Your Monthly Horoscopes: August 2019
Happy August, babes! We've finally closed out that wild ass eclipse season and Mercury retrograde madness just in time to end our hot girl summer on a high note.
Most of the action this month takes place in magnanimous Leo before we transition into ambitious Virgo motivating us to finish out the Summer strong so we can reap the blessings of the harvest season this Fall. Check out your monthly horoscope below to see what awesomeness August has in store for you!
Aries and Aries Rising
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The cosmos is showering you with blessings this month as Jupiter, the benevolent, goes direct on the 11th opening up new opportunities for you that allow you to flex your innate leadership qualities. You may be playing the role of teacher, mentor, or guru to people near and far and this transit could even bring you the gift of adding a new stamp to your passport. Mercury moves into Leo on the same day, making your communication even more feisty than usual. When it comes to romance and dating, be mindful of your aggression which may be better suited for a high intensity workout that could definitely take place behind closed doors.
Your creativity is at a peak this month and you're likely to attract tons of attention for simply expressing the greatness of who you are.
Uranus goes retro on the 11th as well, giving you the chance to review some of your long-term financial goals and to revise accordingly. This transit will help you figure out how to make money by doing more of what you love and value. On the 15th, the Full Moon illuminates your friend circle and social networks. This can result in the dissolution of certain bonds that give you the freedom to connect with new people that are more in alignment with your vision. Virgo moves into Mars on the 18th and you're feeling motivated to whip your body into shape. By the end of the month, the Sun, Mercury and New Moon in Virgo are setting you up for some much-needed changes in your daily routines that are more beneficial for your mental and physical well-being.
Taurus and Taurus Rising
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The month begins with Jupiter ushering in the blessings when it comes to your finances. You've got the potential to strike gold with some back taxes, a credit boost, or even just some extra support from a benefactor. On the 11th, Mercury moves into Leo, making you the center of attention amongst your household. Be mindful of stirring up drama amongst your family at this time and use your influence to uplift your loved ones instead. Uranus begins its retrograde in your sign and the next several months is taking you through a deep, inner metamorphosis regarding your personal values. It's time to free yourself from any limited conceptions of who you've known yourself to be until now. On the 15th, the Full Moon brings some good news regarding your career achievements. If you're feeling unfulfilled within your current job, you may decide to call it quits in pursuit of something more meaningful. Mars moves into Virgo on the 18th, helping you to buckle down on those creative projects.
Push past those dreaded perfectionist tendencies and give yourself a chance to really express yourself. Your voice, and art, matters but it's up to you to validate it!
When it comes to love, you may be feeling more pressured to get serious and with Venus moving into Virgo on the 21st, you've got the potential to attract exactly what you want. The Sun moves into your sister sign on the 23rd, giving you a boost of energy and the clarity needed to break through any creative blocks you've been experiencing. With Mercury moving into this same part of your chart on the 29th, spending a little extra time with your munchkins is important. If you're interested in starting a family, this is a great time to talk with your OBGYN to get you on a fertility plan for a healthy, successful pregnancy. The New Moon in Virgo on the 30th can be a potent time to plant the seed (if you know what I mean). Even if the idea of children makes you gag, this lunation invites you to get in touch with your own inner child. Loosen up and have some fun! Life doesn't always have to be so serious.
Gemini and Gemini Rising
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Jupiter, the benevolent, is coming through with the blessings when he goes direct on the 11th, bringing you good fortune in your relationships, whether it be a significant romantic connection or key business partnerships. Do I hear wedding bells? Mercury moves into Leo the same day and you're making quite the impression on your social media platforms and with your gift of gab. Give me drama, dahling (not the Love & Hip-Hop kind but more so the Broadway kind of flair). Uranus goes retro on the 11th as well, giving you the chance to do the inner work that will liberate you from karmic contracts that impede on your flow of wealth. It's time to clean up your subconscious money programming, my love. On the 15th, the Full Moon in Aquarius places you in the spotlight as a teacher or guru of some sort.
Stay humble and keep in mind that with great power comes great responsibility.
