7 Positive Affirmations To Speak Over Your Life Right Now
Self-affirmations is the act of affirming one's own worthiness and value and when done consistently they become your reality. You have the power to speak what you desire into existence. One of the songs my mama used to sing all the time said, "Sometimes you have to encourage yourself. Sometimes you have to speak victory during the test." Speaking over your life helps you to determine who you are, who you want to be and it attracts the things your heart craves. Who are we not to participate in the illustration of our blessings?
Fear and anxiety are natural reactions to the the woes of the world but it doesn't require us to succumb those feelings. It does require us to stand flat-footed in our faith, speak from our hearts and summon the light within. Here are some affirmations to stay ignited in the most profound form.
"We are never alone in our struggles -- and right now, we need each other more than ever." - Alex Elle
Isolating yourself from family and friends automatically triggers feelings of loneliness. Declare that loneliness will not prevail knowing that you have multiple ways to connect with your loved ones. Honestly, this pandemic couldn't have happened at a better time because we are equipped with so many platforms to mind the gap during our social distancing.
When taking deep breaths, breathe in all of the people in your support system and breathe out all negative feelings towards isolation and solitude. No longer will you allow loneliness distract you from the blessing that is your life.
"I am always finding reasons to be happy with the life I have. Good things are unfolding for me because I am grateful for every blessing, big and small. The more I am thankful for in the now, the more I can create for my future." - Commanding Life
It may be hard to find hope in the darkness right now but it has never been so important. When you say this affirmation aloud, follow it up by writing down five things you are grateful for. It pushes you to find the beauty in everything. You were given your life and your circumstances to show others what's possible.
When you live in a space of gratitude, you show the universe that you are ready for new blessings. Gratitude equals abundance. One of the greatest quotes ever says, "Plant yourself so deeply in gratitude that even the greatest of landslides cannot shake your peace."
"I am worthy and my heart is open to receiving love."
Feeling worthy starts with self. Embracing love starts with self.
You have to believe you are worthy so that you can attract a partner that believes you are worthy. And if you aren't in love with yourself, how can you expect someone else to be in love with you? The law of attraction says that our thoughts and feelings shape our reality. For this reason, you have to hold yourself in the highest regard and begin to speak the life you desire into existence.
"I can't control what I can't control. I will do my best with what is in my control."
Letting go of control has to be one of the hardest things to do. As women, we especially want to help by fixing things but the hard truth is that we can't fix everything and everyone. Our superpowers don't extend that far.
Saying this affirmation aloud consistently will help you release unrealistic expectations and the need for perfection which opens you up for spiritual growth. The objective: to be untethered from unwanted emotional possessions and obligations. Relinquishing control makes us free from hindrances.
"I am grateful for another day to shine."
With the intention that every day is a new beginning, start your morning knowing that you are destined to shine bright like a diamond. This specific intention is great for the start of the day and sets the one for everything you do in that 24 hours. We are currently experiencing something that none of us could have possibly imagined. That uncertainty can create a lack of motivation but manifesting success can easily transform those feelings.
"I affirm: I'm not going to rush anything. I'm not going to stress out or worry about how things will work out or worry about how things will work out for me. Instead of overthinking, I will align my faith with divine timing and trust that everything that belongs in my life is making its way towards me right now." - Idil Ahmed
Idil Ahmed gets me together daily on Instagram with her affirmations. When I read this one, it hit different. Mostly because women have this thing with thinking that there are deadlines for things like getting married, having children and having a successful career. I have to constantly remind myself of Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." In other words, God's got us.
"April is going to be a month of massive evolution."
March was full of challenges but we are proclaiming that April is already planting seeds of peace in our minds. We are what we think so this month we will use our thoughts to launch us on a positive path.
The good sis, Dani Simone, tells us to be careful with our words this month in her monthly horoscope, it read, "Mercury's transit in Aries reminds us to think before we speak but also grants us with the conviction needed to speak up for ourselves when needed."
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
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