We have officially transitioned into the fall season, which encourages us to reclaim a sense of balance in our lives. The New Moon on the 6th invites us to recognize where we are giving or taking too much. When Venus shifts into Sagittarius, there's a desire for a wild, romantic adventure to shake up our routine. This month, we have three planets going direct—Pluto, Saturn, and Mercury—helping us feel a greater sense of forward momentum. The fiery Full Moon on the 20th liberates us from a need to fit in with the crowd and to, instead, become a trailblazer of our own destiny.
Towards the end of the month, the Sun and Mars motivate us to lock in on our goals and see through to completion. Check out how your zodiac sign is affected in the month ahead:
Aries
AriesLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month kicks off with a New Moon on the 6th inviting you into partnerships that are more in alignment with your personal evolution. On the same day, Pluto goes direct and the changes you've been making internally are more evident. You've spent a lot of time unlearning old programming and confronting your fears in regards to your career, authority, and success. Now it's your time to shine. On the 7th, Venus enters Sagittarius, making this an ideal time to plan a baecation or take a solo trip. If you're single, there's a possibility of meeting someone special during your travels.
When Saturn goes direct on the 10th, you're ready to put those lessons you've been learning about friendship and community into action. On the 18th, Mercury goes direct to help clear up any miscommunications within your closest connections. The Full Moon in your sign on the 20th is the much-needed spark that you've been craving since Leo season. It's time to reveal more of your magnificence to the world. By the end of the month the Sun and Mars team up in Scorpio inviting you to do a deep dive into your psyche and your most valuable relationships. Sexual healing, transformation, and intimacy await you during this transit.
Taurus
TaurusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleYour health and wellness are top priority around the New Moon on the 6th. Implementing new routines, habits, and a fitness regimen will help get you back into alignment if you've been feeling off lately. On the same day, Pluto goes direct, giving you the opportunity to walk your path with more confidence after spending the past several months redefining your spiritual beliefs and personal philosophies. When Venus enters Sagittarius on the 7th, you're invited to get clear on the kind of people that you want close(r) to you. Fickle energies just won't do for a fixed sign like you.
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct to get you back on track with some of your longer term career goals and the legacy you're building for yourself. When Mercury goes direct on the 18th, you're able to integrate any recent changes you've wanted to make within your work environment or daily schedule. On the 20th, the Full Moon stirs up some inner tension and frustrations--possibly more so within your dreams. Find healthy outlets for your anger to avoid getting snappy with others. The Sun shifts into Scorpio on the 23rd, then meets up with Mars on the 30th, bringing your attention to your partnerships, marriage, and contractual agreements. Hidden resentments can come to the surface but it's all about how you address them so you and the other party can get on the same page moving forward.
Gemini
GeminiLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month begins with a romantic New Moon in Libra inviting you to put yourself out there--especially if you're single. It's time to ditch the sweatpants and oversized t-shirts for some real clothes. This is a particularly creative, sweet, and playful time for you, so make the most of it. On the same day, Pluto goes direct, coaxing you out of hermit mode to rejoin the rest of the world after spending the past several months in cocoon mode. When Venus enters Sagittarius on the 7th, you're attracting some interesting partnerships and collaborations meant to expand your worldview.
When Saturn goes direct on the 10th, you're ready to move forward without all of the karmic debris you've been clearing out in relation to your spiritual beliefs and practices. On the 18th, Mercury goes direct to push along any projects that have stalled due to reasons beyond your control or procrastination. The Full Moon on the 20th encourages you to showcase what makes you stand out. Ultimately, this will align you with the right crowd that can support you in fulfilling your vision. On the 23rd, the Sun shifts into Scorpio, then teams up with Mars on the 30th giving you a much-needed boost of energy to handle your daily responsibilities and still have enough fuel to squeeze in a workout, too.
