Emiline
Pronouns:
She/Her
Occupation(s):
"I am an exotic dancer and work for a sex enhancement company called Pink Heffs."
What has your time in the industry been like? How has FOSTA impacted you?
"It has been an adventure for sure! It's an industry you must enter alone with little guidance, and lots of competition. But overall, my experience has been good. I have learned a lot about life and people. You can meet genuine people in this industry if you're selective and smart about who you let in your circle. It's another world but if you can apply what you learn to the real world you can make it in both. I would think FOSTA only really affects those dancers who solicit and promote their pages online. Shadowbanning is a threat for them."
What should the world know about sex work?
"The world needs to know that your favorite teacher, news anchor, or even your best friend's mom has probably dabbled in sex work. You would not believe how many people have stripped as a means to an end. Especially people in intense college programs or with mouths to feed. You never know what a person does in their private life or has done in their past! Many strippers are multifaceted people with normal lives. Realize this."
Editor's Note: Emiline herself is working to rebuild schools in Ghana through her non-profit Akua Ghana Gives Foundation.
To read more, click "Next Page."
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To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorney and a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
Courtesy
I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
Courtesy
That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
Courtesy
So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
Courtesy
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