As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.
This is the story of Chantel Robertson, CEO and founder of Upful Blends, a plant-based wellness brand, as told to xoNecole.
Surviving Early Traumas
I experienced six different diseases from the ages of 12 to 24, and I went through severe depression. In fact, when I was 12, I was on antidepressants. [Then it was] tumors, fibroids, auto-immune disease, heart disease, mental illness, hormonal imbalance—all these different things. One day, as I was in the hospital, on bed rest and on different medications, I felt that this couldn't be the only way [to heal]. Although it wasn't communicated with me through my parents or through my family, I knew that consuming medications or consistently getting surgeries just wasn't it.
What I feel contributed to the numerous health issues is based on my lineage and the traumas that my family has experienced. My mother and grandmother experienced such deep trauma, and I believe that [had an effect] from when I was born.
I also feel that I wasn't meant to consume a bunch of processed foods, but when you're younger, you're eating the hotdogs, hamburgers, baked mac and cheese, the fried chicken—all the things. I remember, as a child, I would still be full of life, happy and joyful. I would even put on performances for the kids on the block, but once I moved to another state with my family at 12, I just became very angry. From there, I was put on medications, and then things continued to come up as far as the illnesses.
Image courtesy of Upful Blends
Trekking Through The Amazon
I took a life-changing trip out to Honduras, first, into the rainforest, and I fasted on just plant medicine, different herbs, and alkaline water. I was able to propel my healing experience. From then, I began to connect with different people in my close circle and some who I'd bump into on the street, and they had connections to shamans and chiefs in the Brazilian Amazon, specifically with the Yawanawa tribe. I felt this deep desire and call to go to the Amazon and learn from the elders there about plant medicine and healing.
I'm a master manifester, so it just made sense that I got later connected with those people. When cultivating and building a relationship with them, they invited me out to the Amazon and that's when everything truly began. I've been to the Amazon three times so far, and I'd paused for a bit due to the pandemic. It's still somewhere I consistently visit, connect with, and continue to learn from.
The Amazon is its own sanctuary and it's beautiful. We don't truly know the density within society until we step away from that mentality of the 'go, go, go.' When out there, I always feel like it's a different planet.
The vibration, the energy from the earth—I felt things immediately begin to recalibrate. I was able to be in deep states of peace and clarity. I felt my connection to spirit was more clear and potent. There wasn't so much noise.
The people of tribes out there hold such a pure heart and clear wisdom of how they choose to live their life. They've cultivated wisdom on plant medicine—not from a book or going to a school for herbalism, but just off of centuries and lineages of men and women who have experienced these herbs firsthand. They know the plants' power of how they serve the body physically but also how they serve energetically, spiritually, and mentally.
Each time I visit, I stay for about two weeks, and throughout that process, I'd not only learn about plant medicine but hike, explore nature, and [learn more about the culture.]
Image by Xavier Bryan
Building A Brand
I began connecting with and building a community online based on what I learned on my trips. I just knew this healing process wasn't just for me. People began reaching out to me asking, 'Where can I get this herb?' or 'How can I learn how to fast?' As more people began reaching out, I said, let me just do this [brand.] I would create tonics at my house and driving around Florida dropping off orders. I'd just experienced healing, still in the moment recording the process, did not have a job [due to the absences related to chronic illnesses].
I had $20 to start, and it was either use that for food or to buy some herbs, where I could create different tonics and sell them. I was able to grow that $20 to $2 million. It was all from the transparency and intimacy with my community, and I love speaking and connecting with people. That is what breathes life into my brand.
What was huge in the jump from $20 to millions was recording my process. I recorded almost every moment of my life, from blending the herbs to creating the tonics to recording everything I was doing to activate healing within me. I was still adamant about fasting and consuming my herbs consistently. Outside of that, it was about bringing people onto my team who aligned with the vision and the culture that I wanted to instill within my team. And with those who were aligned energetically and spiritually with the brand, it supported us to work together as a team for the goal.
Within a year and a half from starting, I had a team of about two to three people, and with them, we created a huge impact based on our vision.
I wasn't fixated on the money. I was just aligning with what the mission was and I was very clear about who I was serving and supporting. I'd tune into that each day and as long as I was operating from that space of play, faith, love, and intention, it was easy.
Featured image courtesy of Upful Blends
RELATED
I sipped the herbal beverage offered by the concierge and took in my surroundings while the front desk attendant rapidly typed in my information. The hotel was beautiful. The kind of pristine white and neutral color palette that would normally disinterest me, but this place was artfully designed and tastefully decorated. More museum than monotone. With water surrounding a narrow walkway that parted ways to different destinations— restaurants to the left, the beach ahead, my room to the right.