On the 18th, Mars moves into Virgo, motivating you to get organized in your home. With Venus following closely behind on the 21st, you and bae will prefer the comfort of your sanctuary versus being out and about. This could also be a time of discussing family planning for those of you ready to take that step. The Sun moving into Virgo on the 23rd has you hyper-focused on your family. Avoid being overly critical of your loved ones, Gemmie. We all have our imperfections—even you. As Mercury moves into Virgo on the 29th, you've got the opportunity to create more healthy bonds amongst your family and the New Moon on the 30th marks a much-needed fresh start when it comes to the way you relate to them. Some of you could even find yourselves shacking up with your significant other or relocating around this time due to an expansion of your family.
Cancer and Cancer Rising
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You finally made it through that hectic eclipse season. Your birthday season likely brought a lot of twists and turns along with your celebration of another year of life. If you feel like you got the short end of the stick last month, Jupiter is here to make up for it when it comes to your health, daily work, and routines. Your schedule should be smoothing out a lot more with this benevolent planet going direct. Some of you may be in for some amazing new work opportunities, or an adjustment in your current routine, that will benefit your overall well-being. Mercury moves into Leo on the 11th as well and you're extremely dynamic when it comes to bringing in the cash. Don't be afraid to strut your stuff! Uranus goes retrograde on the same day, giving you a chance to reevaluate your long-term goals. Are they truly in alignment with what you love and value?
On the 15th, the Full Moon helps you break through psychological trauma or intimacy issues that get in your way of feeling connected to the collective.
Mars moves into Virgo on the 18th, motivating you to connect with your sibling(s), friends, and local community. Acts of service are favored during this time. In what ways can you give back to these groups of people? On the 21st, Venus moves into Virgo and you could be attracting someone that is enamored with your intellect. Online dating is favorable during this transit. Once the Sun moves into Virgo on the 23rd, you may consider planning a short distance trip to end the Summer on high note. Mercury moving into Virgo on the 29th encourages you to get that oil change before hitting the road. The month winds down with a New Moon in Virgo inviting you to communicate your ideas in new ways. Maybe it's time to start that blog or YouTube channel to share your wealth of wisdom as an act of service to others.
Leo and Leo Rising
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Happy birthday, superstar! Jupiter is showering you with blessings once it goes direct on the 11th, enhancing your world with even more romance, adventure, and creativity. Mercury moves into your sign on the same day, making you the social butterfly of the season. Your dynamic energy is irresistible at this time, so use it to your advantage to make your birthday wishes come true. On the same day, Uranus goes retrograde, giving you the opportunity to reassess your career path and whether it's truly in alignment with what you personally value. Don't be surprised if you find yourself embarking on a new path once this transit is all said and done. On the 15th, the Full Moon in Aquarius highlights a committed partnership or business connection. However, some of you may be realizing that a key partnership no longer meshes with your long-term goals which could result in a separation.
On the 18th, Mars moves into Virgo bringing your focus to finances. This is a good time to reassess your budget and spending habits.
With Venus moving into this part of your chart shortly after, you could be on the receiving end of some extra cash or gifts. When it comes to love, attracting a partner with more long-term potential is possible during this transit. On the 23rd, the Sun moves into Virgo which could have you feeling a little raw and exposed due to you being overly critical of yourself. Be easy on yourself, mamí. Mercury moving into Virgo encourages you to use those positive affirmations to counteract the negative self-talk. The month closes out with a New Moon on the 30th that can bring in a new money-making opportunity for you that may alter your daily routine and your bank account.
Virgo and Virgo Rising
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Happy (early) birthday, Goddess! Jupiter is gifting you in the area of home and family once he goes direct on the 11th. Some of you may be relocating or even expanding your family in the months ahead. Don't forget to thank your ancestors as they play a big role in the blessings you're receiving during this transit. Mercury moves into Leo on the same day, enlivening your dream world with clues as to how you can tap into your star potential. You may even experience some past life recall of your life as a former entertainer which will ultimately help you embody that energy in this current lifetime if you choose. Uranus goes retrograde on the 11th as well and you're headed back to school (or diving deep into self-study on topics of interest).
It's time to expand your wisdom about the ideologies you value the most.
