10 Romantic Dates You Can Go On (In Your Own Home)
Not too long ago, while looking up some wedding data, I read a published study on The Knot that literally had me shaking my head. It was talking about how often married couples go on dates. The findings weren't very impressive. I'll put it to you this way—while 11 percent went on dates once or more a week, 30 percent only did it once a month and 36 percent hardly ever had one. That really is kind of disturbing considering most of us have heard that the way we get someone is the way we should keep them. Plus, dating shouldn't be seen as merely a way to woo someone into being in a relationship; it should also be about wanting to spend real quality time with them. No matter how long two individuals have been together, that should never get old.
If you totally agree but the challenge is that your lifestyle (hard to find a babysitter), budget (need to save most of your coins) or current circumstances (like a roaring pandemic that is happening at the time that I am writing this) are what's preventing you and yours for being as romantic as you'd like, I've got a few ways where the two of you can still date each other from the comfort, convenience and safety of your own home.
1. Have a Spa Day (or Night)
Something that can be romantic and sexy while also being a way to de-stress is to create a spa-themed date. It can consist of things like giving each other massages with aphrodisiac essential oils (see "Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage" and "8 Natural Aphrodisiac Scents, Where They Go & How To Make Them Last") and doing some reflexology on one another, to taking a soothing bath together; one that consists of DIY bath soak recipes. Make sure that you take luxury to another level by warming up your towels in the dryer before using them, picking up some rose petals to put into your foot soak or bathwater, lighting some soy scented candles, opening up a bottle of wine, and turning off all of your electronics (except maybe a device for some background music).
2. Binge-Watch a Series from Your College Years
Call it blinded nostalgia if you want to, but some of my favorite television-watching years was the early 90s. A Different World. Living Single. Martin. In Living Color. Yeah, those were the days. If you were in college then, take a walk down memory lane by binge-watching some of those shows with your significant other. Whether you knew each other or not at the time, it can bring up all kinds of memories and fun stories. You can take it up a notch and eat some of the same foods that you did while you were hanging out in your campus's university center. (By the way, this suggestion applies to any television era; the early 90s is simply my personal favorite.)
3. Put a Twist to Sip & Paint
Pretty much every city has at least one place where you can go to take painting classes while you sip on a glass of wine (or some other alcoholic beverage that tickles your fancy). Put a twist on that by throwing a very private and personal sip & paint at your house. Sure, you can put up easel if you want to. But I have something a bit more erotic in mind.
How about making some of your own body paint (or you can purchase some edible body paint, in a variety of different colors, here), stripping down to your underwear (or less) and painting each other? It's something that is both sexually stimulating and really fun at the same time; especially if you bring that bottle of red wine (which is a big time aphrodisiac) into the equation. #bottomsup
4. Go on a “Travel-Themed” Date
There are a couple of different ways to have a travel-themed date night in your house. One way is to either order or prepare foods that represent another country. You know, maybe a pasta dish to represent Italy or a Greek salad to represent Greece. The cool thing about this idea is your date can be any time of the day. For instance, maybe you want to make some Rabanadas (which is basically Portuguese French Toast) for a breakfast or brunch date, or a couple of bowls of Vegetable Pad Thai (which represents Thailand) late at night. Selecting foods based on a particular place can be a great way to expand your palate while bonding if you plan on preparing the dishes together.
Another approach to a travel-themed date is to put on some soft music, light some soy scented candles and hop on Instagram or Pinterest to plan a dream vacation together. And just where would you get the money to pay for it? Check out "5 Reasons Why Every Married Couple Needs A Sex Jar". If you play your cards right, planning the date will be nothing more than a creative foreplay move (if you catch my drift).
5. Make a Disco Ball and Dance the Night Away
The more that you and your partner touch each other, the more oxytocin will surge throughout your systems to make you feel emotionally close and physically connected. So, why not have a night when you turn off most of the lights, put on your favorite music playlist and dance all night long? You can make it feel more like a "formal date" by actually dressing up and even hanging a homemade DIY disco ball from your ceiling. If the ball is something that you'd like to try, you can get some fairly easy step-by-step instructions here.
6. Design Your Own Drive-In (in Your Backyard)
Who said that you had to spend a mini mint on movie theater tickets? Buy some candy, pop some popcorn and watch your favorite flick from the comfort of your own backyard by setting up your own drive-in experience. For this idea, it all depends on how sophisticated you want it to be. You can purchase a projector and put together an entire set-up (click here, here, here or check out a great Dollar Tree video here for some tips on how to do that). Or, you can simply take your computer outdoors and watch a movie on that if you just want a change of scenery.
