7 Daily Affirmations For Single Woman To Speak Over Their Lives
It's interesting how people will assume that you're constantly unhappy, bitter, or discontent merely because of your relationship status…or lack thereof. People need to understand that: 1) being single doesn't mean your life is stagnant or that your life is on pause, 2) being in a relationship or being married isn't necessarily for everyone, and just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean your life is perfect, and 3) some people actually choose or prefer to be single…and that's totally fine.
Yes - I can attest to the fact that being married and being in love is truly one of the greatest experiences in life and I live for some #BlackLove and love seeing others experience true love. However, that doesn't negate the fact that there are more than enough examples of dope and incredible women who are living their best lives as single women as well. They're single and loving it (or making the best of it as some would say)…and it's likely because somewhere along life's journey they, like many of us, have learned to embrace these seven affirmations as it relates to their single season.
1.My single status is a blessing, not a burden.
It's obvious to you that now is the best time to live your best life. There's no better time to put yourself first. You are walking boldly and proudly in your season because you understand that a relationship status doesn't make you; rather, who you are and what you decide to do with your life and your purpose is what makes you. You refuse to allow others to make you feel some type of way about your single season, whether it's by choice or force.
2.Relationship Goals: love God, love myself, love others…and in that order.
It might've taken some time, but now you understand that these are the most realistic #RelationshipGoals that you're interested in. You understand now more than ever that God wouldn't send you a relationship that would cause you to ruin your relationship with Him. Hence, when your priorities are right, then the love will be right. When it comes to the next relationship, you have basically declared: "If God ain't in it, then I don't want to be in it." There was a time when you made the relationship the priority above everything else in your life but later realized that you thought you found love but ended up losing yourself. Now, you've made yourself a priority and have learned how to love and embrace yourself before trying to love someone else.
3.I deserve to be with someone who is not only interested in me, but also intentional with me.
You can tell a lot about a man's interest in you based on how intentional he is toward you…and now you're able to tell the difference. You're paying attention to whether or not he's making excuses or making an effort because you truly believe that you're worth the date. Texting isn't enough. Snapchat isn't enough. You've made it known that in order for them to really get to know you, they will have to spend quality time with you.
4.If a man wants to be with me, then he’ll be with me.
You understand that the one who wants to be with you will make it clear not merely through his words, but through his actions. You're no longer wearing yourself out trying to force someone to be with you or forcing them to change because you also realize that you can't do that anyway. You've told yourself and you may have even told him that if he wants to make it work, then he'll put in the work. If he loves you, then he'll be good to you and good for you. You have decided that the only man you may ever chase after again in life will be the Ice Cream Man.
5.I will no longer make excuses for people who need to be excused from my life.
You are no longer holding onto people or putting your life on hold for someone who is holding you back. You waited long enough and you gave them enough time to "get ready" for a relationship. Ultimately, you allowed their indecision to help you make a decision that would help you, and you found the good in goodbye. You decided that you no longer wanted be connected to dysfunction, and instead, you wanted to meet up with your destiny. Now, more than ever, you realize that God has too much that He wants to do through you and for you to be wasting time with people who aren't meant to be in your life.
6.I am enough. If I can’t be myself, then I can’t be with them.
You're okay if they walk away because you understand your value, your worth, and your standards, and you refuse to settle for anything less than you deserve. You no longer act like a "relationship chameleon" and change who you are based on who you're dating. You understand that real love means they love the real you…"flaws and all." Yes – all of us change and evolve as life goes on and there are times when we have to compromise in relationships. However, you are no longer compromising your morals, values, or character merely for the sake of being in a relationship. You are committed to staying true to yourself and who you aspire to be.
7.I am right where I’m supposed to be.
You trust the timing of your life, and you're learning to embrace where you are on your journey. You realize that you are not alone, and you acknowledge that you're right where you're supposed to be. Gone are the days when you used to feel like you had to be married and have children by a certain age. You're no longer stressed or obsessed with living your life based on other people's timelines or societal pressures. You understand that comparison kills confidence, so you're more focused on living your life rather than someone else's life who you only see on social media.
Life has shown you – through your personal experiences and even the experiences of others - that even though things don't always go as planned, God's timing is always perfect. Just because it hasn't happened yet, doesn't mean that it won't. You have declared that "if it's meant to happen, it will happen at the right time, at the right place, with the right person, and for the right reasons."
