March is one of the most important months of 2023 astrologically. March is going to be a game-changer for many people, and this is the month that changes everything for the collective. The month begins in Pisces Season with Mercury entering Pisces on March 2nd. Perspectives are opening to new compassion and guidance right now, and anything feels possible. Mercury in Pisces brings a spiritual approach to the world, and divine clarity is taking place this month- pay attention to the signs.
The Full Moon of the month is happening in Virgo, and this Full Moon will be occurring on March 7th. This Full Moon is the Worm Moon of the year, and new developments are taking place right now. This Full Moon is about letting go of the chaos, getting organized, and focusing on your health and what is worthy of your time. Saturn makes its significant transit from Aquarius into Pisces on the same day, and this is when things start to change. Saturn in Pisces turns the focus from the material to the spiritual. A lot of people will be moving through an inner awakening during this time, and the world at large will be more focused on transparency, compassion for humanity, and learning to trust and grow your intuition and connection to the universe.
When it comes to matters of the heart, Venus enters Taurus on March 16th, and love is about being grounded, supportive, and allowing romance to fill your world. Venus in Taurus is sensual, beautiful, and appreciates the value of love. Don’t be afraid to show others how you feel and focus on what feels stable and secure for you in your relationships right now. On the 20th, Aries Season officially begins, and there is a spark of excitement in the air right now. Aries Season is feisty and the passion runs high during this time. With a New Moon in Aries the next day on the 21st, the end of March is all about independence, courage, and setting intentions for where you want to be.
Pluto moves into Aquarius on March 23rd, where it will remain until 2043. Pluto's transits are generational, so Pluto’s move into Aquarius is a big one. Pluto now moving through this air sign is all about the progression of humanity, and about focusing more on what is going to serve the collective rather than just the self. A few days later, Mars moves into emotional Cancer after being in Gemini since August 2022, and this is good news as there will be less mental chaos, and more emotional growth, clarity, and progression.
If you are looking for a change in your life, March is the month it's going to happen for you.
Aries Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch for you is all about not giving up on your dreams, Aries. Open your mind to the possibilities of what is ahead of you, and remember your strength when things feel challenging. With Saturn moving into your 12th house of endings, closure, and healing on March 7th until May 2025, you enter a multi-year journey of resolution, and a spiritual awakening will be occurring during this time.
There is a lot of energy moving through Aries in March with your season beginning toward the end of the month. Starting March 19th, Mercury enters your sign, the next day Aries Season begins, and the day after that on the 21st, there is a New Moon in Aries as well. Change is evident for you in March, and it’s all about knowing the difference between what is out of your control, and what can be transformed.
Taurus Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is a month of success for you, Taurus. You have gotten your groove back, and you are moving full speed ahead. The support, achievements, and personal growth you have been working toward are all happening for you this month, and there is a lot to be grateful for right now. Align with your determination, focus on your goals, and claim your success.
There is something beautiful happening this month and that is Venus, your ruling planet, entering your sign from March 16th - April 11th. Love is on your side and it’s time to find your balance within your relationships. You are being received especially favorably in March and it’s all about allowing yourself to feel the joy in how far you have come, and the love that is coming your way right now.
Gemini Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is the month to put the work in, Gemini. March is all about honing in on your skills and talents in life, and also being open to learning something new. Remember that what you put in is a direct reflection of what you get and that it’s time to ground yourself in dreams you are bringing to fruition right now.
Mars has been in your sign for an unusually long time, over six months, and finally moves out of here on March 25th and enters Cancer. With Mars moving out of your sign, you can take a deep breath and release all of the pent-up energy that has been flowing through your world since August 2022. You have learned a lot about yourself during this period, and now you are more clear on what you want to invest in and prioritize moving forward with Mars now moving into your 2nd house of investments and finances until May.
Cancer Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleTrust the process this month, Cancer. It can feel like a lot is happening for you at once in March, and your main guidance for the month is to take things easy and not let life overwhelm you. Take a look at what is true, and what may be self-sabotage stemming from overthinking. Do what you can in each moment, and save what you can’t for another day.
The Full Moon happening this month on the 7th will be moving through your house of communication, and you are receiving important clarity and ready to let go of what’s been mentally impacting your happiness. Mars moves into your sign before the month ends on the 25th, and that sense of feeling drained at the beginning of the month begins to turn around for you now as you enter an action-packed next few months.