7. Enjoy a Sports Night Together
Even though there is apparently a scientific reason for why men like sports more than women do, there was a Gallup poll from a few years ago that said 51 percent of women consider themselves to be some pretty diehard sports fans too. If you are one of them, another date idea is to have a sports night at home. There's not much to this one. Simply order up some hot wings or pizza, crack open a couple of bottles of beer and watch a game or competition to your hearts' content.
8. Have a Video Games Competition
It's a huge misconception that it's only men who enjoy playing video games. In fact, one study revealed that as much as 46 percent of women consider themselves to be avid gamers. If you happen to fall into that demographic, have a video game competition with your man. If you'd prefer to take it back to old school retro stuff, articles like "The 6 Best Sites to Buy Retro Games Online" can help to point you in the right direction of finding vintage consoles and game cartridges. Just make sure that you come up with a really sexy prize for the winner in order to make this date all the more…stimulating.
9. Transform Your Bedroom into a Hotel Room
The married people in my world know that I advocate for them having as much sex as they possibly can. I try and put my money where my mouth is by sometimes putting couples up in hotel rooms or a bed and breakfast, free of charge. If money is a little tight right now and you can't afford to book a reservation, how about transforming your bedroom into a hotel room?
Purchase some new white 300-count (or more) sheets and then apply the triple-sheeting technique where you put a thin blanket in between your top sheet and your actual comforter for more of a layered and hotel-like feel. Buy a couple of terry cloth robes. Put together a toiletry basket with things like candles, massage oil and fruits in it. Get a three-way light bulb for your lamps. Invest in a blackout curtain (so that you can sleep in the following morning). Consider investing in a sound machine or hopping onto YouTube to listen to ASMR ocean waves or rain videos.
Little touches like these can easily make you feel less like you're in your same ole' bedroom and more like you're in a five-star suite.
10. Create Your Own Bed & Breakfast
If you decide to try the hotel room date, make the moment last even longer by waking up to some good old-fashioned morning sex, followed by a breakfast that both of you make together. If the two of you want to go a couple of more rounds after, make sure that your meal consists of aphrodisiac foods like blueberries, honey, avocados, dark chocolate and ginger. Like maybe a bowl of berries and whipped cream, some chocolate chip pancakes and/or an avocado omelet with some ginger tea. Oh, and don't forget to put it all on a tray and eat it in bed. It'll be the perfect way to end a date—or start an entirely new one, if you know what I mean.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Beyond Burnout: Nicole Walters' Blueprint For Achieving Career Success On Your Own Terms
Nicole Walters has always been known for two things: her ambition and her ability to recognize when life’s challenges can also double as an inspiring, lucrative brand.
This was first evident more than a decade ago when she quit her job as the corporate executive of a Fortune 500 company during a Periscope livestream. “I’m not sure if there’s an alignment of [our] future trajectory. I’m going to work for myself. I'm promoting myself to work for myself,” she said at the time before flashing a smile at the viewing audience. As she resigned on camera, a constant stream of encouraging messages floated upwards on the screen.
By 2021, she’d fashioned her work as a corporate consultant and her personal life with her husband and three adopted daughters into a reality show, She’s The Boss, for USA Network. This year, she released the New York Times bestselling memoir Nothing Is Missing, written as she was in the process of getting a divorce and dealing with her eldest daughter’s struggles with substance use.
Convinced that there’s no way the 39-year-old has achieved all of this without intentional strategic planning, I asked her about it when we spoke less than a week before Christmas. I’d seen videos on social media of her working on 2024 planning for other brands, and I wanted to know what that looked like following her own year of success.
She listed a number of goals, including ensuring that the projects she takes on in the new year align with her identity “as a Black woman, as an African woman, as a mother, as someone who has lived a [rebuilding] season and is now trying to live boldly and entirely as themselves.” But, I was shocked by how much of her business planning also prioritized rest.
Despite the bestselling book, a self-titled podcast, and working with numerous corporations, Walters said she’s been taking Fridays off. This year, she doesn’t want to work on Mondays, either.
