

Michelle Obama Opens Up About What It’s Like To Be ‘Seen’ As Herself After Years In The Public Eye
Former first lady Michelle Obama is providing insight into her journey of becoming her authentic self and what it meant to be seen for who she is for the first time in years.
The Obamas first stole our hearts in 2008 when Barack Obama was elected the 44th president of the United States. Barack's presidency was considered a monumental occasion because he, Michelle, and their two daughters were the first Black family in the White House.
Throughout Barack's presidential term, which lasted until 2016, Michelle showcased grace, elegance, and unwavering commitment to meaningful causes involving health, education, and women's empowerment, ultimately making her a beloved figure.
Since the Obamas' departure from the White House, Michelle, who continues to support similar causes, has opened up more about her life with the help of her best-selling books The Light We Carry and Becoming. In addition to the memoirs, the 59-year-old has a podcast with Audible titled “The Light with Michelle Obama,” highlighting specific topics such as friendships, parenting, and the pressures of being in the public eye, to name a few.
During a recent interview with Harper's Bazaar, Michelle describes how it feels to finally share her authenticity with the world after years of maintaining an image because of Barack's presidency and understanding the inability to control the public narrative.
Michelle On Being Her Authentic Self
In the discussion last month, Michelle disclosed that although she never imagined herself being in the spotlight, when it happened after Barack was elected as president in 2008, the mother of two knew that being the first lady came with great responsibility.
Michelle also mentioned that throughout Barack's term, she always tried to be "her authentic self." But after leaving the White House, the star could do it more freely without external pressures, which she considers inspirational because it can lead others to live in their truth and share their stories.
"You know, I never really sought out or wanted the spotlight, but I understand that having it comes with responsibility. I hope when people look at me, they see someone who tried to be her authentic self and tell her story in a way that allows others to also share theirs," she said. "That's what the book and podcast have been about for me—passing along my story and the lessons I've learned along the way so that others can reflect on it and share their own."
Michelle On Not Controlling The Public Narrative
Michelle added that during this journey of becoming her authentic self and sharing personal content, the one lesson she's learned as a public figure was that she has to be "satisfied" with how she is being perceived because people will always have their own narrative.
"And one of the big things I've learned after all these years is that there's not much I can do to control the narrative. People are going to think what they want to think. I just know as long as I am satisfied with how I am putting myself out there, that's all that matters," she explained.
Despite what others may think about Michelle, she is doing a great job, and will always be our favorite first lady.
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Remote Work Is Changing The Way Black Women Have To Deal With Microaggressions
When Mone’t walked into the office Monday morning, she was rocking a new hairstyle: blonde hair and long braids. Before she could even make it to her desk, a coworker approached her and said, “Oh cool! Predator!” referencing the aliens in the cult classic sci-fi franchise and saying her hairstyle looked similar to the extraterrestrial species.
She couldn’t even make it to her seat or make her morning cup of coffee before she was faced with microaggressions in the office.
Her story and a long list of variations are a mirrored experience for Black women in professional settings across the country. Not only do they have to navigate the gendered pressures of being a woman in the workplace, but they’re also subjected to racial microaggressions.
Microaggressions are defined as everyday subtle comments and interactions that are intentional and sometimes unintentional and geared toward historically marginalized groups and perpetuate racial and gender biases. Its muted manner makes it sometimes difficult to pinpoint compared to overt racism and even more so difficult to report.
From not "smiling enough" to being considered angry when others are deemed "passionate," Black women have to navigate office culture differently from their peers, and honestly, it’s exhausting. From comments on our hair to pressure to code-switch to be more palatable, for many Black women, office culture was synonymous with a toxic culture. For Black women, microaggressions can range from comments on hair, appearance, manner of speaking, disposition, and even work ethic.
So what’s been the fix to the stressful and exhausting office environments? Remote work.
A Harvard study found Black workers preferred hybrid or fully remote work at higher rates than white workers. In the comfort of their own homes and offices, where their coworkers show up on screen and not in their faces, they've found freedom from the microaggressions they used to face daily.
We spoke to three Black women in the corporate world in various fields on why being behind a screen gives them a respite from the expected code-switching and microaggressions they faced in the office.
Mone’t
For Mone’t, she has always been the only Black female software engineer at her tech job. She constantly found herself in the midst of uncomfortable conversations - whether it was a coworker wearing a Confederate shirt or someone questioning her role as an engineer.
“This Iranian guy told me I didn't look like a software engineer, and I said, 'Well, that's funny because you don’t look like a software engineer either because most software engineers are white men,'” she shared with xoNecole. "Most people automatically assume I’m either the product manager or the designer, and I have to correct them and let them know I'm an engineer."
"I don't deal with that as much anymore because I'm full-time remote and not in the office anymore, and it's a relief. I can focus on the work and not just make small talk which usually leads to somebody commenting on your appearance or position. Now that I’m remote, I don’t code-switch at all. I decided what you see is what you get. Not being me was exhausting.”
Tim Robberts/Getty Images
Briana
As the only Black person at her marketing job, Briana dealt with microaggressions that questioned her abilities in a job that she knew she was not only qualified for but also very skilled at. “Working remotely, people trust you to do your job. In the office, I dealt with a lot of micromanaging and people second-guessing my abilities, and coworkers even coming behind me and changing my work. When you’re dealing with social media, everyone thinks they can do your job."
"The major difference I’ve experienced now being a remote worker is that my team has confidence in me. They recognize I’m not only getting the job done, but I’m doing it well. Remote work has forced jobs to get more creative with recognition because you can’t just walk up to a coworker's desk and say, 'Good job.' Now they have to provide extra encouragement because they’re not there. I feel more supported now.”
Ajeyinka
For Ajeyinka, the microaggressions she faced were most often directed toward her appearance. “My hair has always been something that I've been mindful of, especially working in Corporate America. When I worked in the office, I usually styled my hair in braids or straight styles. I don't comment when my non-Black colleagues do something with their hair or style, but people always feel comfortable commenting when it comes to Black women."
Ajeyinka continued, "As Black women we switch up our hair a lot, and I just don’t think those changes need to be called out or pointed out every time. Now that I’m remote, I’ve cut my hair, I've experimented with color, and wear my nails how I want.”
Ajeyinka still faces microaggressions but notes they are less frequent now. Remote work cuts down on the in-person conversations where those microaggressions would typically take place.
FreshSplash/Getty Images
Even as corporations and companies across the nation take steps toward increasing diversity, equity, and inclusive training, microaggressions in the workplace will not just simply cease to exist because workers are behind a screen. People will still have their biases, judgments and make inappropriate comments.
But, it's important to recognize that offices can be hostile and toxic environments for many, especially for Black women, and if remote work can decrease the frequency in which those interactions occur, it's worth asking…why are we in a rush to get back to the office?
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