7 Networking Events That Should Be On Your Radar In 2020
We all started 2020 ready to step on necks and let the entire decade know who's boss. But it's also safe to say we can't do it alone.
I've been working from home for a little more than a year now, and it took months before I realized still being in my robe with my hair wrapped when my husband came home from work was not OK. I needed to find a way to link up with other like-minded women, whether it was just to bond over our femininity or just get out there and network.
Fortunately, tons of sheroes (and heroes) are on the same page and offer conferences and events for women to level up, learn, and glow up this year. You seriously need to save the date for these.
Pajamas & Lipstick
xoNecole/Pajamas & Lipstick
This is the ultimate gathering of all things #girlpower. I can personally attest to the power of this event. With super raw conversations and girl talk that has a "What happens at Pajamas & Lipstick stays at Pajamas & Lipsticks" vibe, this event is a must for your travel plans. Fortunately, this year it's set to expand to a three-city tour, making its first stop in Atlanta on March 20. If you're attending solo, you definitely won't feel that way once you arrive. If you're bringing your girl tribe, Pajamas & Lipstick will bring you even closer as you link up with women who will inspire you to become your best self.
CultureCon
CultureCon
CultureCon and The Creative Collective is the brainchild of Imani Ellis and will be taking over ATL on May 16 and NYC on Oct. 10. There, you'll rub elbows and shoulders with nearly 3,000 fellow creatives and leave super inspired to say the least. Tracee Ellis Ross, Regina King, Spike Lee, and John Legend are a handful of the influential superstars who have graced the stage for the conference in the past. From a small business market featuring Black-owned businesses to a job fair, Forbes has called CultureCon an event "every creative should attend."
BYOB – May 22-24 – Miami, FL
BYOB
The catchy name isn't the only thing that will spark your creativity. BYOB (Build Your Own Brand) was launched to not only give you the tools to establish and grow your ventures in the best way, but it also encourages quite a bit of self-care indulgence (anyone who's built their brand knows that self-care is a must). Taking place in Miami on Memorial Day Weekend, this year's speakers and guests are notable entrepreneurs, CEOs, digital creators, music artists, and more to be announced.
#BlogHer20: Parenting – April 24 – Nashville
#BlogHer20
It's not every year you come across a conference for moms in the media. That's exactly who #BlogHer20 will be for this year. For the first time in the history of the conference, more than 300 women are slated to join forces to give and receive tips for the mommy curators, or those with a family-friendly target audience (attendees will also learn how to make money with their blogs, which never hurts).
GirlBoss Rally – April 25 – Los Angeles
GirlBoss Rally
This one-day workshop is for the entrepreneur, working female, and the woman who's on the journey of finding herself through it all. If you have questions about money, your career, or life topics like managing stress and avoiding burnout, GirlBoss has something for anyone who wants to take control of their life. The event features three different types of experiences: The Explorer, The Leader, and The Founder, and I'm convinced all three of them will be a-mazing.
The Great Girlfriends Conference – June 12-14 – NYC
The Great Girlfriends Conference
We all need at least one close girlfriend! Whether you go to the Doers & Disrupters Conference on the hunt for a new group of girlfriends or bring your awesome ones with you, you won't be disappointed with what this one has to offer (from the workshops and panels to the refreshing dance breaks). Ultimately, this was created for you to find your sweet spot in your friendships and relationships, careers, businesses, and more.
AfroTech – Nov. 12 -14 – Oakland, CA
It's never too early to claim your spot for AfroTech. If you're an engineer, venture capitalist, recruiter, technologist or a tech novice, AfroTech should certainly be on your to-do list. You'll be able to bond with people of color in the tech industry and trade unique ideas. With more than 10,000 attendees on the regular, it's one of the largest tech gatherings in the country.
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Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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In The Bedroom, Kelly Rowland Is A Self-Professed 'Sensualist.' That's Sexy AF
As a professional writer, I actually got my start in the entertainment industry. Between that and being somewhat of a music industry child as well (kind of a long story), I learned a long time ago not to get up in the hype of celebrity culture or to fall victim to celebrity worship. That’s why, I am very intentional about not speaking on famous people as if I know them. Whenever I do speak on them, I prefer to use what they’ve said or something that was actual news as a teachable moment — for the most part, no more, no less.
So, when it comes to Kelly Rowland, specifically, I don’t know her and won’t speak on her as if I do. What I will say is based on how she moves and interviews that I’ve caught her in, I appreciate her — and her marriage — on a few levels.
I Turn My Camera On with Lance Gross | Kelly Rowland | L/Studio created be Lexuswww.youtube.com
As a marriage life coach for close to 20 years at this point, I find her relationship with her husband, Tim Witherspoon, to be… “refreshing” is the word that comes to mind. I think that’s why I took extra special note when she said in a fairly recent interview that she considers herself, sexually, to be a sensualist. Since I deal with bedroom issues quite a bit with couples, I like how she broke the word down. I also thought that by sharing it with y’all, it might help some of you figure out how to get more of what you want from your own partner…since you might actually be a sensualist, too. Whether you know it or…not (yet).
What Is a Sensualist? Across the Board.
Talk that talk, sis. Okay, so you heard Kelly’s definition of a sensualist. That said, if you’ve ever read even a few of my pieces before, you know that I like to unpack layers of things — because most things have them. A sensualist. What Kelly said, on many levels, is right on the mark. However, let’s go a bit deeper.
By (dictionary) definition, a sensualist is someone who really enjoys pleasure and typically uses all of their senses in order to experience it. When it comes to intimacy, sensuality is a part of the reason why I write articles like “Are You Ready To Apply Your Love Language To Your Sex Life?” because if there is one act where, if you bring in sight, touch, hearing, smell and taste into the dynamic, you’re almost guaranteed that it’s not going to disappoint, it’s coitus.
