What Sex Workers Need You To Know About Their Careers
The plight of sex workers is one that goes unnoticed by most of the world. Even after the government made the life-altering decision to enforce laws like Stop Enabling Sex Trafficking Act and Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act that have put sex workers directly back in harm's way by forcing some to market on the streets.
Each act has shown literally nothing that statistically exemplifies and validates the initial purpose of these senseless laws. On this path, it won't take long before acts such as the End Banking For Human Trafficking actually make the cut, which would permit further censorship and evoke greater safety issues for sex workers by forcing them to carry large sums of money with them, as banks would be authorized to close the accounts of sex workers at their own discretion.
In this world, black women and men both inside and outside of the sex industry are forced to share the shame of others. What happens to us is consequential of that learned shame, so I'm ready to debunk what you know to be true about sexuality as it pertains to sex workers in hopes it'll create a better sex space for all of us. To accomplish this, I scoured the internet, my network, and ultimately with the help of friends, I was able to find 6 sex workers of color with 6 different accounts of what the industry is like and what they want you to know about their careers in sex work.
Valentine
Pronouns:
She/ Her/They
Occupation(s):
"My occupation and focus as a sex worker is in queer porn, erotic modeling, and exotic dancing."
What has your time in the industry been like? How has FOSTA impacted you?
"My experience overall as a sex worker has been positive and well received. I've been really grateful to have the influence I've had in my immediate circles. Exposure through people and networking a ton to get gigs I feel passionate about. I understand that my particular look does limit me in a lot of ways and my body type is something that may not always be considered, but I ignore those aspects of it and focus on being someone who is representative of other models/performers that look similar to me and want to see that representation in the media.
"FOSTA is starting to rear its ugly head in my realm. I use social media quite a bit and it's starting to limit access to areas in which we can post erotic content. I feel like overall this affects everyone. Not just sex workers, but our clients, our markets, even people who are just using it for artistic expression. Even things [where] people aren't blatantly sexual in nature will probably start to be affected. So my modeling may be under fire soon enough."
"Sex work is something that gives someone autonomy, is accessible for the disabled, therapeutic, and I think people deep down really understand that and don't want to acknowledge it due to social grooming."
What should the world know about sex work?
"The one takeaway the world should understand about sex work is that it's always existed. It's an exchange between two people and should be respected as much as casual encounters or taking someone on a date. There's still expectation and money involved. And unfortunately sometimes consequences as a result of the two. Sex work is something that gives someone autonomy, is accessible for the disabled, therapeutic and I think people deep down really understand that and don't want to acknowledge it due to social grooming. We need to get out of our heads about it and take a hold of it. Other countries have learned to accept it. We need to catch up."
To read more, click "Next Page."
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Lauren London Is On A Journey Of Self-Love: 'I Need To Learn Who I Am Outside Of My Trauma'
Lauren London has gone through many transitions in her life, from becoming a mother to experiencing loss when her beau, Nipsey Hussle, passed, and now she is focused on self-love.
During her conversation on A Really Good Cry podcast, the beloved actress revealed her struggles with self-love and why it's important to take this time in her life to learn how to love on herself.
"I've never really functioned in self-love. I've never really functioned in self-acceptance, and this is my time to learn what that is," she shared.
"I need to learn who I am outside of my trauma, from the childhood trauma and then the adult trauma. I need to really know what it feels like to be in sovereignty with me, and that's the space that I'm in.
"I don't really know self-acceptance like that and I would like to know that. I would like to see myself the way God intended me to see myself. Not through the reflection of anyone else right now, really just through the eyes of God."
She continued, "I didn't have that growing up. I had a lot of things I had to overcome. I've been in survivor mode for many years before the tragedy (Nipsey's death), and so I need to love on Lauren. I need to see what that is."
Being an actress, Lauren opened up about some of the things that come with the territory, including going to events and parties to stay relevant.
While she said going out doesn't fill her soul, it is a constant battle with her friends and her team. But according to the mom of two, she no longer wants her identity to be tied to her work.
"I think now I'm just, again, finding home within myself," she said. When it comes to what's next for the You People star, Lauren said she doesn't know and it's okay to just be and sit in what you just accomplished.
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Feature image is by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Glamour