Cancer
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Home and family matters have your attention around the New Moon on the 6th. Investing into property or family planning may be on the list around this time. On the same day, Pluto goes direct, helping you move forward in your most significant relationships with more ease after confronting some of your fears these past several months. Financial partnerships are also highlighted, making this an auspicious time for opportunities that will bring you more power, security, and success. When Venus enters Sagittarius, you could start feeling restless with your routine, making it a good time to switch up your approach or environment in some way. If you're looking for remote work, this could be a lucky time to find the perfect opportunity.
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct which has you feeling more empowered in your ability to make the right connections and build upon your ideal community of people that can help you achieve your bigger goals. When Mercury goes direct on the 18th, this is a more favorable time to sign a new lease or close on a property. Any rifts with family members, roommates, or a live-in partner can also be resolved more easily. On the 20th, the Full Moon requires you to step up to the plate and flex your boss muscle. You've got what it takes to handle any challenges in your career. Towards the end of the month, the Sun and Mars shift into Scorpio, intensifying both your libido and creativity. Baby-making season is in the air!
Leo
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The month begins with a New Moon in Libra inviting you to negotiate your way to the bag. Networking figures strongly into your life during this time. Stay ready so you don't have to get ready. You only get one chance to make a first impression. On the same day, Pluto goes direct empowering you to implement positive habits and routines into your life. A little bit of discipline goes a long way. When Venus shifts into Sagittarius on the 7th, your sex appeal is out of this world. If you're open to romance, just have fun without putting too much pressure on things (at least for the time being).
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct, helping you get more clear with your boundaries in existing relationships (including your relationship with your work). Mercury goes direct on the 18th, moving forward any stalled communications. The Full Moon in Aries on the 20th stirs up your wanderlust which could have you planning a great escape to some far-off land. On the 23rd, the Sun shifts into Scorpio then meets up with Mars on the 30th, bringing your focus to settling down a bit.
Virgo
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The New Moon at the beginning of the month invites you to explore new ways of making money. As multifaceted as you are, there's always another way of getting the bag. On the same day, Pluto goes direct, empowering you to express your creativity in ways like never before. This energy is extremely cathartic and supportive of you creating some of your best work to-date. When Venus shifts into Sagittarius on the 7th, your home environment could have you feeling a bit restless. A need to expand beyond your comfort zone is hard to ignore which could have you considering a more nomadic lifestyle.
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct, making it a lot more easy for you to get back into a structured routine. A week later, your ruling planet, Mercury, goes direct, giving you the green light when it comes to new business partnerships and opportunities. The Full Moon in Aries on the 20th motivates you to release your perfectionist tendencies so you can finally pursue your hidden desires. On the 23rd, the Sun enters Scorpio which could have you feeling exposed in your vulnerability. Be mindful of who you're sharing your secrets with during this time. Once Mars meets up with the Sun, there's potential that someone may just be trying to gather intel on you as a part of some bigger scheme.
Libra
LibraLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month begins with a New Moon in your sign inviting you to make a wish for what you want to accomplish in the next year around the Sun. On the same day, Pluto goes direct after being retrograde since the Spring. An inner transformation related to your upbringing and family has now been completed empowering you to stand in your truth. You only have one life to live. Make sure you're living it for yourself. When Venus shifts into Sagittarius on the 7th, your natural flirtatious ways are enhanced making this an auspicious time for attracting romance into your life. Keep your expectations light during this time and just have fun getting to know people. Be open to connecting with someone from a completely different walk of life. There's so much to learn from an experience that differs from your own.
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct which has you more clear about the kind of long-term commitment you want. Don't be afraid to explore unconventional ways of going about a partnership. What works for someone else may not be a good fit for you. The Full Moon in Aries on the 20th helps you release your people-pleasing tendencies so you can start establishing more sovereignty in your life. Towards the end of the month, the Sun and Mars transition into Scorpio, motivating you to initiate new financial partnerships and streams of income. Know your worth and add tax!
