Practical Ways To Practice Self-Care While Living Single
I'd like to think I'm very comfortable in my singleness, I'll never forget a text a friend sent me this past Valentine's Day: "Thank you for being an example of what self-love is." I was so good by myself until COVID-19 hit, and now I'm just like everyone else wondering where my Rona bae is. TV shows make single life look so carefree, and to some extent, it is - but for every day we're able to book a last-minute flight, there's a night where you're sick and the only person bringing you soup is Uber Eats.
Don't get me wrong, I love the freedom the single life provides - but right about now, matching pajamas and corny TikTok videos ain't looking too shabby. In a matter of days, Rona has made everyday life, uncomfortable AF. And while there's so much self-help for couples who want to keep date nights spicy, and parents who've become teachers overnight - what about us? So, if you're struggling between playing Megan Thee Stallion or Jhene Aiko, use these tips to cope with COVID before you get in your feelings.
1.Own the happiness and loneliness single life brings.
I recently listened to a live episode of Oprah'sSuperSoul Conversations with Tracee Ellis Ross, where the Pattern Beauty founder spoke about making space for all the emotions single life provides.
"I can feel scared that I'm gonna be lonely and also ask myself, 'Well, don't you like being alone?'"
Keeping space for both truths allows you to live an honest life - when it feels good, and when it doesn't.
2.Plan a date night with yourself indoors.
Honestly, solo dates need to become just as normal as date nights for couples. Get cute for yourself, sis! Run a bath, put on what makes you feel the sexiest, grab some wine, and watch something that makes you laugh, hard. It might not sound like much, but you'd be surprised how those small choices can change the course of your coming week. Last night, I watched Lena Waithe's Twenties in my favorite bodysuit, and I woke up this morning, ready to go for my goals and leave my favorite 90's playlist on repeat all day.
3.Check on your other single friends; chances are they're struggling too.
Singleness can often result in many of us, living very selfish lives (it's not our fault, 80 percent of the time it's just us.) Last week I was feeling alone, so I called a friend who's newly single to catch up. Minutes in, I found out she was pregnant, switching jobs, and moving during the pandemic. Naturally, I switched gears, ready to put on strong friend hat, but to my surprise, she held space for me too. She told me it was OK to be sad, and that she was proud of me for leaving a past relationship. That conversation reminded me that even when I feel alone, I have a community of women ready to hold me down, too - no matter what.
4.Be patient with yourself.
The lot of us were already dealing with everyday issues, and then Rona came adding more stress. Collectively, I don't think we've given each other the space to feel however we need to right now. So if you wake up and have the energy to work on that side hustle, do it - but if all you have room for is your 9 to 5 via Zoom, and reheating leftovers, that's OK too. Whether we realize it or not, our mental health can be impacted by staying indoors for so long, give yourself room to just be.
5.Get a virtual happy hour going.
Thanks to the liquor store being named an essential business, my girls and I have been hanging whether we can link up IRL, or not. I was curious if a virtual happy hour would feel the same, but three hours later, I felt just as connected to my crew as I do on our girls' night out.
Ultimately we don't know how long we'll be inside, but while we're here, let's be extra kind to each other. Check on your group chat, call your mom, watch your favorite movie as many times as you need to. And when you go to get essentials, make sure you fly sis - your Quarantine ting might be waiting for you in the aisle re-upping on his favorite snacks.
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Originally published on April 12, 2020
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Dubbed one of the "21 Black Women Wellness Influencers You Should Follow" by Black + Well, Yasmine Jameelah continues to leave her digital footprint across platforms ranging from Forever 21 Plus, Vaseline, and R29 Unbothered discussing all things healing and body positivity. As a journalist, her writing can be found on sites such as Blavity, Blacklove.com, and xoNecole. Jameelah is also known for her work shattering unconventional stigmas surrounding wellness through her various mediums, including her company Transparent Black Girl. Find Yasmine @YasmineJameelah across all platforms.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Going To A Wellness Retreat Reminded Me Of The Love I Deserve
If you’re like many other people who are prioritizing wellness these days, then attending a wellness retreat might be something to consider. Wellness retreats are a cool way to get the relaxation you’ve been missing in a space with like-minded people who share a common goal. I descended upon my first wellness retreat, the Mind, Body, + Sol Retreat, a couple of weeks ago at the Zoëtry Agua Punta Cana Resort in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.
