Self-care is more than a buzz word of the moment, it's a lifestyle. And it's a practice everyone should indulge in.
So often we prioritize our work, our families, and other assorted responsibilities ahead of prioritizing ourselves. Trust me, I've been there. As xoNecole's Managing Editor, I often find myself at the beck and call of emails, being pulled this way and that way for content edits, and of course, managing a team. I used to wake up and allow myself to be inundated with emails before I had time to even brush my teeth. But after months of feeling myself become more and more depleted from the hustle and flow of the daily rise and grind, I had to take ownership of how I approach my day. That began with upping the way I approached self-care.
And as our Editor In Chief, Necole Kane suggested in her post on the importance of having a morning ritual, there is nothing like the peace that comes with taking a couple of hours to pour into yourself before pouring into anything or anyone else. Self-care practices can differ from person to person, and today, we have gathered the different self-care routines that our xoNecole editorial team swears by. Check them out by clicking through the gallery below and get inspired!
Ashleigh
Ashleigh
As a Social Media Manager, you can just imagine how busy and chaotic my life can be. On any given day, either y'all President tweeted something ridiculous for the billionth time or Beyonce is breaking the internet and coming for everybody's wigs. Which is why taking time out for myself is critical; even though I feel like there's not enough hours in a day. Due to my hectic schedule, I've dedicated Sunday mornings to sort of unplug from the internet and truly enjoy me time.
I've started using Sundays to sleep in and get the rest that I need.
I make sure my phone alarms aren't set so that nothing is waking me up earlier that I want. This has reduced my stress levels so that I'm energized and I don't go into the new week still stressed out from the week before. Once I wake up, I take roughly 10 minutes to lay in silence and thank God for my blessings. I've found that this helps me get rid of any negative thoughts I've accumulated. Positive vibes only!
The last thing I do before kicking my Sunday off is log in to YouTube and listen to a church sermon, preferably by One LA. This is the highlight of my day because I can usually always relate to the message and it puts me in better spirits. I've recently re-started my spiritual journey and I've found that until I can find a church that I'm happy with; the word is still the word no matter how I receive it. My favorites lately have been from Toure Roberts. - Ashleigh Hardin-Jones, Social Media Manager
Gynai
Gynai
When it comes to self-care for me, it'll sometimes be a moment, or it can end up being a whole day, depending on how my energy is.
The most important part of doing self-care for me is solitude. My phone goes on Do Not Disturb and Sage and Palo Santo gets lit so I can clear any and every bad vibe from my space. Then music is played, and that'll be my R&B Vibes playlist or my Good Vibes playlist, which is a combination of R&B and ratchetry, because who doesn't need a good ratchet song to make them feel good?
A very hot and steamy shower is brought into the self-care mix as well, which includes exfoliating everything, 'cause in that moment, I'm picturing me exfoliating my entire life. After moisturizing with my favorite body butter skin BUTTR. My favorite scent is the strawberry coco one. Omg. It will have you walking around smelling like an entire snack. I'll throw on an oversized hoodie, continue to play my music, and journal for a bit. - Gynai Kristol, Video Editor
Sheriden
Sheriden
I'm a creature of habit by nature, but typically my day to day involves a lot of pulling myself outside of my areas of comfort. It's necessary, it grows me, and also makes me stronger.
And to reward myself for that stretching, my self-care looks like practices that are routine and pour back into me.
One day out of the week, typically Sundays, I allow myself to wake up naturally (No 6:30 here, bih), I reflect through gratitude journaling, I do a mask, light a candle, read a book, wash my hair, dancing to music while I make a hearty meal. It's very much grounded in taking my time and doing things that make me feel good. Because I have more time on my self-care days, actions that get abbreviated throughout the week are extended and I can relax into each practice and not be concerned about the world. I am reminded that I am my world and I return home in that effort of oneness.
Some of the tools in my current self-care routine include The Seat of The Soul by Gary Zukav. Truly for-pleasure reading is hard to come by throughout the week due to the nature of my work so I savor the pages of whatever book I'm able to lose myself in. Peel & Glow 2 Step Mask by Soo'Ae has been blessing my melanin with an even brighter glow. And last but not least, Carol's Daughter green tea-infused Green Supreme Trio has been quenching my hair's thirst lately. It's all so simple, but effective. - Sheriden Chanel, Managing Editor
Taylor
Taylor
My self-care consists of some hardcore mental, physical, and spiritual alignment.