Leo Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is all about perspective for you, Leo. Life is really what you make it this month and the more you can focus on what is working out for you rather than what isn’t, the better. Look at changes to plans as new opportunities and try to see the treasures in what is presenting itself to you this month.
Saturn makes its new journey into your 8th house of transformation, debt, taxes, shared resources, sex, death, and rebirth this month as well. Over the next few years, you will be moving through a time of feeling more challenged when it comes to change and recognizing some fears and emotional patterns that need to be addressed. The month ends with a New Moon in your 9th house of adventure on the 21st, and you are embarking on a new, exciting path.
Virgo Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a beautiful month of clarity, pleasure, and patience, Virgo. This month is setting you up to enjoy your time more and appreciate those little moments of bliss. You have planted the seeds, and right now it’s about nurturing your garden of dreams. There is new life upon you in March and you are truly seeing the fruits of your labor over the next few months.
At the beginning of March on the 7th, there is a Full Moon in your sign. This Full Moon is giving your clarity and shining the spotlight on you and who you are. Let go of what doesn’t support you and your growth, and dream big. On the 16th Venus moves into Taurus, and this is good news for you as a fellow earth sign. Love, relationships, and personal finances are all getting a boost of excitement and adventure for you until April 11th. Enjoy your life, Virgo.
Libra Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a powerful month for you, and you are manifesting your dreams, Libra. The power is in your hands right now, and you have all the tools necessary to succeed. March is all about offering a new perspective and allowing yourself to give the love you are wishing to receive. Write lists of gratitude, and know that the good you are feeling this month is only the beginning for you.
Saturn moves into your 6th house of health on the 7th where it will remain for the next few years. Health and working matters become prominent in your life, and this is where you should be investing more of your time and energy. Envision what a healthy, good, daily routine would look like for you, then take those steps toward that. The New Moon of the month happens on the 21st, and you are ready to start fresh in love.
Scorpio Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is a revelation month for you, Scorpio. You are gaining clarity on what experiences need to be laid to rest, and what growth can be enhanced through your positive attention toward them. The month begins with a Full Moon in your 11th house of friendship, and you are seeing who your people are this month. Don’t be afraid to open up and express to your support systems how you are feeling.
Your ruling planet Pluto makes a significant transit in March and that is its move from Capricorn into Aquarius. Pluto has been in Capricorn since 2008, as its transits are lengthy. Pluto will now be in your 4th house of home and family from March 2022 to March 2043. Pluto's attention here brings empowerment into your home life, but you will also be experiencing some intense changes. Generational healing will be taking place now.
Sagittarius Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about the vision, Sagittarius. Your empowerment is coming through from your positive and open perspective, and you are seeing things clearly right now. There is a lot of passion and excitement in your life in March, and everything feels possible for you right now. Saturn moves into Pisces on the 7th and into your 4th house, and you will be laying some new foundations in your life over the next few years and will be challenged to find more stability in your life.
On the 21st of the month, there is a New Moon in fellow fire sign Aries, and this is a romantic New Moon for you. Set your intentions for your relationships and love life during this time, and see what blooms for you. March is all about broadening your horizons and considering the possibilities of what is ahead of you. Consider the best possible outcome for yourself- then imagine it going even better than that.
Capricorn Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleBalance is coming into your life this month, Capricorn. You have some important decisions to make this month, and you are also seeing the positive results of past intentions and paths that have been walked on. Karma is on your side right now and with your ruling planet Saturn making a significant transit into Pisces this month, you are feeling more light-heartedness in your life and will be working toward growth with friendships, neighbors, siblings, and business.
Moving further into the month, Venus moves into a fellow earth sign and will be in your house of love, happiness, and romance from March 16th to April 11th. There are a lot of opportunities for bliss coming into your life now and remember to remind yourself that you are worthy of this unconditional love. Express yourself and let the scales come into balance.
Aquarius Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleEverything is coming full circle for you this month, Aquarius. March is your time of culmination and seeing positive progression when it comes to your financial world. Support is there for you, abundance surrounds you, and you are growing. This month is here to bless you and make sure you feel confident, grounded, and like you have everything you need in your life.
