xoMan Candy Sammie Talks Heartbreak & Monogamy
I can't be the only one who remembers R&B singer Sammie, stealing our hearts with the sounds of puppy love at the tender age of 13. Before our very eyes, he's gone from "I Like It" to a grown and sexy "I Love It" two decades later. And we are more than here for it.
The crooner has always been easy on the ears, but has elicited quite a few heart eye emojis (and maybe a few "drip" ones too) over the years from us. Just one look at his Instagram page and you'll see his glaring evolution through his titillating photos, candid captions, and you know we can't forget the Zaddy beard. But even deeper than surface-level attraction, the 31-year-old has proven time and time again how talented he truly is. His new single "Times 10" shows the singer taking a more explicit approach with lyrics like "I'm a real life freak, we can fuck on my sheets."
Sammie - Times 10 (Trailer) ft. Lil Babywww.youtube.com
There's no wonder our eyes get low, our cheeks blush, and our knees buckle whenever a song of his hits our "mood" playlist. xoNecole decided to chat with the artist about monogamy, how past relationships have shaped him into the man he is today, and the sounds we can expect to hear from his forthcoming project, Everlasting.
Sammie On the Type of Music We Can Expect to Hear from Him...
Sammie: I'm diverse. I give you love, I give you pain, I give you passion. I talk about the art of monogamy and trying to master that. I talk about infidelity, so it's kinda a love story. The album is called Everlasting. The reason why I entitled [it] that was because every relationship, good or bad, happy, sad, one night stands has had an everlasting effect on [the] man that I've become so it's not just sex at all; it's about everything that I've gone through in my 14 years of dating.
Courtesy of Sammie
"Every relationship, good or bad, happy, sad, one night stands has had an everlasting effect on [the] man that I've become so it's not just sex at all. It's about everything that I've gone through in my 14 years of dating."
Sammie On What He’s Learned from His mom About Relationships...
Sammie: My mom is my queen and I started dating at the age of 17, but of course I was still living under her roof so I had to get permission so I wasn't sneaking on the phone talking to my girl. She just told me to be mindful in how you treat women, karma is real, you reap what you sow and all your decisions good or bad will have an everlasting effect. That conversation and idiom at 31 has now resonated.
Sammie On How His Relationships Have Shaped the Man He is Today...
Sammie: I'm a Pisces, I've always been more emotional than the average man. I've been singing to women since I was 12, they were little girls and then teenagers and now we've all grown together. I was always becoming this guy. Every relationship I've gone through, I've learned more and more about myself and I don't like the demons about myself, the dark side. I think the way to fix it is to admit that you have a problem, address it, look yourself in the mirror, and slowly chisel away at what it is you don't fancy about yourself and I've done that. And so I've finally become the man that I've always thought I could be.
Sammie On Heartbreak...
Sammie: I've had my heart broken. Unfortunately, I've also shattered a couple of hearts, nothing I'm proud of. No matter how many women I have in my life, that's not something that's – that's not a trophy to me. I wish I didn't do a lot of those things. However, you can't take back the past, you can only hopefully learn the lesson and apply what it is you learn and progress accordingly.
Sammie On Preferring Monogamy Over Casual Dating
Sammie: I'm a relationship guy. Like my shortest relationship was three years, I was with a girl for four, another girl for four and a half [years], and then three, so that's about 11 years of life and I'm only 31. Eleven years of my life I've been in long relationships so now I'm looking forward to the one where it's forever. I don't want to do three or four years and realize she's not my wife and we're not equally yoked and vice versa, I'm not her husband. So [I'm] not a serial dater. If I'm not involved with somebody, I'm chillin' and focusing on things again that I don't like about myself and preparing myself for my forever.
Courtesy of Sammie
"If I'm not involved with somebody, I'm chillin' and focusing on things again that I don't like about myself and preparing myself for my forever."
Sammie On His Ideal Valentine’s Day Date...
Sammie: You have to pay attention to what your woman's been talking about maybe all year long. Definitely a nice dinner, something nice, candlelit. If she indulges in wine, Malbec is a good choice, I'm a red wine connoisseur, great conversation. I like interactive things like a movie is intimate but even bowling, something where we can kinda be free and it has to end in the right way. I think a nice sensual – [with] some music playing – bubble bath.
