Ready To “Prep” Your Vagina For The Fall & Winter Seasons?
I don't know about y'all, but autumn is my absolute favorite time of the year. As I was thinking about all of the things that I adore about it, I reminded myself that it's now time to get my va-jay-jay ready for cooler weather. What? Is there a light chuckle coming out of you as you stare at your monitor like I've completely lost my mind? While it might seem that way at first, you might be surprised how "winterizing your vagina" can actually do wonders for your overall health and well-being.
So, take a moment out of your crazy day to check out some of the things that I do to get my vagina in gear for fall and winter. Things that makes even "her" happy that this time of year has finally arrived—and can actually do wonders for your own if you're open to giving these tips a shot.
1. Up Your Probiotics
Yeeeeeah. Let's not act like October 31 (Halloween) through January 1 (New Year's Day) doesn't officially mark the time when a lot of us tend to consume more sweets than we do the rest of the year. When there's too much sugar in our bodies, that can actually trigger something that absolutely none of us want—a yeast infection. If you've ever wondered how in the world that happens, it's because, when sugar gets to a point of compromising our immune system, that can make it difficult for our immunity to prevent the overproduction of yeast within our body.
Something that can help to keep the good bacteria thriving in our system (so that sugar doesn't overtake our system) is upping our probiotic intake. First, try and get into the habit of taking a probiotic supplement that has somewhere around 10 billion colony-forming units (you can check out a list of 2020's best probiotics for women here). Also, it definitely can't hurt to consume foods that contain probiotics too. Some of those include fermented foods like pickles, kefir, miso, kombucha, Gouda and cheddar cheese and even beer.
2. Drink Some Hot Apple Cider
I don't know about y'all, but to me, a signature drink for fall (and winter) is hot apple cider. If you've ever wondered what the difference is between it and regular ole' apple juice, the long/short of it is apple juice goes through a filtration process that hot apple cider does not. Anyway, if you happen to be someone who knows that your estrogen levels are naturally low, that could throw your pH balance off which could also trigger a yeast infection. Drinking cider (or juice or eating apples) can help to keep your estrogen levels at a good place because apples contain phytoestrogens which are basically a plant compound that mimics how estrogen affects your body. (By the way, some other foods that contain phytoestrogens include pomegranates, garlic, carrots, potatoes, cherries, dried beans and even coffee.)
3. Watch the Alcohol Intake
Listen, I'm all for y'all turning up with a glass or a bottle from time to time. But balance is key. If you decide to use the fall and winter seasons to turn into a lush in these streets, it could end up wreaking havoc on your vagina and your sex life. The reason why is because too much alcohol consumption can actually lead to vaginal dryness as well as fatigue. So, anything more than a cup or two of mulled wine or glass of spiked eggnog a day might be pushing it. Either drink two glasses of water per serving of the booze or go without more than you initially planned to this year. Your va-jay-jay and libido will be thankful.
4. Keep Some Olive Oil in Tow
Here's something that you might've noticed but not given a ton of thought to. It's actually pretty common that your vagina can end up feeling dryer during the colder months of the year. The reason why is because things like too much alcohol, taking cold/flu medication or sleeping without a humidifier on in your bedroom (more on that in a bit) can all contribute to your vagina not getting the moisture that it needs. Something that can counter all of this is rubbing your vulva down with a little bit of olive oil.
Not only does it serve as a great moisturizer and natural lubricant (so long as you don't accompany it with condoms; oil oftentimes breaks condoms down), olive oil contains loads of antioxidants, a respectable amount of Vitamin E, and anti-inflammatory properties that can help to soothe any minor irritation that your vagina may be experiencing at any given time. Just make sure that you use extra virgin olive oil because, the purer the oil is, the better it will be for your sensitive genital region.
