

This Is How To Have A Quiet & Romantic Christmas At Home
Not too long ago, I saw an article that had a title that made me chuckle—"Eighty-Four Percent of Families Plan to Be Together this Christmas, even Though Two-thirds Predict an Argument with Relatives, According to New International Survey". Goodness. If you just read that and shook your head because you can totally relate, perhaps, "This Will Keep Your Family Off Of Your LAST Nerve This Holiday Season" might be the better read for you than this one (good luck and hang in there).
On the other hand, if you're someone who has decided to totally buck the system and forego all of the holiday travel, family bonding and potential drama so that you can have a nice quiet time at home with you and your boo—first of all, congrats. I salute anyone who chooses to do the holidays their own way. Secondly, I've got a few ideas the two of you can do together; things that will help to turn your home into an unforgettable romantic winter wonderland for you and yours—whether it snows outside or not this year or not.
Decorate Your Tree (or Go with a Tree Alternative)
As far as decorating your tree goes, this is probably already something that the two of you do. But the reason why it tops the list is because, what I mean is, to make a ritual out of it. Turn on some of your favorite music; break open a bottle of wine; once the lights are on the tree, dim your overhead lighting; turn off the television and silence your smartphone—shoot, put on some sexy lingerie and then decorate the tree. Maybe even take out this time to make a couple of ornaments; it's a great way to have fun with your partner and create memories at the same time (check out some DIY links here, here and here).
Or, if you'd prefer to spare a live tree this year or you want to go with more of an avant-garde look in your home, you could make—a tree display out of copper and wood (here); a wooden tree to display your Christmas greeting cards from (here); a wall-mounted tree out of velvet fabric (here); a tree that's made from yarn (here), or you can get a couple of faux tabletop trees to put on your nightstands and call it a day.
Cook (or Bake) Christmas Childhood Favorites
As a marriage life coach, something that I think can help couples to understand each other more is to discuss their childhoods more often. For instance, there is someone I know who doesn't miss a Christmas without watching The Wizard of Oz; like they get low-key irate if they miss it. When I finally asked them why, they explained that while growing up with an alcoholic parent, watching that movie was the only time when there seemed to be peace in the house. Someone else told me that big Christmas breakfasts are a must-do tradition because it reminds them of their home before their parents broke up.
Cooking with your partner is already a wonderful (and effective) way to spend quality time with them. But if you both are intentional about preparing some Christmas childhood favorites, the stories that you both share can shed some enlightenment and, in turn, bring the both of you closer together too.
Watch Your Favorite Throwback Christmas Episodes
Pretty much any throwback program that you can think of has a Christmas episode. If you can't find them on your favorite streaming service, sites like Dailymotion and YouTube may have them. It could be a lot of fun to watch a Christmas episode of A Different World, Living Single or Moesha in between some of those sappy Christmas movies that are in heavy rotation right about now. I know I always dig them when I see them.
Slow Drag—then Make Out—to Christmas Classics
In this ever-shifting culture, one thing that never gets old is slow dragging. I think it's because, whether you can actually dance or not, it's something that you can pull off. Plus, you're able to get all close 'n cuddly with your partner. Yeah, the slow drag continues to be undefeated. That's why I say that, in between all of the things on this list, take out at least 30 minutes to put on some of your favorite Black Christmas music classics while slow dragging underneath a mistletoe. If you do it right, the dance could turn into a make out session and…who knows what that could lead to?
Make S’mores in Your Fireplace
Dark chocolate is quite the aphrodisiac. If you're fortunate enough to have a fireplace, create your own mini bonfire by making some s'mores in it. You can find a classic recipe, along with over a dozen more creative ones, here. Or, if you still like the s'mores idea but all you've got is an oven, you can still make some bomb ones by following this recipe.
Have an Indoor (or Outdoor) Picnic
Something that couples can actually have year-round are picnics; it doesn't have to be indoors either. Yeah, I already know that some of y'all are looking at me like I am crazy, but I personally know some couples—yes, Black ones—who have had some really romantic Valentine's Day picnics outdoors with the help of some chicken noodle soup, hot chocolate and chunky knitted blankets.