I exhaled a sigh of relief that my home for the next three days was just as breathtaking as social media had described.
I’ve always wanted to take a solo trip. Something about traveling abroad without the comfort of friends and family scared me a little, which made me want to do it even more. While I’m no stranger to moving solo, I find solace in knowing that there’s usually someone journeying with me to foreign lands. But this year, I wanted something different. I wanted to not only step outside of my comfort zone but also embrace the peace and clarity that only stillness can provide.
Room for one.
Write on Kiah/Substack
“I’m going on a solo trip,” I responded whenever someone asked what my plans were for my birthday. The statement was often met with looks of intrigue and perhaps a bit of bewilderment as to why I would choose to be alone, in a foreign country, on my birthday—no less.
I must admit that I questioned the decision a couple of times myself. Birthdays are the one time of year when I can take a break from celebrating everyone else and be celebrated. But it’s also something that often only gets the spotlight if I’m the one planning it. And for the last couple of years, planning has been the last thing I felt like doing. I was starting to find self-centered celebrations to be a stressful endeavor. Figuring out where to go, who to invite, and what outfits to purchase (only for the outfits to not look as I had hoped). Organizing, waiting to see who would drop out last minute, and driving up the costs a little more. By the time I finished planning and prepping, I would find myself emotionally fatigued and lacking enthusiasm for the trip to come.
This year I just wanted to go and to be without the pressure of performing for the world to see. There would be no premeditated photo shoots. What I sacrificed in clothing hauls and beauty routines I made up for in high-quality accommodations.
This trip wasn’t about what would look great on social media, it was about what would feel good to my soul. With the perfect kind of bourgeois niceties that made you aspire for more than an average existence. I gave to myself (within my budget) how I desired to be treated—the best.
As I opened the door to my complimentary upgraded room (the first room was met with a lovely birthday surprise from my mom, but was a little too close to the noise of happy vacationers), I said a quiet prayer as I walked in awe throughout the suite.
Thank you, Father God, for providing me with the means to be able to experience this moment. For the opportunity to rest in a space that sparks joy.
I was also thankful that I decided to come on my own. It allowed me to experience the quiet solitude of the hotel in a way that I wouldn’t have if I was with others. I could go where I wanted and move at my own pace without considering how everyone else would feel or feel the need to entertain.
I casually moved about the property, stopping occasionally to snap a photo or two of aesthetically pleasing spaces. I treated myself to piña coladas on the beach as the sun set, and eucalyptus-filled steam rooms in the spa. I swam a few laps in an overlooked and under-used rooftop pool that I was quite sure most people didn’t realize existed and dipped my toes in the cold waters of the Pacific Ocean.
I did what I wanted, when I wanted—freedom at its finest.
Table for one.
Write on Kiah/Substack
I’ve always found eating alone at restaurants to be a little awkward. On one hand, I desire to be fully present and detached from my phone. Maybe lock eyes with a cute stranger and spark a conversation that carries well into the night. But I find that rarely happens. Instead, you’re looking around, watching others who are mostly coupled or in groups, trying not to stare. The bartender whirs to and fro as they mix together alcoholic concoctions, and even if there is someone joining in on your solo experience, their eyes are usually glued to their phones. Go figure.
But a solo birthday dinner in a beautiful country? Well, that’s different. You’re taking in your surroundings, chuckling at the drunken happenings around you, or tuning into too loud conversations that you can’t help but be privy to—keenly aware, but mildly amused.
And for some reason, everyone wants to talk to you. The waiters are extra friendly and attentive. The guests want to do you favors you didn’t ask for and snap photos because they like how your outfit matches the sunset. Your new next-table neighbors smile and clap as they sing along to the embarrassing happy birthday song that even fancy restaurants insist on chanting. You’re both the center of attention and the object of curiosity.
Who is this person who dresses up and dines alone?
It makes me realize how many fear their own company. They don’t know what to do when there’s no one to distract them from themselves. They’re afraid to look unpopular or unwanted. They fear the questions that they imagine other people are asking.
But I find that being alone is an invitation to truly know oneself. Deep ruminations turn into much-needed revelations. There’s a sense of empowerment that comes with being willing to do what others won’t. It’s in solitude that time slows to allow quiet reflection. And as a bonus, you feel badass when, at the end of it all, you pay for your check and walk away having accomplished your task for the day.
While I somewhat seriously declared this as my only solo birthday trip because next year, God-willing, I’m shedding the single title, I don’t believe this solo trip will be my last. There’s so much to gain in the absence of others. So many more parts of myself that I want to explore.
For more, check out the Write on Kiah Substack.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Thomas Barwick/Getty Images