Someone once told me that being happy was a choice. Like the English aphorism, "fake it until you make it" the idea of obtaining happiness can be as simple as imitating an optimistic mindset and achieving what you seek. Though this idea has been proven true and beneficial in many situations, it is not the solution for everything and rarely works 100 percent of the time. In fact, sometimes, the only way to be truly be happy, is to first embrace the sadness. Sometimes, giving yourself the permission to fall apart, break down, and cry it out, is all one needs to truly find happiness.
So, to assist you on your quest to contentment and relentless joy, I present to you 20 movies (and limited series) on Netflix that will give you the cathartic release you need. Whether you're looking for a happy cry, angry cry, or sad cry, xoNecole's got you covered with films guaranteed to open the floodgates.
Based off the 2011 memoir, Two Kisses for Maddy: A Memoir of Loss and Love by Matthew Logelin, comes Netflix original film, Fatherhood. Fatherhood tells the story of Matthew Logelin (Kevin Hart), a new father, who struggles raising his daughter, Maddy, after the sudden death of his wife. In the comedy-drama film, watch as Logelin deals with "doubts, fears, and heartache" as he learns to navigate life and fatherhood after his devastating loss. In addition to Hart, the film stars DeWanda Wise, Alfre Woodard, Deborah Ayorinde, Melody Hurd and Anthony Carrigan.
In another biographical piece comes the story of the Lovings. Loving follows interracial couple, Mildred and Richard Loving, as they navigate being in love during the Jim Crow Era. Shortly after marrying in 1958, the Lovings are arrested for the crimes of living as husband and wife. In hopes to avoid jail, the Lovings agree to leave the state of Virginia never to return, again. Nevertheless, after growing tired of living in isolation, the Lovings return to the Virginia to challenge the anti-miscegenation laws, laws that reinforce racial segregation by prohibiting interracial marriage, in the Supreme Court and across the nation. The film stars Joel Edgerton and Ruth Negga.
Get on Up (2014)
Starring the late Chadwick Boseman is 2014 biographical drama, Get on Up. Based on the life of singer James Brown, the film nonlinearly tells of Brown's journey from a childhood riddled with poverty and abandonment, to an adulthood of fame and stardom. Though, the film has comedic moments from time to time—the opening scene comes to mind—the heart of the film comes from moments of reflection, where Brown considers what has been sacrificed for the sake of his dream. Also starring Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer, Nelsan Ellise, Craig Robinson and Dan Akroyd, this is a film that will have you seeing legendary musician James Brown in another light.
When They See Us (2019)
When They See Us is a limited series by award-winning and critically acclaimed director Ava DuVernay, which focuses on a group a teenage boys, coined "The Central Park Five." After a brutal attack on a white woman in Central Park, five teens from Harlem become the targets of a racially influenced allegations when they are falsely accused of rape and violent assault. A biographical story, When They See Us shows the lives of Kevin Richardson, Raymond Santana, Antron McCray, Yusef Salaam, and Korey Wise as they face the racial profiling, discrimination, and inequality of the American justice system and media while on a heavily publicized trial.
Exploring the "intersection of race, justice, and mass incarceration in the United States," is the 2016 documentary film, 13th. Reframing American History, director Ava DuVernay explores how the 13th Amendment, infamously known for freeing those enslaved, led to an epidemic of mass incarceration in the United States. In the 13th amendment, lawmakers created a loophole, which proclaims a form of slavery is acceptable in the legal form of criminal punishment.
Due to this loophole, America's prisoners make up 25 percent of the world's prisoners, despite the American population making up for five percent of the world population. In this heart-wrenching documentary, watch how DuVernay and experts, explore the shortcomings of America's justice system and politicians, while demanding the acknowledgement of racial injustice and the influence of racism in our criminal and legal systems.
American Son (2019)
When their son goes missing, an estranged couple reunite at a police station in hopes to find an answer. Based on the 2018-2019 Broadway play of the same name, American Son, discusses the social issues of discrimination and racial inequality in the legal system. Starring Kerry Washington, Steven Pasquale, Jeremy Jordan, and Eugene Lee, American Son shows the devastation and helplessness one faces when the system one should trust remains untrustworthy.
