

Surviving Mercury Retrograde: What You Can Expect This Mercury Retrograde
Mercury retrograde is back again, but it is nothing that you can’t handle. Mercury retrogrades are infamous for being times of chaos, although Mercury has a much bigger message to convey during these times. Mercury retrogrades don’t occur to mess everything up, they come in to give clarity on the things that haven’t been working and overall areas of life that can be reviewed, reassessed, or reimagined. Yes, you should still double-check your transportation, technology, contracts, and anything fine detailed more thoroughly this time, but you also do not need to panic, as Mercury retrograde brings the energy of slowing down more than anything.
We are currently moving into the third out of the four Mercury retrogrades happening this year, and this Mercury retrograde transit will be moving through the signs of Libra and Virgo. Mercury entered its pre-shadow phase on August 22, a time when you start to get glimpses of what you are about to embark on with Mercury, and also times when you tend to make more mistakes, detours, or go through the experiences that you will be reviewing once Mercury officially goes Retrograde.
Once Mercury goes retrograde in Libra on September 9, anything that is keeping you away from your peace is being highlighted. Focusing on finding your balance within partnerships, and being in your truth is key right now. On September 23, Mercury retrograde enters Virgo, and Mercury overall enjoys being in Virgo and is exalted here. This energy is more about release, healing, taking what you’ve learned over the past few weeks, and grounding yourself in preparation for the new that is to come once Mercury goes direct on October 2.
The most important lesson that all Mercury retrogrades bring is about inspiring you to see something you may have missed before. The best way to move through a Mercury retrograde is to have a sense of humor, flow with change, and know that this too shall pass. The more you can focus on the growth that is occurring, the better. Ask for grace from the planets, and believe in your ability to renew.
Read below to see what Mercury retrogrades transit from September 9 to October 2 has in store for you.
What Mercury Retrograde Means for Aries
Mercury moving retrograde into your opposite sign, Libra, brings attention to your relationships in life, Aries. You could be experiencing more miscommunications within your partnerships during this transit, and it’s about remaining open-minded to all perspectives that are being heard. Strong relationships will only grow closer during this time, and relationships that should be looked at more closely are now changing dynamics. Love wants to show you something during this Mercury retrograde, and it’s all about remaining open to the possibilities, rather than giving too much attention to doubts.
There could be some renegotiations happening within business matters as well during this time as the 7th house, where Mercury is transiting, also rules your business partnerships. Overall, it’s about balancing your needs with those of others and taking responsibility for anything you are putting out there. The end of this Mercury transit is all about your health and taking things day by day as your daily tasks and to-do lists change.
What Mercury Retrograde Means for Taurus
Taurus, Mercury retrograde is bringing energy into your day-to-day world, and it’s important to have the patience right now as you see your plans through and attend to your daily tasks. Remember that a change of plans is often a blessing in disguise, and to work with the energy flowing through your world rather than being impatient with it. Misunderstandings at work or regarding health matters can become more pressing during this time, and going over the details is more important right now.
You are going through a review of your health, daily routines, and lifestyle during this transit and overcoming any perceived challenges here. This Mercury retrograde is here to get rid of any unhealthy daily patterns or activities and to create a new beneficial, daily routine for yourself. Once Mercury retrograde moves into a fellow earth sign, Virgo, on the 23rd, this transit will run more smoothly for you and you will be getting more opportunities to engage in the things that make you the happiest.
What Mercury Retrograde Means for Gemini
Your ruling planet Mercury is making another one of its retrograde transits of the year, but luckily, Mercury already moved through your sign early this year in May, and you are less in the direct field of action right now. For you, this Mercury retrograde is beginning your house of romance, happiness, and creativity and is a time of reviewing where the joy is in your life/or lack thereof, and asking yourself if you’ve been prioritizing this enough for yourself.
Any limitations you have been feeling creatively and within the heart come up at this time, and you are doing some releasing right now to make more room for the good to enter your life. By the end of this transit the key is to get some more downtime, rest, meditate, and do your grounding rituals, Gemini. Thinking about your emotional stability and security in life is important as you emotionally renew, gain new ground, and find your balance.