Scorpio
ScorpioLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe beginning of the month invites you to reflect on situations that need some closure. Your karmic debt has been paid, so there's no need to prolong your suffering. Make peace with what hasn't worked out the way you thought it would. The Divine has something way better in store for you anyway. On the same day, Pluto goes direct after spending the past six months retrograde. Your inner dialogue has gone through a major transformation that will ultimately support you in aligning with the life of your dreams. On the 7th, Venus enters Sagittarius which has you dreaming up a way to make money while not having to be confined to one space. When it comes to romance or financial partnership, be open to connecting with someone from a different walk of life. You can learn a lot from their perspective.
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct, helping you get more clear about what family, home, and tribe means to you. If you've felt restricted in any of these areas in the past several month, the energies ease up moving forward. When Mercury goes direct on the 18th, you're clear on what (and who) needs to be left behind. You've gone as far as you can within this situation and now it's time to venture into new territory. The Full Moon in Aries on the 18th breaks you out of a lethargic funk to reinvigorate your sense of passion and purpose in your daily affairs. On the 23rd, the Sun enters Scorpio and meets up with Mars on the 30th, enhancing your drive, motivation, and will power. This an opportune time to tackle your to-do list and make some major moves.
Sagittarius
SagittariusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month begins with a New Moon in Libra on the 6th inviting you to expand your social network and reconnect with friends you haven't seen in a while. On the same day, Pluto goes direct which has you feeling more in control of your finances moving forward. Investments and wealth building are your top priorities in the months to come. When Venus shifts into your sign on the 7th, your luck factor increases even more as you find yourself on the receiving end of a lot of attention, opportunities, and blessings.
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct, setting you up with the right mindset that you need to achieve your goals. Don't throw in the towel just because your growth isn't happening quick enough. On the 18th, Mercury goes direct, supporting the forward movement of your long-term endeavors and ironing out any communication kinks you've had with a team member that may be helping you in the process. The Full Moon in Aries encourages you to indulge in some pleasure and romance. Towards the end of the month, the Sun and Mars in Scorpio are kicking up some suppressed frustrations (and possibly revealing some hidden enemies). Make sure you're viewing someone's actions objectively, minus all of your idealizations.
Capricorn
CapricornLaci Jordan for xoNecoleMatters of career take precedence at the beginning of the month with the New Moon in Libra and so the next phase of your journey begins. Be mindful of power struggles with anyone in a position of authority. If you don't like being bossed around, then create an exit strategy to become your own boss. On the same day, Pluto goes direct in your sign, empowering you to recognize just how effective you are at making shit happen. Unlike some, you don't have a problem rolling up your sleeves and getting into the nitty gritty for the sake of the legacy you're building. When Venus enters Sagittarius on the 7th, your love life blossoms behind the scenes, making this a good time to enjoy some privacy at home with that special person in your life.
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct, moving money matters forward. Where you once felt restricted, the energy starts to open up again in the months to come. Mercury goes direct on the 18th, making it a good time to finalize any negotiations and contracts that have been hanging up in the air. On the 20th, the Full Moon in Aries brings an issue to the head amongst the home or family. The pressure to make a quick change to your environment may be looming over you at this time. When the Sun and Mars shift into Scorpio by the end of the month, your friends may be the source of stability that you need. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. You've got more people on your side than against you.
Aquarius
AquariusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe New Moon in Libra on the 6th has you ready to spread your wings to take off on a new adventure, whether that involves you traveling to a place on your bucket list, enrolling in a spiritual workshop, or applying to go back to school. On the same day, Pluto goes direct and you can finally come up for air after doing some pretty intense soul-searching these past six months. Now it's time for you to apply these lessons you've been resolving into your daily life. When Venus shifts into Sagittarius on the 7th you're feeling the love amongst your friend group and may even want to celebrate your bonds with a long-awaited girls' trip.
