New Music Friday: Here's Your Weekend Playlist
Despite 2020, and the beginning of 2021, being the endless dumpster fire that it was, we have to admit one thing: it did a hell of a thing for one's creativity. With all the time in the world to be stuck at home, musicians put paper to pen, voices to mics, and now we can reap the benefits of its creative wonders. Kicking the summer off right, artists have released new music to fit all of your sunny adventures.
Whether you're looking for a song to bring in the morning ("Formwela 4"), revive your day ("Tonight Tonight"), or one to close out the night ("Thot Shit"), this week's new releases are sure to keep you moving:
1.H.E.R - "We Made It"
If anyone is said to be having fantastic 2021, it has to be her—excuse me, H.E.R. Between the Grammys and the Academy awards, H.E.R. has been coming out with one bop after the next. "We Made It" naturally has H.E.R. spend some time basking in that glory. While it is possibly a love song that H.E.R smoothly sings to lover, I like to think of it as something that she sings to close friend, or family member. She has spent sleepless nights working and slaving for this career she has created. Along the way, the people who loved her have been her confidants and support. Now that she has made it, she wants them to know that she couldn't have done it without them.
2.Megan Thee Stallion - "Thot Shit"
Straight out of the rejuvenation pod, and almost college, is Meg on her "Thot Shit." Similar to her lively singles before, "Thot Shit" requires open space, good knees, and the ability to move your hips. With a fast triplet flow, Megan Thee Stallion raps about embracing and feeling herself, while telling those who don't "f" off with all disrespect. With over 8 million views on YouTube, "Thot Shit" came out just in time for the hot girls to return to the summer's dance floor.
3.Amindi - "Haircut"
Come on, I have that moment. You have that moment. Oh, you know the moment when you just got hair done and your feeling yourself. Whether it's braids, locs, wigs, perms, or just a simple "Haircut," you start to look at yourself with a new glow and whimsy. Amindi is no different. Just getting a haircut with a "fade down to the sides," Amindi sings laxly with a lullaby-like ease. Feeling self-confident, Amindi openly loves herself. So much so, that she takes herself on a date and offers the treatment she hopes others would offer her. Nevertheless, instead of doing so mournfully, she seems just happy enjoying her own company.
4.Celeste - "Tonight Tonight"
Celeste. Celeste. Celeste. You've done it, again and then some. If you don't know who this artist is, it's about time you do. After the sultry ballad "Strange"received recognition on Apple's Ted Lasso, Celeste is back with a new single from the album Not Your Muse. Unlike "Strange," "Tonight Tonight" is a wonderful sultry track that feels like a delightful groove from the past. Although, that does not negate the new age spin that Celeste has added to her repertoire. Tell Alexa to play "Tonight Tonight" and sway those hips.
5.Jon Batiste - "Freedom"
This song makes me want to slide throughout my living room in a shimmy, funk fashion. It makes me want to shake, wobble, and hop around erratically despite those watching. Maybe it's because Jon Batiste is sporadically and happily dancing around the city. Maybe it's because it is nice to see a Black man enjoying himself while singing about feeling of being carefree with oneself. Maybe it's because the song feels like freedom. Whatever it is, it's simply delightful and a must to add to the beginning, middle, and end of your summer playlist.
6.Ivy Sole - "Dangerous"
Aside from Tierra Whack and Chika, there hasn't been anyone more slept on than Ivy Sole. Here with her single "Dangerous," Sole raps and sings with the flow and realizations of a 90's poet. With melancholy lyrics, "Don't have to love me back/You know that I'm dangerous/Lord knows, I'd do me bad," Ivy Sole discusses the process of "embracing the shadows" while internalizing "a deep acceptance of [her] wholeness as modeled through the radical love and care [she] received from [her] community of Black revolutionaries, Black queer people, and Black healers." The song features R&B/Soul artist Kingsley Ibeneche.
7.Esperanza Spalding - "Formwela 4"
Created in her Songwrights Apothecary Lab, an experimental space that seeks exploration of music and musicianship as means of healing, Esperanza Spalding and Corey King release their newest single, "Formwela 4." When asked about her inspiration for the song, Esperanza says that the song is meant "to remind listeners that loving and self-giving are not individual undertakings; that even in the most intimate circumstances, ancestors and earth's support forces are in attendance, for the honoring of their beauty via the truth of how you really are, and what you really need." The song is nearly five minutes of pure musical healing. With the gentle picking of King's guitar, rustling of the wind and leaves, and Spalding and Kings soulful voices, close your eyes as you enjoy the warm summer sun against your skin.
