Nneka Julia Is Giving Women A Powerful Voice With Her New Podcast ‘The Layover’
The pathway to manifesting our ancestors' wildest dreams, is first led by becoming a living embodiment of their legacy. For storyteller, photographer, and podcast creator, Nneka Julia, it's the weight of three consciousness, "a Black American consciousness, a Nigerian consciousness, and a Cambodian consciousness," that when fused together, ignites the purpose and vision behind her work.
Being the child of immigrant parents, Nneka has been surrounded by examples of resilience that have informed every aspect of her creative pursuits. As a teen, Nneka and her family traveled to Cambodia, her mother's home country, to visit after the passing of her grandparents. It was on this trip that she'd pick up her camera for the first time, and everything would shift, "That trip really changed my life; it changed the trajectory of knowing what I was actually interested in doing. At that point in time, I knew what it meant to be able to capture my family on camera and memorialize them in that way."
Courtesy of Nneka Julia
Nneka discovered the art of audio storytelling through her father's cassette collection of motivational speakers and self-help gurus like Tony Robbins, Les Brown, and Zig Ziglar. In a fateful twist, she would find herself utilizing this same form of storytelling, on her very own roster of podcasts, Passing Through and The Layover. While listening, you'll spot the unique sonic experience the podcasts offer: it's immersive. It's poignant and captivating. It uproots you from whatever location you happen to find yourself in while listening and teleports you into exotic destinations and the memories that were made there.
The single-narrative podcast is filled with life lessons and tangible anecdotes that strip down the highly-curated nature of travel glamour shots, revealing the humanity in each story Nneka tells, "I think when we're online, it's easy to feel like everyone's life is so perfect and that we're alone. All this stuff is so much more important to me than the image; it's that you don't feel alone."
The mission that Nneka fulfills with her platform is necessary, especially at a time where a global pandemic has warped our sense of time and connection is hard to come by. Fortunately, this time has allowed Nneka to reset and share new stories in the upcoming fourth season of Passing Through, that reflect all of the life lessons and updates that have unfolded, "I'm very excited for the next season of Passing Through because it's going to cover quite a bit. I finally caught up with myself in terms of the stories, these are very recent things, this upcoming season is very present."
xoNecole: What was the inspiration behind starting your podcast, ‘Passing Through’?
Nneka Julia: It started as a way to archive my thoughts, feelings, and life lessons learned along the way from all the different people I've met and different places I've been. But now it's turned into this vehicle for people to understand that they're not alone in what they are going through.
I was tired of seeing the same things. When you see people curate and present an image of themselves that completely doesn't match what they're going through at the time, it can kind of warp your sense of worth. So how do I create a tribe in this digital space and how do I keep it real with myself while I'm doing it? We're all kind of archiving our lives online, but what if it was whipped out? What would I have to show my children? For me, legacy, become this ever-present idea and thought, and the things that I continue to go back to are written word and audio. I have to be able to create in this space not just for me, but for the people who come after me.
"For me, legacy, become this ever-present idea and thought, and the things that I continue to go back to are written word and audio. I have to be able to create in this space not just for me, but for the people who come after me."
Courtesy of Nneka Julia
Coming from a Nigerian-Cambodian background, how has your heritage and being born to immigrant parents informed your work?
It has informed every aspect of it. I try to live by the saying that "to whom much is given, much is required," because my parents have given me so much. Not just to their children but to their community, and there's never been this ask for recognition or reward. For me, it's like I have their bones, but I'm wearing my flesh. That's really what it feels like. I owe it to them to carry us to the next level, tell their story to the world, and carry the legacy of our family.
Why is it important for you to share your space for others’ stories to be told on your secondary podcast, ‘The Layover’?
It was totally a byproduct of the live show we did for Passing Through in 2019. Now that I think about it, it was pretty wild to do: we were eight months into the podcast, people didn't know what the show was going to be, I could have Fyre Festival'd the whole thing. But it sold out at this great spot in Manhattan. I invited six black women to share their stories on stage, and it felt like church. I knew with the live show I didn't want to center myself, why not give other Black women a chance to share their stories?
For me, I've been to different storytelling shows and they've all been extremely white spaces, where the storytellers felt like they had to make people laugh and crack a joke. And I hated that. So I wanted to do away with that; I wanted people to feel like they could cry on stage, and feel whatever the story made them feel. Seeing that live with Passing Through, I thought we could do that on a week-to-week basis with The Layover, where people aren't scared to be vulnerable, cry, crack jokes, and run the full spectrum of who we are as Black women and WOC.
How has your work evolved since embodying photography to where you are now in the space of written and audio storytelling?
I didn't realize that my creativity wasn't medium-specific, I didn't realize my creativity could come out in writing, it could come out in audio, photos, and multiple different ways; when I started off, I thought photography was it. As time went on and I started to travel more for pleasure and for work, I started to meet so many people and there are worlds within those people. You're not just meeting a driver in Bali, you're talking about his mother and his daughter, and where he's from, and what his dreams are. Those things stay with you and it affects you. And I felt like photography, yes it was wonderful but if pictures are worth a thousand words, then how much are words worth?
Courtesy of Nneka Julia
"If pictures are worth a thousand words, then how much are words worth?"
With travel being such an intricate part of the work you do and stories you tell, what have you learned from this season of stillness?