“A lot of us think we work hard until retirement hits. I want to progress towards retirement,” she said, noting that she’ll check in with herself around March to see how successful this plan has been. The goal, Walters said, is to only be working on Tuesdays and Thursdays by sometime in 2025. “It is intentionally building out what I know I would like to have happen and not waiting for exhaustion to be the trigger of change.”
"A lot of us think we work hard until retirement hits. I want to progress towards retirement... It is intentionally building out what I know I would like to happen and not waiting for exhaustion to be the trigger of change."
Walters said the decision to progressively work less was partially in response to her previously held notions about her career, especially as an entrepreneur. “When I first started, I thought burnout was a part of it,” she said. “What I didn’t realize is that even if you’re able to bounce out of burnout or get back to it, there’s a cumulative impact on your body. If you think of your body as a tree and every time you go through burnout, you are taking a hack out of your trunk, yes, that trunk will heal over, and the tree will continue to grow, but it doesn't mean that you don’t have a weakened stem.”
But, the desire for increased rest was also in response to the major shifts that occurred three years ago when she was experiencing major changes in her family and realized her metaphorical tree was “bending all the way over.”
Courtesy
“One of the things we have to recognize, especially as Black women, is that there is this engrained, societal, systemic notion that our worth is built around our productivity,” she added. “That is some language that I think is just now starting to really get unpacked.” In recent years, there’s been an increased awareness of achieving balance in life, with Tricia Hersey’s “The Nap Ministry” gaining attention based on the idea that rest, especially for Black women, is a form of resistance. Even online phrases such as “soft life” and “quiet quitting” have hinted at a cultural shift in prioritizing leisure over professional ambition.
"One of the things we have to recognize, especially as Black women, is that there is this engrained, societal, systemic notion that our worth is built around our productivity."
If companies are lining up to consult with Walters about their brands and products, then women have been looking to her for guidance on starting over since she invited them to livestream her resignation 12 years ago. As viewers continue to demand more from content creators in the form of intimate, personal details, Walters has navigated her personal brand with a sense of transparency without oversharing the vulnerable details about her life, especially when it comes to her family.
The entrepreneur said she’d been approached to write a book for several years and was initially convinced she was finally ready to write one about business. “I started to do that, and then I went through my divorce. When that happened, I said, why would I write a book telling people to get the life that I have when I’m not sure about the life that I have,” she said.
Instead, she decided to write Nothing Is Missing and provide a closer look at her life, starting with being born to immigrant Ghanaian parents (“You need to know my childhood to know why I’m passionate about entrepreneurship.”) through the adoption of her three daughters and eventual divorce. Despite her desire to share, however, she said she felt protective of the privacy of her family, including her ex-husband.
When discussing this with me, Walters said she was reminded of a lesson she learned from actress Kerry Washington, who released her own memoir, Thicker Than Water, just a week before Walters’ book release. Washington’s memoir grapples with family secrets, too, specifically the fact that she was conceived using a sperm donor and didn’t learn about it until she was already a successful TV star. While Washington reflects on how the decision and subsequent deception impacted her, she’s also careful to hold space for her parents’ experiences, too. “A lot of things she said was that she had to recognize where she was the supporting character and where she was the main character,” Walter said.
This is something Walter worked to do in Nothing Is Missing when discussing her daughter’s struggles with addiction. “I was very intentional about making sure that I did not reveal more than what was required,” she said. “If I say something about someone’s addiction, I don’t need to go into the list of the substances they used, how they used them, what I found. [I don’t need to] walk into a room and paint a picture of what it looked like for people to understand.”
Walters said some of the most vulnerable moments in the book barely made a ripple once it was released. She was extremely nervous to write about getting an abortion, she said. But no one has asked her about this in the months since the book was released. Instead, people have been more interested in quirkier revelations, such as the fact that she once appeared on Wheel of Fortune.
“I have bared my soul about this thing I went through in my youth that has changed me for people, and people are like, ‘So how heavy was the wheel when you spun it?’” she said, chuckling. “It just goes to show that people never worry about the thing that you worry about.”
With the success of Nothing Is Missing, Walters said she still isn’t planning to release a business book at the moment. But, as she navigates parenting a teenager and two adult children while also navigating a relationship with her new fiancé, Walters said she believes she has at least one or two more books to write about her personal journey. “There is sort of an arc of where my life has gone that I know I’ve got something more to say about this that I think is important, relevant and necessary,” she said.
In just three years, Walters’ life has undergone a major transformation. There’s no telling what the next three years will have in store for her, but it seems likely she’ll retain an inspired audience wherever life takes her.