I Am Not Your Negro (2016)
Inspired by Remember This House, an unfinished manuscript that consists of a collection of letters and notes written by James Baldwin in the 1970s, I Am Not Your Negro explores the fate of a nation Baldwin believes is intertwined with that of a Black man. In James Baldwin's critique of American society, he states, "I can't be a pessimist, because I'm alive...so I'm forced to be an optimist. I am forced to believe we can survive, and we must survive. But the future of the Negro in this country, is precisely as bright or as dark as the future of the country. It is entirely up to the American people..."
Divided into four chapters, the social documentary focuses on the school integration era of the Civil Rights Movement, the depiction of the White gaze in film and its impact on society, social racial division, and the continuous exploitation of Blacks in America.
I Called Him Morgan (2016)
I Called Him Morgan is a documentary on the life and death of jazz trumpeter Lee Morgan. Created over the course of seven years, the documentary is told as Helen Morgan recounts the couple's life and Morgan's triumphant legacy, decades after she has been imprisoned for his murder. This enticing documentary beautifully, captivatingly, and unapologetically tells a story of what happens when an exasperated, possessive lover, an adulterous recovered musician, and a record breaking blizzard collide.
Miss Virginia (2019)
There is no doubt that systematic inequality creates barriers to jobs, healthcare, and education within the Black community. In Miss Virginia, the challenges facing Black America are brought to light when a struggling mother sacrifices everything to ensure her son is given a good education. Based on true a story, Virginia Walden places her son into a private school, as a last resort to losing him against drugs and violence of the street. When tuition proves unreasonable, she creates a movement to change the system that is destroying him and other minorities alike. In an impassioned performance, Emmy Winner Uzo Aduba is Virginia Walden Ford, a single mother who fought for the creation of a scholarship program for at-risk students and won.
"Unplugged for the first time" is Michelle Obama in the 2020 documentary Becoming. Focusing on the former First Lady, Becoming is based on the bestselling and acclaimed memoir of the same name. The documentary highlights footage of Michelle Obama as she travels and works during her time as First Lady. Nevertheless, the film also chooses to focus on Michelle Obama's accomplishments before joining the White House. Returning to her children in South Side of Chicago, the documentary travels through Obama's days in school, her old law firm, early stages of marriage, parenthood, and even marriage counseling.
In this 90-minute film, Michelle Obama invites the audience to explore—with supervision—her accomplishment and life outside of her husband's legacy. After all "so little of who [she is] happened in those eight years, so much of who [she was] happened before."
"What do you see when you look at me? Boy? Artist? Outsider? Should one moment define my life?"
From 1999 book of the same name by Walter Dean Myers, Monster tells about the injustices young, Black men face at the hands of the court and legal system. Once an aspiring artist, Steve Harmon, a 17-year-old, and three others are labelled "monsters" as they stand trial for murder. Arguing to have only been involved in a robbery and not a murder, Harmon must convince the jury that he made the mistake of being look out, while discrediting the claims that he pulled the trigger.
Two Distant Strangers (2020)
It is fascinating, yet terrifying to think that you're most celebrated day, could also be your worst. In this Academy Award-winning live action short film, Two Distant Strangers meet and launch an examination of Black American deaths at the hands of the police. Carter experiences his best day and worst nightmare when he finds himself stuck in a Groundhog Day time loop. In a loop that inevitably ends in death, Carter tries to get home to his dog, after he is repeatedly confronted and harassed by white Officer Merk. In this clever, yet enraging short film, cast Joey Bada$$, Andrew Howard, and Zaria Simone, show the frustrations and helpless Black Americans feel while merely existing in America.
Giving Voice (2020)
From executive producers Viola Davis and John Legend, Giving Voice follows the annual August Wilson Monologue competition, and the high school participants who compete for the opportunity to perform on Broadway. Well-known for creating stories that were "epic in scope, tragic in circumstance, and yet still somehow hopeful," August Wilson leaves behind the legacy of "giving voice" to the voiceless Black community. Now, in hopes of honoring his legacy, young students and actors work alongside coaches and teachers as they speak up and out about their love for theatrical performances and Wilson's life-changing work.