Featured image by Getty Images
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Shonda Brown White is a bestselling author, blogger, life coach, and brand strategist. When she's not jumping out of a plane or zip lining, she's living the married life with her husband in Atlanta, GA. Connect with her on social @ShondaBWhite and her empowering real talk on her blog.
From Heartbreak To Healing: The Multifaceted Journey Of Nazanin Mandi
Nazanin Mandi is never out of options.
About a year ago, the 37-year-old life coach and actress was navigating life after divorce and determined to experience homeownership for the first time as a single woman. She’d been married to the R&B singer Miguel for three years, following a long-term relationship that started when she was 18 years old. But, in 2022, she filed for divorce. It was certainly the most public change she made but, in reality, it was just one of many decisions to refocus and reach her full potential in recent years.
“During my 20s, I was not ready for more. I was living a really crazy life. It was unpredictable. I was helping somebody else grow. It was a lot, and it was intense. I was not pouring into myself the way I should’ve been,” she says in an xoNecole exclusive.
Still, as Mandi worked to get to know herself and her needs during this new phase of life, she realized the home she’d purchased wasn’t a good fit. Overwhelmed by the echoing of her voice in the spacious home, she had a breakdown and called her cousin, who immediately suggested she lease the home and live somewhere else. “I woke up in my house, and I was like, ‘This is not it for me,” she says. “All those years, I had been accustomed to living a certain way [and] in a certain house, so I bought myself a house like [my old home]. But my family was not the same. Waking up in that house by myself, it highlighted the divorce. I was like, ‘Oh, no, we can’t do this. This is not it.’ My life has changed, so my choices need to change.” At that moment, Mandi became open to the idea that there wasn’t one set way to achieve ownership on her own.
“I feel so much better. I’m in a smaller place. My best friend lives a minute from me and I can walk to her house,” she tells me during a Zoom interview from her home one recent afternoon in early February. In the past two years, she hasn’t just been advising other people on varying circumstances, she’s also been healing herself.
"During my 20s, I was not ready for more. I was living a really crazy life. It was unpredictable. I was helping somebody else grow. It was a lot, and it was intense. I was not pouring into myself the way I should’ve been."
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
If supporters began following Nazanin Mandi because of her conventional beauty or the contagious, bright, white smile she often wears in many of her photos, that’s likely not the reason they’ve stuck around. Instead, she’s amassed a following based on her transparency about her own anxiety and depression, along with the encouraging messages of self-acceptance, gratitude, ambition, and humility that are often sprinkled into her social media posts.
In an era where looking at Instagram photos of models can often lead to feelings of self-doubt and insecurity, Nazanin Mandi is determined to be more than eye candy. She’s food for her follower’s souls, too.
Since being recruited to model while dining at an In-N-Out at 10 years old, Mandi has worked in many areas of entertainment. The Valencia, California native has modeled for brands such as Olay, Savage X Fenty, and Good American. As a teen, she sang at Carnegie Hall and auditioned for season 1 of American Idol, making it all the way to Hollywood before producers disqualified her for lying about her age. (Mandi was 15 at the time, and contestants had to be at least 16 years old.) Mandi has acted, too, including appearing on Disney’s That’s So Raven as a teenager and on the BET+ series Games People Play and the Prime series Á La Carte in more recent years.
In recent years, though, she’s also expanded her professional goals outside of entertainment, too. After becoming a certified life coach in 2020, Mandi launched the membership platform You Bloome in 2022 with the hopes of providing wellness services to others, including her self-published gratitude journal. “I wish I had access to something like You Bloome earlier in my own life,” she writes on the company’s website. The actress, who has been forthcoming about her struggles with anxiety and depression, has never had a life coach, but credits therapy as a tool that “really, really saved me and it laid the foundation to who I am becoming.”
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
"I’m trying to find the balance between living life and knowing that whatever is meant for me is going to happen, but also know that I’m doing everything in my power to make those things happen and better myself."
While she’s always had a nurturing personality, Mandi says her interest in becoming a life coach was inspired by the women who would message her for advice on social media. “I would answer them back. It really sparked a fire within myself to help people,” she says.
