Not too long ago, I saw an article that had a title that made me chuckle—"Eighty-Four Percent of Families Plan to Be Together this Christmas, even Though Two-thirds Predict an Argument with Relatives, According to New International Survey". Goodness. If you just read that and shook your head because you can totally relate, perhaps, "This Will Keep Your Family Off Of Your LAST Nerve This Holiday Season" might be the better read for you than this one (good luck and hang in there).
On the other hand, if you're someone who has decided to totally buck the system and forego all of the holiday travel, family bonding and potential drama so that you can have a nice quiet time at home with you and your boo—first of all, congrats. I salute anyone who chooses to do the holidays their own way. Secondly, I've got a few ideas the two of you can do together; things that will help to turn your home into an unforgettable romantic winter wonderland for you and yours—whether it snows outside or not this year or not.
Decorate Your Tree (or Go with a Tree Alternative)
As far as decorating your tree goes, this is probably already something that the two of you do. But the reason why it tops the list is because, what I mean is, to make a ritual out of it. Turn on some of your favorite music; break open a bottle of wine; once the lights are on the tree, dim your overhead lighting; turn off the television and silence your smartphone—shoot, put on some sexy lingerie and then decorate the tree. Maybe even take out this time to make a couple of ornaments; it's a great way to have fun with your partner and create memories at the same time (check out some DIY links here, here and here).
Or, if you'd prefer to spare a live tree this year or you want to go with more of an avant-garde look in your home, you could make—a tree display out of copper and wood (here); a wooden tree to display your Christmas greeting cards from (here); a wall-mounted tree out of velvet fabric (here); a tree that's made from yarn (here), or you can get a couple of faux tabletop trees to put on your nightstands and call it a day.
Cook (or Bake) Christmas Childhood Favorites
As a marriage life coach, something that I think can help couples to understand each other more is to discuss their childhoods more often. For instance, there is someone I know who doesn't miss a Christmas without watching The Wizard of Oz; like they get low-key irate if they miss it. When I finally asked them why, they explained that while growing up with an alcoholic parent, watching that movie was the only time when there seemed to be peace in the house. Someone else told me that big Christmas breakfasts are a must-do tradition because it reminds them of their home before their parents broke up.
Cooking with your partner is already a wonderful (and effective) way to spend quality time with them. But if you both are intentional about preparing some Christmas childhood favorites, the stories that you both share can shed some enlightenment and, in turn, bring the both of you closer together too.
Watch Your Favorite Throwback Christmas Episodes
Pretty much any throwback program that you can think of has a Christmas episode. If you can't find them on your favorite streaming service, sites like Dailymotion and YouTube may have them. It could be a lot of fun to watch a Christmas episode of A Different World, Living Single or Moesha in between some of those sappy Christmas movies that are in heavy rotation right about now. I know I always dig them when I see them.
Slow Drag—then Make Out—to Christmas Classics
In this ever-shifting culture, one thing that never gets old is slow dragging. I think it's because, whether you can actually dance or not, it's something that you can pull off. Plus, you're able to get all close 'n cuddly with your partner. Yeah, the slow drag continues to be undefeated. That's why I say that, in between all of the things on this list, take out at least 30 minutes to put on some of your favorite Black Christmas music classics while slow dragging underneath a mistletoe. If you do it right, the dance could turn into a make out session and…who knows what that could lead to?
Make S’mores in Your Fireplace
Dark chocolate is quite the aphrodisiac. If you're fortunate enough to have a fireplace, create your own mini bonfire by making some s'mores in it. You can find a classic recipe, along with over a dozen more creative ones, here. Or, if you still like the s'mores idea but all you've got is an oven, you can still make some bomb ones by following this recipe.
Have an Indoor (or Outdoor) Picnic
Something that couples can actually have year-round are picnics; it doesn't have to be indoors either. Yeah, I already know that some of y'all are looking at me like I am crazy, but I personally know some couples—yes, Black ones—who have had some really romantic Valentine's Day picnics outdoors with the help of some chicken noodle soup, hot chocolate and chunky knitted blankets.
Anyway, if you totally dig the picnic concept but indoor is more your speed, here are some of the things that you will need to totally set it off:
- An indoor tent
- Some candles (or twinkle lights)
- Some throw pills
- Background music
- Some finger foods
- A Christmas-themed dish
- A bottle of bubbly
- Dessert
After a little time in an indoor picnic tent, there's no telling how much you might end up prefer it to your own bed (if you know what I mean).
