Lizzo Reminds Us The Root Of Success Lies In Sisterhood & Self-Love
As we enter the back half of 2020 and the pending presidential election, many of us are overwhelmed and stressed. In this 'new normal', where everything is virtual and social distancing is mandatory, the focus on well-being, from the inside out, has become a priority. Every day we're met with new techniques and tips to heal ourselves, cleanse our spirits, or take care of our mental health. One of the biggest proponents of that movement right now is Melissa Viviene Jefferson - more commonly known as Lizzo.
Lizzo sat down with Vogueto discuss sisterhood, being 'body-normative', and being of service to her culture. The interviews were taken over a three-month period that included #BlackoutTuesday and the historic announcement of Kamala Harris. In what seemed to be one of Lizzo's more revealing interviews, sisterhood and self-love are a prominent thread throughout.
Sisterhood is something Lizzo not only sings about but practices heavily IRL. The two most important members of her team, her DJ and her Creative Director, are her best friends. The three of them built this career from their bootstraps and continued to challenge each other to accomplish their individual dreams. And that bond doesn't just stop with her day ones.
"We have gone through so much since meeting each other. And we have always made sure that the relationship is what we prioritize. It's never been money. It's never been the career."
And that bond doesn't just stop with her day ones. In the interview, she remarks on her relationship with rap legend Missy Elliott and how they practice self-care for one another. She also credits manifestation a bit for her relationship with Missy.
"I don't know what happened first. Having the thoughts because it was gonna happen? Or having the thoughts and driving myself to make it happen? But knowing that it did, yeah, is incredible."
That sisterhood helped give her the confidence to take on other pressing issues in our world, like white supremacy, sexism, and fatphobia - to name a few. Like many of us, Lizzo feels constantly disappointed by the state of America and wants to facilitate the uncomfortable changes for the future. One step towards that is the adoption of 'body-normative', veering from the body positivity message she's known for. From doing the work to love herself, she's able to be a vessel of self-love for others.
"Now, you look at the hashtag 'body-positive,' and you see smaller-framed girls, curvier girls. Lotta white girls. And I feel no way about that because inclusivity is what my message is always about. I'm glad that this conversation is being included in the mainstream narrative.
"What I don't like is how the people that this term was created for are not benefiting from it. I would like to be body-normative. I want to normalize my body. And not just be like, 'Ooh, look at this cool movement. Being fat is body positive.' No, being fat is normal. I think now, I owe it to the people who started this to not just stop here."
Lizzo truly wants to be in service of her culture, but she knows that comes with a lot of self-love and care. She touches on the importance of the world's perspective of her because that impacts young women that look like her. And while she's excited for the potential for the first Black woman as a Vice President, she hopes it comes with real change.
"A lot of times I feel like we get distracted by the veneer of things. If things appear to be better, but they're not actually better, we lose our sense of protest."
To read Lizzo's October cover story in full, head over to Vogue.com.
Featured image via Giphy
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Courtney is a contributing writer, based in Puerto Rico by way of Tennessee. Interested in the intersection of fashion and culture, she has an affinity for fashion, empowerment, and really good tacos. Keep up with her on Instagram (@hautecourtxo).
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After college, I successfully landed an entertainment news role. I was passionate about my work and grateful for obtaining a job in my desired field. But like most entry-level positions in the creative industry, the pay was left to be desired. I quickly realized that I needed a second job to pay my bills.
Multiple career fairs later, I started a position with an insurance company.
My new role felt like my first “big girl” job because it had full benefits, and I couldn’t have been more excited. Plus, I could work this job during the day and my other gig at night. I excelled in my new role – exceeded the required enterprise accuracy score, received several cash awards, and was consistently selected to train my team members on different learning variances.
Everything was great initially, but unfortunately, the job that guaranteed financial stability became a nightmare after a while.
The first red flag was that this insurance company had an extremely high turnover rate primarily due to the relentless workload; therefore, teams were forced to consolidate and change leadership constantly. I was quickly burning out but overlooked the deteriorating company culture because it allowed me to keep my journalism gig and offered endless overtime. Also, the manager I had at the time was great – he provided opportunities for growth and mentorship.
It wasn’t until I reached my fourth manager that I had my first experience with a hostile work environment.
After several months on her team, my manager started the process of “quietly firing” me despite excelling on the team.
Team Building refers to quiet firing as a “passive-aggressive approach to performance management.” Supervisors will create unpleasant work conditions, which can cause an employee to suffer mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically.
Whether unintentional – because leaders can unintentionally be neglectful – or intentional, quiet firing creates a toxic work environment.
She stopped providing feedback, blocked promotional opportunities, and eventually denied my yearly raise. I felt hopeless. I couldn’t properly do my role some days because my manager spent most of her office hours avoiding her team. All issues on the team were ignored, and any work-related questions went unanswered.
Whenever I walked into the office, it felt like a dark cloud was cast over me because most of my day would consist of doing others’ jobs or explaining to other managers why I was reaching out to them instead of my own. It wasn’t until I worked myself nearly to death that I realized this job wasn’t worth it.
My health declined rapidly. I started to experience excruciating body aches and fatigue, and my hair was falling out. Clocking into a job where I was just a number, and work still had to be completed despite my failing health was exhausting. I ignored constant pleas from friends and family members to get help out of fear of being unable to pay my bills.
The last time I was admitted to the hospital, my manager called me, and instead of asking how I was, she asked when I was returning to work. The team’s numbers decreased drastically, and upper management wasn’t happy. My manager couldn't care less if I was okay as long as I made her look good. I’m not sure why it seemed like a shocking revelation at the time, but it did. The next time I went into the office, I resigned.
After a few years of forcing a working relationship that wasn’t meant to be, I finally left.
And in all my years of working, that job was the only one I ever walked away from. Although the toxic environment influenced my decision, something about quitting made me feel like a failure. Truthfully, I felt guilty for quitting at first. I believed it was irresponsible to quit without a backup plan. However, I later learned that my manager's hostile tactics, which I loathed, ended up being a blessing.
The entire experience made me realize that God had repeatedly shown me to leave that toxic job, but I was too afraid. It wasn’t until He made me sit still that I learned that this door was meant to close. Strangely, I’m happy my manager acted the way she did because I would’ve never had the courage to leave since that job equaled stability; I was complacent because I could pay my bills.
And that’s the life of so many currently – staying in an uncomfortable position because it offers stability.
That job also taught me the importance of pivoting. It doesn’t matter what your plan or backup plan is; you must be able to pivot at any time – be flexible and adaptable. The last lesson it taught me was never to settle for a job regardless of pay. I am no longer afraid to turn down a job if it’s not a good fit.
My physical and mental health is far more important than a job that can easily replace me at any moment.
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Feature image by FG Trade/ Getty Images