5. Grow Out Your Pubes
Personally, I see my vagina as being a big girl like the rest of me, so I prefer to have some hair on "her". The couple of times when I tried going totally bare, I felt like I was in elementary school again. But, as with most things in life, to each their own, right? Earlier this year, I wrote a piece for the platform on how even pubic hair has trends (you can check it out here) and yes, even when it comes to our pubes, there are all kinds of routes that you can take. However, since pubic hair does help to cushion the friction caused by penetration, it reduces the risk of getting an STD (because the hair can help to keep tiny nicks from occurring that could lead to transmission of infected bodily fluids), it helps to keep debris from actually getting into your vagina and, as an extra bonus, it helps to keep "her" warmer—if you're someone who goes bald or even has a little strip, why not grow it out, just a little bit more, this fall season? You might be surprised by how much you like it and how much more comfy you will feel if you do.
6. Get Some Wool Underwear
OK, so here's something that I bet you never contemplated before. While it's great to wear cotton (preferably organic cotton) panties so that your va-jay-jay can breathe if you want to keep her extra warm, get yourself a few wool ones. I know, it might sound crazy but the reality is that wool is a fabric that doesn't hold onto moisture which means that they are actually better at keeping your vagina from trapping in too much moisture which could lead to infections up the road. As a bonus, it doesn't hold on to odor either.
Who knew, chile? By the way, if you want to treat yourself to some wool drawers, Ice Breaker and Woolx are two sites that sell them.
7. Purchase a Lubricant Warmer
How cute is this? If you're someone who's getting more and more into using lubrication during sex, first, check out "If You've Always Wanted A 'Lubricant Cheat Sheet,' Here Ya Go". Then, do yourself a big favor and pick up a lubricant warmer. Love My Pulse is a company that actually sells massage oils, condom-friendly lubricants and yep, a lubricant dispenser that warms up your oils and lubes. I won't lie, it ain't cheap ($199). But again, if you are a fan of lubricant, I don't see how this couldn't be the kind of gift that just keeps on giving. Straight up.
8. Cop a Sex Toy Warmer Too
While you're out here shopping for your vagina, if sex toys are totally your thing, why not get yourself a sex toy warmer as well? Experience Warm is a company that offers a sex toy warmer (that looks a lot like a wallet) that will warm up, pretty much any sex toy you've got, in 15-20 minutes. This one will run you around a hundred bucks, but if you're sick of using your hands to make your favorite toy of choice feel even a little bit like room temperature, this could be the perfect solution.
9. Sleep with a Humidifier
Dry air is a major issue in the fall and winter season, in part, because we tend to rely more on the warm air that flows out of our HVAC units. But when that dry air doesn't have any moisture in it, not only can that increase the air pollution in your house, it can also make you more susceptible to colds, cause your sinuses to clog up, and definitely dry out your hair, skin, scalp and yes, your vagina. You can combat this by putting a humidifier in your bedroom. It's one of the best ways to give your skin (and genitalia) the moisture that it needs while promoting a better quality of sleep in the process.
10. Invest in Some Flannel Sheets
I don't care what time of year it is, you should make it your ambition to sleep in the nude. One of the benefits mentioned in our article, "Yes, Sleeping Naked Could Help Your Anxiety & Sleep Pattern" is it's another way to reduce your chances of getting a yeast infection because your vagina is able to breathe (and not accumulate excess moisture) throughout the night. Sleeping naked can also help your body to regulate your hormones and metabolism while increasing your melatonin levels, so that you're able to sleep more soundly. If you're hesitant to do this during the fall and winter because it's colder and you don't want to turn up your electronic thermostat to the point where you'll be dead ass broke come March, get yourself some flannel bedding or some jersey knit ones. Both are warm, mad comfortable and make sleeping naked a pleasure from now until the spring season arrives. You'll love 'em, your vagina will love 'em and it'll be all good—no matter how cold it gets. It's one of the absolute best ways to winterize your vagina. Trust. Me. #wink
Featured image by Shutterstock
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
The Reality Of Living With Severe Asthma – As Told by 2 Women On Their Disease Journey
This post is in partnership with Amgen.