I think when you bathe someone that's one of the most intimate things outside of sex, and you learn new things about their body during that process and then you can end it with some amazing passionate safe sex. That's my ideal Valentine's Day.
Be sure to follow Sammie on Instagram. And check out his teaser for "Times 10" here.
Be sure to follow Sammie on Instagram. And check out his teaser for "Times 10" here.
Featured image courtesy of Sammie
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London Alexaundria is the contributing editor for xoNecole. She is an alum of Clark Atlanta University, where she majored in Mass Media Arts and has worked in journalism for over ten years. You can follow her on Instagram and TikTok @theselfcarewriter
Beyond Burnout: Nicole Walters' Blueprint For Achieving Career Success On Your Own Terms
Nicole Walters has always been known for two things: her ambition and her ability to recognize when life’s challenges can also double as an inspiring, lucrative brand.
This was first evident more than a decade ago when she quit her job as the corporate executive of a Fortune 500 company during a Periscope livestream. “I’m not sure if there’s an alignment of [our] future trajectory. I’m going to work for myself. I'm promoting myself to work for myself,” she said at the time before flashing a smile at the viewing audience. As she resigned on camera, a constant stream of encouraging messages floated upwards on the screen.
By 2021, she’d fashioned her work as a corporate consultant and her personal life with her husband and three adopted daughters into a reality show, She’s The Boss, for USA Network. This year, she released the New York Times bestselling memoir Nothing Is Missing, written as she was in the process of getting a divorce and dealing with her eldest daughter’s struggles with substance use.
Convinced that there’s no way the 39-year-old has achieved all of this without intentional strategic planning, I asked her about it when we spoke less than a week before Christmas. I’d seen videos on social media of her working on 2024 planning for other brands, and I wanted to know what that looked like following her own year of success.
She listed a number of goals, including ensuring that the projects she takes on in the new year align with her identity “as a Black woman, as an African woman, as a mother, as someone who has lived a [rebuilding] season and is now trying to live boldly and entirely as themselves.” But, I was shocked by how much of her business planning also prioritized rest.
Despite the bestselling book, a self-titled podcast, and working with numerous corporations, Walters said she’s been taking Fridays off. This year, she doesn’t want to work on Mondays, either.
“A lot of us think we work hard until retirement hits. I want to progress towards retirement,” she said, noting that she’ll check in with herself around March to see how successful this plan has been. The goal, Walters said, is to only be working on Tuesdays and Thursdays by sometime in 2025. “It is intentionally building out what I know I would like to have happen and not waiting for exhaustion to be the trigger of change.”
"A lot of us think we work hard until retirement hits. I want to progress towards retirement... It is intentionally building out what I know I would like to happen and not waiting for exhaustion to be the trigger of change."
Walters said the decision to progressively work less was partially in response to her previously held notions about her career, especially as an entrepreneur. “When I first started, I thought burnout was a part of it,” she said. “What I didn’t realize is that even if you’re able to bounce out of burnout or get back to it, there’s a cumulative impact on your body. If you think of your body as a tree and every time you go through burnout, you are taking a hack out of your trunk, yes, that trunk will heal over, and the tree will continue to grow, but it doesn't mean that you don’t have a weakened stem.”
But, the desire for increased rest was also in response to the major shifts that occurred three years ago when she was experiencing major changes in her family and realized her metaphorical tree was “bending all the way over.”
Courtesy
“One of the things we have to recognize, especially as Black women, is that there is this engrained, societal, systemic notion that our worth is built around our productivity,” she added. “That is some language that I think is just now starting to really get unpacked.” In recent years, there’s been an increased awareness of achieving balance in life, with Tricia Hersey’s “The Nap Ministry” gaining attention based on the idea that rest, especially for Black women, is a form of resistance. Even online phrases such as “soft life” and “quiet quitting” have hinted at a cultural shift in prioritizing leisure over professional ambition.
"One of the things we have to recognize, especially as Black women, is that there is this engrained, societal, systemic notion that our worth is built around our productivity."
If companies are lining up to consult with Walters about their brands and products, then women have been looking to her for guidance on starting over since she invited them to livestream her resignation 12 years ago. As viewers continue to demand more from content creators in the form of intimate, personal details, Walters has navigated her personal brand with a sense of transparency without oversharing the vulnerable details about her life, especially when it comes to her family.