One of the most significant transits of the year for you is happening in March, and that is Pluto's entry into your sign. Pluto will be in your sign from 2022 to 2043, and you are moving through a long-term journey of finding yourself, expressing yourself, and feeling empowered doing so. Aquarians are often changing the world in some way, and you are aligning with this power of knowing what humanity needs to grow and progress right now.
Pisces Monthly Horoscope for March 2023
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThere is a settling down happening in your life this month, Pisces. March is a time to honor yourself, your energy, and your perspective, and allow change to take place gracefully. You need more time to figure some things out right now and you are choosing between two opportunities and paths forward. Give yourself space to work things out, and trust that the answers will come to you.
Saturn moves into Pisces on March 7th, where it will remain until 2025. You are entering a new journey of feeling more pressure to grow, develop, and be able to stand on your own for the time being. This time in your life isn’t here to push you around, but it is here to make sure you have enough foundation on your own to withstand the tests of time no matter what comes your way. You are growing, you are blooming, and you always have the power of choice.
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That’s part of the reason why the term “casual sex” irks me to the billionth degree (check out “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex'”); it’s because, even if you think that sex with someone is next-to-nothing, there is so much going on within you (oxytocin highs, if you’re unprotected, fluid bonding, chemical reactions in your brain, etc.) that doesn’t know if someone is “the one” (in your mind) or not. So, in many ways, it acts like they are (check out this YouTube video from a Catholic woman who studies some unexpected ways that sex affects us physically here; sex goes deep, y’all!).
Yeah, sex is so much more than a notion, and that’s why I’m a firm believer that it is such a barometer for long-term relationships overall — because, as I’ve shared before, I once read that, “Good sex in a relationship is 10 percent of the relationship while bad sex in a relationship is 90 percent of the relationship because sex tends to set the tone for what’s happening in the rest of the house.”
And that’s why I think that there are certain sex-related issues that can not only damage your sex life with your partner but could also end up ruining your relationship if you’re not careful (very careful). Let’s get into seven of them now.
1. Being Unaware of Your “Body Clock”
GiphyI can’t tell you how many clients I’ve had who’ve come to me in some serious trouble, in part due to their flailing (or partly nonexistent) sex life. When I ask them if they went to premarital counseling (if you’re engaged, please do; you have a 33 percent greater chance of avoiding divorce when counseling transpires), many say “no” and the ones who say “yes” usually say that it was no more than 3-5 sessions and the topic of sex barely came up (le sigh). Meanwhile, with my premarital meetings, I try and stick with intimacy for three months if I can because there is a lot to unpack, from what you learned as a child, to your first time (or if you are a virgin), to your needs and fantasies, to how you see it from a spiritual perspective — like I said, there is a lot to unpack there.
Take the mere practicality of sex, for example — and more specifically, your body clock. Do you prefer to have sex at night or in the daytime? A lot of couples struggle with intimacy because one prefers the former while the other likes the latter. Do you keep track of when you’re ovulating? It’s pure science why you are probably hornier during that time of the month (because your body is signaling that it’s time to conceive) vs. the fact that you might not be the most interested in sex when you’re PMS’ing. Are you premenopausal? Hormones shift a lot during that time, and here’s the thing — while menopause only lasts a year, the premenopausal stage (which typically starts between 45-55) can last between 7-14 years. Even paying attention to when you have more energy (some do in the day…morning sex, anyone? While others do early in the evening) can play a role.
So yeah, getting to know your body clock (and discussing your partner’s clock with them) can play a role in how much — or how little — sex you have…and that can add life or drain it from the relationship overall.
2. Comparing Your Present with Your Past
GiphyThere is a wife of almost 20 years I know who, when I asked her if she thought that her husband was good in bed, she paused for a second, shrugged her shoulders, and simply said, “I was a virgin when I got married, so I have nothing to compare him to. I mean, he’s good to me.” On the flip side, there’s a now divorced couple who I also know (who almost made it to 20 years) who had multiple partners before each other while also having a deep interest in porn who once said to me, “Sometimes, there’s as much as 15 people in our bed because of all of the people from our past and the porn that we’ve seen that’s running through our heads.” Yeah, y’all can act like body counts don’t matter, but there is so much evidence out here that says otherwise — that couple just gave one that doesn’t get talked about as much as it should.