What Mercury Retrograde Means for Cancer
This Mercury retrograde is hitting home for you, Cancer. With Mercury retrograde moving through your house of family, roots, history, inner foundation, and home life, you are needing to bring more attention to this area of your life right now. This Mercury retrograde is a good time to get back to the basics. You are taking a look at your foundations right now, where you are feeling that support in life, and where you want to continue to grow your roots. Your emotional well-being is the priority, and your safe spaces are where to be to get through this time.
Some misunderstandings with family or close loved ones are more likely with Mercury retrograde, and this is overall a good time to do some inner child healing or to reflect on where in your life you can do some healing, emotional rejuvenating, or where you want to rebuild. Towards the end of this transit you are going to be communicating your needs and ideas, and connecting with those who show up for you.
What Mercury Retrograde Means for Leo
Leo, this Mercury retrograde is starting in your 3rd house, and some extra precaution is necessary when it comes to travel, transportation, and your communication channels. This Mercury retrograde is influencing you in the sense that it’s about overcoming previous communication challenges, and seeing what has been blocking you from feeling heard. You are seeing where in your life things run smoothly, and where the same hiccups keep coming into play, inspiring you to see where some changes need to be made.
You could feel like your natural flow in the day is a little more challenging than usual during this time, and you are reworking your daily systems and prioritizing what is really worth your energy right now. During the end of this transit, Mercury retro moves into your financial zone and this is a good time to declutter your purse or wallet, pay off any bills or debts, and do a review of your long-term goals.
What Mercury Retrograde Means for Virgo
Mercury retrogrades in general are already a little more intense for you than most, Virgo, considering Mercury is your ruling planet and whatever it is doing in the sky, you are going to feel it the most. However, this particular retrograde is important for you as it will be in your sign during the last leg of its transit. The beginning of this Mercury retrograde transit is all about going over your goals and plans and making sure they still align with who you are today and that they are sustainable for the time to come.
Your financial world is being highlighted for most of this transit, and it’s key to back yourself up right now. Mercury retrograde moves into your sign from September 23 until October 2, and you are spending some time reflecting on the personal changes you have gone through over the last year both mentally and physically. It’s about honoring this growth and development you have been going through and seeing yourself in a new, more favorable, and accepting light.
What Mercury Retrograde Means for Libra
Mercury retrograde is traveling through your sign for the first three weeks of its journey, and you are getting real with what’s been happening in your life recently. There is a sense of closure and preparation that you are moving into now, and it’s all about self-reflection during this time. A few different aspects of your life will be impacted during this Mercury retrograde since it’s occurring in your 1st house of self. Still, it’s overall about being consistent with this personal growth you are moving through, and about getting your ducks in a row.
Plans change but remember you are the one writing this story and you can reframe and redirect yourself as needed. This Mercury retrograde is about breaking down any self-imposed barriers, and communicating more of yourself and what you need and are looking for in life. You will be leaving this retrograde with a feeling of overall greater self-confidence, Libra.
What Mercury Retrograde Means for Scorpio
Scorpio, you are moving into a time of closure, healing, and revelation. This Mercury retrograde for you is all about closing one chapter and understanding the lessons that have come from them. The key to this transit for you is about letting go and flowing with change instead of fighting it. Know that what is falling from your life at this time will come back to you if it’s meant to, or will be replaced with something better.
It’s about being inspired by the transformations occurring now, and not getting too caught up in the head about them. Feel things through right now, and do some daily grounding rituals as the past may be coming up for you more than usual right now. Know that what is being brought up for you now is happening so you can release, replenish, and renew. Get some time away during this time, and allow yourself the space to process, heal, and focus on your intentions.
What Mercury Retrograde Means for Sagittarius
This Mercury retrograde transit is beginning in your house of friendship and community, before moving into your 10th house of career. You are finding the balance between your personal life and professional life during this Mercury retro transit, and understanding who you are in both of these worlds. This Mercury retrograde is allowing you to go over some of your goals and dreams in life, and to see if they still apply to where you want to be now.