Anyway, if you totally dig the picnic concept but indoor is more your speed, here are some of the things that you will need to totally set it off:
- An indoor tent
- Some candles (or twinkle lights)
- Some throw pills
- Background music
- Some finger foods
- A Christmas-themed dish
- A bottle of bubbly
- Dessert
After a little time in an indoor picnic tent, there's no telling how much you might end up prefer it to your own bed (if you know what I mean).
Play a Christmas Music or Movies Drinking Game
So, earlier this year, I read an article that addressed if sex when you're drunk or high is better, strictly from a scientific perspective. Long story short, if you wanna take more sexual risks, get drunk; if you want sex to feel better, get high. But if, for whatever the reason, weed ain't your thing, go with red wine. It's proven to boost the libido of men and especially women which can make for a really good time.
Make the drinking even more enjoyable by having your own Christmas pop culture drinking game. Ask each other questions about some classic Black Christmas movies and music and take a shot every time you get an answer wrong. Shoot, take the game up a notch by also taking off a piece of clothing too. A game that ends with some red wine-induced sex is a game worth playing (a few times), if you ask me.
Give Each Other a Love Language Present
Over this past year, we touched on the importance of love languages in relationships quite a bit (check out "I Discovered My Husband's Love Language ...And It Changed Everything", "Your Love Language, According To Your Zodiac Sign", "Knowing Your Partner's Love Language Can Transform Your Relationship" and "15 Date Ideas Based On Your Love Language").
One way to convey to your partner that you not only know what their love language is, but you understand how to speak it is to give them a Christmas present that is based on their love language.
For instance, if their love language is quality time, give them a reservation to a bed and breakfast in the next city. Or, if their love language is acts of service, offer to use your gifts and talents to help them get an idea off of the ground in the new year. Love language gifts are cool because, not only are they thoughtful, they can make you and your partner feel seen, heard and felt which is always a really beautiful and beneficial thing.
Also, Give Each Other a “12 Dates of Christmas” Date Jar
Shutterstock
Speaking of spending quality time together, if you and yours have big plans in 2021, make sure that the romance in your relationship doesn't fall by the wayside. One way to avoid that is to plan ahead when it comes to going on future dates. One way to do that is by giving each other a "12 Dates of Christmas" Date Jar (not to be mistaken by the sex jar that every long-term committed couple also should have in their possession as well). In it, put pieces of paper that have cool date ideas for the next 12 months. Both of you hand each other a jar come Christmas morning. It can be exciting to see what the two of you have come up with. Plus, you can both have the assurance that you'll be going on at least two dates a month until 2022 rolls around.
TOTALLY UNPLUG
If you and yours are serious about having a quiet and romantic Christmas, let those close to you know that you'll be falling totally off of the grid, at least from December 24 thru December 26. Then put your cell phones on vibrate and in a room where you won't be spending a ton of time. Keep your computers off, period and only have your television on to watch movies and television programs—no news (including entertainment news).
When you make a point to totally disconnect from technology, a day away can seem like an entire week. Plus, it can give you and yours time to really relax and reconnect with one another. Out of all of the suggestions I've shared, this is what could end up being the very thing that could result in you having the very best Christmas yet!
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on December 12, 2019
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After being a regular contributor for about four years and being (eh hem) MIA in 2022, Shellie is back penning for the platform (did you miss her? LOL).
In some ways, nothing has changed and in others, everything has. For now, she'll just say that she's working on the 20th anniversary edition of her first book, she's in school to take life coaching to another level and she's putting together a platform that supports and encourages Black men because she loves them from head to toe.
Other than that, she still works with couples, she's still a doula, she's still not on social media and her email contact (missnosipho@gmail.com) still hasn't changed (neither has her request to contact her ONLY for personal reasons; pitch to the platform if you have story ideas).
Life is a funny thing but if you stay calm, moments can come full circle and this is one of them. No doubt about it.
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Your Guide To Vacay Looks Serving Luxe Resort Wear Energy All Summer Long
Planning a getaway? Well, it’s finally that season! Tis the season of wearing less and going out more; for mini skirts, knitted tanks, sheer everything; for fun in the sun, and everything in between.