You Bloome currently has three membership tiers, ranging in price from $2.99 to $39.99 per month. The highest tier offers a motivational text message twice a week, two live, group coaching sessions per month, and more. “We get emotional. We cry. We laugh. It’s really beautiful. I’ve built close relationships with my members through this. It’s been inspiring both ways,” Mandi says of the sessions. Still, the founder says she hopes to take on more motivational and keynote speaking opportunities in the future with the hopes of impacting as many people as possible.
And, she’s hoping to do all of this while continuing to explore a career as an entertainer.
At this point in her life, Mandi says she’s gained enough perspective on modeling, music, and acting to realize what she wants to prioritize moving forward. “We are going full force with acting,” she says, noting her goal is “to book a series regular or a film that impacts my career and the world.” She plans to continue to model, too, but has no desire to pursue music.
“I don’t want any part of that because I know what that life entails,” she says. “I don’t want to tour. I don’t want to do any of that. That is not where my heart is at.”
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
If you ask Mandi, she’ll tell you she feels most comfortable in front of a camera, but she’ll also admit that she’s recently experienced a lot of imposter syndrome when thinking about her acting career. “I think it’s a fear of not succeeding,” she says. If anything, she adds, she’s harder on herself now than she’s ever been. “There were distractions before. There’s no distractions now,” she says. “I’m putting pressure on myself for no reason.”
This is where the life coach’s own personal healing comes into play. Mandi says she’s learning recently that “slow progress is still big progress at the end of the day.”
“Currently, I’m trying to find the balance between living life and knowing that whatever is meant for me is going to happen, but also know that I’m doing everything in my power to make those things happen and better myself,” she adds.
Still, one of Mandi’s strengths is that she doesn’t feel the pressure to limit herself to just one passion. From working as a life coach to pursuing acting, she has given herself grace to explore all other dreams.
“We can be allowed to be many different things in this lifetime,” she says. “As people, our identities are allowed to expand. Don’t put us in a fucking box. I cannot live that way anymore.”
For more of Nazanin, follow her on Instagram @nazaninmandi.
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Featured image by Solmaz Saberi
'Raising Kanan''s Hailey Kilgore Talks Seeing Herself In Jukebox & Broadway Background
Hailey Kilgore, who has brought the character Jukebox to life on Power Book III: Raising Kanan for the past three seasons, was working hard in show business long before landing the role on coveted Starz franchise. She's already a Tony- and Grammy-nominated talent whose credits include the Jennifer Hudson-led Aretha Franklin biopic Respect and the Tony-winning revival of Once on This Island.
Hailey may play a teen on the Mekai Curtis-centered series but she's been training in singing, acting, and performance since the tender age of 9—that's 16 years now. If you take a look at her social media profiles, it will almost make you do a double take as her real personality couldn't be further from what's depicted on the show—proving just how talented she really is. The Broadway veteran, who is gearing up to release her first album, is what many would describe a girl's girl wearing loads of sequins, gowns, and serving face!
This will prompt you to dig a little deeper to find out more about the girl who is a multi-hyphenate and earned two major nominations before even making it on the big screen.
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xoNecole caught up Hailey as season 3 came to an end and was surprised to learn that although they may be completely different people, her real life is mirroring what's going on with Jukebox in Raising Kanan. "I really made the epiphany season 3." She continued, "[Jukebox] just wants to be seen. She works so hard, she's a really sweet girl. She has a beautiful spirit and she just wants people to see her—to see how hard she works. I feel that right now. I'm like, please just see me. I know you love Jukebox...but there's a super cool girl in here and she's got a lot to say. A lot to contribute to the world artistically."
She even delved more into her background, telling us about the extensive training and hard work she's put in to get to this point. "I started training when I was 9. I trained in acting, singing, and performance." She further explained, "I did my first job when I was 12, so I've been doing this for awhile. Performing is what I love. I've always said I wanted to be Beyoncé when I grew up...I'm really blessed to have the resume and the background that I do."
The latest season of Power Book III: Raising Kanan has come to a close but in true fashion, Hailey is still hard at work. Her first single "Drama Queen" is out now and her debut album will be released on May 3. It's safe to say that Hailey is having her moment. One can't deny that she's worked hard for it and we can't wait to see what's next!
Watch the full interview below.
Hailey Kilgore AKA Jukebox on 'Raising Kanan' Talks Broadway Background
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