You know, one of my favorite throwback shows is King of Queens (Kevin James, Leah Remini). A few weeks ago, I watched a rerun where Doug and Carrie were talking about the images that come up in their minds, sometimes during sex. Neither was too happy about it, and I can totally see why. I mean, if sex was just about “getting off” (and it’s not), then whatever. However, AGAIN, it’s also about connecting with your partner on a mental and emotional level, and that’s hard to do if you’re there with them in the body while you’re fantasizing about a celebrity, a porn actor (porn is usually acting, don’t let it fool you) or an ex (check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”).
And what if that is what’s going on? I once spoke with a sex therapist about this very thing. What she said is people should be less concerned about celebs (if it’s on occasion) and more concerned about that ex because rarely is sex with an ex…just about the sex.
And that’s why this point made the list. If you’re physically with your partner and mentally or emotionally with your ex at the same time, please don’t ignore that. There are definitely some unresolved issues there that you need to work through, whether it’s with a therapist, counselor, or coach, a trusted friend (who won’t add fuel to the literal fire), or even with your ex — although you might want to run that by your partner first because…I’m pretty sure you’d want him to do that with/for you. RIGHT?
3. Not Being Clear About Your Sexual Needs
GiphyQuestion — if someone were to walk up to you right now and ask you what your top seven sexual needs are, along with what your top five sexual dealbreakers are, would you be able to answer? It really is kind of wild how many people get upset with their partner for not being able to sexually satisfy them when even they can’t articulate what they need/require in order for that to happen. Yeah, it’s another article for another time about how many people UNREALISTICALLY (and yes, I am yelling it) think that someone loving them well means that they should be able to read their mind. Nope.
It truly can’t be said enough that sex — especially good sex — is about communication. Hmph. It makes me think about a clip that I saw from Tonight’s Conversation podcast (can’t find it at the moment; sorry) where a woman asked how she should tell her partner that he hasn’t been pleasing her, I believe she said for years. My first thought was if he doesn’t know that, she must be faking orgasms (more on that in a bit) which is not only lying — well, it is —, but it’s also pretty counterproductive because while he thinks that he’s “getting the job done,” she’s not fulfilled and resentment is setting in.
Please don’t let rom-coms (fiction) and social media (which is oftentimes fictitious) have you out here thinking that a good lover is someone you automatically gel with who knows exactly what to do; sometimes that is the case, and oftentimes it isn’t.
So, if the sex-related issue that you’re having in your relationship is that your sexual needs aren’t being met, first do you (and your partner) a favor by doing some sex journaling (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”) so that you can tangibly see what those needs are and then plan time within the next week or so to pour a couple of glasses of wine, put on some 90s R&B and discuss with your partner what you need. Because actually, what a good lover is, is someone who listens and retains. This brings me to the next point.
4. Minimizing Your Partner’s Sexual Needs
GiphyA husband once told that when he and his wife were in premarital counseling, something that he mentioned was a bona fide need was fellatio. According to him, his wife told both him and their counselor that she loved giving head. Fast forward to eight years of being in their union, and guess how many times that act went down? A measly four. FOUR TIMES (check out “Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?”).
It’s another message for another time, the amount of people who will “false advertise” during the dating stage in order to get to their goal of marriage. It’s also another message for another time how much that is a form of manipulation that tends to backfire in ways that the manipulator is oftentimes not prepared for.
For now, what I will say, is never think that just because something may not be a need for you that it isn’t a legitimate one for someone else. I mean, how would you feel if that’s how someone treated you? Yeah…exactly.
Yet that is just what happens in a lot of relationships, including when it comes to their bedroom. They will think that their needs should be met, hands down, yet when their partner comes with what’s important to them, all of a sudden, there is dismissiveness, nonchalance, and/or excuses — and how could that not rear its ugly head on so many levels?
Your partner’s sexual needs are essential, even if they are not your own. Never assume that you automatically know everything about them. Also, never assume that what worked two years ago is what will “scratch the itch” now. Hmph. Come to think of it, while you’re sipping on that wine and clearly articulating to him what turns you on, use that as an opportunity to ask him to return the favor. Listen with humility, receptiveness, and intent — the best kind of relationships process their partner’s needs with this kind of vibe…across the board.