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct encouraging you to embrace a little more structure and discipline. You're full of brilliant, progressive ideas. It's just time for you to really commit to them and follow through on your goals. When Mercury goes direct on the 10th, you could find yourself in the position of teacher or mentor to those that look to you for your expertise. Writing and public speaking figure strongly into this energy, making it a good time to get your message out there. The Full Moon on the 20th grants you the courage to say what you mean without fear of backlash. Some people are intent on misunderstanding you which is their problem—not yours. Towards the end of the month, the Sun and Mars enter Scorpio, giving you a much-needed boost to conquer your career goals.
Pisces
PiscesLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe beginning of the month starts on a more quiet note for you with the New Moon in Libra. A silent partnership may be in the works for you around this time, which can grant you the leg up that you need to move your financial and business endeavors forward. On the same day, Pluto goes direct, helping you take a different approach to your friendships and social networks. After re-evaluating this area of your life these past six months, you're now more clear about who you want to join forces with. When Venus enters Sagittarius on the 7th, you're feeling the heat—whether it be from the pressure to step up to the plate in your career or a romantic attraction that is brewing between you and someone with a whole lot of influence.
On the 10th, Saturn goes direct, continuing this process of cleaning out the metaphorical trash in your subconscious. Limiting and restricting beliefs have to go for you to fully embrace your magic. When Mercury goes direct on the 18th, you're given the green light to sign off on any financial contracts. The Full Moon in Aries on the 20th liberates you from playing small. It's time to recognize your worth, raise your prices, and add tax. On the 23rd, the Sun shifts into Scorpio and is followed behind by Mars on the 30th inviting you to step into your power and role as a leader. You have no idea how many people you're inspiring on a daily basis but soon enough it will be made evident.
For more about zodiac signs, horoscopes, and astrology, check out xoNecole's Horoscopes section here.
Featured image by Laci Jordan for xoNecole
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As a writer who really pays attention to word meanings, something that can be a bit frustrating about our culture is the fact that based on whatever is popular at the time, folks will just up and change the original definitions of words to suit a particular agenda or whim — and the word “platonic” 1000 percent fits into this category. And perhaps that’s why we seem to continue to go in circles about whether or not people of the opposite sex can (and should) be friends and what that even can (and should) look like.
Let’s talk about it for a bit. Because as a word-literal type of individual, while again, I absolutely believe that men and women can be friends, at the same time, I think it’s about as rare as a red diamond to truly find yourself in a friendship that is…platonic.
It’s Time (More) Folks Knew What ‘Platonic’ LITERALLY Means
GiphySo, let's do first things first — let's define what it literally means for something to be platonic. If you go to your favorite search engine and put something along the lines of "What does platonic mean?", the first thing that you're (probably) going to see is a ton of dictionary definitions that say something along the lines of "of, relating to, or being a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex" (Merriam-Webster), "designating or of a relationship, or love, between a man and a woman that is purely spiritual or intellectual and without sexual activity" (Your Dictionary) and, my personal favorite, "purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, especially in a relationship between two persons of different sexes" (Dictionary). Yeah, bookmark that last one; I'll be circling back.
Keeping this in mind (and please do), where does the word "platonic" actually come from? From what I've researched, the philosopher Plato once penned something entitled "Symposium." In it, he addressed the topic of two people sharing the kind of love that is free of any type of sensual desire, one that is based on divine love alone. An author from the 1800s broke it down this way: "Platonic love meant ideal sympathy; it now means the love of a sentimental young gentleman for a woman he cannot or will not marry." A write-up on Merriam-Webster's site stated that "The term platonic was initially used to mock non-sexual relationships, as it was considered ridiculous to separate love and sex, but eventually this connotation faded away leaving us with today's notion of close friendships." Yeah, we used to live in a culture where love and sex were not separated. Hmph, that's another article for another time, though (check out "We Should Really Rethink The Term' Casual Sex'").
Anyway, as with many things (especially in our culture), the word "platonic" is kind of used in "broad strokes" these days (bromances, female friendships, etc.). However, because there continues to be this forever discussion — and oftentimes debate — about whether or not men and women can be "just friends," I'm going to tackle this topic strictly from that angle — from the place where platonic actually originated.
You ready?