Middle of Nowhere (2012)
Nine years ago, Ava DuVernay released her first acclaimed written and directed film, Middle of Nowhere. Winner of Best Director Award for 2021 Sundance Film Festival, Middle of Nowhere tells the story of nurse, and aspiring doctor, Ruby who devotes her time to visiting her imprisoned husband Derek. When she discovers the legitimacy of her husband imprisonment and deception, Ruby must decide whether to stay in the familiarity of living in the "middle of nowhere" or embrace the uncertainty of navigating the world alone.
In Our Mother's Garden (2021)
"Black women often aren't exposed to the idea that healing is possible."
In her debut film, In Our Mother's Gardens, Shantrelle P. Lewis creates a space for Black women and the lineages who helped shaped them. Celebrating the determination and resiliency of Black women and families, Lewis explores the idea of self-healing, self-importance, and self-care while analyzing the relationship between Black mothers and daughters. Throughout the film, various Black women account impactful stories that show feminist love and familial love, within the African-American community. Often explaining the central issues Black women face today, In Our Mother's Garden inspects the issues Black women face with imposter syndrome, ingrained indoctrinated servitude replacing self-care, and the generational trauma of racism and sexism.
Da 5 Bloods (2020)
For decades, the idea of joining the military has been sold to the American people as one's patriotic duty. From the World War to the Afghan War, the idea of joining the forces has been encouraged amongst all communities alike. Though, within the Black community, joining the armed forces is viewed with more trepidation than patriotism. This is mainly due to the Vietnam War where African-Americans risked their lives for a country—which at the time—openly showed they wouldn't do the same. In Spike Lee's Da 5 Bloods, he explores the imbalanced relationship between Black veterans and the country they fought for. Returning to Vietnam 50 years later, four Black vets attempt to find the body of their fallen brother and the gold they've buried as repayment for fighting "an immoral war."
Come Sunday (2018)
Based on the excommunication of Christian minister Carlton Pearson, is the drama Come Sunday. After the death of a relative, Reverend Pearson (Chiwetel Ejiofor) experiences a moment of introspection which causes him to question his faith. Unable to accept the idea that suffering people who haven't been saved will be damned to Hell, he concludes, that there isn't a Hell at all. After announcing this conclusion within his sermon, his trouble begins when his congregation demands his removal.
Let It Fall: Los Angeles 1982-1992
After the publicized death of George Floyd, the chairman of Black Lives Matter of Greater New York, Hawk Newsome, told an interviewer, "If this country doesn't give us what we want, then we will burn down this system and replace it." This warning came after years of civil protest, demands for change, and government inaction. As if history demands to repeat itself, this same cry for justice can be heard from decades before in the cities of Atlanta and, more recently, Los Angeles. In an in-depth examination of a clamorous time in the city of Los Angeles, Let It Fall: Los Angeles 1982-1992, details a decade of tension that leads to the culmination of citywide violence in 1992. After years of oppressive police aggression, failed justice for Black lives, and continuous neglect from government officials, citizens of Los Angeles show what happens to a city when its people decide to let it fall.
Whose Streets? (2017)
"We're trying to mourn, and you came here with 300 cop cars and riot gear and canine units. This is the same thing that pretty much got us here."
Whose Streets? is a documentary about the killing of Michael Brown and the Ferguson uprising of 2014. Told by activists and leaders, instead of news reporters and government officials, Whose Streets? follows the lives of the men and women who live and breathe the Black Lives Matter Movement. This documentary doesn't only focus on unrest ignited by Brown's killing and verdict, but it also focuses on understanding the people lived it. With a lens that seeks to understand the community, Whose Streets? focuses on the trauma and confusion created by those in Ferguson, Missouri when they officials have given them nowhere to turn. Directed by Sabaah Folayan and Damon Davis, Whose Streets? is a film definitely worth watching.
Ma Rainey's Black Bottom (2020)
Ma Rainey's Black Bottom is a biographical musical drama based on August Wilson's 1982 play of the same name. The story follows influential blues singer, Ma Rainey (Viola Davis), who has been recently contracted, by white producers, to record a record. During her recording session, she collides with an overconfident and overly ambitious trumpeter, Levee Green (Chadwick Boseman) who hopes to gain his own record deal, and the producers who only seem to be "interested in [her] voice." Played stunningly by Viola Davis and the late Chadwick Boseman, Ma Rainey's Black Bottom is a "celebration of three real-life Black artists and legends."
