I Tried Pattern Beauty On My Type 4 Hair & Here’s What I Think
As a proud member of the natural hair community for 15 years, I've seen all types of hair brands come and go - all with the claim of defining curls, adding moisture and being the new "IT" collection for all of us curly girls. Some brands definitely made big waves within the natural hair community and as the movement continued, others wanted in on the action, including big brands that never used to be inclusive (like ever), and of course celebrities.
My straight hair before.
Annisa LiMara/xoNecole
My curls after.
Annisa LiMara/xoNecole
As a lover of all things beauty and hair, Tracee Ellis Ross is a fashion and hair icon all her own and was a trailblazer in her own right. She was one of the first black women to wear her hair in its natural state YEARS before it became a movement and now, a trend. So when I found out last fall that she was launching her own haircare brand, Pattern, I knew I HAD to try it. Because, duh, it's Tracee!
Of course, with any new product launch, the natural hair nazis were out in true form and the reviews were a mixed bunch. The overall thought was that it was great for looser textured curls, any tighter and it was flop. As fate would have it, I received a PR package shortly after it launched so I decided I was up for the challenge for my super thick and curly fro.
Needless to say, I felt in my gut that it could go really good, or REALLY bad. So I cleared my schedule and began my wash day ritual and this was my experience:
From (L to R): Pattern Hydration Shampoo, Pattern Heavy Conditioner For Coilies, Pattern Jojoba Oil Hair Serum & Pattern Leave-In Conditioner
Annisa LiMara/xoNecole
When I first opened my PR package, I was IMPRESSED! The packaging was so chic, so special and just so TRACEE! Even if I didn't end up liking the products, I'm an artist so I can at least appreciate the packaging and marketing which was so captivating. The package even include a Manifesta - an ode to black hair and curls of all textures - and I even got a Denman brush, microfiber towel, hair clip and a fine mist water bottle. A natural girls' best friend!
Pattern Hydration Shampoo
Annisa LiMara/xoNecole
First up was the Hydration Shampoo. After several tries with other shampoos that have dried my hair out in the past, for me, this shampoo would be the true test to see how the line would take to my hair. Also, after having my hair straightened for two weeks, I was pleasantly surprised that not only did my hair feel hydrated while shampooing but my hair was slowly reverting back to its natural state! The shampoo was truly hydrating, created a gentle lather and left my hair feeling super soft. After rinsing out the product, my curls were already popping.
Pattern Heavy Conditioner For Coilies and the Pattern Jojoba Oil Hair Serum
Annisa LiMara/xoNecole
Annisa LiMara/xoNecole
Next, I deep conditioned with the Pattern Heavy Conditioner For Coilies and the Pattern Jojoba Oil Hair Serum. The conditioner was a bit thick for my liking but I made sure to drench each section with water to help distribute the conditioner evenly which made a huge difference. I also applied the Jojoba Oil for an extra moisture boost and used the "Green House Method" with a hot head bonnet and plastic cap for about 20 minutes to trap in moisture. After I rinsed it out, my hair was uber soft and hydrated, so even though I didn't like the texture of the Conditioner For Coilies, it did it's job. Period.
Annisa LiMara/xoNecole
Annisa LiMara/xoNecole
Pattern Leave-In Conditioner
Because the wash and shampoo process was so seamless, it made the styling process a literal dream! I applied the Leave-In Conditioner to each section, applied water to distribute the product evenly, and detangled with the Denman Brush (a must-have). I loved the texture of the Leave-In Conditioner (really creamy) but I was a little apprehensive about it being enough to style my hair, so I kept it simple with a traditional "Wash & Go".
After detangling each section, I applied a little Jojoba Oil to the ends of my hair and applied it onto each section to smooth my curls. It took only 25 minutes because my hair was super easy to detangle and so soft which made styling it a piece of cake! Afterwards, I sat under the hair dryer for 30 minutes and finished drying with a diffuser from roots to tips.
The Final Look:
Annisa LiMara/xoNecole
Annisa LiMara/xoNecole
When I tell ya'll this is one of thee BEST "Wash & Gos" I've done in a long time, I mean it! After drying, I fluffed it out with my hair pick and my curls rose in all their glory! All of the products worked wonders in my type 4, normal porosity, highly dense curly hair - I was literally amazed!
Tracee DID that! My hair was super supple and because I only used one product, it turned out big and fluffy but still had definition; the ultimate goal for curly hair. I would definitely rate this product line an A-.
I always tell people that each head of hair is different and that products work differently even if you have the same supposed "type" of hair. It's NEVER an exact science. But I can truly say that Pattern Beauty worked in my hair even after seeing tons of mixed reviews (and I obviously had my doubts) but I took a chance and was really shook. Pattern Beauty proved me wrong and has allowed me to STAN for Tracee Ellis Ross even more!
Featured image by Annisa LiMara/xoNecole
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images