Yes, Men and Women Can Be Just Friends. But…
GiphyAt this stage in my life, I'm pretty sure that I have more male friends than female ones. There are layers of reasons why, yet I think a huge one is because I like the balance that masculinity brings to my femininity (especially as I'm learning to embrace different aspects of my femininity, intentionally even more). And while every single one of my male friends is respectful and is a super safe space in my world on every single level that I can imagine (and have been for years now), there are probably only a couple who I would say 100 percent qualify as being…trulyplatonic.
Why would I say that? Well, I'll illustrate this point with something that one of my male friends once said to me. He's super cute. He can sing his ass off (and definitely has one of my favorite speaking voices). People see us out together often, and some have told us that they assume that we've had something going on at some point. Anyway, after hearing someone share their theory about us, I told it to him.
Me: "I told him, 'He's my brother. We would never mess around.'"
My Friend: "Correction, you are like a sister. You are not my sister, though. Under the right conditions, you could still get it."
When I shared that exchange with another male friend of mine, he basically cosigned on the sentiment: "Shellie, I have never approached you like that because I really respect you. I want to be good for you for the rest of our lives." (That reminds me: check out "Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?" when you get a chance.)
Then I went to one more guy homie and ran both statements by him: "Girl, yeah. If I didn't want to keep you in my life long-term, I would've tried to holla a long time ago!" And he and I have been friends for almost 20 years at this point. When did he get around to telling me this? Eh, maybe two years ago. LOL.
So, my takeaway from all of these "for real?!" exchanges is even though men and women can be just friends, there is a certain level of intention, self-control, and ability to see into the future (on some level) that must go into account — because, just because something more-than-friends-like may not have gone down, that doesn't mean there isn't a "dormant seed" lying around somewhere…whether it's one-sided or on both sides of the friendship dynamic.
As you can see, I just provided you with three instances where the male friends in my life; we've had nothing sexual or even physically intimate beyond a hug when we greet each other in nature — although things aren't exactly platonic if there is some sort of attraction or sexual/romantic curiosity that simply never got explored. Because again, according to Plato, a platonic relationship is free from all of that kind of…tension — or possibilities. Zero. Nada. Zilch.
And now you probably get why I entitled this article in the way that I did…right? I mean, just think about it — out of your male friendships, where is there NO sensual desire or dormant romantic interest…on your side and/or on his? If you're not sure about "his"…have you ever asked him? Or them? Because again, once I really let the definition of platonic sink in, I think maybe two guys in my life totally fit the bill.
This brings me to my next point.
Are You Platonic? Or Are You Friend-Zoning?
GiphyNow that you know that probably 70 percent of the people you know (both online and off) have been using the true meaning of platonic all the way wrong, let’s go about deeper: when it comes to your friendships with men, are they genuinely platonic or…is it more like you’re friend-zoning them?
A few years ago, I penned an article on the topic entitled, “Before You 'Friend Zone' Someone, Read This.” If you’re skimming this on your lunch break, I’ll summarize friend-zoning as knowing that a guy has so-much-more-than-platonic feelings for you, yet because you basically want to keep the benefits of the friendship or even his emotions around, you will string him along on some level.
Personally, I can’t stand friend-zoning. I think it’s selfish, with some sprinkles of manipulation and wasting someone’s time. Don’t agree? How would you feel if a guy was friend-zoning you? (Yeah…exactly.)
This all needs to go on record because, knowing that a guy wants to “take it there” with you (whether sexually or romantically), you not full-on addressing it and/or giving him just enough hope to take you out, listen to all of your stories about other men and give you the attention that you need knowing that he doesn’t have a shot in hell — that is NOT a platonic friendship and honestly, you’re not being a good friend at all. Friends protect each other’s hearts, not abuse them.
A platonic friendship means that you both have no interest in each other, and, as Plato put it, while you may have a strong and solid bond, it’s spiritual love that connects you. And what exactly does that mean? Spiritual love also deserves its own article, yet the gist would be that you recognize there is a purpose in your friendship, yet it’s about wanting what’s best for one another and even helping each other to get there.
