Have you ever dated a guy who you felt like was seriously pursuing you, but the moment you fell for him, he fell back? Did he tell you everything that you wanted to hear only to become hard of hearing when you asked the dreaded question, "What are we?" Did he make you feel like you were the only one when really you were one of many? In a world of seducers, manipulators, and f-boys, it can be hard to tell who is really serious and who is playing serious games. Luckily, there are some dead giveaways to help us decide who is worth it and who we are better off without.
Let's play devil's advocate in some common casual dating scenarios to learn whether potential bae is pursuing or if he's playing.
The Serial Gamer
I once dated a guy who admitted to me that he would use literal games to get me more comfortable to ultimately try to have sex with me. He disarmed me by bringing me back to my most innocent time: childhood.
When I would go over to his house, we would play games for hours and joke around like we were kids. It was fun, there was no pressure. It was all just a good time. However, the red flag was what happened when we weren't playing those games.
He would put ideas in my head about what sex would be like with him or talk about sexual experiences in a way that let me know, if given the chance, he would not miss the opportunity to do all the things he talked about to me. You and your guy might not have played games like me and the guy I dated, but he could still be playing games.
If he would rather beat around the bush than talk about any real issues or even attempt to get to know you, he's playing. Add the fact that he only wants to do lighthearted activities or keep the conversation to a surface level with you, and oh yeah, he's most definitely playing.
If he was serious about you and a future with you, he would want to get to know you deeper than a surface level. He would ask questions to get to know you, he would want to know how your day was, he would spend time doing things you wanted to do and not just his favorite games. If he is ALWAYS playing games with you, he probably isn't really interested.
While in this scenario, playing games can sometimes mean that he is literally playing games, that's not always the case. If you are in a similar situation and potential bae is juggling his game playing with taking you on dates, taking the time to plan real activities, asking questions to get to know you, and actually taking the time to learn the things you like and dislike, there is a good chance he is pursuing you.
Featured image by GIF by Insecure/HBO