8.Diana Ross - "Thank You"
Just a couple of days ago, Diana Ross announced that she would be releasing her first single in 15 years, titled "Thank You." With just an eight-second sample, "Thank You" seems like another summer bop to add to the playlist. With the hopeful lyrics, playful piano, and air-like vocals, Diana's Ross's single "Thank You" is a great song to play on your road trip with the ones you love.
9.Polo G & Nicki Minaj - "For the Love of New York"
It is highly unlikely that Polo G and Nicki Minaj's "For the Love of New York" will be the song of the summer or overplayed in the clubs. Though, this is not a knack on what the song is, but of what it is not. Despite being used to the club anthems by the two, this song flows on top of a Caribbean island-like beat that allows for relaxation and appreciation that a club song would not. Nevertheless, the song is not as calming as one would think, well into the song, it is quickly noticed that Polo G is like just any other guy out there. Aware that he is messing with someone's emotions, he seems incapable of stopping himself from making "heartless" mistakes. Which only forces Minaj to experience the consequences of those decisions when she is left broken and alone.
10.Amber Mark - "Competition"
The video: art.
The artist: under-appreciated.
Amber Marks has arrived with her newest single "Competition." "Competition" talks about Mark's desire to put the people that she cares about on the map. Instead of seeing them as competition, she sees them as allies, people who she is willing to help, if only they are willing to accept it. Whether she is singing that it is not a competition because she believes that they can succeed together, or that she is in a league of her own, "Competition" is a song that requires every bit of your attention. It's catchy. It's a vibe and its visual is just so damn nice to look at. This might not be a competition, but if it had been, Marks definitely has her eyes on the grand prize.
Featured image via Giphy
Taysha Robinson is a writer and high school English teacher, based in metro-Atlanta. A self described philomath, you can find her reading books and articles of every genre, attending educational conferences, and hiking wherever the terrain will allow.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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A Therapist Breaks Down The Internet's Fixation On The Black Cat-Golden Retriever Dynamic
In the realm of love and relationships, there's a growing interest in the idea of opposites attracting. This concept is gaining traction on platforms like TikTok, where users explore how different personality types interact in romantic partnerships. One popular comparison is between the "golden retriever" and "black cat" archetypes.
According to Urban Dictionary, the golden retriever, typically portrayed by men, embodies a relaxed and friendly demeanor, making relationship maintenance seem effortless. These individuals are described as easygoing, patient, loyal, socially adept, and optimistic. On TikTok, many women are intrigued by the prospect of finding partners with these qualities.
In contrast, the black cat, often represented by women, leans towards introversion and independence. They're mysterious, quiet, and introspective, preferring to be pursued rather than doing "the chasing" in relationships.
@annakrstna Replying to @BeckyAmi part II coming soon❤️ #femmefatale #blackcat #blackcatenergy #dating #marriage #datingadvice #princesstreatment #feminine #feminineenergy #relationship #sprinklesprinkle #celebrity #femininenergy #love
This dichotomy reflects the anxious-avoidant attachment dynamics in psychology (pursuer-distancer cycle), where one partner seeks closeness (golden retriever) while the other values autonomy (black cat).
The Black Cat Golden Retriever Archetypes & Attachment Styles
Attachment theory suggests that early caregiving experiences shape our attachment styles, influencing how we relate to others. Anxious individuals seek reassurance, while avoidant individuals prioritize independence. However, not every instance of the black cat/golden retriever dynamic indicates underlying insecurities. Individuals can embody these personas without necessarily being insecure or exhibiting unhealthy attachment patterns.
For instance, a golden retriever's desire for closeness may come from a secure attachment style, rooted in self-worth and trust in others. Conversely, a black cat's preference for autonomy doesn't always indicate avoidance; they may simply value their independence, and it's relatively easy for them to connect and disconnect when needed. Understanding these dynamics requires personalized individual/couples assessment, ideally with a licensed therapist.
The Black Cat Golden Retriever Roles in Relationship Success
A prevailing notion in this discussion that's sparked a lot of conversation is the idea that when a woman takes on the role of the golden retriever in a relationship with a black cat partner, the dynamic is more likely to fail. (I've experienced this firsthand, even in my own past relationships, and I've seen it play out in my own life.) Conversely, when the roles are reversed, the relationship tends to thrive. But why does this happen?