I can't get out of bed without my own special combination of Starbucks French Roast and Butter Pecan International Coffee Creamer. You can get a month's worth for $10 from your local grocery store. About two years ago, I stumbled across an exercise called The Miracle Morning, which includes six essential steps, summarized by the acronym SAVERS: Silence, Affirmations, Visualizations, Exercise, Reading, and Scribing.
After my miracle morning routine, I use St. Ives Apricot exfoliating scrub and witch hazel to make me feel fresh, beautiful, and ready to conquer the day. To finish off my self-care practices, my cousin recently gave me a bundle of white sage that I burn to cleanse my space of any negative energy or thoughts. - Taylor Honore, Daily Writer
Fontaine
Fontaine
Self-love and self-care for me is something that is closely linked to my spirituality and divine femininity.
I've been forced to be strong and responsible for others all my life, so the thing that keeps me grounded when I'm hurting or feeling weak is expressing my vulnerability. I do this through dance, as I embrace my creativity and feminine power - especially when I'm going through some kind of setback, heartbreak, or rejection from a guy; I love to pretend like I'm Beyonce! It isn't always pretty, sometimes it's filled with pain, but it's through the release, that it It works like a charm!
I'm also a tarot and holistic healing girl, so nothing is more "self-caring" than connecting to your higher self for guidance. Doing tarot helps me get to the root of any blockages within myself, and helps me get clear on how to heal them and move on. In order to get in the zone, I use daily meditation and affirmation rituals to connect with my "big self," and spirit guides. Being able to tap into stillness requires you to control your energy and upper chakras. You don't reach this level of oneness without self-care first.
Finally, nothing gets my self-care more together than getting my nails and my toes done. Especially when I've waited too long, and them acrylics, and them toes especially, need some heavy duty work! Keeping up with my appearance is an extension of my divine femininity. Respecting myself enough to maintain my own beauty standards is my self-care too. - Fontaine Felisha Foxworth, Wellness & Horoscope Writer
Jame
Jame
My self-care routine is rooted in ensuring that I always center myself.
One of the biggest changes I made that has changed my life around entirely is waiting till after 10 A.M. to check social media and emails. I won't even open the apps. Instead, I use the beginning of my morning to set my intentions for the day, to speak positive affirmations over myself, to pray, and to be one with my own thoughts before jumping into a busy day.
While I do a lot of beauty regimes as part of my self-care, another huge one I love to do is cleaning my room on Sundays. Growing up, I was taught not to work on the Lord's day, but there's just something about getting everything together right before you go to bed and waking up the next day ready to start your week. And lastly, another huge component of my self-care routine involves sleep!
Entrepreneurs and creatives are pushed to live a "no sleep" life to achieve their dreams, but I realized as soon as I began honoring my body with how I needed to decompress before sleep, how many hours I needed, and when it was time to tune out the world, I saw a world of difference that has now become a non-negotiable in my life. - Jame Jackson, Fashion & Beauty Writer
Joce
Joce
For me, self-care is all about cherishing moments.
It's so easy to get overwhelmed by the duties and responsibilities of life. Whenever I can just pause to appreciate the important things in life, I relish in those moments.
For example, every Sunday, I buy myself flowers; they remind me of joy, strength, and resilience. I am a firm believer in doing things that make you happy. I love a good meal and a good trip so I try to treat myself as much as I can. Then, there are the moments I spend with my tribes. They keep me grounded and lord knows they keep me sane. My tribes have helped me appreciate nature more especially now that I am living in Colorado. I am truly amazed by God's work in nature.
I also find solace in supporting causes that warm my heart. Along those lines, I try to work on projects that are making the world a better place in a real, genuine way. Above all, my faith is my truest form of self-care. From my morning ritual of a mini praise and worship session to my church home, there's nothing like my relationship with God. He's the only constant in my life. - Joce Blake, Style & Human Interest Writer
How do you do self-care? Let us know some of your favorite practices and products in the comments down below.