You are getting a clearer view of where you are headed in life and it’s up to you to decide if you want to keep going on a certain path or if you want to change course. There could be some miscommunication within friendships and your social networks right now, as you are thinking about who your people are, and where you are feeling supported within your friendships and community, and things are switching up for you here. Past goals, future goals, and your progress of them all come up for review for you during this time, Sagittarius.
What Mercury Retrograde Means for Capricorn
Your professional world, achievements, and career life are being highlighted during this Mercury retrograde transit, Capricorn. Remember to go over your work thoroughly, and to be flexible with others in your working/social sphere. This Mercury retrograde is overall here to tie up any loose ends and get things organized professionally before moving projects forward again. How you are feeling about your goals, achievements, and where you are in regards to career matters take focus during this time and it’s about being okay with cheering yourself on for a while.
The support will come, but there is something to understand at this time about showing up for yourself regardless of who is standing behind you. With the energy of this Mercury retrograde, you could be experiencing some misunderstandings with the authority figures, clients, or peers in your working environment, however, this energy will change in the last week of its transit starting on the 23rd when you get to explore your horizons a little bit more.
What Mercury Retrograde Means for Aquarius
Aquarius, this Mercury retrograde will be occurring in your 9th house of adventure, and you are having to slow some things down when it comes to travel plans and the opportunities that are coming towards you. The 9th house rules adventure, travel, education, the higher mind, and spirituality; and with Mercury retrograding here, there is a sense of needing some more downtime to reflect and understand what your inner world has been showing you.
Plans change, paths detour, and you are searching for a new way forward during this time. Through the experiences you’ve encountered so far this year, a new perspective has been born and you are looking at your beliefs, truths, and personal values more right now. You are being guided to redefine what you align with today and how important it is to have faith in yourself and your life. The end of this Mercury retrograde journey for you is about a review of the commitments in your life and finding your balance between giving and receiving here.
What Mercury Retrograde Means for Pisces
This Mercury retrograde is influencing your love life and is shaking things up to make sure the foundations you are building for yourself here can last the tests of time, Pisces. The first few weeks of this Mercury retrograde are a time of looking at where you have been feeling the empowerment in your life, and also where you may be giving away your power. Mercury will be highlighting for you what you need within your close partnerships, commitments, and within your financial world as well; and if you’ve been receiving that or not.
There are some shake-ups occurring within your relationships right now, but know that Mercury retrogrades are more about providing clarity, rather than anything else. In the last week or so of this transit, Mercury will enter Virgo, your opposite sign, and will be in your house of love. Remember to allow yourself as much grace and unconditional love as you do so for others during this time, Pisces.
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Tayler Barakat is a Mystic who has studied Astrology for over a decade. She does intuitive astrology and tarot readings for people all over the world, and her work focuses on healing and empowering individuals. Follow her on Instagram @taylerbarakat_ and check out her website www.listentothevirgo.com.
Exclusive: KJ Smith Talks Viral Wedding With Skyh Black: ‘We Did What We Wanted To Do’
Whether it was your group chat, social media feed, or your favorite media outlet covering the spectacle, I’m pretty sure you’ve come across the viral Black wedding between actress KJ Smith (Sistas, Raising Kanan) and actor Skyh Black (All the Queen’s Men, Sistas). From their grand entrance to Jay-Z, Kayne West, and Beyoncé’s song “Lift Off” to KJ’s standout dance routine and the endless celebrity appearances, it’s an addictive TikTok scroll you can’t help but delve into.
But what many people would be surprised to know is that the couple’s original wedding plan was nothing like what it grew to be. What started as her simply scrolling through posts to get ideas eventually transformed into what the internet knows now as #TheBlackExperience. In an exclusive conversation with xoNecole, KJ walked us through her planning process, the morning of her wedding, and what she thinks of the online response.
Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Ready To Try Queening? Everything To Know About The Sex Position That Centers Your Pleasure
In my opinion, oral sex is the best type of sex. In the words of my favorite female R&B group, “You gotta go downtown, that’s the way to my love...” But if you want to enhance your oral sex experience, you gotta try face-sitting.
Face-sitting has been making its rounds again on the interwebs, however, it’s been around since the 1800s. During that time, it became increasingly popular for “upper-class women” to enjoy sexual gratification from men and avoid pregnancy all at the same damn time.