Fruitvale Station (2013)
Les Miserables (2012)
The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind (2019)
See You Yesterday (2019)
Irreplaceable You (2018)
I Will Follow (2010)
Little Boxes (2016)
Roxanne, Roxanne (2017)
Rodney King (2017)
Featured image by Getty Images
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Taysha Robinson is a writer and high school English teacher, based in metro-Atlanta. A self described philomath, you can find her reading books and articles of every genre, attending educational conferences, and hiking wherever the terrain will allow.
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7 Sex-Related Problems That Ruin Sex (And Possibly Your Relationship)
Not too long ago, while in an interview, someone asked me to define one of the main purposes of sex in a long-term relationship: “Probably the most intimate form of communication that we have is sex because it’s an act that connects one’s physical, mental and emotional state to another human being simultaneously — and communication doesn’t get much more profound than that.”
That’s part of the reason why the term “casual sex” irks me to the billionth degree (check out “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex'”); it’s because, even if you think that sex with someone is next-to-nothing, there is so much going on within you (oxytocin highs, if you’re unprotected, fluid bonding, chemical reactions in your brain, etc.) that doesn’t know if someone is “the one” (in your mind) or not. So, in many ways, it acts like they are (check out this YouTube video from a Catholic woman who studies some unexpected ways that sex affects us physically here; sex goes deep, y’all!).
Yeah, sex is so much more than a notion, and that’s why I’m a firm believer that it is such a barometer for long-term relationships overall — because, as I’ve shared before, I once read that, “Good sex in a relationship is 10 percent of the relationship while bad sex in a relationship is 90 percent of the relationship because sex tends to set the tone for what’s happening in the rest of the house.”
And that’s why I think that there are certain sex-related issues that can not only damage your sex life with your partner but could also end up ruining your relationship if you’re not careful (very careful). Let’s get into seven of them now.
1. Being Unaware of Your “Body Clock”Giphy
I can’t tell you how many clients I’ve had who’ve come to me in some serious trouble, in part due to their flailing (or partly nonexistent) sex life. When I ask them if they went to premarital counseling (if you’re engaged, please do; you have a 33 percent greater chance of avoiding divorce when counseling transpires), many say “no” and the ones who say “yes” usually say that it was no more than 3-5 sessions and the topic of sex barely came up (le sigh). Meanwhile, with my premarital meetings, I try and stick with intimacy for three months if I can because there is a lot to unpack, from what you learned as a child, to your first time (or if you are a virgin), to your needs and fantasies, to how you see it from a spiritual perspective — like I said, there is a lot to unpack there.
Take the mere practicality of sex, for example — and more specifically, your body clock. Do you prefer to have sex at night or in the daytime? A lot of couples struggle with intimacy because one prefers the former while the other likes the latter. Do you keep track of when you’re ovulating? It’s pure science why you are probably hornier during that time of the month (because your body is signaling that it’s time to conceive) vs. the fact that you might not be the most interested in sex when you’re PMS’ing. Are you premenopausal? Hormones shift a lot during that time, and here’s the thing — while menopause only lasts a year, the premenopausal stage (which typically starts between 45-55) can last between 7-14 years. Even paying attention to when you have more energy (some do in the day…morning sex, anyone? While others do early in the evening) can play a role.
So yeah, getting to know your body clock (and discussing your partner’s clock with them) can play a role in how much — or how little — sex you have…and that can add life or drain it from the relationship overall.
2. Comparing Your Present with Your PastGiphy
There is a wife of almost 20 years I know who, when I asked her if she thought that her husband was good in bed, she paused for a second, shrugged her shoulders, and simply said, “I was a virgin when I got married, so I have nothing to compare him to. I mean, he’s good to me.” On the flip side, there’s a now divorced couple who I also know (who almost made it to 20 years) who had multiple partners before each other while also having a deep interest in porn who once said to me, “Sometimes, there’s as much as 15 people in our bed because of all of the people from our past and the porn that we’ve seen that’s running through our heads.” Yeah, y’all can act like body counts don’t matter, but there is so much evidence out here that says otherwise — that couple just gave one that doesn’t get talked about as much as it should.
