On Friday (May 3), The Intruder hits theaters and the film's trailers promise to give us the steamy love scene between Michael Ealy and Meagan Good we didn't know we needed. In the psychological thriller, the stars play a couple who are taking the next step in their relationship and buying their first home, only to find that they are now stuck with an uninvited houseguest from hell.
While the couple conjured up some major chemistry on-screen for the film, in real life, the stars are both married to partners who they are very much in love with.
Like all couples, celebrities aren't immune to miscommunication. We all have a desire to be loved, but not just any old way. A few years back, the internet was introduced to the concept of love languages by Gary Chapman and had the relationship world shook. It was then that we learned that misunderstandings can happen when it comes to the way we love, too. Michael Ealy, who has been married to his wife, Khatira Rafiqzada, since October 2012, recently sat down with xoNecole and opened up about how learning to love in his wife's language transformed his marriage for the better.
The 45-year-old actor revealed that understanding the way your partner needs to be loved lies in paying attention to the little things. He shared, "There are definitely lessons that come with staying with somebody and living with someone. Most of it is learning how to meet them at their level. Right? So for my wife, celebrating her birthday and I think certain other holidays really matter to her. They don't, to me. My birthday could come and go. It doesn't matter to me."
According to Michael, the key to a lasting relationship is knowing when to put your partner's needs before your own, even if that means taking time to celebrate special occasions you never may have cared about before. He shared that although he never put much importance on his birthday, understanding the sentimental value that certain holidays have for his wife made him change his perspective.
"I had to not approach her birthday in the way in which I approach mine. That was a hard lesson to learn and it took me a couple of years to figure it out. Because it was important to her, I realize, yeah, this is who you married. Like you married someone who, for whatever reason, this matters to them."
Michael says that being conscious of what matters to your partner is important because although certain acts of love may be menial to you, they can mean the world to the person you love. The Intruder actor told xoNecole, "So I have to kind of put aside whatever philosophy I have to kind of get through my life and any holidays in my world and be like, 'okay, this matters to you. I'm going to do whatever it takes so that you can be happy on this day because it makes you feel heard.'"
Spoken like a true heartthrob.
His co-star, Meagan, who has also been married to her husband, author and TV producer, Devon Franklin for the past five years, added to this sentiment and revealed the most important lesson she's learned since becoming a wife. The actress explained, "One of the biggest things I've learned is that you cannot love somebody the way you want to be loved. You have to love them the way they want to be loved, and vice versa. And you guys have to learn each other's language."
Although initially, she and her husband had to make some adjustments and compromises when it came to their lifelong union, she learned that real love can come of a number of different packages and they won't all be something you're used to; and that's OK.
Watch the video of the actors' candid conversation with us below.
MICHAEL EALY REVEALS THE HARD LESSON HE LEARNED IN HIS MARRIAGE youtu.be
The Intruder hits theaters on Friday!
Featured image by Instagram/@MichaelEaly.
In a xoNecole exclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