On the 18th, Mars moves into your sign and you're feeling more motivated than ever before. It's time to take the world by storm! Venus moves into your sign on the 21st, making you even more attractive than usual. Expect to be showered with attention, gifts, and money during this transit. If you want to switch up your look at all, this is a favorable time for a makeover. Virgo season officially begins on the 23rd and the world essentially revolves around you for the next month. Mercury moving into your sign on the 29th makes you the social butterfly of the zodiac at this time. Get out there and mingle. You could be meeting some important movers and shakers during this transit. On the 30th, the month winds down with a New Moon in your sign, inviting you to set an intention for what you'd like to accomplish in the year ahead.
Libra and Libra Rising
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Jupiter is bringing in the blessings once he goes direct on the 11th in a part of your chart having to do with communication, transportation, and short-distance travel. This energy is also ripe with breakthrough for any writers or speakers wanting to get themselves out there more. Mercury moves into Leo on the same day, helping you boost your social media presence. Shine bright, superstar! On the same day, Uranus begins its retrograde, inviting you to transform your inner psychological landscape as it pertains to your self-worth and money mindset. On the 15th, the Full Moon in Aquarius illuminates the world of romance, creativity, and adventure. You may find yourself connecting with someone who has a similar vision to yours when it comes to the long-term goals you want to accomplish.
Meeting someone who shares the same humanitarian interests as you is likely. This is also a great time to drop any creative projects you've been working on behind the scenes.
On the 18th, Mars moves into Virgo, giving you the motivation to clean up bad habits that interfere with your ambitions. It's time to put your inner critic in its place, babe. Venus follows shortly behind on the 21st and love matters take a more quiet approach. Spending time in the bedroom with bae will be more preferred during this transit. With Mercury in Virgo as well, the pillow talk will be even more stimulating than usual. By the end of the month, the Sun and the Moon are cozying up in the sky, inviting you to set some intentions that will help you implement better habits and routines into your life that will elevate the health of your mind and body.
Scorpio and Scorpio Rising
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The month opens up with Jupiter, the benevolent, going direct on the 11th which has the potential of bringing in some extra cash for you. If you've been looking for new ways to increase your flow of income, a fortunate opportunity could be knocking on your doorstep in the weeks to come. Mercury moves into Leo on the same day, boosting your presence amongst your work environment. You're making quite an impression on some really important people who are recognizing your ability to lead and make shit happen.
On the same day, Uranus goes retrograde, giving you the opportunity to reassess your relationship values. Are your relationships a reflection of your self-worth?
On the 18th, Mars moves into Virgo, bringing your attention to friends and social networking. With Venus moving into this part of your chart as well, you may be attracting someone from your friend circle. If you're single and open to meeting someone, sign up to volunteer with a local organization or humanitarian cause. The Sun moves into Virgo on the 23rd, getting you hyper-focused on those long-term goals of yours. Mercury moves into this part of your chart on the 29th, helping you get organized when it comes to achieving those big hopes and dreams of yours. Just watch out for being overly critical of yourself and the process. Believe in yourself! You wouldn't have the vision if it wasn't meant to be a reality.
Sagittarius and Sagittarius Rising
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Your ruling planet is bringing in the blessings, Saggie. Jupiter is finally going direct on the 11th, so expect a windfall of expansion and abundance in at least one area of your life. Mercury moves into Leo on the same day, inspiring you through international travel and foreign affairs. This is also a great time to publish any written work of yours. Some of you may even consider going back to school to expand your knowledge or dive deeper into self-study about esoteric wisdom. Uranus goes retrograde on the same day, giving you the opportunity to revamp your routines. Ask yourself if your habits really add value to your life. If not, it's time to make the cut. On the 15th, the Full Moon in Aquarius brings up an important conversation or opportunity for you to express your truth.
On the 18th, Mars moves into Virgo, getting you motivated to make some boss moves when it comes to your career.
Watch out for workplace romances while Venus transits through this part of your chart. You may find yourself attracting, or attracted to, someone in a position of power and influence. Virgo season officially begins when the sun moves into this perfectionist zodiac sign on the 23rd, helping you dot your i's and cross your t's when it comes to moving up the social ladder within your professional world. With Mercury moving into Virgo on the 29th, you've got the gift of gab and you're making quite the impression on your boss or someone that is interested in hiring you. The month winds down with a New Moon in Virgo on the 30th, bringing in that job opportunity or promotion you've been waiting on.