What Is Queening or Face-Sitting?
Face-sitting is just what it says, sitting on your partner’s face. We're talking genital-to-face contact here. We're talking delightfully, smothering intimate oral sex. Face-sitting can be a deeply fulfilling experience for both partners since it allows them to develop incredible intimacy and closeness. Because of its throne metaphor, face-sitting is sometimes called queening. In comparison to traditional penetrative intercourse, face sitting can lead to orgasms that are much more frequent for cisgender women. This makes total sense since it’s been scientifically proven that direct clitoral stimulation boosts intense orgasms.
The only couple I trust when it comes to learning how to “face-sit” correctly are sex experts Dee H. Black and Laydee Vee of DVPassion. When I found out they actually teach a “face-sitting” class at Exxxotica a while back, I had to interview them.
Laydee Vee believes sitting makes people of all sizes feel comfortable praising their partner. Through breath play and smothering, participants learn how to enhance communication. The top person gives instructions to their partner below, which can make them feel dominant, powerful, and in control, whereas bottom partners may feel empowered and submissive.
Queening 101: The Most Ideal Sex Positions For Face-Sitting
Women sometimes hesitate to try face-sitting for fear of hurting their partner or being too heavy. Personally, I subscribe to the philosophy, "If they die, they die!" If they gotta go, why not go in between my legs? However, to build confidence, Laydee Vee suggests looking within. “Confidence starts with you. If you’re nervous, your partner may sense it, causing harm. Once you feel comfortable, you can experiment with different positions to find the one that works best for you.”
Once you become more comfortable, face-sitting can be even more enjoyable for you and your partner. A good position to try and build your confidence is the classic reverse cowgirl position, with your partner lying on their back and you straddling their face while facing their feet. By adding a pillow, the bottom partner can lean back more and add pressure to the vulva to intensify the face-sitting experience.
In addition to using a pillow while in the facesitting position, the bottom partner can also use other sex toys. For example, he or she can use a butt plug or a dildo to feel enjoyable. You can also engage in face sitting while you're on your knees or in a squat with a pillow for support if you want to take things to the next level. You'll experience more sensations and pressure as a result of this.
A personal favorite from Laydee Vee and Dee Black’s workshop is “The Queening Position,” where the person on top sits on the bottom’s face like a chair. For those of you that love anal play, this can be a really intense way to get it. You can also get up close to the anus and stimulate it with your mouth and tongue. If you are feeling adventurous, you can also try stroking the anus with your fingers.
Another advantage of face-sitting over other positions is that it can be used for threesomes and group sex. The top can, for instance, use their hands or a sex toy to satisfy others while simultaneously getting pleasured through genital stimulation from the bottom. The bottom, on the other hand, can also experience genital pleasure from others or even penetration while engaging in oral sex with the top.
Face-Sitting: How To Enjoy The Queening Position Comfortably & Safely
Although a number of people can enjoy the act of face-sitting, it is a very risky and potentially dangerous practice. It is possible to hurt your partner if you aren’t careful, hence why communication is key. As with any sexual act, it's important to talk with your partner ahead of time about their comfort level with face-sitting, as well as any potential boundaries or concerns they may have. In many cases, it may be helpful to start with a more gentle, exploratory approach, such as placing your partner's face between your thighs without bearing down too heavily.
Many things can be done to make face-sitting more comfortable for those who are hesitant about it. The first thing that you should do is get a good understanding of anatomy and the position. You might also want to discuss what kind of stimulation you're looking for in a face-sitting session with your partner.
A queening chair, a chair with a hole in the seat big enough for a mouth and part of the face to fit through, is another option I suggested. After lying on their back, the person on the bottom slides under the chair, allowing them to perform oral sex on the person sitting on top. Lastly, it's a good idea to have a signal with your partner for when they need a break. This can be as simple as tapping on their thigh or butt, but it's a great way to avoid having the session become too intense for them.
With a little bit of communication, experimentation, and attention to safety and pleasure, face-sitting can be a wonderfully intimate and satisfying addition to your sexual repertoire. So go forth with confidence and enjoy all the exciting new sensations this position can offer!
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