The seemingly simple task of taking a breath is something most of us don’t think twice about. But for people who live with severe asthma, breathing does not always come easily. Asthma, a chronic respiratory condition that inflames and narrows the airways in the lungs, affects millions of people worldwide – 5-10% of which live with severe asthma. Severe asthma is a chronic and lifelong condition that is unpredictable and can be difficult to manage. Though often invisible to the rest of the world, severe asthma is a not-so-silent companion for those who live with it, often interrupting schedules and impacting day-to-day life.
Among the many individuals who battle severe asthma, Black women face a unique set of challenges. It's not uncommon for us to go years without a proper diagnosis, and finding the right treatment often requires some trial and error. Thankfully, all hope is not lost for those who may be fighting to get their severe asthma under control. We spoke with Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq. and Jania Watson, two inspiring Black women who have been living with severe asthma and have found strength, resilience, and a sense of purpose in their journeys.
Juanita Brown Ingram, Esq.
Juanita Ingram has a resume that would make anyone’s jaw drop. On top of being recently crowned Mrs. Universe, she’s also an accomplished attorney, filmmaker, and philanthropist. From the outside, it seems there’s nothing this talented woman won’t try, and likely succeed at. In her everyday life, however, Juanita exercises a lot more caution. From a young age, Juanita has struggled with severe asthma. Her symptoms were always exacerbated by common illnesses like a cold or flu. “I've heard these stories of my breathing struggles, but I remember distinctly when I was younger not being able to breathe every time I got a virus,” says Ingram. “I remember missing a lot of school and crying a lot because asthma is painful. I [was taken] to see my doctor often if I got sick with anything so I was hypervigilant as a child, and I still am.”
Today, Juanita says her symptoms are best managed when she’s working closely with her care team, avoiding getting sick and staying ahead of any symptoms. Ingram said she’s been blessed with skilled doctors who are just as vigilant of her symptoms as she is. While competing in the Mrs. Universe competition, Juanita took extra care to stay clear of other competitors to ensure she didn’t catch a cold or virus that would trigger her severe asthma. “I would stand off to the side and sometimes that could be taken as ‘oh, she thinks she's better than everybody else.’ But if I get sick during a pageant, I'm done. I had to compete with that in mind because my sickness doesn't look like everybody else's sickness.”
Even when her symptoms are under control, living with severe asthma still presents challenges. Juanita relies on her strong support system to overcome the hurdles caused by a lack of understanding from the public, “I think that there's a lot of lack of awareness about how serious severe asthma is. I would [also] tell women to advocate and to trust their intuition and not to allow someone to dismiss what you're experiencing.”
Jania Watson
Jania, a content creator from Atlanta, Georgia, has been living with severe asthma for many years. Thanks to early testing by asthma specialists, Jania was diagnosed with severe asthma as a child after experiencing frequent flare-ups and challenges in her day-to-day life. “I specifically remember, I was starting school, and we were moving into a new house. One of the triggers for me and my younger sister at the time were certain types of carpets. We had just moved into this new house and within weeks of us being there, my parents literally had to pay for all new carpet in the house.”
As Jania grew older, she was suffering from fewer flare-ups and thought her asthma was well under control. However, a trip back to her doctor during high school revealed that her severe asthma was affecting her more than she realized. “That was the first time in a long time I had to do a breathing test,” she describes. “The doctor had me take a deep breath in and blow into a machine to test my breathing. They told me to blow as hard as I could. And I was doing it. I was giving everything I got. [My dad and the doctor] were looking at me like ‘girl, stop playing.’ And at that point [it confirmed] I still have severe asthma because I've given it all I got. It doesn't really go away, but I just learned how to help manage it better.”
Jania recognizes that people who aren’t living with asthma, may not understand the disease and mistake it for something less serious. Or there could be others who think their symptoms are minor, and not worth bringing up. So, for Jania, communicating with others about her diagnosis is key. “Having severe asthma [flare-ups] in some cases looks very similar to being out of shape,” she said. “But this is a chronic illness that I was born with. This is just something that I live with that I've been dealing with. And I think it's important for people to know because that determines the next steps. [They might ask] ‘Do you need a bottle of water, or do you need an inhaler? Do you need to take a break, or do we need to take you to the hospital?’ So, I think letting the people around you know what's going on, just in case anything were to happen plays a lot into it as well.”
