This Podcast Host Has Advice For Setting Realistic Work-Life Boundaries
In xoNecole's series Mother/Hustler, we sit down with influential mom bosses who open up about the ups and downs of motherhood, as well as how they kill it in their respective industries, all while keeping their sanity and being intentional about self-care.
Real hustlers know that building an empire isn't a day job, issa lifestyle—one that doesn't stop for snack time and self-care Sundays. But Atlanta-based Mother/Hustler Mia Jaye has the secret to balancing your work and home life at the same damn time.
As a stay-at-home mom turned serial entrepreneur and longtime partner of recording artist Young Dolph, this mother-of-two knows that being a mommy mogul is a full-time job and according to Mia, your first duty as boss is to set effective boundaries.
In an exclusive interview with xoNecole she explained, "I think that there should be boundaries defined within your personal and professional life where the two overlap. If they overlap, then you can blend the two. For example, my romantic relationship has a very thin space that overlaps with my professional life. My partner and I safeguard the privacy of our relationship––there are only some parts that I may want to share that are acceptable. Setting boundaries has proven to be very healthy for us."
Mia explained that while having a partner who is also a hustler can be beneficial to her as an entrepreneur, these circumstances present their own set of challenges. "Sometimes I give my business less attention than I should. This happens because my partner is extremely busy in his career as a recording artist and I don't want my children to experience both parents being too busy in their careers than at home."
We sat down with Mia to talk finances, productivity, and self-care. Here's what we learned:
xoNecole: How do you handle moments when you feel overwhelmed?
Mia Jaye: I use CBD (laughs). Just kidding, but I try to make myself laugh or smile by saying or doing silly stuff like that, which is my attempt to try to make light of the source of my anxiety. Honestly, I only use cannabis during a high anxiety moment where I completely unplug for a moment and get into solitude to meditate, think and de-stress. I also take a moment to step away and get precious alone time with myself. I also take steam showers, listen to something uplifting and positive to my ears, and just focus on eliminating that overwhelming feeling.
What’s the hardest part of your day?
MJ: Waking up and getting started! I am not a morning person. I've found that waking 5:45am is the most appropriate time for me to get up, allowing me time to get everything for everyone in my family (most importantly, myself) accomplished. If not, I'm on the struggle bus every single morning and the person who suffers most is me.
How (and how often) do you practice self-care?
MJ: Self-care is super important to me and I've learned ways to reduce stress and anxiety and feel empowered from my therapist and life coach. Self-care has become a part of my daily routine.
When do you feel most productive?
MJ: I feel most productive a few times throughout the day. I feel most productive when my children are at school, when they are occupied with anyone other than me and when they are asleep which typically falls anytime between midnight to 3am!
What is your favorite way to spend “me time”?
MJ: Alone with aromatherapy, a steam shower, or bath time with candles. During quarantine, driving alone in the car and going to the grocery store has been lit (laughs).
What is your advice for dealing with mom guilt?
MJ: I think guilt for any person is a huge burden and plays a major part in causing stress, creating a major imbalance within the body. So, I would advise a mom or anyone else to forgive yourself often so that you will not be weighed down with stress. Accept that we are all learning, growing, and a work in progress so mistakes will happen, and being imperfect is perfectly OK!
What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned as an entrepreneur?
MJ: That you have to be flexible and resilient, quick to adjust to change and be able to delegate tasks in order to get more things accomplished.
What is the most important lesson you want your kid(s) to learn from you?
MJ: I want my kids to learn that possessing honorable character, humility, and taking pride in who they are and what they stand for are the greatest lessons they can learn––it is the essence of their being and being a good, solid human being is of prime importance.
Why was it important to you to be an entrepreneur even though some people may think that a 9-5 offers more stability?
MJ: I chose entrepreneurship because it fit my lifestyle better than being on someone else's time. Prior to launching my podcast, I traded my commercial real estate job in to become a stay-at-home mom. Since I have always been very ambitious––I sought out my first job when I was 12 at a hair salon––I knew that once I became a stay-home-mom I would find something of my own to create.
How has being a mother helped you become a better entrepreneur (or vice versa)?
MJ: Being a mother helps me because I am a more effective communicator. Understanding a "barely-talking" child is an art form and I have mastered it quite well. Entrepreneurship has helped me better delegate tasks, better quantify time (I use timers for everything), and I have become more virtuous and patient. Lastly, it has allowed me to have resilience when faced with circumstances that are outside my control, I adjust quickly and can remain calm in the process.
What advice do you have for moms who are looking to start their business but haven’t taken a step out on faith yet?
MJ: Get started. Take the smallest step forward. Celebrate your win for moving forward. Repeat those steps, and no matter how tired you get along the way, never stop and lose momentum. You will look up and those little steps will have transformed into giant steps from where you started.
What tips do you have for financial planning, both professionally and for your family?
MJ: I graduated with a B.S. in Finance with a concentration in Real Estate so it is extremely important to consult with a financial planner that you have interviewed, you have gained trust with and set goals with them. Begin investing in mutual funds, bonds, and other securities that you both decide on, invest in the purchase of a home and investment property and balance out your checkbook like your grandma used to, literally because these banks are making plenty of "mistakes" (laughs).
For more Mia, follow her on Instagram!
Featured image by Instagram/@iammiajaye.
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage