10 Questions To Ask Your Friends Before You Travel Together
'Tis the season for girls' trips, retreats, and summer vacations. However, some of us have learned an unfortunate and hard truth (and vice versa) -- you can't travel with everybody. Just because they're a good friend doesn't mean they'll be a good travel companion.
Through some of my adventures and experiences, I've learned that it's not a matter of who's right or wrong; rather, it's a matter of preference. As with most anything in life, people like what they like and they enjoy what they enjoy. However, a lot of conflicts or disagreements that surface during trips can easily be prevented or resolved beforehand by having an open and honest discussion.
So, before you book your next trip, use these questions as a guide to help you decide who will be your travel buddy.
1.Do you prefer an airplane, train ride, road trip, or cruise?
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The answer to this question will directly impact the type of trip that you'll plan. For example, as much as I love to travel and fly, I have no desire, whatsoever, to go on a cruise. I would rather fly and go as I please, instead of boarding a ship and spending the majority of my time on it. Hence, it's no surprise that when some of my friends plan their cruises, I am not invited…nor am I offended because that's not my preference.
2.What types of things do you like to do when you go on vacation?
This can vary depending on the trip (e.g., vacation, retreat, girls' trip, couple's trip, etc.). There are people who like to do as much as possible while vacationing, and there are others who like to use that time to stay in or relax no matter where they are. Then, there are those who enjoy a mixture – rest one day, explore another day, party another day. When traveling with other people, it's best to know upfront so you can plan the itinerary accordingly.
3.Do you prefer to stay at an Airbnb, a hotel, or a resort?
Additionally, you may need to ask: Inclusive or non-inclusive? Room service or self-serve? How many people are you willing to share a room or a space with?
Some people only need enough space to rest their head at night whether that's a bed, a couch, or even a roll-out bed. So, for them, it doesn't matter as much where they'll stay. On the other hand, people like me, who can be a bit of a "hotel or location snob," will research thoroughly online before booking a place to stay.
Keep in mind the budget and the destination can impact your choice, and knowing it upfront can help narrow your search.
4.Do you have a passport?
If you're planning to travel internationally, but you or your travel buddies don't have a passport, then you'll need to allow enough time to order one.
5.How long is too long to be on a trip?
This can vary depending on: 1) the type of lodging that's chosen, 2) the total number of people, 3) as well as the people you decide to travel with. For some people, two to three days may be more than enough time to spend with a certain group of people, while five to seven days could be just enough before your patience starts to run out.
6.What is your budget for the trip – before and during the trip?
Although this shouldn't be considered as an opportunity to meddle and find out how much money someone makes, it is important to determine if everyone has budgeted adequately for the trip. Make sure they've allotted enough for lodging, food/beverages (if non-inclusive), as well as possible extracurricular activities (e.g., shopping, excursions, tours, parties, etc.). While you may be willing to pay extra for a once-in-a-lifetime adventure or an excursion, someone else may be more interested in splurging on a spa day.
7.If flying, what airline do you prefer?
Depending on everyone's home base and their departure location, you may not have as much flexibility when it comes to choosing a specific airline. Nevertheless, understand that some people won't mind choosing a cheaper airline for a shorter flight. Then, there are certain people who will pay more for their airfare to allow for more leg space, priority boarding, on-flight entertainment, Wi-Fi, or better snacks.
8.Planned itinerary or just wing it?
There are people who like to plan for everything, and there are those who prefer to play it by ear. Depending on the size of the group and everyone's preferences, a formalized agenda may make the most sense.
I remember when I created this elaborate agenda during a bachelorette trip to Vegas for at least 14 ladies. Although I may have included one too many activities and everyone was worn out by the end of it, the good thing about it was that the agenda helped keep us on track and on time, and everyone ended up doing a lot of things they had never done before.
9.Do you prefer to use rideshare, local transportation, or rent a car?
Depending on the destination, you'll need to determine if it makes sense to rent a car, or if certain rideshare services will even be available. If you decide to rent a car or use a ridesharing service, find out if the group is willing to pitch in and help, or if you'll need to consider another option to cover the expenses.
10.Is there anything that is completely off limits or anything that you absolutely must do while you’re on the trip?
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When someone ends up unhappy on a group trip, it's likely because they didn't get to do the one thing they wanted to do. Conversely, it could've been that they were forced to do something they never wanted to do in the first place.
So, when traveling with other people, it's important to be mindful of their desires and interests…not just yours. Of course, you can't please everyone, but by prioritizing what's most important, you can accommodate and adjust the itinerary accordingly especially if you're on a limited schedule.
For your next trip, I want #PositiveVibesOnly and positive energy for you and whoever you decide to travel with. So, depending on the outcome of the discussion, you may have to: 1) find a happy medium or a resolution that will cater to most of the group, 2) be willing to split up and do things in separate groups, or 3) exclude certain people from the trip.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Here's Why Barbados Should Be Your Next Girls Trip
10 Places To Take A Girls Trip This Summer
Why Glamping Should Be Your Next Girls Trip
5 "Friends" Who Need to Be Excluded From Your Next Girls Trip
Featured image by Getty Images
Originally published on July 16, 2019
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Shonda Brown White is a bestselling author, blogger, life coach, and brand strategist. When she's not jumping out of a plane or zip lining, she's living the married life with her husband in Atlanta, GA. Connect with her on social @ShondaBWhite and her empowering real talk on her blog.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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This Entrepreneur Is Living Proof That Investing In Yourself Helps Shape The Life You Desire
When Jillian Smith turned 30 years old, she did what many of us do – started wondering about what the next chapter of her life would be like. She was spending her days working in the corporate world and her evenings planning events for friends and family. And by most standards, doing pretty well. But still, she yearned for more; she desired to start her own business. So, after a lot of hard work and thought, she launched OneTouch Events– all by herself.
Fast forward to today, she’s a newlywed, known for her “pretty conferences,” and works with a group of trusted contractors. Her clients range from thought leaders to speakers, business coaches, and more. OneTouch also hosts celebrations of love, like weddings and baby showers, general events, and more. Actually, they just secured their first national brand, Whataburger, where they helped the fast food chain celebrate their 1000th location at a congratulatory event in Atlanta, Georgia.
It all seems so simple, right? But my thoughts on stories like this are always, how? It’s like, okay, that sounds cool, but– how did you keep paying your bills in the beginning? Or friends and family are one thing, but when did you start finding consistent clients? Well, in this conversation with xoNecole, Jillian broke down the importance of investing in yourself, financial literacy, and how having a clear vision for your life helped her tangibly turn her goals into a reality.
Can you share some of the experience you gained from previously working in corporate America? What did you take with you to OneTouch Events?
I previously worked for Accenture, a Fortune 500 consulting firm, and it’s where I learned people and process management, organizational structure, and business methodology. It was very rigorous and fast-paced, and I was often the only Black person or woman in the room.
But I brought all of my experiences to OneTouch. It’s a boutique firm, but we run it like a Fortune 500 company. For example, before I advertised anything, I had all of our systems built. We had two websites and a clear methodology. From my entry-level roles to manager level, I took a lot of those skills with me.
Jillian Smith
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Congrats on the current success of the business, but can you talk to me about the financial struggles you endured starting the process? Let’s take it from the top.
I experienced all the things that no one tells you about running a business. First, I created it while still working at Home Depot corporate. When I made that first leap, I didn’t understand cash flow. I just didn’t know what it took to continue running my business, paying bills, and how to structure contracts and invoices. My first financial blow was in that first couple of years. I mean, I had to actually use my 401k to keep my lights on.
There’s a notion that says, "You have to spend money to make money,” but I learned you have to invest to make money.” And that’s when things changed for me – I paid for a business coach. They taught me how to structure contracts, payments, and etc. There's a lot of free knowledge online, but sometimes those avenues don’t actually teach practicality and what you’ll need to work through. I knew the main elements because of my knowledge base, but I still needed to be educated by someone who understood the industry.
There’s a notion that says, "You have to spend money to make money,” but I learned you have to invest to make money.” And that’s when things changed for me.
What is the best and worst business advice you’ve ever received?
The worst is that you should pay attention to your competition. The reason I say that is because I work better with blinders on. I believe when you pay attention to others, you start to pigeonhole yourself. Our competition is us.
The best piece of advice is to take time to be grateful. Gratefulness has been lost in business and life. Success, business, and life isn’t promised. There are so many people that pour into us and we just have to be grateful for them.
Do you have any money mantras you practice or hold to?
On the productivity side, I’d have to say my “Money Mornings,” which is all about being first. If we’re the first to respond, the first on the books, the first consultation – usually we’ll be there first to the table. Don’t be afraid to start early.
When it comes to affirmations, I’m more biblically based, so everything that I do is just “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not toward your own understanding.” Also, “And in all your ways acknowledge Him because he will direct your path.” So I trust that He will lay it out and everything will be taken care of.
Yes, I love that. Earlier, you mentioned a bit on investing; I’d like to dig into that. What does it look like for you, professionally and personally?
I’ve always looked at life transactionally. Because of that, I invested a lot in the business – I always wanted us to have updated technology and practices. I mean, I invested in a brand designer, business manager, and bookkeeper. My website isn’t just pretty, it brings in a strong ROI (return on investment).
But personally, I actively invest in self-care. It’s something we put on the back burner until you start feeling it in your body. High blood pressure, strokes, and heart attacks are real things. The event planning industry is one of the top 5 most stressful fields. It took me a while to understand the importance of self-care. But now I know you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. My gym membership and health is very important.
Would you consider yourself a saver or a spender?
I am a saver. I actually need to spend more on myself. I’m very conservative when it comes to my finances.
I feel like you are in the minority with that answer. Have you always been good with money?
Actually, yes, I just turned 43, and I can remember being in high school wanting a pager, and my parents told me they weren’t paying for it. I literally got a job and bought my own. So, I’ve kinda always been like that for as long as I can remember, very goal-oriented.
Jillian Smith
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Do you have any budgeting tips for us then?
Most of us come out of college with a lot of credit card debt. So, the first recommendation is to get comfortable with how you spend and your balances. I have a spreadsheet with each card with line items and percentage rates, and I just started paying the highest down. But I also saved at the same time. If you’re new to saving, starting with a high-yield online account helps, too. Just start small. It could be $50 to auto-transfer every month, and it’ll grow it over time.
If you’re new to saving, starting with a high-yield online account helps, too. Just start small. It could be $50 to auto-transfer every month, and it’ll grow it over time.
Out of curiosity, what’s your go-to splurge?
I love a spa. But not like the basic ones. Like, I’m going to the Four Seasons. And also, I don’t really cook a lot, so yes - I’ll eat out. I’m on Zoom like all day, every day, taking meetings, so those are my necessary splurges.
And have you reached your goal? If not, what’s next?
I’m insatiable with my goals, so no – they just keep growing. But a long-term one is to open up my own event facility, that’s in a nice area in the city. I want to be able to compete with some of the bigwigs in Atlanta.
It’s giving luxury. Finally, can you break down how you define wealth?
I’d define wealth as finance and fulfillment. In finance, it means OneTouch Events can invest in our people, our bills are paid, and we have a surplus. Like for example, last summer, I just gave the team a week off to just decompress for no reason, and we had team outings.
Personally, being wealthy is being comfortable in my skin. Last year I spent so much time with my family because I didn’t feel the need to work 24/7, like I envisioned. Wealth and fulfillment is being able to live a well-rounded life.
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