Like Juanita, Jania’s journey has been marked by ups and downs, but she remains an unwavering advocate for asthma awareness and support within the Black community. She hopes that her story can be an inspiration to other women with asthma who may not yet have their symptoms under control. “There's still life to be lived outside of having severe asthma. It is always going to be there, but it's not meant to stop you from living your life. That’s why learning how to manage it and also having that support system around you, is so important.”
By sharing their journeys, Juanita and Jania hope to encourage others to embrace their conditions, obtain a proper management plan from a doctor or asthma specialist like a pulmonologist or allergist, and contribute to the improvement of asthma awareness and support, not only within the Black community, but for all individuals living with severe asthma.
Read more stories from others like Juanita and Jania on Amgen.com, or visit Uncontrolled Asthma In Black Women | BREAK THE CYCLE to find support and resources.
Before You Quit Dating Altogether: Have You Ever Tried 'Vision Board Dating' Before?
Once upon a time, while I was on the internet looking for ways to inspire some of my couple clients to keep things both stimulating and exciting in their relationship, I stumbled upon an article on vision boards for couples. After reading through it, I found it to be so fresh and fun that I recommended it to a few people; it seemed to work like a charm.
Then, as I reflected on the countless amount of Instagram and TikTok posts that I’ve seen from single women who basically say that dating is trash and they are starting to lose all hope, I thought about what would happen if they decided to put a twist on the whole couples vision board thing and started vision board dating instead.
And just how in the heck do you “vision board date”? I’m so happy that you would ask. The method to the madness is this: since it’s been reported that a little over 80 percent of small business owners who create vision boards are able to achieve at least half of their own goals, and a little over 75 percent of those same business owners say that vision boards have helped them get to exactly where they envisioned — who says that the same practice can’t bring similar results to one’s dating life? Your dating life?
So, if you’re teetering on becoming hella cynical and not going on any dates in the foreseeable future, humor me and at least read through this first. It could be the “map” that ultimately gets you to where you want to go — as far as dating is concerned.
What Is a Vision Board?
Vision boards are proof that manifesting isn't passive, it's quite active.
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Okay, I’m not starting from this place to come off as patronizing or condescending; meaning, I get that most of you probably know what a vision board is. However, I do think that I should cover the bases, just so that we’re all on the same page about what you can expect from making one for yourself — because contrary to popular belief, there’s no so-called magic in it. Vision boards are all about manifestation, yes — but honestly, manifestation isn’t exactly “magical” either.
Vision boards aren’t based on that passive kind of manifesting that I’ve heard far too many people speak on — you know what I mean, “I’m not going to actively date anymore. I’m going to sit in my bedroom and ‘manifest’ a husband.” Chile, manifesting isn’t passive; it’s quite active. The word speaks to “perceiving something (or one) with a clarity of understanding” and then “proving beyond a shadow of a doubt” that what you saw was indeed the truth. Some synonyms for "manifesting" include "bold," "demonstrate," "reveal," "unmistakable," and "materialize."
So, when it comes to vision boards, they are a tangible tool that helps you do all of the things that I just said. You literally get a collection of images and/or objects together and arrange them in such a way that you are able to better focus on what it is that you want to, well, manifest. The things on your vision board help you to get clarity on what you want and then help you to put a plan into motion, so that you can prove, mostly to yourself, that what you desire is indeed possible.
Traditionally, vision boards are made by clipping out pictures or words and putting them on something like a corkboard or foam board; however, thanks to technology, you can also create a digital vision board, whether it’s through something like Canva (here) or an app (here).
If you want to learn more about how to create a vision board from scratch, check out our article, “Here's How To Take Your Vision Board To The Next Level.”
How Can You Apply Vision Boards to Your Dating Journey?
Before you get started with your vision board dating, ask yourself the important questions.