The entrepreneur said she’d been approached to write a book for several years and was initially convinced she was finally ready to write one about business. “I started to do that, and then I went through my divorce. When that happened, I said, why would I write a book telling people to get the life that I have when I’m not sure about the life that I have,” she said.
Instead, she decided to write Nothing Is Missing and provide a closer look at her life, starting with being born to immigrant Ghanaian parents (“You need to know my childhood to know why I’m passionate about entrepreneurship.”) through the adoption of her three daughters and eventual divorce. Despite her desire to share, however, she said she felt protective of the privacy of her family, including her ex-husband.
When discussing this with me, Walters said she was reminded of a lesson she learned from actress Kerry Washington, who released her own memoir, Thicker Than Water, just a week before Walters’ book release. Washington’s memoir grapples with family secrets, too, specifically the fact that she was conceived using a sperm donor and didn’t learn about it until she was already a successful TV star. While Washington reflects on how the decision and subsequent deception impacted her, she’s also careful to hold space for her parents’ experiences, too. “A lot of things she said was that she had to recognize where she was the supporting character and where she was the main character,” Walter said.
This is something Walter worked to do in Nothing Is Missing when discussing her daughter’s struggles with addiction. “I was very intentional about making sure that I did not reveal more than what was required,” she said. “If I say something about someone’s addiction, I don’t need to go into the list of the substances they used, how they used them, what I found. [I don’t need to] walk into a room and paint a picture of what it looked like for people to understand.”
Walters said some of the most vulnerable moments in the book barely made a ripple once it was released. She was extremely nervous to write about getting an abortion, she said. But no one has asked her about this in the months since the book was released. Instead, people have been more interested in quirkier revelations, such as the fact that she once appeared on Wheel of Fortune.
“I have bared my soul about this thing I went through in my youth that has changed me for people, and people are like, ‘So how heavy was the wheel when you spun it?’” she said, chuckling. “It just goes to show that people never worry about the thing that you worry about.”
With the success of Nothing Is Missing, Walters said she still isn’t planning to release a business book at the moment. But, as she navigates parenting a teenager and two adult children while also navigating a relationship with her new fiancé, Walters said she believes she has at least one or two more books to write about her personal journey. “There is sort of an arc of where my life has gone that I know I’ve got something more to say about this that I think is important, relevant and necessary,” she said.
In just three years, Walters’ life has undergone a major transformation. There’s no telling what the next three years will have in store for her, but it seems likely she’ll retain an inspired audience wherever life takes her.
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Featured image courtesy
Exclusive: Tyla On Making History & The Grammys Acknowledging African Music: "It's About Time"
History was made in more ways than one at the 66th Grammy Awards. One of the biggest highlights was Tyla accepting the first-ever award for African Music Performance for her hit song "Water." The melodic masterpiece, which took over our TikTok feeds back in August of 2023, has proved to be much more than a trend—last night earning a solidified spot in history.
The #TylaWaterChallenge was undoubtedly one the most popular dance trends sweeping social media in 2023, with dance icons like Ciara even joining in on the fun. The viral craze would later earn Tyla a performance spot at the coveted "New Years Rockin' Eve" in Times Square, with the new artist only releasing the song less than five months prior.
Tyla Makes History at the 66th Grammy AwardsPhoto by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for The Recording Academy
The South African songstress was up against stiff competition, including Afrobeats superstars Burna Boy and Davido, for the history-making African Music Performance award. The honor marked the Grammy's first acknowledgment of African music and Afrobeats after 66 years of existence. To say the least, it was a moment the superstars and their predecessors had worked extremely hard for.
xoNecole spoke to Tyla after the historic win in the Grammys media room. "Afrobeats has already started booming all over the world, which I'm so happy about," she said. "It's about time." She continued, "I just feel like this is going to open so many more doors for us back home and introduce our music and our culture to so many more people, which we've been wanting." She concluded by thanking The Recording Academy for giving African music the platform.
Tyla's self-titled debut album is slated for release in March of 2024, and she's already earned her first Grammy to set the tone. To say Tyla's "future is so bright that we need sunglasses" would be an understatement.
Congratulations, Tyla! This is truly a moment Africa will never forget.
Tyla On Her History-Making Grammy Winyoutu.be
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Feature image by Leon Bennett/Getty Images for The Recording Academy