Honestly, Lil Nas X Is The ‘Black Boy Joy’ Representation We Need In Our Lives
You know, Lil Nas X is one of those artists that is beyond his time. When he first arrived on the scene, rocking his pink little cowboy hat, and kicking it with Billy Ray Cyrus, we never knew he would kick up as much dust as he has in the name of just being yourself, no matter how unpopular. He pushes the bar further than the average comfort level, and he doesn't allow anyone to bully him or force him back into being ashamed of who he is: a young, Black, queer, man.
And honestly, he has always oozed of true Black boy joy, (which many of you aren't ready for that conversation, but we're going to have it anyway).
It all started when the rapper responded to a video from Boosie's latest appearance on The Breakfast Club. Boosie came out in defense of DaBaby after his controversial remarks at Rolling Loud in Miami. Boosie told his followers:
"Lil Nas X said he wanna perform naked on stage for charity. You don't f– with him like you f– with DaBaby. Be even-sided. You don't feel that's disrespect? Going dance naked. You don't think that's disrespect in front of boys who tryna be straight? It's totally disrespect."
Charlamagne tha God challenged Boosie, asking him directly what he meant by "people tryin' to be straight," to which Boosie asked, "If you got your kids watching TV, if you're trying to raise strong young Black men, would you be cool with your kids watching it?"
Charlamagne spoke up with the obvious that most rappers always seem to forget, that rap culture has historically had violent and "worse" images and lyrics for literally decades, and the rest goes down in uninformed and fragile masculinity history, as Boosie closes by saying that he needs to "speak up for straight people in the world."
Sigh.
Lil Nas X caught wind of the conversation and responded beautifully, simply saying:
the shit y\u2019all say about me would drive me crazy if i didn\u2019t already love myself— MONTERO \ud83e\udd8b (@MONTERO \ud83e\udd8b) 1629743888
And from here I was just so internally grateful to see him respond this way. I mean, he always have clever, perfectly timed responses, but this one felt more genuine; more in line on a spiritual level.
It reminded me of the time he celebrated a win with his dad, who accepts him as is:
lmaoo love this manpic.twitter.com/IoZB8QELi5— MONTERO \ud83e\udd8b (@MONTERO \ud83e\udd8b) 1616775615
Or when he showed himself a little love:
damn i look good in that pic on god https://twitter.com/yoyotrav/status/1222559450952798213\u00a0\u2026— MONTERO \ud83e\udd8b (@MONTERO \ud83e\udd8b) 1580318828
When he introduced his debut album with a beautiful caption:
All while hoping his haters saw it:
i hope my haters are sad. i hope they are crying. i want your tears to fill my grammy cup.— MONTERO \ud83e\udd8b (@MONTERO \ud83e\udd8b) 1617658875
When he happily danced around with a couple friends:
When he was well aware of the power of his words:
a sign of the times every time that i speak— MONTERO \ud83e\udd8b (@MONTERO \ud83e\udd8b) 1628275870
When Auntie Oprah made him smile ear-to-ear:
When he called out double standards (again and again and again):
the funny thing is the only actual nudity in the entire industry baby video was a woman\u2019s ass. not a single complaint. y\u2019all know what y\u2019all actually mad at lol— MONTERO \ud83e\udd8b (@MONTERO \ud83e\udd8b) 1627601455
And finally, when he shared some encouraging words to his followers:
all jokes aside, we get to control our own destiny, never let the world decide it for you. no matter how dark it may look keep fucking going!— MONTERO \ud83e\udd8b (@MONTERO \ud83e\udd8b) 1617672643
Lil Nas X represents many things in entertainment, and you can say a multitude of things about his approach in getting his message across. But one thing you can never say, is that he doesn't show up as his full self, while also never letting any of the ridicule dim his light.
And the last time I checked, that's what we call #blackboyjoy.
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Featured image by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for iHeartMedia
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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There Are Actually Scientific Reasons Why So Many Of Us Adore The Fall Season
Chile, maybe I’m just biased, but when I read earlier this year that the majority of Americans prefer the fall season over any other one, all I thought was, “Duh.” There really is no telling just how many articles I’ve written for this platform alone that have mentioned how fond I am of autumn and especially the month of October. I like the temperatures (well, I mean, global warming excluded). I like the scenery. I dig the outfits. I like pulling out my blankets and sipping on warm cider — hell, when it comes to fall, I adore pretty much everything about it.