Capricorn and Capricorn Rising
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Your spiritual awareness gets a whole lot more expansive this month with Jupiter going direct on the 11th. Say goodbye to that past-life karma and hello to a more liberating experience. Mercury moves into Leo on the 11th, helping you to boldly conquer some of your inner demons. Keep in mind that you don't have to go at this alone and confiding in a professional wouldn't be the worst thing around this time. Uranus goes retrograde on the same day, giving you a chance to reevaluate whether your dating prospects are a reflection of your values. This is also a good time to give voice to your inner child and heal any self-esteem issues that inhibit your personal expression. On the 15th, the Full Moon in Aquarius brings your attention to money matters. This culminating energy can represent an ending in one source of income but trust that something more abundant is coming in for you.
Use the power of social media and networking to create new opportunities for yourself.
On the 18th, Mars moves into Virgo and your wanderlust is insatiable. This is a good time to plan an international voyage or learn more about another culture. Venus moving into this part of your chart on the 21st could have you attracting someone from a far away land. The Sun moves into Virgo on the 23rd, helping you get more organized when it comes to your research and studies. With Mercury moving into this part of your chart on the 29th, it's a good idea to connect with like-minded individuals to reinforce what you're learning. This is also an opportune time to publish that think piece or book you've been working on. The month winds down with a New Moon in Virgo, inviting you to connect with a new teacher or guide (possibly even a spirit guide) that will help you transcend to a higher level of consciousness.
Aquarius and Aquarius Rising
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The month starts off slow leading up to the highly anticipated Jupiter direct on the 11th, helping you expand your social circle and reap some blessings when it comes to that long-term vision of yours. Mercury moves into Leo the same day, making your relationships more animated than usual. Just watch out for being too much of a drama queen with your significant other or in a business partnership. Uranus goes retrograde on the same day, giving you the chance to reevaluate your living arrangements and your family dynamics. It's time to reshape the money mindset imparted on you throughout your ancestral lineage. On the 15th, the Full Moon in your sign places you front and center stage.
It's time to reveal the new and improved version of yourself! This energy fully supports you in revamping your wardrobe or getting that new hairstyle.
On the 18th, Mars moves into Virgo and you're motivated to transform your psyche particularly when it comes to obsessive forms of self-criticism and judgement whether it's towards yourself or others. Venus moves into this part of your chart on the 21st, giving you the upper hand in receiving financial assistance from a benefactor. When the Sun moves into Virgo on the 23rd, you'll be getting to the psychological root of any health issues you've been struggling with. Mercury moves into Virgo on the 29th, inviting you to research some better alternatives for dealing with stress and anxiety. The month winds down with a New Moon in Virgo on the 30th, encouraging you to stick with these new, healthy habits which will completely transform your world in the next six months.
Pisces and Pisces Rising
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Jupiter, your ancient ruling planet, goes direct on the 11th, bringing you good fortune when it comes to your career and social status in the world. On the same day, Mercury moves into Leo, making you super dynamic in your work environment and very popular amongst your co-workers. You've got a lot of energy under this influence, so getting back into your fitness routine is favored at this time. Uranus, the great awakener, goes retrograde on the 11th as well, helping to liberate you from any self-limiting thought patterns that inhibit you from expressing your truth. If you're a writer or speaker in any capacity, this transit is opportune for restrategizing ways to bring in revenue with your skill set. On the 15th, the Full Moon in Aquarius releases you from some heavy past life karma that has perpetuated a belief of not being a part of the group.
As different as you are, sweet Pisces, you still belong.
On the 18th, Mars moves into your opposite sign, bringing your focus to relationships. Be mindful of being to critical or judgy of people that you have close, one-on-one connections with. Venus moves into this part of your chart on the 21st and you could be taking your current relationship to the next level. If you're single, you may be reevaluating your relationship boundaries to avoid continuing some unhealthy patterns you've been experiencing in love thus far. On the 23rd, the Sun moves into Virgo and you're more interested in connecting with others in a more intimate setting versus large groups of people. Mercury moving into this part of your chart on the 23rd could result in negotiations of contracts with a business partner or significant other. The New Moon on the 30th will help solidify this adjustment moving forward.
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Beyond Burnout: Nicole Walters' Blueprint For Achieving Career Success On Your Own Terms
Nicole Walters has always been known for two things: her ambition and her ability to recognize when life’s challenges can also double as an inspiring, lucrative brand.
This was first evident more than a decade ago when she quit her job as the corporate executive of a Fortune 500 company during a Periscope livestream. “I’m not sure if there’s an alignment of [our] future trajectory. I’m going to work for myself. I'm promoting myself to work for myself,” she said at the time before flashing a smile at the viewing audience. As she resigned on camera, a constant stream of encouraging messages floated upwards on the screen.
By 2021, she’d fashioned her work as a corporate consultant and her personal life with her husband and three adopted daughters into a reality show, She’s The Boss, for USA Network. This year, she released the New York Times bestselling memoir Nothing Is Missing, written as she was in the process of getting a divorce and dealing with her eldest daughter’s struggles with substance use.
Convinced that there’s no way the 39-year-old has achieved all of this without intentional strategic planning, I asked her about it when we spoke less than a week before Christmas. I’d seen videos on social media of her working on 2024 planning for other brands, and I wanted to know what that looked like following her own year of success.
She listed a number of goals, including ensuring that the projects she takes on in the new year align with her identity “as a Black woman, as an African woman, as a mother, as someone who has lived a [rebuilding] season and is now trying to live boldly and entirely as themselves.” But, I was shocked by how much of her business planning also prioritized rest.
Despite the bestselling book, a self-titled podcast, and working with numerous corporations, Walters said she’s been taking Fridays off. This year, she doesn’t want to work on Mondays, either.
“A lot of us think we work hard until retirement hits. I want to progress towards retirement,” she said, noting that she’ll check in with herself around March to see how successful this plan has been. The goal, Walters said, is to only be working on Tuesdays and Thursdays by sometime in 2025. “It is intentionally building out what I know I would like to have happen and not waiting for exhaustion to be the trigger of change.”
"A lot of us think we work hard until retirement hits. I want to progress towards retirement... It is intentionally building out what I know I would like to happen and not waiting for exhaustion to be the trigger of change."
Walters said the decision to progressively work less was partially in response to her previously held notions about her career, especially as an entrepreneur. “When I first started, I thought burnout was a part of it,” she said. “What I didn’t realize is that even if you’re able to bounce out of burnout or get back to it, there’s a cumulative impact on your body. If you think of your body as a tree and every time you go through burnout, you are taking a hack out of your trunk, yes, that trunk will heal over, and the tree will continue to grow, but it doesn't mean that you don’t have a weakened stem.”
But, the desire for increased rest was also in response to the major shifts that occurred three years ago when she was experiencing major changes in her family and realized her metaphorical tree was “bending all the way over.”
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“One of the things we have to recognize, especially as Black women, is that there is this engrained, societal, systemic notion that our worth is built around our productivity,” she added. “That is some language that I think is just now starting to really get unpacked.” In recent years, there’s been an increased awareness of achieving balance in life, with Tricia Hersey’s “The Nap Ministry” gaining attention based on the idea that rest, especially for Black women, is a form of resistance. Even online phrases such as “soft life” and “quiet quitting” have hinted at a cultural shift in prioritizing leisure over professional ambition.
"One of the things we have to recognize, especially as Black women, is that there is this engrained, societal, systemic notion that our worth is built around our productivity."
If companies are lining up to consult with Walters about their brands and products, then women have been looking to her for guidance on starting over since she invited them to livestream her resignation 12 years ago. As viewers continue to demand more from content creators in the form of intimate, personal details, Walters has navigated her personal brand with a sense of transparency without oversharing the vulnerable details about her life, especially when it comes to her family.
The entrepreneur said she’d been approached to write a book for several years and was initially convinced she was finally ready to write one about business. “I started to do that, and then I went through my divorce. When that happened, I said, why would I write a book telling people to get the life that I have when I’m not sure about the life that I have,” she said.
Instead, she decided to write Nothing Is Missing and provide a closer look at her life, starting with being born to immigrant Ghanaian parents (“You need to know my childhood to know why I’m passionate about entrepreneurship.”) through the adoption of her three daughters and eventual divorce. Despite her desire to share, however, she said she felt protective of the privacy of her family, including her ex-husband.