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Okay, so now that we’ve gotten vision boards, in general, out of the way, how can you apply the overall concept to your dating life? Well, in order to get started, here are some questions that you should ask yourself:
- What kind of man would you like to date?
- What types of things do you enjoy doing?
- What things would you like you and him to have in common?
- What is an ideal first date to you?
- What’s your idea of a dream date?
- What dates speak to your love language?
- Where are some places that you’ve always wanted to go?
- What are both your short as well as your long-term goals when it comes to dating?
- What are some words that you want to apply to your overall dating experience?
- What would you like to learn about yourself from dating during this season of your life?
Now, based on those 10 things/themes, find words, pictures, quotes, poetry — anything that you can either tack onto a physical board or you can copy and paste onto your digital vision board. Then, commit to spending 30 minutes a week looking at the board, adding to the board, and/or meditating on the board.
Why should meditation become a part of the process? It’s because there is scientific research that supports the fact that consistent and long-term meditation can literally “rewire your brain” by creating new neural connections. As a result, you will be able to reduce your stress levels, release negativity, and bring a greater sense of gratitude into your space.
Something else that meditation is able to do is help you to get rid of any self-doubt that you may have — and all of this can definitely help, greatly when it comes to improving your dating life.
Five Strong Benefits of Vision Board Dating
Vision board dating comes with its fair share of benefits.
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Aight, so even though I think that some surefire benefits of vision board dating have already been provided, I do want to touch on a few more points before you click off of here and create a dating vision board of your own (because that’s exactly what you’re gonna do…right?).
Some other reasons why you should vision board date as soon as possible?
1. Vision board dating can tame your “negativity bias.” It’s something we all have; it’s a natural inclination to see the negative side of things instead of the positive. This is something to take seriously because just like negativity can kill a relationship, it can also hinder you from getting one in the first place. For one thing, there’s research that says negativity can create anxiety levels; that can make it difficult to effectively communicate with others — and without communication, there is no real connection.
2. Vision board dating fuels your imagination. Albert Einstein once said, "Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions." You know, imagining things doesn’t get the full respect that it truly deserves. Research backs that it can help with making you a more curious person, it can help you to socially interact better with others, and it can also help you to become a better problem-solver. So, if you’re sick of lackluster dating experiences, imagine more. If you want to be more open to blind dates and hook-ups from friends, imagine more. If you want to meet your “the one” sooner than later — imagine more.
3. Vision board dating can help to “end the hamster wheel.” What I mean by that is, if you keep basically dating the same kind of man just in a different body, creating a board that isn’t just about your type or preference but is also about knowing who is good FOR you (check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?”) can help you to break that pattern. Find quotes that speak to who is holistically good for you; don’t just clip pictures of those who look good to you. Feel me? Next point.
4. Vision board dating can help you to “raise your own bar.” I don’t mean being unrealistic in your dating expectations; I mean that it can be fun for you to be like, “I really like day trips. I would love to do a couple of road trips to check out some sites with someone this year” and then you specify the sites on your board. It can also help you to clearly articulate some of your desires instead of always putting the pressure on the guy to try and read your mind in order to get you what you want.
5. Vision board dating is how you can reach your ultimate goal(s). Whether this year is all about dating better than you ever have before or ending the year with your own locked-in bae, if you take vision board dating seriously and literally, it can help you to reach those goals as you hone in on exactly what you desire and then meditate on those things. The reason why I say that is because reaching a goal consists, in part, of creating a plan — and a vision board helps you to do just that.
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You know, there’s a survey that says that back in 2022, as much as 61 percent of people found dating to be overwhelming. Overwhelmed is about feeling inundated, if not flat-out defeated. And oftentimes, overthinking, dwelling in the past, or putting too much pressure on yourself can lead to feeling overwhelmed when it comes to dating.
Calm those emotions by getting it all out on your vision board.
Because you know what they say: “If you build it, he will come.” #wink
Now get off of this thing and get to creating, sis. And definitely keep us posted!
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