Quantcast
RELATED
WTF Is Overfunctioning & Is It Taking Over Your Life?
Wellness

WTF Is Overfunctioning & Is It Taking Over Your Life?


I don't know who needs to hear this but, you are not (and should not be) the end-all-be-all solution to everyone's problems. Burnout is a real issue among women, and it often stems from overcompensating, over-performing, and overextending yourself until you finally give zero F's and become over it.

I recently came across a term that made me do a double-take on my own life: overfunctioning. According to the experts at Psychology Today, overfunctioning happens when you go above and beyond to control a situation and other's perceptions and feelings around it. You try to become the hero who will do anything to make sure that all is well, even if it means putting yourself last or not getting what you truly want.

Image via Giphy

A study found that 70 percent of working women have experienced burnout since the start of the pandemic. In addition to being "Zoomed" to death, women have to deal with household and care-giving responsibilities, educational pursuits, and other commitments that put them in overfunctioning mode.

Here's what overfunctioning looks like:

  • Excessive people-pleasing to avoid disappointing others
  • Avoiding saying "no"
  • Setting goals for other people without their permission
  • Taking on more responsibilities even when you are not asked
  • Enabling bad behaviors in others
  • Always talking and never listening to others
  • Giving unsolicited advice
  • Feeling like a victim when others do not recognize your efforts

As an overfunctioner, your anxiety is the driver of your actions because in your mind, if you are not in control of everything, something has to go wrong eventually. You may argue that overfunctioning is "just how it is" or "just the way you are," but it's actually a response to anxiety related to things that honestly have nothing to do with you.

Here's the thing: For so long, we've heard the narrative of being a "strong Black woman." We have to be tough, resilient, independent, and ready to take on life without a flinch because that is what we were taught to do. However, we have to be conscious enough to understand when we follow generational or societal trends by default or subscribe to the need to constantly be in control at all times.

Whatever your reason, take time to understand the emotional, physical, and mental toll overfunctioning can take on your life. "Doing the most" gives you an illusion of being in control when, in reality, you are losing control of yourself.

Image via Giphy

If you're overfunctioning, understand this:

  • You don't always have to be the bigger person if it's to your own mental and physical detriment.
  • You don't always have to give people, work, and situations every bit of your being.
  • You don't always have to find a solution just because someone comes to you with a problem.
  • You don't always have to be a helicopter wife, girlfriend, parent, or friend, trying to stop others from learning from their own mistakes.
How do you stop overfunctioning? Experts recommend facing your fears, recognizing triggers, creating a core set of priorities, and setting boundaries that include an acknowledgement of the importance of self-care. Also, getting the help of a therapist or coach doesn't hurt either.

You are ultimately responsible for yourself and how you react and respond to life.

You will find better peace of mind knowing that you can eliminate burnout when you stay and operate within your lane and live a life where you can let your hair down and let others do the same, live life, and learn for themselves.

Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!

Featured Image via Shutterstock

 

RELATED

 
ALSO ON XONECOLE
Stacey and Dalen Spratt

How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.

I’m willing to bet that this is not the first time you’ve seen this couple. Dalen Spratt is a television producer, owner of a tailored men's suit line, and creator of Ghost Brothers: Haunted Houseguests, which is currently streaming on Destination America. Stacey Spratt is also a serial entrepreneur, focusing mostly on events and the nonprofit world, and she is the owner of two award-winning craft beer bars called Harlem Hops. But their accolades are not what united them.

KEEP READINGShow less
Happy-young-African-American-couple-enjoying-leisure-time-together-while-scrolling-phone-dating-apps

In 2024, there’s tons of thought and strategy that can go into dating online. While dating apps offer a convenient space to find potential partners, it’s become more complicated by the day to know just how to land a worthwhile match at all. With paywalls, roses, and Super Likes to push past while using dating apps, a common sentiment among singles is: do these apps really want us to find love at all?

KEEP READINGShow less
LATEST POSTS