When discussing this with me, Walters said she was reminded of a lesson she learned from actress Kerry Washington, who released her own memoir, Thicker Than Water, just a week before Walters’ book release. Washington’s memoir grapples with family secrets, too, specifically the fact that she was conceived using a sperm donor and didn’t learn about it until she was already a successful TV star. While Washington reflects on how the decision and subsequent deception impacted her, she’s also careful to hold space for her parents’ experiences, too. “A lot of things she said was that she had to recognize where she was the supporting character and where she was the main character,” Walter said.
This is something Walter worked to do in Nothing Is Missing when discussing her daughter’s struggles with addiction. “I was very intentional about making sure that I did not reveal more than what was required,” she said. “If I say something about someone’s addiction, I don’t need to go into the list of the substances they used, how they used them, what I found. [I don’t need to] walk into a room and paint a picture of what it looked like for people to understand.”
Walters said some of the most vulnerable moments in the book barely made a ripple once it was released. She was extremely nervous to write about getting an abortion, she said. But no one has asked her about this in the months since the book was released. Instead, people have been more interested in quirkier revelations, such as the fact that she once appeared on Wheel of Fortune.
“I have bared my soul about this thing I went through in my youth that has changed me for people, and people are like, ‘So how heavy was the wheel when you spun it?’” she said, chuckling. “It just goes to show that people never worry about the thing that you worry about.”
With the success of Nothing Is Missing, Walters said she still isn’t planning to release a business book at the moment. But, as she navigates parenting a teenager and two adult children while also navigating a relationship with her new fiancé, Walters said she believes she has at least one or two more books to write about her personal journey. “There is sort of an arc of where my life has gone that I know I’ve got something more to say about this that I think is important, relevant and necessary,” she said.
In just three years, Walters’ life has undergone a major transformation. There’s no telling what the next three years will have in store for her, but it seems likely she’ll retain an inspired audience wherever life takes her.
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Rabbit In Retirement: 10 Women Recently Told Me Why They Stopped Using Sex Toys
Y’all, if there’s one thing that isn’t going away any time soon, it’s definitely sex toys — most specifically, vibrators. That’s not just my opinion either because there is quite a bit of data out here to support the fact that a little over half of all women use them. And out of that bunch, interestingly enough, they’re the ones to get the pelvic exams and do self-vaginal exams the most consistently. If you are among them, kudos to you for that.
And while there are plenty of women who will basically do a free commercial that vouches for sex toys (again, especially vibrators) because of how reliable they are when it comes to achieving the Big O and even though there are also articles (and social media posts) that talk about how some women even prefer them to actually being intimate with men (I don’t get that part yet y’all do you), believe it or not, there are also women who have officially retired their rabbit and dildos. Their reasons may not all be the same, yet there seem to be no regrets for most. I’ve got 10 women here who were happy to state their case.
*Middle names are always used so that people will feel comfortable speaking freely*
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Angelica. 37. Single.
“I started using sex toys because I could never cum with a partner. It didn't matter if he was a casual partner, a boyfriend, or even my ex-husband — sex was fine, but I could never ever fully ‘get there.’ A girlfriend of mine bought me a vibrating bullet, and I was hooked! Too hooked because it caused me to not even care if a man was pleasing me or not. And that’s why I let it go. I’m not going to go through my life thinking that the only way I can orgasm is with a device. The man I’m with now agrees. He’s made it his goal to make me not regret my decision.”
Rheya. 29. Engaged.
“I love my vibrators, do you hear me? I mean, you would think that they were actual people, the way that I used to talk about them, because, yes, I gave them names and everything. Don’t judge me! But when my fiancé and I first started having sex, he would ask me why I had so many of them. When I told him that they were a ‘sure thing,’ I guess he took that as a challenge because, one day, I came home, and they were gone. He said he didn’t throw them away, but he did put them up so that we could focus on him being what I wanted the most. Girl, I ain’t looked for them things. He made his point. No — he makes his point at least once a week!”
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Sebbe. 27. Single.
