4 Ways I'm Reclaiming My Mind, Body & Spirit
As a woman in her 30s, I feel that my metabolism hates me some days...most days. Merely thinking about licking icing off of a cupcake adds an extra inch to my thighs or butt. On top of that, my schedule has caused me to foster excuses about my poor eating habits. Fast food and caffeine kept me going on days that I worked 16-hour shifts. The other days of the week, I'd say I was too tired to cook. And it was true. I was drained.
I'd become complacent with my habits of running off of four hours of sleep and snacking instead of eating balanced meals. My sleep and eating patterns weren't the best. Quite frankly, neither was my spark for creativity. I felt sluggish and stagnant in multiple areas in my life. Trying to dodge full-length mirrors, I knew that I couldn't escape the reality that I needed to change, and actively change!
I wanted to be healthy both mentally and physically. A lot of times, those two things go hand in hand. Thirty days ago, I decided, "If I can control what goes into my mouth, I can control what comes out of my mouth." It was about what I could control. If I could tame and discipline my flesh to choose healthier food options and actually rest, I could tame the manifestations coming out of my mouth as well. Here's how I reclaimed my discipline:
Planning Meals:
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I started by planning my meals. Yes, we all know that meal prepping works. It helped me to control the number of calories I was consuming and I replaced all drinks with water. Yes, this took some getting used to as caffeine gave me the energy I needed in the mornings and midday. Yet, eventually it got easier. My bank account saw significantly less transactions for fast food purchases too.
Planning Quiet Time:
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As I plan out everything else in my life, I planned out time to pray and simply do nothing. I picked 20 minutes at the beginning of the day and 20 minutes at the end of the day. I give my time to my job, to my family, and to my friends but often I neglected to give myself time for just me.
I deserve to enjoy my own company.
And honestly this resulted in me having to say "no" to many things I was asked. That meant that I chose me before choosing to do things for others that they could do themselves. I had to take off my cape and realize that I didn't have to swoop in and save the day for everyone. They could do it themselves. It was me learning to put a cap on how far I extended myself to others and their access to me.
Planning Exercise:
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OK, I'll confess. Your girl doesn't like to work out. I really don't. One day I thought that I was brave enough to try the 30-Day Calliet Way, but I was way too ambitious. I looked at his meal plan. Check! I could do that. Pre-workout. Check! Full workout...I didn't get that far. The pre-workout felt like the full workout and I thought I was dying a little. Did I mention that I don't like to sweat? While I may have failed doing it the Calliet Way, I did incorporate more walking into my everyday routine. Perhaps in a month or two, I'll have the courage to try his workout plan again. But for now, I am making strides to be more active.
Planning to Exercise my Mind:
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By nature, I'm a creative person. When I'm not being creative, I don't feel my best. In efforts to do just that, I started reading and writing more. This is when I feel as though I am in my zone. Making money is great, but I needed to have an outlet that my jobs don't provide. I needed to start having vision again. I needed to start being optimistic and manifesting good things into my future again.
I learned to speak life and not defeat into my future.
Overall, I know that this will be an ongoing process. Yes, I'm excited by the weight loss, the inches I've shaved off my figure, the clear skin, and the extra hours of sleep, but there have been days when I've found myself wanting to slip back into not my old habits because it would be convenient. In those moments, I had to remind myself of the progress I've made. I'm learning how to have a healthy balance in my life. I'm learning that there is a time to work and there is a time to rest. And I mean really rest, not checking work emails from my phone while in bed.
I've learned that convenience isn't always the best choice. Yes, it's easy to go through the drive-thru, but slowly yet surely, those bad habits attach themselves to you like unwanted pounds. We can all find something to complain about, yet we have even more to be grateful for and can live each new day optimistic.
You are your best investment. Work on your passion and what drives you. You owe it to yourself to not be stagnant. It's an everyday process and choice, but you are capable of being able to tame your mind and your body.
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CB Nicole is a millennial whose passion to live a God-led life has inspired her to use her life lessons and messes to inspire others. Each unpredictable day makes for a new unpredictable journey that she's ready to conquer.