Zoëtry Agua is part of the Inclusive Collection for the World of Hyatt. It is nestled on a secluded part of Uvero Alto beach, which has crystal blue waters. The resort itself is picturesque, with its thatched roofs and lazy rivers that make you feel like you’re in a cute little village.
Mindy, Body, + Sol Retreat was hosted by Koya Webb, holistic health and wellness coach and yoga instructor, and it also featured other wellness practitioners who combined provided the ultimate gift of relaxation and getting back to oneself.
The first night was a Welcome Dinner that featured a five-course meal and an opportunity to meet our companions for the next three days. The food was impeccable and the only downside was that I wasn’t able to finish it all. The next day, however, was the official start of the classes, and I was ready to dive in.
Aura and Chakra Reading
Aura and chakra reading
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My first class was an aura and chakra reading led by Laura McCann and James Levinson, an Asheville, NC couple. I’ve had chakra readings before, but never like this. There was a computer, a camera, and a scanner, which I placed my hand on for the reading. After two minutes, I received a 15-page report explaining my aura and chakra reading.
It breaks down what the colors of your aura are and what your chakras say. My main colors were green and yellow, which were defined by a variety of things. The top of my aura was green, meaning I have a social mental state and I’m a natural healer. My aura on my left side was yellow meaning my energy flowing is optimistic and light and so on.
After James discussed the findings with me, I then met with Laura, who gave me aromatherapy oils from their ADORAtherapy line that represented each chakra. She further explained the results of my chakra reading and shared how each oil can assist. Chakras are the energy centers in our body, and there is a total of seven: root, sacral, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye, and crown. All of my chakras were high except for my heart chakra, which I have since been working on. I may follow up about that in another article.
Sound Bath
Sound bath class
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Next was the sound bath class. It was located in the spa, which was indoor/ outdoor and the perfect setting for this kind of experience. Andrew Francis and Carrie Bailey of Zenden Meditation were the co-pilots in transporting attendees into a place of tranquility. I laid down, closed my eyes, and allowed the sounds around me to bring me into a relaxing state. From the singing bowls to the wind chimes, I was in heaven. I even fell asleep and got some of the best rest I’ve had in a while. It was a beautiful experience. However, remember when I noted it was an indoor/ outdoor venue? I forgot to put on bug spray and woke up pretty itchy. But it didn’t stop me from enjoying the moment.
Tea Party
Art of Tea Ritual Tea Party
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The last event of the day was the Art of Tea Ritual located in the resort’s tea garden. It was everything you could want in a tea party. Delectable treats such as cookies, cakes, and white chocolate-covered strawberries, which are my fave. And, of course, tea. While I got to sip tea, I also got to make my own tea blend. There were many different teas to choose from, like hibiscus to your regular black tea. I decided to mix rose and mint and I called it RoseMint. I didn’t get to try my tea blend until I got home, and I’ll be honest, it’s probably the best tea I ever had. The tea herbs taste so fresh, and I love how fragrant it smells.
Breathwork
Breathwork Class
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The next morning was all about breathwork. If you exercise regularly, then you probably know the importance of breathing. But there’s more to it besides remembering to breathe during your workout. Margaret Townsend is a breathwork facilitator who helps people achieve wellness by consciously changing their breathing patterns. In her class, I learned to change my breathing pattern for energy as well as for relaxation. While I know that breathing is a relaxation tool, I was blown away to learn that it can also energize you. Because it was a different breathing pattern, I was also able to stay present and keep a steady pace.
Yoga
Koya Webb's yoga class
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The final class of the retreat was evening yoga with Koya Webb, who, as I mentioned earlier, was the host. Her class was held beside the beautiful Uvero Alto beach, which made for a stunning backdrop and the perfect way to end the retreat. It was important for me to get back into my body after not doing yoga for a few weeks, so I was really focused on nailing the moves. However, Koya kept the energy light and fun, evening cracking a few jokes throughout, which made it easy for me to relax and enjoy the moment. She ended the class with a dance break and hugs from our classmates.
The Mind, Body, + Sol Retreat reminded me how important it is to take time to love on myself. Each class was an opportunity to be present and get reacquainted with oneself in the most loving way. Being surrounded by individuals who encouraged my journey was what I needed, and I am so honored to have had this experience.
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