5. Taking the “If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It” Approach
GiphyLazy lovers. When you hear that phrase, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? If it’s someone who is just lying there during sex, that would certainly qualify; however, I’m actually speaking of a different kind of laziness here. Believe it or not, some synonyms for lazy include words like apathetic, inattentive, tired, passive (cough, cough), procrastinating, neglectful, and slacking. So yeah, if you and/or your partner can use any of these words to define what sex is consistently like between the two of you — red flag, red flag…RED FREAKIN’ FLAG.
Speaking of being passive, another potentially serious sex-related problem is taking on the attitude that if something ain’t broke, you shouldn’t fix it. What I mean by that is, just because you know that getting on top and riding for exactly six-and-a-half minutes is what will get your partner off, that doesn’t mean that it should be your automatic go-to all of the damn time.
Why? Because. While a part of the fun of having sex is “reaching the peak,” another component that should never be underestimated is discovering new territory: trying new positions, creating a sex bucket list, taking (more) sexcations, playing sex-themed board games (put that phrase in Amazon or on Etsy’s site and go ham!)…you know, doing what will inspire creativity and deter either of you from becoming bored.
That said, a husband of 17 years once told me, “A man can be satisfied with the same woman. We just don’t want the same kind of sex with her.” Words to live by. Yes, indeed.
6. Using Sex as a Deflection or Coping Mechanism
GiphyA few years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Make-Up Sex Might Be Doing Your Relationship More Harm Than Good” — and with good cause. Words cannot express how many divorced (or soon-to-be divorced) women have told me that a part of what kept them in their marriage, for as long as they stayed in it, was the fact that the sex with their husband was beyond amazing…even though so much other stuff completely and totally sucked. Hey, good sex isn’t a bad thing (c’mon now); however, if it’s the only real thing that’s keeping you with someone, it can turn out to be a toxic deflector.
The reason why I say that is the purpose of sex isn’t to make love; it’s to celebrate it. And if all you’re doing with your partner is f — king and fighting or avoiding issues by stripping down or thinking that sex will “make it all better,” all the while not really knowing what the problem/issue is or what needs to be done to get down to the root of it, that is using sex as a pacifier and again, that’s not what sex is designed to be. Sex doesn’t deserve the pressure of being the end-all to “fixing” ish.
So, if what’s transpiring in your relationship lately is very little talking and a whole lot of sexing, and then once the sex is over, something still feels “off,” that’s a good indication that you’re misusing sex on some level. Get out of the bed, put on a robe, and do some talking (preferably in a room other than the bedroom; leave that space for sex and sleep only as much as possible). Because remember — as much as the wives that I mentioned said that their husbands once had them climbing the walls, those men are still ex-husbands now. Bottom line, sex is good, yet when it comes to keeping a relationship together, it will never be enough. Again, it was never designed to be.
7. Faking It
GiphyI will never be a fan of faking orgasms. Maybe it’s because I’m a Gemini (we may be a lot of things, but “fake” isn’t really our style). Maybe it’s because I’m a very word-literal individual, and I know that fake means things like “prepare or make (something specious, deceptive, or fraudulent)” and “to conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc., usually in order to deceive.” Or perhaps it’s because I don’t get how acting like you’re sexually fulfilled when you actually aren’t is doing anyone any good. Whatever it is, whenever a client (or someone in general because men fakealmost as much as women do) tells me that it’s something they do, I immediately find myself on a mission to shut that mess down (check out “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP”). ALL THE WAY DOWN.
The main reason is that, regardless of if the motive is to hurry things along, not hurt your partner’s feelings, or it’s something more cryptic than that (cough, cough, some form of manipulation tactic), there’s no way around the fact that fakeness is tied to deception and deception is a word that should never be connected to a healthy sexual dynamic.
Besides, one could argue that faking is a form of deflection as well because…wouldn’t it be better to just get it all out in the open WHY you are doing it than to keep pretending when life is too short and great sex is too good to not get the absolute most out of it, as much as possible?
Besides, again, chances are that if you’re faking that you’re sexually pleased, you’re probably faking something else in your relationship (or situation), and how could that possibly be good, right, or beneficial?
Yeah, when it comes to being satisfied across the board, please don’t fake it. State your case in the way that you’d like to hear something said to you, and let the chips fall where they may. If you’ve got a good man, he’s gonna — no pun — rise to the occasion. If his ego can’t handle it, well…that’s something that you should find out sooner than later — when it comes to the bedroom and outside of it? Right? #shoyouright
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