Play a Christmas Music or Movies Drinking Game
So, earlier this year, I read an article that addressed if sex when you're drunk or high is better, strictly from a scientific perspective. Long story short, if you wanna take more sexual risks, get drunk; if you want sex to feel better, get high. But if, for whatever the reason, weed ain't your thing, go with red wine. It's proven to boost the libido of men and especially women which can make for a really good time.
Make the drinking even more enjoyable by having your own Christmas pop culture drinking game. Ask each other questions about some classic Black Christmas movies and music and take a shot every time you get an answer wrong. Shoot, take the game up a notch by also taking off a piece of clothing too. A game that ends with some red wine-induced sex is a game worth playing (a few times), if you ask me.
Give Each Other a Love Language Present
Over this past year, we touched on the importance of love languages in relationships quite a bit (check out "I Discovered My Husband's Love Language ...And It Changed Everything", "Your Love Language, According To Your Zodiac Sign", "Knowing Your Partner's Love Language Can Transform Your Relationship" and "15 Date Ideas Based On Your Love Language").
One way to convey to your partner that you not only know what their love language is, but you understand how to speak it is to give them a Christmas present that is based on their love language.
For instance, if their love language is quality time, give them a reservation to a bed and breakfast in the next city. Or, if their love language is acts of service, offer to use your gifts and talents to help them get an idea off of the ground in the new year. Love language gifts are cool because, not only are they thoughtful, they can make you and your partner feel seen, heard and felt which is always a really beautiful and beneficial thing.
Also, Give Each Other a “12 Dates of Christmas” Date Jar
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Speaking of spending quality time together, if you and yours have big plans in 2021, make sure that the romance in your relationship doesn't fall by the wayside. One way to avoid that is to plan ahead when it comes to going on future dates. One way to do that is by giving each other a "12 Dates of Christmas" Date Jar (not to be mistaken by the sex jar that every long-term committed couple also should have in their possession as well). In it, put pieces of paper that have cool date ideas for the next 12 months. Both of you hand each other a jar come Christmas morning. It can be exciting to see what the two of you have come up with. Plus, you can both have the assurance that you'll be going on at least two dates a month until 2022 rolls around.
TOTALLY UNPLUG
If you and yours are serious about having a quiet and romantic Christmas, let those close to you know that you'll be falling totally off of the grid, at least from December 24 thru December 26. Then put your cell phones on vibrate and in a room where you won't be spending a ton of time. Keep your computers off, period and only have your television on to watch movies and television programs—no news (including entertainment news).
When you make a point to totally disconnect from technology, a day away can seem like an entire week. Plus, it can give you and yours time to really relax and reconnect with one another. Out of all of the suggestions I've shared, this is what could end up being the very thing that could result in you having the very best Christmas yet!
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Originally published on December 12, 2019
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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A fast metabolism? It can help you burn calories. A slow metabolism? It makes that a more challenging effort.
So, let’s take a deeper look into what metabolism is all about and what you might be doing, perhaps without even noticing, that could be slowing down your metabolism, which could make getting the results that you desire more difficult than it actually has — or needs — to be.
The Truth About Your Metabolism
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Although metabolism is a word that is brought up quite a bit, both online and off, in order to fully understand why yours may be faster or slower, it’s a good idea to know exactly what metabolism is.
A simple way to explain it is metabolism is a chemical process in your body that determines how your body turns food and drinks into actual energy. Since you need energy in order to literally function, this is why learning about your own metabolism is an essential thing to do.
For instance, did you know that whenever you eat, your digestive system uses enzymes to turn fats into fatty acids, carbs into simple sugars, and proteins into amino acids — and all of these things can be relied upon for energy? And although several factors within your system play a role in how fast or slow your metabolism may be (your thyroid certainly tops the list, by the way), there are certain things that you may be doing that could be speeding up or slowing down your metabolism as well.
Now before I get into what some of those things are, I think it should also go on record that if you want to know more about metabolism because you’re ready to shed a few pounds, while metabolism certainly plays a role in how fast you do or don’t burn calories, tweaking habits in order to speed up your metabolism won’t automatically help you to reach your weight loss goals alone. You also need to adjust your diet, exercise, get plenty of rest, lower your stress levels, and be intentional about not taking in more calories than you burn on a daily basis.
Still, since we do know that people who burn calories faster don’t have to count them as much and having a faster metabolism can also do things like slow down premature aging and build more muscle mass, it can never hurt to know what you may be (inadvertently) doing that could be causing you to have a sluggish metabolism. That way, you can make a few adjustments in order to get the metabolic results that you want.
And in the efforts to help you to do just that, here are 10 ways that you may be slowing down your own metabolism.