From Heartbreak To Healing: The Multifaceted Journey Of Nazanin Mandi
Nazanin Mandi is never out of options.
About a year ago, the 37-year-old life coach and actress was navigating life after divorce and determined to experience homeownership for the first time as a single woman. She’d been married to the R&B singer Miguel for three years, following a long-term relationship that started when she was 18 years old. But, in 2022, she filed for divorce. It was certainly the most public change she made but, in reality, it was just one of many decisions to refocus and reach her full potential in recent years.
“During my 20s, I was not ready for more. I was living a really crazy life. It was unpredictable. I was helping somebody else grow. It was a lot, and it was intense. I was not pouring into myself the way I should’ve been,” she says in an xoNecole exclusive.
Still, as Mandi worked to get to know herself and her needs during this new phase of life, she realized the home she’d purchased wasn’t a good fit. Overwhelmed by the echoing of her voice in the spacious home, she had a breakdown and called her cousin, who immediately suggested she lease the home and live somewhere else. “I woke up in my house, and I was like, ‘This is not it for me,” she says. “All those years, I had been accustomed to living a certain way [and] in a certain house, so I bought myself a house like [my old home]. But my family was not the same. Waking up in that house by myself, it highlighted the divorce. I was like, ‘Oh, no, we can’t do this. This is not it.’ My life has changed, so my choices need to change.” At that moment, Mandi became open to the idea that there wasn’t one set way to achieve ownership on her own.
“I feel so much better. I’m in a smaller place. My best friend lives a minute from me and I can walk to her house,” she tells me during a Zoom interview from her home one recent afternoon in early February. In the past two years, she hasn’t just been advising other people on varying circumstances, she’s also been healing herself.
"During my 20s, I was not ready for more. I was living a really crazy life. It was unpredictable. I was helping somebody else grow. It was a lot, and it was intense. I was not pouring into myself the way I should’ve been."
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
If supporters began following Nazanin Mandi because of her conventional beauty or the contagious, bright, white smile she often wears in many of her photos, that’s likely not the reason they’ve stuck around. Instead, she’s amassed a following based on her transparency about her own anxiety and depression, along with the encouraging messages of self-acceptance, gratitude, ambition, and humility that are often sprinkled into her social media posts.
In an era where looking at Instagram photos of models can often lead to feelings of self-doubt and insecurity, Nazanin Mandi is determined to be more than eye candy. She’s food for her follower’s souls, too.
Since being recruited to model while dining at an In-N-Out at 10 years old, Mandi has worked in many areas of entertainment. The Valencia, California native has modeled for brands such as Olay, Savage X Fenty, and Good American. As a teen, she sang at Carnegie Hall and auditioned for season 1 of American Idol, making it all the way to Hollywood before producers disqualified her for lying about her age. (Mandi was 15 at the time, and contestants had to be at least 16 years old.) Mandi has acted, too, including appearing on Disney’s That’s So Raven as a teenager and on the BET+ series Games People Play and the Prime series Á La Carte in more recent years.
In recent years, though, she’s also expanded her professional goals outside of entertainment, too. After becoming a certified life coach in 2020, Mandi launched the membership platform You Bloome in 2022 with the hopes of providing wellness services to others, including her self-published gratitude journal. “I wish I had access to something like You Bloome earlier in my own life,” she writes on the company’s website. The actress, who has been forthcoming about her struggles with anxiety and depression, has never had a life coach, but credits therapy as a tool that “really, really saved me and it laid the foundation to who I am becoming.”
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
"I’m trying to find the balance between living life and knowing that whatever is meant for me is going to happen, but also know that I’m doing everything in my power to make those things happen and better myself."
While she’s always had a nurturing personality, Mandi says her interest in becoming a life coach was inspired by the women who would message her for advice on social media. “I would answer them back. It really sparked a fire within myself to help people,” she says.
You Bloome currently has three membership tiers, ranging in price from $2.99 to $39.99 per month. The highest tier offers a motivational text message twice a week, two live, group coaching sessions per month, and more. “We get emotional. We cry. We laugh. It’s really beautiful. I’ve built close relationships with my members through this. It’s been inspiring both ways,” Mandi says of the sessions. Still, the founder says she hopes to take on more motivational and keynote speaking opportunities in the future with the hopes of impacting as many people as possible.