- 5 Beauty Products Perfect For Self-Care - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- How To Care For Stressed Out Skin - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Daily Routine for Healthy Body and Mind for Successful Women - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Signs Of Burnout, What To Do About It - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 45 Simple Self-Care Practices for a Healthy Mind, Body & Soul ›
- 20 Self-Care Practices for the Mind, Body and Soul | HuffPost ›
- How Clinicians Practice Self-Care & 9 Tips for Readers | Psych Central ›
- 21 Of The Best Self Care Practices Ever ›
- 10 Simple Ways to Practice Self-Care ›
- 25 Science-Backed Ways to Change Your Life by Taking Better Care ›
- 15 Self-Care Practices for Well-Being - Daring to Live Fully ›
- 15 Little Ways To Practice Self-Care And Improve Your Mood ›
- Health education programmes to improve foot self-care practices ... ›
- 134 Activities to Add to Your Self-Care Plan ›
RELATED
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
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Feature image by Antonio Livingston.
As an ambivert, I must admit that I constantly live in a state of staycations (LOL) because I enjoy my space and spending time with myself just that much. And, even though I’m personally not a “holidays person,” I must say that for those who do observe them, I think that taking staycations (vacations at home or in your city) during those days can be cool because you can center them around a theme — and what better theme can there be than love? Including self-love.
I’m telling you, devoting an entire weekend to rest, recharge, and holistic pampering, I’m not sure if life gets any better than that. So, why not seize the moment this Valentine’s Day weekend by incorporating (at least some of) the following 10 tips?
1. Get Yourself a Body Pillow
GiphyAs a doula, I’ve gotta admit that the only time a body pillow really comes to mind is when I’m talking to a client about how she can make her second and/or third trimester more comfortable as far as sleep is concerned. However, when I was recently talking to a single woman about how she hates that her king-size bed feels so empty yet she’s not ready to put a warm body in it, “Get yourself a body pillow” came out of my mouth.
The truth is body pillows are great, in general, when it comes to supporting great posture, helping you to sleep better (if you happen to be a side sleeper), improving blood circulation, reducing snoring, helping you to toss and turn less throughout the night and even soothing aching muscles and joints. Plus, it gives you something to cuddle with. So, if you want to treat yourself to something unique that’s super practical at the same time, get a body pillow this Valentine’s Day. It’ll be one of the best investments that you’ve made in quite some time.
2. Buy Some Sexy/Comfy PJs Too
GiphyUnless you sleep in the nude, it’s a good idea toswap out your pajamas every 4-5 days or so. That way, between all of the dead skin cell shedding and sweating, you can be proactive about taking care of your skin as well as your bedding. Okay, but how often should you purchase a new pair of PJs? Well, when you stop to think about the fact that you are in them for 5-8 hours every night, every 6-9 months is probably a good idea. That said, if it’s been a couple of years longer than that since you’ve invested in some, Valentine’s Day is just as good of a time as any, wouldn’t you say?
And don’t get those granny-looking ones either. Just because you’re single, that doesn’t mean that all you have are dated moo-moos (although I’ve had some husbands sing the praises of those before — LOL) and oversized flannels in your near future. Pajamas that are made out of cotton are good so that your skin can breathe; however, try and go for something sexy like a baby doll set or a tank and some boy shorts. Science backs up the fact that how we choose to dress impacts our self-esteem — why would you think that only applies to how you look while you are outside of the house?
3. Put Some Flowers in Your Room
GiphyPersonally, I adore fresh flowers. Yet if you happen to be someone who doesn’t see the point in them, thinks they are a waste of money, and/or feels like it’s kinda-sorta ridiculous to get your own self a bouquet — let me just say that there is plenty of research out here to support the fact that flowers help to put you in a better mood, decrease stress, reduce indoor air pollution, lower blood pressure and even make you more attentive.
Know what else is interesting? Red and yellow flowers can help you to feel more comfortable, cheerful, and calm. Red roses are pretty much the signature flower for Valentine’s Day — and now you’ve got some really solid reason to get yourself a dozen of ‘em.
4. Have Your Favorite Meal Delivered
GiphyIf I were to ever have a social media platform or podcast, one thing that you will never hear outta me is that I am not Team Cooking. Cooking is healthier for you and (before this guy because POTUS) it’s significantly cheaper too. That doesn’t mean I don’t have a DoorDash account, though — and I am absolutely not afraid to use it! Sometimes, ordering a meal can feel indulgent because, not only are you letting someone else prepare what you enjoy eating, it is being hand-delivered to you too.
Since everything that we’re talking about today is how to set the stage for a bomb-sss staycation, definitely get food sent to you. No dishes to clean up is a very necessary step when it comes to chilling out and relaxing all Valentine’s Day (weekend).