10 Things That Could Be Slowing Down Your Metabolism
1. Consuming Too Little Protein
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There’s a pretty big reason why not having enough protein in your system can result in you ending up with a sluggish metabolism. The reality is your body uses protein in order to build and increase muscle mass, to keep your bones strong, to grow and renew your body cells and tissues, and to give your body the energy it needs in order to function properly and burn fat.
This is why it’s essential to consume somewhere around 0.36 grams of protein per pound on a daily basis.
2. Drinking Too Much Sugary Stuff
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If you want to speed up your metabolism, consider drinking some green tea. If you want to know what drinks could be slowing down your metabolism, that would be the sugary stuff like soda. Although having one every once in a while won’t do any real damage, too much fructose or sucrose can ultimately lead to inflammation, fat accumulation, and it can throw your metabolism off, too.
So, if sweet drinks are your thing, try and consume no more than one a day; then follow that with a glass of water, for you and your metabolism’s sake.
3. Being Dehydrated
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Since you’re made up of mostly water, it makes all the sense in the world that you should be proactive about avoiding dehydration. Also, since your metabolism begins at a cellular level and water carries oxygen, the more water that is in your system, the easier it is for your metabolism to have the energy that it needs in order to work effectively. And how much water do you need on a daily basis?
Some health experts say that 11 cups (not glasses, cups) a day, if you’re a woman (15 if you’re a man), should get you what you need.
4. Keeping Your Thermostat Too High
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Although you’ve probably heard somewhere that your metabolism kicks up when you feel hot, there is something that you should keep in mind. When it’s time to turn in for the evening, you actually should keep your bedroom on the cooler side. The method to the madness is when the temp is somewhere in the late 60s, that will cause your body to have to work harder to keep you warm, and that will send your metabolism into a bit of an overdrive.
Since cooler rooms are proven to improve your quality of sleep overall, why not try it for a couple of nights? See how it makes you feel.
5. Avoiding a Consistent Exercise Regimen
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Hands down, something that helps to keep your metabolism going is a regular workout routine. If you make a point to do consistent strength training and resistance exercises, that can help your body to build muscle over time which, in turn, burns calories. Women’s Health has some specific exercises that can help you to give your metabolism a boost. You can check them out here.
6. Needing a Calcium Supplement
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If you’re someone who takes supplements, look on the back of your labels to make sure that there is calcium on one of the bottles. Calcium helps to keep your bones and teeth strong, it helps your hormones and enzymes to do what they need to do and it’s also a nutrient that boosts your metabolism, so that it’s easier for your body to burn fat.
7. Cooking with Too Much Sea Salt
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If you like to cook with sea salt, something that you might want to keep in mind is the fact that it could slow your metabolism down some. The backstory on this is that sea salt doesn’t contain iodine in the way that most standard table salt does, and that can be potentially problematic because your body needs iodine in order to keep your thyroid healthy, so that you are able to have more energy. The more you know. The more you freakin’ know.
8. Being Sleep-Deprived
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The more I study about how beneficial a good night’s rest is, the more I see just how detrimental sleep deprivation can be, in pretty much every way. Take your metabolism, for example. When you don’t get 6-8 hours of shut-eye on a consistent basis, it can throw your hormone levels off, which can directly impact how fast your metabolism moves. And since, reportedly, your metabolism automatically slows down 15 percent at night anyway, all of this is a smart thing to keep in mind when it comes to eating late at night.
Indeed, less rest and midnight meals can definitely help you to pack the pounds on.
9. Erratic Meal Times
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Lawd. If there is something that I personally need to make sure to keep in check, it’s this point because, when I’m in a zone while hammering away on my laptop, it can be really easy to lose track of time, and that can do a real number on my metabolism. Here’s why: One thing that your body does is provide fuel for you to have enough energy to get through the day. When your meal times are consistent, your body knows how to process your calories by burning them; however, when your eating times are all over the place, your system doesn’t know whether to burn calories or store them up.
So, if you want your metabolism to be stabilized, eating (especially) main meals need to happen at relatively the same time every day.
10. Not Eating Enough
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One more. If you are indeed trying to ramp up your metabolism in order to shed a few pounds, please don’t do that by starving yourself. Although it is indeed true that in order to lose weight, you should cut back a bit on your caloric intake, if you’re eating too little, your body will think that it needs to slow down your metabolism in order to hold onto the food that is already in your system for a while longer.
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Ain’t it wild how so many simple things can cause pseudo complications for our metabolism? That’s the bad news. The good news is that if you’re willing to make some minor adjustments, you can probably rev your metabolism up, just in time for the plans that you have for your body before summer officially arrives!
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