You know, one of my favorite throwback shows is King of Queens (Kevin James, Leah Remini). A few weeks ago, I watched a rerun where Doug and Carrie were talking about the images that come up in their minds, sometimes during sex. Neither was too happy about it, and I can totally see why. I mean, if sex was just about “getting off” (and it’s not), then whatever. However, AGAIN, it’s also about connecting with your partner on a mental and emotional level, and that’s hard to do if you’re there with them in the body while you’re fantasizing about a celebrity, a porn actor (porn is usually acting, don’t let it fool you) or an ex (check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”).
And what if that is what’s going on? I once spoke with a sex therapist about this very thing. What she said is people should be less concerned about celebs (if it’s on occasion) and more concerned about that ex because rarely is sex with an ex…just about the sex.
And that’s why this point made the list. If you’re physically with your partner and mentally or emotionally with your ex at the same time, please don’t ignore that. There are definitely some unresolved issues there that you need to work through, whether it’s with a therapist, counselor, or coach, a trusted friend (who won’t add fuel to the literal fire), or even with your ex — although you might want to run that by your partner first because…I’m pretty sure you’d want him to do that with/for you. RIGHT?
3. Not Being Clear About Your Sexual NeedsGiphy
Question — if someone were to walk up to you right now and ask you what your top seven sexual needs are, along with what your top five sexual dealbreakers are, would you be able to answer? It really is kind of wild how many people get upset with their partner for not being able to sexually satisfy them when even they can’t articulate what they need/require in order for that to happen. Yeah, it’s another article for another time about how many people UNREALISTICALLY (and yes, I am yelling it) think that someone loving them well means that they should be able to read their mind. Nope.
It truly can’t be said enough that sex — especially good sex — is about communication. Hmph. It makes me think about a clip that I saw from Tonight’s Conversation podcast (can’t find it at the moment; sorry) where a woman asked how she should tell her partner that he hasn’t been pleasing her, I believe she said for years. My first thought was if he doesn’t know that, she must be faking orgasms (more on that in a bit) which is not only lying — well, it is —, but it’s also pretty counterproductive because while he thinks that he’s “getting the job done,” she’s not fulfilled and resentment is setting in.
Please don’t let rom-coms (fiction) and social media (which is oftentimes fictitious) have you out here thinking that a good lover is someone you automatically gel with who knows exactly what to do; sometimes that is the case, and oftentimes it isn’t.
So, if the sex-related issue that you’re having in your relationship is that your sexual needs aren’t being met, first do you (and your partner) a favor by doing some sex journaling (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”) so that you can tangibly see what those needs are and then plan time within the next week or so to pour a couple of glasses of wine, put on some 90s R&B and discuss with your partner what you need. Because actually, what a good lover is, is someone who listens and retains. This brings me to the next point.
4. Minimizing Your Partner’s Sexual NeedsGiphy
A husband once told that when he and his wife were in premarital counseling, something that he mentioned was a bona fide need was fellatio. According to him, his wife told both him and their counselor that she loved giving head. Fast forward to eight years of being in their union, and guess how many times that act went down? A measly four. FOUR TIMES (check out “Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?”).
It’s another message for another time, the amount of people who will “false advertise” during the dating stage in order to get to their goal of marriage. It’s also another message for another time how much that is a form of manipulation that tends to backfire in ways that the manipulator is oftentimes not prepared for.
For now, what I will say, is never think that just because something may not be a need for you that it isn’t a legitimate one for someone else. I mean, how would you feel if that’s how someone treated you? Yeah…exactly.
Yet that is just what happens in a lot of relationships, including when it comes to their bedroom. They will think that their needs should be met, hands down, yet when their partner comes with what’s important to them, all of a sudden, there is dismissiveness, nonchalance, and/or excuses — and how could that not rear its ugly head on so many levels?
Your partner’s sexual needs are essential, even if they are not your own. Never assume that you automatically know everything about them. Also, never assume that what worked two years ago is what will “scratch the itch” now. Hmph. Come to think of it, while you’re sipping on that wine and clearly articulating to him what turns you on, use that as an opportunity to ask him to return the favor. Listen with humility, receptiveness, and intent — the best kind of relationships process their partner’s needs with this kind of vibe…across the board.
