Relationship Expert Dr. Stacii Jae Johnson Shares Tips On Maintaining Healthy Relationships
Dating in the modern world can be tricky, especially if individuals aren't given the proper tools to obtain and maintain a healthy, loving, and satisfying relationship.
With the limited information, many could find themselves either settling for less than they deserve or in a never-ending cycle of bad situationships and relationships. But that's where Dr. Stacii Jae Johnson comes in.
The best-selling author and relationship expert made it her life's mission to help women and couples dominate the relationship realm by asking the right questions and assisting others in figuring out their overall goals when it comes to love.
Dr. Johnson, who has been offering relationship advice for over two decades, has used personal experiences from her dating life to help what she says a "million women and couples create healthy love."
The public speaker's work is so influential that she's been featured in various well-known publications and is hosting the reality TV series OWN's Put a Ring on It.
In addition to Dr. Johnson's profound career, she is extending her services by collaborating with xoNecole, to create weekly 90-second video segments discussing specific topics to help individuals get and sustain healthy love.
Last week, in a video announcing the new collaboration, the 52-year-old opened up about what inspired her to help others find fulfilling relationships.
Dr. Johnson's inspiration behind helping women and couples find and create a well-rounded relationship
In the clip, Dr. Johnson revealed that her late mother prioritized always showing her and her brother "good love" despite the hardships.
"My mother passed away of cancer and going through her fifth divorce when she was 56 years old in 2005. Before she passed, more than anything, she said she wanted to show my brother and I, good love," she explained.
Later in the video, Dr. Johnson shared that her mother's gestures "resonated" with her because, at the time, she didn't fully comprehend how to love healthily because she lacked the tools to do it.
"That just resonated with me because I had zero tools to understand how do you make love work in a healthy way?" she said. "Since then, I've been teaching people how to create, cultivate and keep healthy romantic love."
Dr. Johnson's Tip for Preferences, Deal Breakers, and Nonstarters
Dr. Johnson's first tip was about the standards individuals set early in the relationship while discussing the topics of preferences, deal breakers, and nonstarters.
In the video, Dr. Johnson disclosed why it is essential that many choose their words wisely regarding these topics, especially preferences and nonstarters. The reason behind her explanation is that this stage could set up their potential relationship for failure.
"This week y'all, we're talking about deal breakers and nonstarters. If you find yourself in a relationship, honey, with somebody who you are asking and negotiating your deal breakers and your nonstarters, then shame on you,” she said. “Why are you even in a relationship with somebody like that in the first place?"
She continued, "What you should be negotiating is your preferences. So if you find yourself in a relationship and you are negotiating your nonstarters, y'all, those are nonstarters, get the words, get into it. You see what I'm saying. So then the relationship should have never been, right? But your preferences, that's another thing."
Dr. Johnson wrapped up the clip by saying that if an individual is still negotiating their nonstarters with a partner, their union will be doomed because they were never supposed to be with someone with qualities that fell in the nonstarters category.
For more of Dr. Johnson's work, tune in to OWN's Put a Ring On It Fridays at 9 p.m. ET and catch her weekly videos on xoNecole's social media pages.
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Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Why Do Millennials & Gen-Zers Still Feel Like Teenagers? The Pandemic Might Be The Reason.
There’s nothing quite as humbling as navigating adulthood with no instruction manual. Since the turn of the decade, it seems like everything in our society that could go wrong has, inevitably, gone wrong. From the global pandemic, our crippling student debt problem, the loneliness crisis, layoffs, global warming, recession, and not to mention figuring out what to eat for dinner every night. This constant state of uncertainty has many of us wondering, when are the grown-ups coming to fix all of this?
But the catch is, we are the new grown-ups.
As if it happened without our permission, we became the new adults. We are the members of society who are paying taxes, having children, getting married, and keeping our communities afloat, one iced latte at a time. Still, there’s something about doing all these grown-up duties that feel unnaturally grown-up. Enter the #teenagegirlinher20s.
If there’s one hashtag to give you the state of the next cohort of adults, it’s this one. Of the videos that have garnered over 3.9M views, you’ll find a collection of users who are overwhelmed by life’s pressing existential responsibilities, clung to nostalgia, and reminiscent of the days when their mom and dad took care of their insurance plans.
@charlies444ngel no like i cant explain to her why i had to buy multiple tank air dupes from aritzia #teenagegirlinher20s #fyp
The concept of being a 20-something or 30-something teenager is linked to the sentiment of not feeling “grown up enough” to do grown-up things while feeling underprepared and even nihilistic about whether that preparation even matters.
It’s our generation’s version of when we ask our grandmothers how old they are and they simply reply with, “I still feel 45,” all while being every bit of 76 years old. In this, we share a warped concept of time while clinging to a desire for infantilization.
Granted, the pandemic did a number on our concept of time. Many of us who started the pandemic in our early or mid-20s missed out on three fundamental years of socialization, career development, and personal milestones that traditionally help to mark our growth.
Our time to figure out and plan our next steps through fumbling yet active participation was put on pause indefinitely and then resumed provisionally. This in turn has left many of us hanging in the balance of uncertainty as we try to make sense of the disconnect between our minds and bodies in this missing gap of time.
Because we’re all still figuring out what the ramifications of being locked away and frozen in time by a global pandemic will have on us as a society, there really is no “right” way of making up for lost time. Feeling unprepared for any new chapter of life is a natural rite of passage, pandemic or not. However, it’s important to not stay stuck in the last age or period of life that made sense to us because self-growth is the truest evidence of personal progress.
So whether you’re leaning on your inner child, teenager, or 20-something for guidance as you fill the gap between your real age and pandemic age, know that it’s okay to grieve the person you thought you would be and the milestones you thought you’d hit before you ever knew what a pandemic was. If there’s anything that the pandemic taught us, it’s that we have the power to reimagine a better world and life for ourselves. And if we tap into our inner teenager as a compass, we can piece together our next chapter with a fresh outlook.
Sure, we’ve lost a couple of years, but there are still some really amazing ones ahead.
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