Is the Man in Your Life Pursuing You Or Playing You?

Playas are gonna play.

Dating

Have you ever dated a guy who you felt like was seriously pursuing you, but the moment you fell for him, he fell back?


Did he tell you everything that you wanted to hear only to become hard of hearing when you asked the dreaded question, "What are we?" Did he make you feel like you were the only one when really you were one of many? In a world of seducers, manipulators, and F-boys, it can be hard to tell who is really serious and who is playing serious games. Luckily, there are some dead giveaways to help us decide who is worth it and who we are better off without.

Let's play devil's advocate in some common casual dating scenarios to learn whether potential bae is pursuing or if he's playing.

The Serial Gamer

I once dated a guy who admitted to me that he would use literal games to get me more comfortable to ultimately try to have sex with me. He disarmed me by bringing me back to my most innocent time: childhood.

When I would go over to his house, we would play games for hours and joke around like we were kids. It was fun, there was no pressure. It was all just a good time. However, the red flag was what happened when we weren't playing those games.

He would put ideas in my head about what sex would be like with him or talk about sexual experiences in a way that let me know, if given the chance, he would not miss the opportunity to do all the things he talked about to me. You and your guy might not have played games like me and the guy I dated, but he could still be playing games.

He's Playing

If he would rather beat around the bush than talk about any real issues or even attempt to get to know you, he's playing. Add the fact that he only wants to do lighthearted activities or keep the conversation to a surface level with you, and oh yeah, he's most definitely playing.

If he was serious about you and a future with you, he would want to get to know you deeper than a surface level. He would ask questions to get to know you, he would want to know how your day was, he would spend time doing things you wanted to do and not just his favorite games. If he is ALWAYS playing games with you, he probably isn't really interested.

He's Pursuing

While in this scenario, playing games can sometimes mean that he is literally playing games, that's not always the case. If you are in a similar situation and potential bae is juggling his game playing with taking you on dates, taking the time to plan real activities, asking questions to get to know you, and actually taking the time to learn the things you like and dislike, there is a good chance he is pursuing you.

Remember when a man truly wants you, he will make it clear and when he doesn't, that should be clear to you as well. Don't spend another minute trying to figure out the feelings of a man who has already shown you your place in his life by game playing.

Show him who the real winner is, and leave him alone to play with himself.

Have you ever fallen for any of these types? How did you know he was pursuing you? How did you know he was playing? Let us know in the comments below.

Next Page

Sign up today and be the first to get notified on new updates, exclusive events, retreats and giveaways!

More Posts

It's time to send that last email, turn on your OOO response, and set your sights on your next beach vacation. However, you can't jet-set off without the perfect suits for Insta-worthy snaps and bikinis that will turn heads (if that's what you're looking for) while you sip a piña colada on a white sandy beach.

Keep reading... Show less

We're all pretenders, you know.

Keep reading... Show less

I'm not on social media, so some things I miss when they are trending. Take the #HurtBae hashtag that went viral a couple of years ago. I just saw all of the videos recently. Whew. If you're not familiar with the backstory, there's a platform called Iris that featured a former couple—Kourtney and Leonard. The first six-minute-and-some-change video consisted of them discussing/processing the ending of their relationship (according to Leonard, he slept with so many other women while they were together that he lost count). The second five-minute-and-some-change video was about Kourtney talking about the first video going viral and how it literally changed her life overnight. The final a-little-over-seven-minutes video brought Kourtney and Leonard back together, a year later, to see where things stood (Leonard, Leonard, Leonard).

Keep reading... Show less

Last night, the biggest party in Black entertainment went down and xoNecole has the detailed on everything you missed.

Hosted by Regina Hall, this year's BET Award show was the ultimate family reunion. With performers like Cardi B., Lizzo, Mary J. Blige, and guests like Taraji P. Henson and Rihanna sliding through looking like a whole snack, this is one cookout you wouldn't want to skip out on.

Keep reading... Show less

The last thing I expected last Tuesday was to be leaving my office in a stretcher begging paramedics to help me make it home to my daughter, but thankfully I walked away from the situation with my life and a loud and clear lesson that balance is the best defense against work burnout.

Keep reading... Show less

The OWN network has turned up the heat on Tuesday nights. And if you watched the premiere of the Will Packer produced series Ambitions, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Viewers were catapulted into this deliciously messy drama that follows the lives of five families who are all trying to navigate the waters of dominance, disloyalty, dishonesty, and most of all: debauchery. The cast is full of amazing actors who do more than a good job bringing their characters to life -- I'm talking Essence Atkins, Brian J. White, Kendrick Cross, Brely Evans and the lead lady of the pack: Robin Givens.

Keep reading... Show less
Exclusive Interviews
Latest Posts