“If you’ve never used a vibrator before, it can be addicting. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. So much that it’ll have you out here mad at men for not being physically capable of doing what it can. I don’t even know if it’s healthy to cum in under two minutes, but what I do know is it’s not fair to expect humans to be like robots. So, I guess I’m on a fast from mine. I can’t promise you that it will be forever, but I do need to do some decompressing. I would hate to hate men for the rest of my life because their d-ck ain’t a rabbit.”
Xen. 32. Married.
“I recently watched a girl on Instagram talk about a vibrator can do just what a man can. I don’t know what the f-ck she was talking about. Back in my sex toy days, I was using them to tide me over in between not having a relationship so that I wouldn’t be out here in these crazy streets! But if any woman thinks that some little thing that you can hold in your hand beats a whole, complete, and entire man in their bed…they clearly have not met their match yet. I have, and I don’t have to see another sex toy again, thanks to him. S-it, let me call this man and tell him that.”
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Nora. 40. Single.
“A thrusting vibrator will change your life! I mean, CHANGE YOUR LIFE. I was out here turning down dates, not hanging with my girls, making it late to work — all kinds of craziness because that’s how much my thrusting vibrator was bringing me joy. That’s the problem: it was taking over my life. Women will talk all day about how porn can destroy a man’s view of intimacy, but they don’t wanna talk about that dependency on a vibrator can do to their cooty cat. One day, I threw mine out the window while driving down the street. I wasn’t going to part with it any other way. It was like I went through withdrawals — and that’s how I knew that it had to go. If no man is supposed to have me crazy actin’ like that, I know that no damn sex toy should!”
Quincie. 31. Single.
“I got scared silly out of not using vibrators anymore. I don’t really want to talk about it. I do want to share a warning: it’s probably not waterproof if it has to be plugged into the wall to charge. Folks don’t want to talk about that kind of stuff, but my vagina is happy to be alive right now.”
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Natalie. 46. In a Serious Relationship.
“Shellie, it was actually talking to you that got me to take the pressure off of myself and the men I sleep with when it comes to [vaginal] orgasms. For years, I would think that something was wrong with me because penetration wasn’t enough. When you said that the placement of the clitoris when it comes to the vagina can play a huge part in climaxing, that set me free! For a long time, I would bring sex toys in to stimulate my clitoris while I was having sex. The man I’m with now said that he preferred to do it — and the ways that he’s come up with, I prefer him too. That’s all I’m gonna say about that. Just know that there are a billion ways for a man to ‘apply pressure,’ sis.”
Bree. 28. Engaged.
“My situation might be different from other women you talk to. What I gave up was my rabbit and dildo, although my fiancé and I use BDSM stuff and cock rings. I got rid of certain sex toys because I like the feeling of only having my man inside of me. The feeling is different, and it takes more effort for me to cum, but I don’t mind that. The intimacy of real flesh is so much better than some silicone.”
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Chevele. 25. Single.
“My reason is simple. My first orgasm was with a sex toy, and I kind of regret that. I wanted to share that with a man — not [from having] ‘just sex’ either. I wanted it to be with someone I was in a serious commitment with, but I listened to my friends and put cumming before the intimacy I know I deserve. I’m seeing someone now, and I think I’m ready to have sex with him. I’m glad that I don’t have the dependency of any sex toy. I just want to see where things go and flow. We’ll see what happens.”
Hazel. 33. Married.
“Sex toys are alright. I’ve never been hooked but I won’t lie that they are very consistent. But when you’re in a happy and healthy marriage, the goal of sex isn’t just having an orgasm. You want to share yourself and learn your partner. Sex toys can make you lazy and almost apathetic if you’re not careful. Mine are in the garage. So long as I’ve got this big fine man in my bed, that’s where they will stay. I don’t miss them at all.”
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There you have it: 10 women who pretty much loved and left as far as sex toys go. I must admit that the thing I enjoy most about these types of articles is that I get to share that there is more than one side to everything. In this case, yes, a lot of women are thriving in their sex toy box. Then there are women who have never touched one. And then there are women who can look back on their experiences fondly and still leave them in the past with no regrets.
My biggest takeaway? If you can’t see life without something, you probably need to scale back a bit. Otherwise, incorporate balance, know your “why” and do you — whether it’s a toy, your man, or…both. #wink
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Featured image by Maksymenko Nataliia/Getty Images