From quiet luxury to neon monochromatic and everything in between, it can be difficult to nail down the ultimate resort wear style. So many trends, so little time.
With the ushering in of warmer weather comes a similar sentiment of light layers and colorful palettes. To help inspire your forthcoming vacay looks, we tracked down our favorite traveling ladies and dove into all things resort wear for 2023.
Achieng
@noordinarynoire
Courtesy of Achieng @noordinarynoire
Credit: Jon Navas @itsjdn
Q: How would you describe your vacation style?
A: My vacation style is clothing that feels like a second skin, clothing that is airy and light and just falls so effortlessly on the body. Satin slips, silk two-piece sets, crochet and mesh pieces, kaftans, and headwraps [are] where it is at! I also lean mostly towards bright jewel tones because how are you going to really live your best vacation life in a world that is not vibrant?
Q: What three items are you adding to your resort wardrobe this year?
A: 1.) 100000% a statement bag! Really loving the versatility of colorful straw totes or statement bags from Cult Gaia! 2.) A cute gold hoop that can take a simple outfit from 0 to 100! And finally, 3.) a little black dress that I can dress up or down on any vacation I go to!
Q: What's the biggest resort wear trend you're looking forward to in 2023?
A: One trend that I expect to be popular in 2023 resort wear is definitely vibrant and bold airy knits and crochet pieces. We have seen brands such as Cult Gaia, Simon Miller, and Hanifa really kill it on that end. Another trend that is expected to be big in 2023 is the use of sustainable and eco-friendly materials in resort wear. Consumers are becoming increasingly conscious [of] the impact of fashion on the environment, and many designers are responding by creating resort wear collections that are made from recycled materials or materials that have a lower environmental impact.
Q: Favorite resort wear brand or place to shop?
A: Fe Noel and Cult Gaia and Shopbop for all the fabulous accessories!
Q: If you can only pack one item on vacation, what is it?
A: Sunscreen, 'cause honeyyyyyy this skin has to be protected!
Ebony
@fashioncrave
Courtesy of Ebony @fashioncrave
Credit: Luna @womaninmotion
Q: How would you describe your vacation style?
A: My vacation style is a mixture of pops of vibrant colors, flowy, lightweight fabrics like linen, silk, chiffon, wide-leg pants, exaggerated sleeves, maxi dresses, and detailed accessories.
Q: What are three items you're adding to your resort wardrobe this year?
A: I am most definitely adding corsets/bustiers, exotic floral prints, and [I] can’t forget the sheer flirty silhouettes.
Q: What's the biggest resort wear trend you're looking forward to in 2023?
A: I am a colorful, print-obsessed girlie as soon as I am in warmer weather! So I am, of course, super excited for all the vibrant printed pieces that will be on trend for this year’s resort wear collections.
Q: If you can only pack one item on vacation, what is it?
A: A linen oversized button-down, it's lightweight, breathable, and the versatility with styling is endless!
Marie Zoumanigui
@petitemarienyc
Courtesy of Marie Zoumanigui
Q: How would you describe your vacation style?
A: When it comes to vacation style, I have a bit of a dilemma: how can I pack all of my favorite clothes into one tiny carry-on? But in all seriousness, I'd describe my go-to vacation style as effortless and breezy. I love slip dresses for their versatility and comfort, and I always make sure to pack a blazer or two for those unexpected chilly nights. And, of course, a great pair of denim.
Q: What are three items you're adding to your resort wardrobe this year?
A: I'll definitely be adding some peek-a-boo knits for a touch of playful sophistication, tailored suit looks for their sleek and polished vibe, and, of course, some versatile and comfortable slip dresses.
Q: What's the biggest resort wear trend you're looking forward to in 2023?
A: I've been noticing a lot of white resort wear trends popping up lately, and I must say they are definitely catching my eye. I usually tend to avoid white clothing like the plague because, well, let's just say I can be a bit of a walking disaster. But I'm feeling bold this year, and I think I'm going to take a risk and try on some of the stunning white pieces I've seen around.
Q: If you can only pack one item on vacation, what is it?
A: I'm sure you won't be surprised by my answer - a slip dress, of course! It's my go-to piece for any occasion.
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Featured image by Jon Navas @itsjdn