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The first Full Moon of 2024 is on January 25, and we are letting go of all that no longer serves us. This Full Moon will be in Leo, and it’s only fitting we start the year on a confident tone like this fire sign. This Full Moon is all about releasing past versions of yourself that were aligned with self-doubt, honoring the gift of who you are, and choosing to forgive. When the Moon is in Leo, emotions run high, and you can expect people to speak their truth, open up emotionally, and connect deeper to the heart. An opportunity for reflection and redirection is being given now, and this Full Moon is a powerful one.
What Full Moons Mean in Astrology
Full Moons are the time of the month to let go, heal, renew, and rest. They are a time when matters from the past month come full circle, and when you get to gain some much-needed clarity needed for closure. The past month comes into focus during a Full Moon, and what you were once just initiating or pondering over prior, is now illuminated. Whereas New Moons are a time to set intentions, Full Moons are a time to seek gratitude for what you already have. With this Full Moon being a Wolf Moon, this particular Full Moon signifies a time of fulfillment, awakening, and recognition.
The First Full Moon of 2024
During the Full Moon, take time to acknowledge how worthy you are to live in your truth, to love yourself unconditionally, and to be confident in what you have built and are building for yourself. As the Aquarius Sun opposes the Leo Moon, we are being reminded that loving yourself isn’t selfish, and being in this energy only attracts those who recognize the love within you and match that. Let go of anything that makes you feel unworthy of all that you are capable of or want for yourself, and give gratitude to where you do feel authentic love.
Full Moon In Leo: How The First Full Moon Of 2024 Will Affect Each Zodiac Sign
Read for your sun, moon, and rising sign below, to see how this Full Moon will be illuminating your life.
1.ARIES
The first Full Moon of the year is happening in fellow fire sign, Leo, and things are heating up for you in regard to romance right now, Aries. This Leo Full Moon will be moving through your 5th house of love, joy, pleasure, and self-expression, and this is an exciting time for you overall. More opportunities for fun, creativity, and entertainment come to fruition for you now, and your heart is opening to the love that is here for you.
Life is coming full circle, and your heart is getting a clear view of how much love you are truly worthy of.
The clarity you are gaining this Full Moon is healing things for you in love and is creating an opening for a fresh start to take place for you in life. Luck is on your side during this Full Moon.
2.TAURUS
This Full Moon is bringing matters of the home to the front and center of your life, Taurus. You may be feeling some conflicting energy here with family and close loved ones as you seek to let go of any misunderstandings or miscommunications that have left you feeling unstable. This is a time for gaining some much-needed clarity when it comes to your support systems and sense of safety in life, and you are getting the opportunity to regroup and maintain that.
This is a very karmic time for you overall, with this Full Moon being in your 4th house of destiny, and a lot is changing and coming to light when it comes to your foundations in life. Honor your need for more rest and nurture, and reset if you need to.
3.GEMINI
The Leo Full Moon is a time of culmination for you financially and when it comes to communication matters, Gemini. Past hard work and efforts have come to fruition for you now, and you are seeing your due rewards and recognition. Abundance is blooming, and you have everything you need beside you. Allow yourself to consider how one culmination can lead to many other doors that will open, and know the successes you are seeing right now are only the beginning of what is possible for you.
Honor your goals and inspirations, communicate from the heart, and connect with like-minded souls with whom you resonate. Messages and divine guidance are coming in for you during this Full Moon, and you are creating space for dreams to be fulfilled.
4.CANCER
You are letting go of fears and aligning with self-trust and abundance during this Full Moon, Cancer. This Full Moon for you is reminding you to be patient on what you are building for yourself and to trust that your intentions will see manifestation when they are ready to. This is a good time to plan long-term financially, pay off any debts, clean out your purse or wallet, and clear things up in this area of your life.
Remember the gifts that come from valuing yourself rather than valuing what you have, and be confident in where you stand right now.
This Full Moon is giving you clarity on financial matters, clearing things up here, and helping you see where you can grow, let go, and replan.
5.LEO
The first Full Moon of the year is happening in your sign, and it’s setting the tone for the spotlight that is going to be on you this year, and also on the major culminations and changes you will be moving through as well. With this Full Moon occurring in your 1st house of self, this is one of the most important Full Moons of the year for you. A lot is wrapping up for you at this time; past goals are coming full circle, and you will soon be beginning anew in your personal life.