5. Take Yourself on a Date
GiphyAgain, since Valentine’s Day falls on a Friday this year, this gives you the entire weekend to date yourself. Go to your local farmers’ market. Enjoy an indoor picnic. Check out an indie concert. Stop by a coffee shop, write yourself some love letters (check out “Every Woman Should Write A Love Letter To Themselves”), and then mail them to your house on the way home. Be a tourist in your own city. Go ice or roller skating. Schedule a photo shoot (for yourself).
Take yourself shopping. Read at least three chapters of a book or watch an entire movie while in the bathtub. Spend the night at a swanky hotel. Remember, at the end of the day, a date is a way of spending quality time with someone. Since Valentine’s Day is a day that celebrates love, why not spend quality time with who should be your favorite person: YOURSELF.
6. Or Go on a Virtual Tour
GiphyAnd what if what I just suggested sounds great in theory; however, you’re really just not in the mood? Well, another way that you can still “date yourself” is to open up your laptop and go on a virtual tour. For instance, if you’ve always wanted to go to Greece, Peru, or Ireland or you’re curious about Antarctica or the Amazon Rainforest, you can click here to check these places out up close and personally. Wanna learn more about Africa? There are several virtual tours available here.
To tell you the truth, these days, there are virtual tours that cover just about any place that you can think of. Personally, I think that this is a cool thing to do on a staycation because you can “be somewhere” from the comfort and convenience of your own home, and/or it’s a proactive way to put a plan together so that you and/or some friends can go on a trip before the year is out.
7. Give Yourself a Scalp and Foot Massage
GiphyIf you’ve “got it like that,” something else that can make this a really special single girl’s Valentine’s Day staycation event is to have a massage therapist give you a massage (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”) at your home. However, if coins are tight, you can still pamper yourself by engaging in a DIY scalp and foot massage. Both reduce stress. Both release tension. Both make for an amazing night’s sleep.
Tips for how to give yourself a stellar scalp massage can be found here. Tips for how to give yourself a wonderful foot massage can be found here. And definitely don’t forget to incorporate some soothing essential oils. I’ve got a list of some for you right here.
8. Start a Self-Love Scrapbook or Journal
GiphyQuestion: What tangible memories do you have of how you love yourself? Weird question, right? Still, that doesn’t make it an invalid one. I can only imagine how much better we’d all feel about ourselves if we actually had a self-love scrapbook to refer to — one that consisted of receipts from pampering days, self-love quotes that we enjoy, some of our favorite pictures of ourselves, written down memories of some ah-ha moments of transformation that particularly standout…anything that reminds us of loving ourselves (that can fit into a scrapbook).
If you like the idea and yet need some inspiration, check out Skillshare’s “40 Beautiful Scrapbooking Ideas to Try.” Or you can use this as an opportunity to get a fresh journal — one that is dedicated to nothing but mantras, quotes, song lyrics, and thoughts pertaining to how to love yourself more and better. Make sure to put the dates and times of your entries in. There’s nothing like seeing actual documentation of your own self-love journey and growth.
9. Turn It into a Sleepover with Your Friends
GiphyJust because you’re single, that doesn’t mean you have to spend Valentine’s Day alone — if you don’t want to. One woman I know, she hosts a Valentine’s Day party for the single men and women in her life every year. Another one? She has an old-school sleepover where her girlfriends wear heart PJs, watch throwback rom-coms, and eat every form of junk food known to man (and woman). Definitely one of the reasons why Valentine’s Day feels lonely for some people is because they think that love only means romantic love and that absolutely could not be further from the truth.
If the idea of using this coming Valentine’s Day weekend to fall off the grid to mankind isn’t your idea of a good time, you can always call a friend or two to spend the night with you. Or, you can have a virtual sleepover with homies who live elsewhere. You can learn more about how to execute one of those here and here.
10. SLEEP. IN.
GiphyIf you don’t have to work this Valentine’s Day weekend, why not sleep in? When you stop to think about the fact that sleep reduces stress, improves your mental health, reduces your blood sugar levels, helps you to maintain a healthy weight, and strengthens your heart — how could putting your phone on DND (Do Not Disturb) and not setting your alarm NOT be an act of self-love? The world will still be waiting for you once you roll out of bed.
In honor of a phenomenal single woman’s Valentine’s Day staycation, let it wait. Sis, I’m pretty sure you’ve earned it. SLEEP. IN. (Yay!)
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Featured image by Lorado/Getty Images