For instance, a platonic friend of yours may know that you desire to be married one day, so he has no problem setting you up with a good guy in his life. And if things go well, he would have no problem standing up as your own best man (without feeling like he’s dying inside) because he never saw you beyond anything but a friend. A guy in the friend zone doesn’t move like this; he likes you too much to help you move on with someone else. See the difference?
Why Relationships Should Start Off As NON-PLATONIC Friendships
GiphyBefore I end this with some tips on how to properly care for the few platonic friendships you may actually have, since the use of the word may require a bit of mental reprogramming, I do think we should also address that if you've got a good guy in your life, who right now is a friend and either you've never thought of him in that way or the topic has never come up — he's someone that you may not want to brush off.
What I mean by that is, it's one thing for there to be absolutely no interest in someone vs. never considering it before — and the reason why you might want to give it some thought is because, ask any healthy married couple who's been together for more than five years and I'll bet you my next rent check that they will say that the best relationships are birthed out of friendship (check out "Are You Sure You're Actually FRIENDS With Your Spouse?").
Yeah, just because you've filed someone in the "I see him as a good guy" category, that doesn't automatically mean that y'all's friendship is platonic. For instance, I have a male friend who is fine and I adore on many levels, yet the reason why it would never work on my end is because there are certain relational standards that I have that he does not meet. However, don't get it twisted — I've considered him because, on so many levels, we "fit." So, the mere fact that I ever seriously thought about him on that level means that we are "good friends," yet it's not exactly platonic.
I'm not free of potential sensual desire…I just choose not to act on it. Yet because I get the value of having friendship as the foundation for my own future marriage (should life play out that way), I am wise enough to know that I would've been a fool to not at least…ponder him and the possibilities.
So yeah, if there is a male friend in your life that the thought of dating or having sex with him doesn't make you want to throw up in your mouth, there's a pretty good chance that it's not a classic platonic dynamic — and you might want to consider if it could/should go to the next level — if not immediately, eventually. Because there's a pretty good chance that if you are thinking that way, he probably is as well.
Protect Your Genuine Platonic Friendship(s) At All Costs
GiphyLet me end this with how one of my platonic friendships rolls. We both think that the other is attractive, yet neither of us is attracted. We both give each other opposite-sex insights. We both have said that the mere thought of dating each other makes our noses turn up like there’s an odor in the air. And even when I try to imagine us together, my mind goes blank. I love, love, LOVE this man — oh, but it is absolutely nothing more than platonic — and he feels the same way. It’s as close to familial love without being blood relationships. It’s a rare dynamic, and that is what makes it so special. There is definitely a spiritual type of love there; no more, no less.
If you’ve got someone in your life who you feel the same way about (again, it’s got to be mutual; he must feel that way, too), you’ve got a gem of a situation going on because there is nothing like having the kind of friendship where you and a guy can hang out, exchange perspectives and thoroughly enjoy each other’s company, knowing that’s all it is and will ever be. Things will never get weird. No one’s feelings are gonna get hurt (from the whole friend-zoning thing). You don’t have to walk on eggshells. You can just be.
And that’s why I’m all for platonic friendships. And listen, if you’re blessed enough to have even one in your lifetime, be fiercely protective of it. Don’t take it for granted. Nurture it in a way that your male friend needs (because it probably won’t be the exact same as your female friendships). Y’all, platonic friendships are so bomb because, if it’s honored and protected correctly, it’s the one male friend that you can probably keep for life because even your romantic partner will not find it to be a (true) threat — hell, they honestly could probably end up becoming (some level of) friends with your platonic homie as well.
______
I hope that I broke this all down enough to where, when you decide to use a word to describe your opposite-sex friendships, perhaps you will pause and ask yourself, “Wait, is this a platonic friend or a good or close friend?” Because the clearer you are on the differences, the easier it will be to know how to maintain your friendship — and feel about your friend. Feel me? Cool.
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