Historically, men have been socialized to take on the role of the pursuer, while women are expected to be more passive recipients of romantic advances. From a biological standpoint, some researchers argue that evolutionary instincts may play a role in shaping mating behaviors. Evolutionary psychology suggests that men may be inclined to pursue potential mates to maximize their reproductive success. This perspective suggests that men may have evolved to seek out partners and compete for their attention and affection.
@annakrstna Replying to @Tina Kaur #love #dreamgirl #beauty #relationship #dating #datingadvice #femmefatale #feminineenergy #desire #obsession #darkpsychology #sprinklesprinkle #femininity #psychology #selflove
Additionally, societal expectations and cultural norms can heavily influence gender roles and relationship dynamics. From a young age, boys may be socialized to take initiative, assert themselves, and pursue their romantic interests actively. On the other hand, girls may be encouraged to adopt more passive roles, waiting for suitors to express interest or make romantic gestures.
As much as there's a lot of conversation about gendered expectations and societal norms, it's crucial to recognize that these expectations aren't universally applicable. Not all individuals adhere to traditional gender norms, and people express a wide array of behaviors and preferences in romantic relationships. Research indicates that attitudes towards pursuit and courtship have evolved over time and differ across cultures.
In today's society, there's a growing recognition of the significance of mutual consent, communication, and reciprocity in romantic relationships. Many individuals, irrespective of gender, prioritize egalitarian principles and seek partnerships founded on mutual respect, understanding, and collaborative decision-making.
The Black Cat & The Problem With 'Acting' Secure in Dating
Delving deeper, there's a growing conversation surrounding the distinction between acting secure and authentically embodying security in relationships. True security stems from a deep-rooted sense of self-assurance and a healthy understanding of one's needs and boundaries. Secure individuals don't feel compelled to mask their vulnerabilities or play games to attract a partner; they attract healthy relationships by being genuine and self-assured.
Contrastingly, attempting to mimic secure behavior without addressing underlying insecurities can lead to relational pitfalls. Pretending to be nonchalant or aloof may initially attract a partner, but it ultimately creates a façade that crumbles under the weight of emotional triggers and unresolved attachment wounds.
Authenticity and vulnerability form the bedrock of secure relationships, fostering trust and mutual understanding.
Most importantly, whether you identify as a black cat or a golden retriever in relationships, it's best to find someone who genuinely loves you for who you are. Connect with people who appreciate you instead of engaging in games or "acting secure," because even secure individuals have vulnerabilities and weaknesses. People need to see the real you to truly connect with you.
Transitioning from acting secure to being secure requires introspection and self-awareness. Here are some tangible tips to cultivate genuine security in relationships:
1. Reframe Your Beliefs About Love and Relationships:
Challenge any negative beliefs or misconceptions you may hold about love and relationships. Recognize that healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and compatibility, rather than scarcity or desperation.
Cultivate a mindset of abundance, believing that there are plenty of opportunities for meaningful connections and fulfilling partnerships; you just have to be the person you want to attract and refrain from entertaining anything less.
2. Develop Self-Confidence:
Invest in building your self-confidence and self-worth independent of external validation or romantic relationships. Foster a sense of independence and autonomy in your life. Develop interests, goals, and aspirations that are separate from your romantic relationships, and invest in your personal growth and development. Engage in activities and hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment, and don’t abandon those hobbies just because you met someone new or you’re in a new relationship.
3. Set Realistic Expectations:
Avoid placing unrealistic expectations on yourself or your partner in relationships. Recognize that no relationship is perfect, and both partners will inevitably experience challenges and setbacks. Instead of striving for perfection, focus on building a strong foundation of mutual respect, understanding, and communication. Embrace the ups and downs of relationships as opportunities for growth and learning.
4. Emotional Regulation:
Develop healthy coping mechanisms for managing emotions and navigating conflict constructively. Prioritize self-care and cultivate resilience in the face of challenges.
5. Practice Patience and Acceptance:
Understand that finding a compatible partner and building a fulfilling relationship takes time and patience. Avoid rushing into relationships out of desperation or fear of being alone. Trust in the process and have faith that the right person will come into your life at the right time. Practice acceptance of yourself and others, recognizing that everyone has their own journey and timeline when it comes to love and relationships.
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Featured image by Amber N Ford/Getty Images