black Love
"I try to listen to my body and simply take a break. With 3 kids and a business with 10+ team members, I often feel overwhelmed. I remind myself that I deserve grace for everything I'm juggling, I take a walk or have a snack or even head home to see my kids, and then I get back to whatever I need to get done."
Jewel Burks Solomon, Managing Partner at Collab Capital
"Get comfortable with the word ‘no’. Be very clear about your non-negotiables and communicate them to those around you."
Julee Wilson, Executive Director at BeautyUnited and Beauty Editor-at-Large at Cosmopolitan
"Understand you can’t do it alone — and that’s ok. Relinquish the need to control everything. Create a village and lean on them."
Salwa Benyaich, Director Of Pricing and Planning at Premion
"Most days I really try to shut my computer off by 6 pm; there are always exceptions of course when it comes to big deals or larger projects but having this as a baseline allows me to be much more present with my kids. I love the fact that I can either help with homework or be the designated driver to at least one afterschool activity. Work can be draining but there is nothing more emotionally draining than when you feel as though you are missing out on moments with your kids."
Brooke Ellis, Head of Global Marketing & Product Launches at Amazon Music
My calendar, prayer, pilates class at Forma, a good playlist, and oatmilk lattes all help get me through any day.
Courtney Beauzile, Global Director of Client and Business Development at Shearman & Sterling
My husband is a partner who steps in when I just can’t. My mom and my MIL come through whenever and however I need. My kids have many uncles and aunts and they will lend an ear, go over homework, teach life lessons, be a presence or a prayer warrior depending on the day.
Robin Snipes, Chief of Staff at Meta
"Enjoy the time you have to yourself because once kids come those times will be few and far between."
Monique Bivens, CEO & Founder at Brazilian Babes LLC.
"For new moms, it is very important that you get back into a habit or routine of something you use to do before you were pregnant. Consider the actives and things that give you the most joy and make the time to do them."
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This Is Why Your Bright Under-Eye Technique Is Not Giving
If you are a fan of the bright under-eye, then you have the legendary makeup artist Kevyn Aucoin to thank. The bright under-eye is only one of the major techniques that Aucoin brought to the forefront of the makeup industry in the ‘90s. The purpose of concealing the under-eye area is to hide blemishes and discoloration, redness, dark circles, and under-eye bags. However, according to Aucoin’s techniques, its main purpose is to lift and sculpt the face adding a new level of dimension.
The bright under-eye can be difficult to achieve. These are some of the common mistakes that are holding you back from sculpted bright under eyes that are giving!
1. You are not using the correct concealer shade.
Using two concealers makes a huge difference. Start with a shade 1-2 shades lighter than your skin tone. Followed by a shade that is 3-4 times lighter and placed closer to the inner eye to do the heavy lifting and give the bright effect.
Two shades diffuse well into each other and give a cohesive result.
Jorine Dorcelus/xoNecole
Jorine Dorcelus/xoNecole
2. You are not blending enough.
Don't underestimate the power behind a complete blend-out! Blending your concealer fully is a make-or-break step for the bright under-eye look. Fully blending allows for a seamless transition between the areas of the face meant to be highlighted, and the areas meant to create depth and shadows. So take your time and make sure there are no harsh lines.
Jorine Dorcelus/xoNecole
3. You are not properly setting the under-eye area.
Set the under-eye using a loose setting powder or brightening powder. The key here is to choose a powder complementary to your skin's undertone and proper placement to prevent creasing. Focus the majority of the powder on the inner eye and defuse the remaining powder to the rest of the powder under the eye.
Jorine Dorcelus/xoNecole
Jorine Dorcelus/xoNecole
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