And, she’s hoping to do all of this while continuing to explore a career as an entertainer.
At this point in her life, Mandi says she’s gained enough perspective on modeling, music, and acting to realize what she wants to prioritize moving forward. “We are going full force with acting,” she says, noting her goal is “to book a series regular or a film that impacts my career and the world.” She plans to continue to model, too, but has no desire to pursue music.
“I don’t want any part of that because I know what that life entails,” she says. “I don’t want to tour. I don’t want to do any of that. That is not where my heart is at.”
Credit: Solmaz Saberi
If you ask Mandi, she’ll tell you she feels most comfortable in front of a camera, but she’ll also admit that she’s recently experienced a lot of imposter syndrome when thinking about her acting career. “I think it’s a fear of not succeeding,” she says. If anything, she adds, she’s harder on herself now than she’s ever been. “There were distractions before. There’s no distractions now,” she says. “I’m putting pressure on myself for no reason.”
This is where the life coach’s own personal healing comes into play. Mandi says she’s learning recently that “slow progress is still big progress at the end of the day.”
“Currently, I’m trying to find the balance between living life and knowing that whatever is meant for me is going to happen, but also know that I’m doing everything in my power to make those things happen and better myself,” she adds.
Still, one of Mandi’s strengths is that she doesn’t feel the pressure to limit herself to just one passion. From working as a life coach to pursuing acting, she has given herself grace to explore all other dreams.
“We can be allowed to be many different things in this lifetime,” she says. “As people, our identities are allowed to expand. Don’t put us in a fucking box. I cannot live that way anymore.”
For more of Nazanin, follow her on Instagram @nazaninmandi.
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Featured image by Solmaz Saberi
'Raising Kanan''s Hailey Kilgore Talks Seeing Herself In Jukebox & Broadway Background
Hailey Kilgore, who has brought the character Jukebox to life on Power Book III: Raising Kanan for the past three seasons, was working hard in show business long before landing the role on coveted Starz franchise. She's already a Tony- and Grammy-nominated talent whose credits include the Jennifer Hudson-led Aretha Franklin biopic Respect and the Tony-winning revival of Once on This Island.
Hailey may play a teen on the Mekai Curtis-centered series but she's been training in singing, acting, and performance since the tender age of 9—that's 16 years now. If you take a look at her social media profiles, it will almost make you do a double take as her real personality couldn't be further from what's depicted on the show—proving just how talented she really is. The Broadway veteran, who is gearing up to release her first album, is what many would describe a girl's girl wearing loads of sequins, gowns, and serving face!
This will prompt you to dig a little deeper to find out more about the girl who is a multi-hyphenate and earned two major nominations before even making it on the big screen.
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xoNecole caught up Hailey as season 3 came to an end and was surprised to learn that although they may be completely different people, her real life is mirroring what's going on with Jukebox in Raising Kanan. "I really made the epiphany season 3." She continued, "[Jukebox] just wants to be seen. She works so hard, she's a really sweet girl. She has a beautiful spirit and she just wants people to see her—to see how hard she works. I feel that right now. I'm like, please just see me. I know you love Jukebox...but there's a super cool girl in here and she's got a lot to say. A lot to contribute to the world artistically."
She even delved more into her background, telling us about the extensive training and hard work she's put in to get to this point. "I started training when I was 9. I trained in acting, singing, and performance." She further explained, "I did my first job when I was 12, so I've been doing this for awhile. Performing is what I love. I've always said I wanted to be Beyoncé when I grew up...I'm really blessed to have the resume and the background that I do."
The latest season of Power Book III: Raising Kanan has come to a close but in true fashion, Hailey is still hard at work. Her first single "Drama Queen" is out now and her debut album will be released on May 3. It's safe to say that Hailey is having her moment. One can't deny that she's worked hard for it and we can't wait to see what's next!
Watch the full interview below.
Hailey Kilgore AKA Jukebox on 'Raising Kanan' Talks Broadway Background
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