It's been a lot. I've never shied away from myself or solitude. So I can't say that this time has been incredibly difficult. Thankfully, this time has been a reset period. Before it used to be just "hustle, hustle, hustle," but now, we're living in strange times, so it's like you have to listen to yourself. Finding a comfortable routine has helped, but also finding solace that you're going to want to break those habits sometimes but you can always get back on the horse. Be graceful with yourself, but be targeted with hitting the small things like taking a walk, writing 50 words, reading two pages - those are my goals. And if I hit it, it's a success, if I go over, it's even more of a success. The atomic things add up, they all compound.
Although the future is so uncertain right now, what does the next frontier for you look like?
For me, the next step (at least in my career) would be adapting these stories into larger-than-life works. Something that speaks to more than just Instagram, something that engages all the senses. I absolutely love audio and written work, but film is all of both of things in one. So I'd love to and am planning to branch off into film, with the ultimate goal to tell my parents' story at scale as well. Communities are niching down. Anytime we go super digital, there's always the antithesis which is analog. With my future work, I want to go analog, so people are able to touch something, feel something, and have something.
For more of Nneka Julia, follow her on Instagram and check out her podcast, Passing Through.
Featured image courtesy of Nneka Julia
Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
From Dinnerware To Color Palette: How To Curate Your Dream Thanksgiving Table
Food is the star of the show for Thanksgiving, but let’s be honest: dinner wouldn’t be anything special without a good tablescape. Decor is a significant part of the holiday season! Garlands, pumpkins, candles, and other decor can take your Thanksgiving spread from bland to brilliant! However, we understand the stress of making a whole feast for family and friends.
We sat down with Beth Smith of Beth Diana Smith Interior Designs to learn how to create the perfect tablescape for any dinner party.
Set the Tone With Dinnerware
Carolyn Ann Ryan/Getty Images
“Focus on the meal you’re serving and make your dinnerware set the tone and be the highlight of the table,” says Smith. The dinner is why your community is coming together and is arguably the most crucial centerpiece. Decorative pieces are nice, but food and what we use to eat can make it much more special. Smith suggests, “I recommend the Nguka dinnerware set from 54kibo, which is stunning, unique, and beautifully made.”
If you’re looking for a more affordable option, The Stoke Collection by ceramic artists Althea’s Meade-Hajduk is intentionally created to visually enhance any meal experience.
Have Fun With Your Color Palette
Maria Korneeva/Getty Images
In the world of nude palette overload, it’s nice to see color occasionally. Color is a natural mood booster that can bring excitement to the room - or table! “Create a thoughtful color palette that is not the standard Thanksgiving palette of fall colors,” says Smith. Having fun with colors and moving away from a traditional setting can bring uniqueness to your tablescape.
There’s also no chance of your tablescape having the same color palette as everyone else on social media. Smith adds, “If pink has grabbed your attention, this dusty pink set from Our Place has different plate and bowl size options.”
Incorporate Florals Through Bud Vases or Bouquets
Spiderplay/Getty Images
Who doesn’t love florals? This look is accepted year-round, not just when romance is involved. “You can’t go wrong with florals for a tablescape if you’re setting it for your family, friends, or a group of singles,” says Smith. Florals are an easy way to make any event look elevated without having to try as hard. If you’re worried about hypoallergenic guests, you can purchase artificial flowers from Amazon. Here, you can find various floral options and even create your own bouquet.
“A floral tablescape can be budget-friendly or as extravagant as you may like. You can select a few bud vases and strategically place them around the table using a bouquet you bought locally,” says Smith.
Unsure of who is your local florist? Black Girl Florist is a site that helps you source local florists in your area. Click here to find a florist in your neighborhood! And if your budget is a little tighter than usual due to the holidays, Smith has a solution that will save you money altogether. Smith suggests, “You can also use dried-up branches and leaves from your backyard, which would be free.”
Elevate Your Tablescape With a Charcuterie Board
JMichl/Getty Images
Charcuterie boards have become all the rage on TikTok, and for good reason. Mixing your favorite meats, cheese, and grapes has made snacking visually tasteful. Smith says they can also create a fabulous tablescape - killing two birds with one stone. Smith says, “You can never go wrong with creating one large charcuterie board. This makes food the decoration interesting, colorful, and delicious!” This could be especially great for Friendsgiving, and you want to avoid cooking a turkey twice.
The beauty of charcuterie boards is creating a food palette unique to you or your guest's needs. On the flip side, we also understand how overwhelming it can be to decide precisely what to put on your board. Smith has a few recommendations that can be helpful, “You can include cheeses, crackers, and meats, but you can also add specialty items like deserts, chocolate, and truffle mustard.”
Smith refers to the Truffle Mustard by Truffiest, an award-deserving mustard infused with summer truffles from northern Italy. This mustard can be paired with crackers, cheeses, meats, and shredded turkey if you want to stay on the theme.
Build on an Artsy Vibe and Add Layers
Liliboas/Getty Images
There’s no shame in bringing it back to basics. Bring out the old tablecloth your family member gave you a few years ago; it’s vintage! “The goal is to make the table look and feel like you have everything you need and more,” Smith says. Everything you need and more can consist of four main ingredients: tablecloth, napkins, cups, and, most importantly - wine glasses. “Make the tablescape feel artistic with funky dinner napkins and tablecloths. Then, layer with oversized plates, long-stemmed wine glasses, and after-dinner cups.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Goodboy Picture Company/Getty Images