This is a time of being seen, recognized, and supported, and for seeing yourself with new clarity, love, and acceptance as well. This is a good Full Moon to honor your renewed passions and interests in life and to do what feels good for you right now.
6.VIRGO
Passion and creativity are high for you during this Full Moon, and things are especially inspiring for you right now, Virgo. This Full Moon will be happening at the very bottom of your chart, and you are going through a major release and regrouping in your life. You are letting go of any heaviness that has been weighing you down and keeping you stuck and uninspired, and are seeing the gifts in showing up and being confident to put yourself out there.
You deserve to be heard and you deserve to take up space, and you are letting go of shying away or isolating yourself from potential connections and opportunities. You are living in your truth and doing things your way right now, and this Full Moon is a time of healing through self-love.
7.LIBRA
The Leo Full Moon is a chance at clarity and acceptance, Libra. This Full Moon will be in your 11th house of friendship, community, hopes, and dreams; and you are getting the full picture on these matters right now. During this Full Moon, you are thinking about your destiny, life purpose, who you surround yourself with, and what your overall dreams are in life. Circumstances within your friendships, social circle, or finances may be changing right now, and you could feel more pressure to hold onto things that need to be let go of for now.
Closures happening in your life during this Full Moon, but they are leading to more fulfilling experiences for you. Know that what ends or transforms for you right now is helping you gain a new perspective and facilitate the manifestation of your dreams.
8.SCORPIO
This Full Moon is all about your career and professional goals, reputation, and achievements. Scorpio, you are getting a clearer view of what accomplishments you can settle into now, and which goals don’t make sense for you anymore. You may be feeling more pressure to perform, to complete projects, or to be in a more successful state than you currently feel. Allow yourself to gain a new perspective, and to believe in yourself and what dreams you want to go after in life, no matter how impossible they may seem to you now.
You are on your own timeline, and there is a lot to be grateful for here.
This Full Moon overall is helping you do a major let go of what’s been hindering your personal growth and is giving you the space and freedom to forge a new path for yourself. Think more long-term right now and give yourself grace.
9.SAGITTARIUS
There is a lot to grasp during this Full Moon, and you need some time and space to do so, Sag. This Full Moon is occurring in your 9th house of perspective, expansion, travel, and the higher mind- and is the time to get aligned and get centered. You are thinking a lot about your belief systems and which ones have been serving you or limiting you, and are getting some much-needed personal clarity. This is a good time to find healthy ways to mentally heal, gain peace of mind, and be in spaces where you don’t have to overthink.
This is a more spiritual, intuitive, and eye-opening time for you, as you awaken to more than you could have ever dreamed of. Take a moment of gratitude for all that’s become clear to you, and keep the faith.
10.CAPRICORN
Everything is coming into balance for you right now, Capricorn. This is a Full Moon where the clarity you gain changes everything moving forward, and one when your past investments are seeing a return. What you have been putting your time, energy, and dedication into is coming full circle, and you are recognizing where your commitments have served you well, and which ones have felt more like time wasted. You are ready to make some important decisions right now, and you are being supported as you do so.
Financially, you may be seeing some wins now as well, as you are being recognized for your savvy mindset and ambitious energy. You are ready to let go of past fears and are overcoming a lot during this Full Moon.
11.AQUARIUS
Aquarius Season is underway, and the first Full Moon of the year happens in your sister sign, Leo. With this Leo Full Moon, love is the focus, and relationship matters are coming full circle for you right now. This Full Moon is a time to let go of what’s been keeping you away from feeling more connected and in tune with your relationships, and to give this area of your life more of your attention. Romance wants to bloom for you now, but you may need to let go, forgive the past, and create some space to allow more of that energy in.
This Full Moon is teaching you to be confident in love and to know that you deserve all the good you dream of here. Life is reflecting to you how you have been feeling within, and you are coming to some conclusions on what you want to do from here.
12.PISCES
This is an exciting Full Moon for you Pisces, and a time when things begin to move forward again where they were once stagnant. The Full Moon is transiting your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines, and you are moving through a culmination here in your life. You are focused on taking care of your well-being, doing things that benefit your body, handling your responsibilities, and letting go of any unhealthy habits that have been restricting you in any way.
You are ready to let go of what isn’t serving in mind, body, and soul overall right now, and this is positively benefiting you. There is a lot of growth taking place in your life during this Full Moon, and support is coming in for you.
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