Still, in order to understand what it means to be a sensualist in a sexual way, I think it’s super important to explain that it applies to your being, even before you step into the bedroom.
For instance, while reading a blog post entitled “The Hard Work of Being a Sensualist,” I really appreciated how the author said that a main mantra for true sensualists is to “live in the moment” and that you must be willing to put in the intentionality and effort to figure out who you are and what you like — and that requires a continuous level of curiosity and exploration.
Why is that so essential when it comes to sex? Because, unfortunately, we live in a culture where a lot of people think that someone is automatically “bad in bed” if they don’t know how to satisfy their partner when, the irony to all of that is, you can’t expect someone to “get you there” when you don’t even know what your foundational and innermost sexual needs are. Honestly, that’s a big part of the reason why I’m such a fan of things like sex journaling (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”) and vaginal mapping (check out “Why 'Vaginal Mapping' Needs To Be Part Of Your Healing Journey”), it’s because they are practices that encourage you to become a sex student of your own self.
And here’s the thing: when you learn to slow down, be more gracious, and remain open to figuring out all of what makes you sexually tick, it causes you to extend that same kind of energy to your partner, which makes the experience so much richer — and more real. This is how a sensualist thinks.
Oh, and the “living in the moment” part? That is simply all about being present. You’re not worrying about the past (which means that, sexually, you aren’t comparing your current partner to anyone else — eh hem), nor are you preoccupied with or obsessing over the future — and that includes not worrying about if you’re gonna orgasm or not because yes, technically, even 10 minutes from now is the future. Being present is simply taking every moment that you are in IN and letting things flow naturally. This, too, is the mind of a sensualist.
And what makes it easier to be this type of individual? Kelly covered it. When it comes to sex, begin by cultivating the type of atmosphere where all of your senses are in a state of tranquility so that you’re not stressing, overthinking, or lacking self-sexual confidence (check out “10 Sensuous Ways To Boost Your Sexual Self-Esteem” and “These 10 Hacks Will Help You Love Your Body More”).
This means asking yourself, “When it comes to sex, what do I like to look at? How do I prefer to be touched? What sounds do I like to hear, and how do I want to be spoken to? What scents arouse me? Do I like sexual condiments like honey, whipped cream, and fudge, or do I prefer the taste of my partner?” True sensualists make the time to ask themselves these things, figure out the answers, and then convey them to their partner. Know what else? They also make the time to ask their partner what would turn them into a sensualist as well because, remember, sensualists are curious…sensualists explore.
Now that you know what comes with being a sensualist, do you get why Kelly said that she is able to fully surrender during the act of sex because she’s a sensualist? Honestly, it speaks more to who she is as a woman than what is happening outside of her. She knows who she is, and what brings her pleasure, and she’s able to articulate that so that her sexual needs can be fully met. Excellent.
5 Ways That You Can Become a (Better) Sensualist
GiphySo, what if you’re new to the whole sensualist thing, and you’d like to get to the point and place where you can confidently profess that you actually are one? If that is indeed the case... here are five tips.
1. Learn the difference between sensual and sexy. Sexy is about something or one being sexually exciting. Being sensual is about pleasing the senses. It’s important to keep this point in mind because, even on the days when you might not feel your sexiest (or your partner might not appear his sexiest), you can still be sensual. There are always things that a sensualist can do to get into the mood — because more than just sight is involved when it comes to them. That’s a part of what makes them so dope.
2. Have “sex meetings” with your partner. Y’all be all up in your bed talking about bills and work (I really wish y’all would stop doing that, too; bedrooms should be for sex and sleep only). Why not pillow talk about sex instead? Google articles on sex and (verbally) share them with your partner. Talk about something that you recently discovered turns you on. Express what you’d like to explore more, sexually, together. A lot of us have heard that sex is the ultimate form of communication. The interesting thing about that is when it comes to their partner, so few people clearly and concisely discuss sex with them.
3. Be okay with planning sex sometimes. I promise you, I don’t get why so many folks frown on sex that’s on a schedule. Life is not a soap opera, and planning simply means that you are prioritizing. And when you prioritize, you can create the setting that you want to get all five of your senses going. You know, just recently, someone reminded me of an article that I wrote for the platform a while back entitled, “What Is 'Comfy Sex'? How Can You Get More Of It?” Yeah, to get all of what you need, sometimes you’ve got to put some forethought and execution into it. Like they say, “If you build it, they will come” — or y’all will cum (in this instance).
4. Choose to not take the joy and delight out of sex. Is this a “wild card” tip? Eh. Perhaps. It’s still relevant, though, because pleasure is defined by “joy” and “delight” and honestly, a lot of people have a ho-hum sex life because they go into it without a sense of humor, without emotionally connecting to their partner, without wanting to simply CHILL OUT to see how things go. If you’re inflexible (I mean mentally), if you’re tense, if you only have one end goal in mind all of the time (orgasm) — true sexual pleasure is going to be quite difficult for you.
5. Learn how to “be present,” in general. You can’t be all over the place in every other facet of your world and then up and think that you can be present in the bedroom on a whim. Being in the moment requires doing so all of the time. This means that you should be open to meditation, reducing screen time, deep breathing, being gentle with yourself (and others), and making peace that if you did your best, in the moment, that’s all you can do; let the chips fall where they may, chile.
See? When you take a moment to take it all in, being a sensualist is more than just a notion, and Kelly said more than just a mouthful. If you want to become a master of it in the bedroom, become a student of it in life.
So…are you a sensualist or not?
If not, when it comes to sex, imagine all of the possibilities, if you were.
Lawd…LAWD.
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Featured image by Don Arnold/WireImage