5. Taking the “If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It” ApproachGiphy
Lazy lovers. When you hear that phrase, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? If it’s someone who is just lying there during sex, that would certainly qualify; however, I’m actually speaking of a different kind of laziness here. Believe it or not, some synonyms for lazy include words like apathetic, inattentive, tired, passive (cough, cough), procrastinating, neglectful, and slacking. So yeah, if you and/or your partner can use any of these words to define what sex is consistently like between the two of you — red flag, red flag…RED FREAKIN’ FLAG.
Speaking of being passive, another potentially serious sex-related problem is taking on the attitude that if something ain’t broke, you shouldn’t fix it. What I mean by that is, just because you know that getting on top and riding for exactly six-and-a-half minutes is what will get your partner off, that doesn’t mean that it should be your automatic go-to all of the damn time.
Why? Because. While a part of the fun of having sex is “reaching the peak,” another component that should never be underestimated is discovering new territory: trying new positions, creating a sex bucket list, taking (more) sexcations, playing sex-themed board games (put that phrase in Amazon or on Etsy’s site and go ham!)…you know, doing what will inspire creativity and deter either of you from becoming bored.
That said, a husband of 17 years once told me, “A man can be satisfied with the same woman. We just don’t want the same kind of sex with her.” Words to live by. Yes, indeed.
6. Using Sex as a Deflection or Coping MechanismGiphy
A few years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Make-Up Sex Might Be Doing Your Relationship More Harm Than Good” — and with good cause. Words cannot express how many divorced (or soon-to-be divorced) women have told me that a part of what kept them in their marriage, for as long as they stayed in it, was the fact that the sex with their husband was beyond amazing…even though so much other stuff completely and totally sucked. Hey, good sex isn’t a bad thing (c’mon now); however, if it’s the only real thing that’s keeping you with someone, it can turn out to be a toxic deflector.
The reason why I say that is the purpose of sex isn’t to make love; it’s to celebrate it. And if all you’re doing with your partner is f — king and fighting or avoiding issues by stripping down or thinking that sex will “make it all better,” all the while not really knowing what the problem/issue is or what needs to be done to get down to the root of it, that is using sex as a pacifier and again, that’s not what sex is designed to be. Sex doesn’t deserve the pressure of being the end-all to “fixing” ish.
So, if what’s transpiring in your relationship lately is very little talking and a whole lot of sexing, and then once the sex is over, something still feels “off,” that’s a good indication that you’re misusing sex on some level. Get out of the bed, put on a robe, and do some talking (preferably in a room other than the bedroom; leave that space for sex and sleep only as much as possible). Because remember — as much as the wives that I mentioned said that their husbands once had them climbing the walls, those men are still ex-husbands now. Bottom line, sex is good, yet when it comes to keeping a relationship together, it will never be enough. Again, it was never designed to be.
7. Faking ItGiphy
I will never be a fan of faking orgasms. Maybe it’s because I’m a Gemini (we may be a lot of things, but “fake” isn’t really our style). Maybe it’s because I’m a very word-literal individual, and I know that fake means things like “prepare or make (something specious, deceptive, or fraudulent)” and “to conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc., usually in order to deceive.” Or perhaps it’s because I don’t get how acting like you’re sexually fulfilled when you actually aren’t is doing anyone any good. Whatever it is, whenever a client (or someone in general because men fakealmost as much as women do) tells me that it’s something they do, I immediately find myself on a mission to shut that mess down (check out “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP”). ALL THE WAY DOWN.
The main reason is that, regardless of if the motive is to hurry things along, not hurt your partner’s feelings, or it’s something more cryptic than that (cough, cough, some form of manipulation tactic), there’s no way around the fact that fakeness is tied to deception and deception is a word that should never be connected to a healthy sexual dynamic.
Besides, one could argue that faking is a form of deflection as well because…wouldn’t it be better to just get it all out in the open WHY you are doing it than to keep pretending when life is too short and great sex is too good to not get the absolute most out of it, as much as possible?
Besides, again, chances are that if you’re faking that you’re sexually pleased, you’re probably faking something else in your relationship (or situation), and how could that possibly be good, right, or beneficial?
Yeah, when it comes to being satisfied across the board, please don’t fake it. State your case in the way that you’d like to hear something said to you, and let the chips fall where they may. If you’ve got a good man, he’s gonna — no pun — rise to the occasion. If his ego can’t handle it, well…that’s something that you should find out sooner than later — when it comes to the bedroom and outside of it? Right? #shoyouright
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