Know what’s wild, though? There are actually some science-based reasons why so many of us are such big fans of that time of the year — one that is steadily approaching. So, if you’ve been trying to talk yourself out of getting a new neutral-colored comforter for your bed or you’re wondering if you’ve already gone too far with the pumpkins that you’ve got on your porch — my answer would be that you haven’t done enough to officially ring fall in! I’m not the only one who thinks that, either. Quite a bit of research thoroughly agrees.
It Takes Us Back to Our Childhoods
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It’s very common for fall to create feelings of nostalgia.For instance, even though it’s the season that technically doesn’t happen until the third week of September, many of us associate it with the first day of school, high school games, new television schedule line-ups (gee, remember that?), some of our favorite foods and drinks (like ginger snaps and hot cocoa), corn mazes, carving pumpkins, going trick-or-treating, attending fall festivals and so much other stuff that made autumn such a special time while growing up. Yeah, I bet if you thought back to what fall was like back when you were a kid right now, at least a couple of memories would immediately bring a smile to your face. (See…I told you.)
The Aesthetic Is Cozy and Comforting
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Scented candles. Roaring fireplaces. Fresh chrysanthemums. Foliage art. Metallic branches in vases. Neutral throw rugs. Carved pumpkins. Warm hues. Big throw pills. Cable-knit blankets. All of these are things that say “fall is here” in the most cozy and comforting ways. I mean, can you think of another time of year that beckons you to stay indoors more than fall does? Yeah, me neither.
It Boosts Your Self-Image
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Listen, if there’s one thing that I’m gonna do during the fall and winter seasons, it’s layer my outfits. That’s actually one of the reasons why I like fall so much — it’s because the fashion and style takes tend to be super on-point. And yes, based on what I’ve read, that’s another reason why a lot of people like the fall so much…since layering is about adding additional articles of clothing on, you don’t have to worry (as much) about the condition that your body is in like you do in the summertime. And when your body image is elevated, so is your confidence overall.
The Landscape Calms Us Down
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You might’ve already been aware of the fact that when you spend time in nature, it can help to de-stress you. Well, were you also aware of the fact that the beautiful colors of fall foliage can keep you calm as well? If you know anything about color psychology, this makes a lot of sense, considering a lot of leaves are shades of red (love), orange (happiness), and yellow (hope). So, if you’ve had a really stressful day at work, take the long way home to check out some fall trees or even rake up a pile and jump into them like when you were a kid. It could end up giving you the feeling of much-needed relief that you’ve been looking for.
It Creates a “Temporal Landmark”
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If you’ve never heard of a temporal landmark before, the long short of it is it’s moments in time that stand out to you to the point that it creates the perceptions that you currently have, plus it influences how you use your time in real-time. Since the holiday season kicks off during the fall season, activities like football games and homecomings mean a lot to people, and for some of us, the fall season marks the beginning of a new year (Rosh Hashanah), that’s another thing that makes autumn such a wonderful time of the year — we enjoy the way that we spend that season…a lot.
It’s an Unexpected Motivator
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On the heels of what I just said, whether you observe Rosh Hashanah or the winding down of the year is simply when you choose to pause and reflect in preparation for the calendar new year that is to come, some people really like the fall season because it motivates them to set new plans and goals. In fact, when you get a chance, check out “Why Fall Is The Perfect Time To Prep For The New Year.”
Using the next couple of months to ease into the new year makes a helluva lot more sense than jotting something down on New Year’s Eve real quick and then pressuring yourself to follow through for the first month of January.
It Means More Time with Family and Friends
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There’s probably no other time in the year when you are able to spend so much quality time with your loved ones than during the fall season, especially if they live out of town. I mean, just Thanksgiving alone proves that. Plus, winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21, which means that if you take time off leading into Christmas to visit family as well — that’s two times in less than a month that you’ve been able to get in some family and friends bonding time. If you love being around your family, fall always gives you time with them to look forward to.
It Means More Fall-Themed Sex
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When you get a chance, check out “Here's How To Have Some Really Great Fall-Themed Sex.” A part of the reason why I wrote it is because, did you know that late fall/early winter are the best times of the year to get some nookie? If you don’t believe me, also read “Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?”
Between it being darker for a longer period of time, science saying that rainy weather actually makes us hornier, and pumpkins being an aphrodisiac (among other things) — if fall wasn’t your favorite time of year before you read this, maybe it will convince you to change your mind. Enjoy your fall season, everybody! Oh, and read up on what the combination of pumpkin and lavender scents can do for your boudoir experience. Thank me later. #wink
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